Clear
by venenatus.venustas
Summary: WARNING SLASH - Part 1: COMPLETED. Part 2 - Unmistakeably Clear - COMPLETED! Something is wrong with Draco, but Harry doesn't notice as he tries to repair his treachery to an unforgiving Draco.
1. Clear

_Title:_ Clear

_Author:_ speciosus.draconis

_Pairing:_ Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

**WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. 

***

It was all suddenly very clear to Draco. He finally realised. He had not thought about it much, never thought that it would be _that_ important. 

But now, it was. 

Draco suddenly realised why it was so important for some people that their spouse was a virgin. Just the very thought of the one you love being touched by hands that weren't yours, being kissed by other lips than yours, being fucked by someone other than you. 

It would be enough to drive someone insane with jealousy and possessiveness.

He stared across the Great Hall at the Gryffindor table, taking note of the how close Potter and that Weasley girl were sitting together. How she looked up into Potter's eyes, inches away, smiling. And _especially_ how Potter smiled back, face lit up, eyes bright and cheerful. 

They are not dating, they are not dating, they are NOT dating…

…yet. 

Draco's heart gave a malicious wrench as he saw that Weasley girl lean against Potter's shoulder briefly, and Potter grin down at her. The two in their own private joke, behaving as if they really were lovers. Were they? Draco wasn't sure, but he was sure of the jealousy that was shooting through him rapidly. 

A small frown furrowed between his brows as he stabbed at his breakfast. Damn his overactive imagination! He could see them now, holding hands, kissing…that damn Weasley girl running her hands all over Potter. When he looked over at them again, Potter was concentrating on something, and the Weasley girl was talking to Seamus across the table.

Draco chose that delectable moment to carefully examine Potter's lips, so red, and currently pressed tightly together. Upper lip rather thin, but compensated by full bottom lip that curved gently in a bow. Rather chapped, but Draco noticed that he had a tendency to chew his bottom lip whenever he was especially focused on something. Like now. 

A furious, maddening, murderous rage of jealously and resentment flooded his being completely.

No. Potter can't date anyone. He simply _can't._ When one has a girlfriend, or boyfriend, one tends to do…intimate things. Intimate hands-on things. Intimate hands-on things that were sexual in nature, and, if not careful, would rapidly deteriorate into full blown sex.

Draco hands were shaking as he picked up his bag and left the Great Hall, silver eyes narrowed and glinting dangerously, lips compressed into a thin line, and his small frown had deepened and darkened his brow. He curled his fingers into fists.

They were still shaking.

***

Harry watched as Pansy Parkinson pulled on Malfoy's robe as he walked by her desk. Harry sneered inwardly. Faker. She was obviously pretending that she didn't understand how to do the question so that Malfoy could teach her. _Obviously._

And did he have to lean over her? Did he have to be so close to her? Did he have to put one hand on the back of Pansy's chair while pointing at her parchment with his other, head bent so that if Pansy turned her head to face him, they would be close enough to fucking _kiss_ each other? Did he have to talk in his low voice, as if he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear, and did Pansy have to giggle every so often as if he fucking _was_? 

And…was he?

Unreasonable anger welled up in him suddenly as he thought of Malfoy even being so near to someone who had the potential to be his girlfriend. It enraged him to no end, and for no reason. It made him inexplicably sad and depressed. It almost made him want to go up to Malfoy and claim him right now, right here. 

Almost.

Biting down hard on his lip, Harry tried to persuade himself that whatever it was he was thinking and feeling, he was not obsessed with Malfoy. Definitely not. 

Just because he wanted Malfoy for himself, and was insanely jealous of whoever got too near him didn't make Harry obsessed, right? 

It didn't work. Harry could feel his heart sinking and breaking when Malfoy's hand went from Pansy's parchment, to tilt her chin up to him, and then Malfoy was leaning in closer, eyes behind lowered lashes, making him appear almost shy. Pansy was trying too hard not to grin, and hope was written all over her face. 

A flash of red and green blinded Harry. 

"NO!" he shouted, banging his fist on the table and standing abruptly, knocking his heavy wooden chair over. 

The entire class froze, and every single head turned to face him, eyes wide, mouths agape. Malfoy had been startled, and had his wand drawn and ready, posture frozen and alert, his eyes already darting around the room before it landed on Harry. 

Professor McGonagall stood slowly from her desk at the front of the room. "Mr. Potter. What appears to have been the cause of your little…outburst?"

Harry flushed as he blinked once. Twice. With no small amount of trepidation, he stuttered "N-n-nothing. Nothing, Professor. I – I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I just…don't know what got into me."

Professor McGonagall's gaze was piercing, and Harry flushed even deeper under it. "Well then. Why isn't anyone getting on with their work? Mr. Malfoy, put your wand away. You have no use for it in a theory lesson. Mr. Potter, do pick your chair up and sit down. And try not to have any more of your…sudden exclamations in class. Other teachers may not be as forgiving."

The class buzzed as quills were dipped in ink and notes were rapidly scribbled down, all the while whispering about what happened. Malfoy stuck his wand back to his sleeve and continued on his way to the wall of books on the far side of the classroom. By the looks of it, he had already finished copying notes from their textbook, and was looking for more.

Still blushing furiously, Harry set his chair the right way up again and slumped into it, trying to make himself seem as small as possible. Keeping his head down, he could hear the low murmurs from his classmates, and sniggers from the Slytherins. 

He had never been so utterly embarrassed in his entire life. 

"Harry, what's wrong with you?" whispered Ron, fixing a quizzical look on him. "Does it have anything to do with You-Know-Who?" He looked terrified at the very thought. 

"No, it wasn't him. It was just –" _the other him_ "- just vertigo, or something, that's all. It wasn't anything. Or maybe I was half asleep, you know. I haven't really caught up with my sleep yet."

"Maybe you're coming down with a slight cold?" asked Ron. "You're right, anyway, probably just a dream." He turned back to his work.

If only dreams weren't this vivid and didn't make his heart hurt like this.

To Be Continued…?


	2. Trauma

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 2: _Trauma

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. ******

**Notes: **I want to thank everyone who wrote me such wonderful reviews! I was so encouraged that I sat down and wrote this even though I had no intention to do so (I have a Chemistry exam tomorrow…and two more exams after that!), so thank you very very very much and I hope you're still reading this!

***

Draco was trying to do his Potions essay. So far, he had two sentences. It did not help whatsoever that Crabbe and Goyle were in the next bed, talking about the latest Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match last Saturday, and all the acrobatic moves that Potter had put on just to show off. 

Draco scowled. He had actually seen the Weasley girl give Potter a short hug after the match was over. Who would want to hug a dirty, sweaty, Potter? Just because his messy hair had been even more wind-blown, just because his stupid green eyes were practically glittering from the adrenaline, and just because his cheeks had been flushed to make him appear almost pretty… 

It was all so helpless. Sitting here, going into fits over Potter, but not being able to do anything about it. Draco did not like feeling helpless. He wasn't a girl stuck in a tower. Speaking of which…damn that Weasley girl! This was all her fault. If she wasn't so touchy-feely towards Potter, he wouldn't be feeling this way. 

But what if she really was dating Potter? Draco would have to just sit there and take it, wouldn't he? It wasn't as if he could do anything about it. Again, the feeling of helplessness crept over him. Draco frowned. He was starting to hate vulnerability more and more. Malfoys were not helpless. They just weren't born to be. Malfoys were born to be assured, confident, poised and cool. Not waddling about in such a _frightful_ manner. 

He was almost ashamed of himself. 

The voices next to him were rising louder and louder with each syllable, and Draco, in his already agitated state, blew up. "Gods! Will you two shut up? I don't want to hear anything to do with Potter right now."

Crabbe stopped mid-sentence. "Oh. Sorry," said Goyle. "But we couldn't help it – Potter's – "

"This is it. I'm _not_ staying here." Draco climbed off his bed and swept out of the room, still frowning.

"Draco, where are you going?" called Crabbe.

"To Hell," came the answer.

Draco mused over his choice reply to Crabbe. Wasn't he in Hell already? If anyone asked him to describe what Hell would be, Draco would have to say that it was a place where you could only watch as Potter and the Weasley girl got their stuff on. 

He sighed. Perhaps a walk around the gardens would clear his mind. He couldn't hope that it would clear his mind off Potter, but at least it might calm him down and stop him from wanting to hex any girl that came near Potter. 

He stopped suddenly, just about to step through the hedges that fenced off the gardens from the rest of the grounds around Hogwarts. 

Sitting on the fountain, smack in the middle, was Potter. Fucking Potter. His profile was turned towards Draco, who watched as he reached out with a hand to caress the roses that surrounded him. Hadn't Potter noticed him yet?

"There you are, Draco, darling!" 

He didn't even have to turn to know who it was.

***

Harry quickly looked up at the call. Malfoy. Malfoy was here, and his heart suddenly thundered in his chest, blood rushed to his face and a deep aching inside him made itself known.

Malfoy was standing at the entrance to the gardens, and he had turned his head slightly to look at Pansy, who had latched onto his right arm. "Draco, why didn't you tell me you were here? This is _such_ a romantic place!"

All colour rushed back out of his head as quickly as it had gone up. But of course. Malfoy was here with Pansy.

Pansy narrowed her eyes. "What's Potter doing here?" She spat his name out as if it tasted bad. 

"Nothing," said Malfoy. 

"What I'm doing here has nothing to do with _you_, Pansy," scowled Harry, and watched as Pansy sniffed disdainfully and led Malfoy to a corner of the garden, where large bushes of pink roses were growing. Harry could still see them out of the corner of his eye.

"It's alright, Draco, darling, we can ignore him." She lowered her voice. "We can get a bit of privacy here, too."

And still, Malfoy didn't say anything, and chose, instead, to pluck a rose out of the bushes. Pansy wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling, tilting her head up to meet his. Malfoy was saying something, but Harry couldn't hear, and then he was mere centimeters away, sinfully long lashes falling over silver eyes like earlier today in Transfiguration, giving the same almost bashful look to him. Pansy's back was turned to Harry, but he could bet that the same longing would be painted all over her face. Her ugly pug-face, at that.

Malfoy was so close now that Harry could barely see his face. Even if he kissed her now, Harry wouldn't see.

It was as if a dagger was digging into his heart. He finally realized what people meant when they say 'stabs of jealousy'. Fucking ripping his heart out from his chest. Was it his imagination, or was his heart hurting for real? It was feeling real enough just then. 

_NO stop clinging to him stupid bitch don't touch him he's MINE get off him he's not yours to touch go away go away go AWAY stop touching him get your dirty hands off him you're tainting him my property not yours mine stop leaning so close his lips so perfect are not yours to kiss NO_

***

"Draco," came the breathy whisper.

Draco looked up from his rose as Pansy moved closer. "There's still some ink on your face. It's been there since Transfiguration."

"So? I don't care," Pansy said, going all the nearer to his lips.

Completely ignoring her advances, Draco lifted his hand. "It's alright, here, let me get that for you." He rubbed his thumb over the ink, leaning in to see better in the dim moonlight. "There," he said. "All better."

"Draco!" exclaimed Pansy, indignant.

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." 

Furious, Pansy glared at Draco's indifferent expression. When he stared back, eyes cold, she spun on her heel and lifted her head. "I'm leaving."

Draco shrugged, and looked at the pink rose he still held in his hands.

"Malfoy." Potter. It was Potter. Potter was speaking to him. Potter was there, standing right in front of him, _speaking_ to him. Of his own will. Did the boy always have to place himself in front of light so that glowing rays of sun or moon shone out from behind him, as if it was he that was giving out the ethereal glow?

"Potter." Indifferent. He had to remain indifferent, calm, collected, aloof. Had to. Even though his heart was beating at a hundred miles per hour and he could feel his hands begin to sweat nervously. God forbid Malfoys sweat when they get nervous.

"What're you doing here?"

"It's none of your business. Where's your Muggle-loving girlfriend?"

"It's none of your business."

"Go away, Potter, I'm not in the mood for you right now."

"Why? Because Pansy left you here all alone?"

"I couldn't care less where she left me, as long as she left." What was he doing? He didn't have to explain himself to Potter. He didn't have to explain himself to _anyone_.

"Oh."

Draco just stared at him, eyebrow raised slightly. "Tell me, Potter, what brings you to this corner of such a vast garden?"

Potter shrugged. "Dunno. Just wanted to see what you were up to."

"What, have your _friends_ all abandoned you so there's no one better to be with than me?"

"No." Potter glared at him briefly. "Just wanted some quiet time. And, I don't know, just to see what you were up to, like I said. I haven't seen you around much this year, and it's our last, so – "

"So you thought that you would play nice and make up with your worst enemy before you left?"

Potter actually had the _audacity_ to laugh. "No, Malfoy. You're not my worst enemy. Not by far."

Draco just about had a heart attack.

***

What was he doing? Coming up to Malfoy, here in such a secluded place. If Malfoy _Avada Kedavra_-ed him right now, he could lay there, dead for hours, perhaps days, before he was found. It was official. He was insane. But he just had to know, just _had_ to know if Malfoy and Pansy were…and then he was laughing, and Malfoy had a strange look on his face, and he reached up and touched the rose that Malfoy was holding up and twirling with long, slim fingers.

The rose stopped twirling immediately, and Malfoy gave a small cry as he dropped the flower. "Ouch!" 

Harry hastily withdrew his hand. "Are you OK?"

"Fine. Just got pricked by a thorn." They both watched as a drop of crimson blood appeared on porcelain skin.

_so beautiful_

"It's bleeding."

"I know."

"Do you want a Band-Aid?"

"A what?" Malfoy stuck his finger into his mouth. 

"Nevermind." Harry thought he was going to faint when it suddenly struck him.

Malfoy was sucking on his finger.

Malfoy was _sucking on his __finger. _

Malfoy was _SUCKING on his __FINGER. _

Wary grey eyes looked at him suspiciously. "Potter, are you feeling alright?"

"Why do you ask that?" he replied, somewhat faintly.

"You just look rather pale. Splotchy." That would be him being horrified and embarrassed at the same time.

"I'm…fine. Just dandy. I'll see you in class, Malfoy." And with that, Harry practically ran off, feeling dirty and completely and utterly traumatized by the whole ordeal.

To Be Continued…!


	3. Rage

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 3: _Dizzy

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes: **Thank you SO much for the wonderful reviews! Hope that all who have finals this week pass with flying colors, and that those who don't will continue reading this story! Thank you SOSOSOSOSOSOSO much! *sniff* I'm so happy you guys like my writing. *sniff* EEEEE. Um. Yeah. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I can't thank ya'll enough!

P.S. Sorry for the run-on sentences in this chapter…it's sort of an extension on Draco's mindless rambles…

***

Draco couldn't sleep. Try as he might, he just couldn't. He tried to stop thinking so much, and inevitably, his thoughts turned to Potter. He tried to stop thinking about Potter, and then he tried to stop thinking that he was thinking about Potter. 

Turning on his side, he yawned, stretched, sighed, rolled his eyes, and sighed again before turning onto his other side and repeating the procedure all over again. He had a sneaking suspicion that he, Draco Malfoy, was in love. After all, it was common knowledge that those immersed in love couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't pay attention, and was always continually depressed and extremely moody. 

Like that Romeo guy he was learning about in Wizard Literature. Didn't he end up dead?

He felt slightly nauseous, and there was a dull ache somewhere deep inside his chest. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be in love. Pretty crummy, in his opinion.

He groaned, then, and smacked his pillow with his face, lying spread eagle on his stomach. Was there no hope for him? Was he destined for a life of torture? Was this the "or else" he was facing when he defied his father's orders to receive the Dark Mark? 

And was it too hot under the covers? He kicked off his comforter and growled when he heard it fall to the floor. Grumbling, he reached down and pulled it back onto his bed. Yes, too hot. His blonde hair reached past his shoulders now, and the sticky strands were beginning to frustrate him. Grabbing a black satin ribbon off his nightstand, he tied his hair back at the nape of his neck and lay down again to resume his squirming and endless tossing.

Oh, what a cruel life he led. 

Draco had just about decided that the next worst thing to being a servant of Voldemort's would be to fall in love with Potter. The Boy Who Fucking Lived. If only he had just _died_ when he was _supposed_ to, then he wouldn't exist, Draco would not be in love, and even if he was in love, there was at least the chance that the love would be requited.

But no. Potter just _had_ to survive, and he _had_ to be perfect as well. Perfect Potter, and the most sought-after boy in school, second only to the one and only Draco Malfoy.

It was unfair, and Draco knew it, but he had to blame _someone_ for his sleepless nights. Crabbe was starting to make jokes about his extended PMS, and Goyle had decided, definitely, that Draco was in love and mooning over someone he couldn't get. Which, of course, brought up a whole new range of other jokes and teases…

This. Was. IT. 

He was not going to stay around doing nothing. No, he would be better off taking a walk, like he was going to do earlier this evening, until Potter had to be there and the whole thing escalated to the point where he had to hurry back to Slytherin and scream at Pansy, who had screamed back, and so of course Draco had to scream even more, because his reputation was now on the line, and until Pansy had run off in tears did he, Draco, stop screaming at her, and instead screamed at the people present in the common room for staring, not doing homework, not studying, for breathing too loud, for being there, for just plain existing.

Not exactly choice behaviour for a prefect, but who the hell cared? 

Yes, a walk would be just the thing. Grabbing his cloak, he threw it on over his pajamas and stalked out of the Slytherin dorms. Slinking through the shadows, he made his way to the Astronomy Tower, and was about to barge in when he heard a female voice.

"Should we tell them yet?"

And then a male voice, muffled and unclear. "Ginny…I don't know. You know Ron. If he knew I was with you, he'd…skin me alive, or something."

"I know, just…" A pause. "I don't want us to be a secret anymore. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think?"

"I'm not sure about this, Ginny. Just. Know that even though I can't tell anyone, I do love you. I really do." 

"Oh darling. I love you, too, you know that. I just…" And then low words were spoken and then it was quiet, and Draco just _knew_ that they were kissing.

A clutch of cold panic seized his heart with its icy unforgiving grip. 

Potter. Potter and that damned _damned DAMNED_ Weasley girl. Draco's heart beat wildly, and he was suddenly aware of his shaking hands which turned icy and stiff. Blood boiled through his veins bubbling towards his head as it pounded and ached and pounded some more so he could hear it so he could hear his own blood in his ears like the rushing of water in an ocean like the rush of wind as he flew and then his heart hurt and was cold so cold so painful he felt dizzy black spots appearing before his eyes and then the sound of footsteps towards the door and he fled and he ran and he ran all the way back to the dungeons and into the bathroom to wash his hot face because - 

He was ashen. Obviously, all the blood rushing towards his head somehow failed to reach his cheeks, as the reflection staring back at him had white, almost grey, skin. Wild silver eyes shimmered as if crazed, and a bunch of his hair had fallen out from his ponytail. He looked as if he just escaped St. Mungo's. 

His hands were still shaking, as they always did during periods of excessive emotion. They were slightly sweaty and clammy, but with the same icy stiffness, and Draco twisted the cold water on and thrust his hands under, reveling in the icy stream. He splashed water onto his face, and when he looked up into his reflection, there were streaks of water on his cheeks. Or were those tears? 

Potter and Ginny Weasley. He could imagine them now, in the Astronomy Tower, moonlight filling the room with a soft, romantic glow, the quietness of midnight enhancing the tenderness of the silence. And Potter, looking like he did in the rose garden, moonbeams like a halo around his black hair, emerald eyes luminous, and lips so red, simply demanding to be kissed, demanding to be nibbled at, to be licked and caressed with a gentle tongue until they were tender from the ministrations. Potter, with Ginny Weasley, who would be the one kissing him, tasting him, _touching_ him, dirtying him. 

The next time he saw that damned girl he was going to _Avada Kedavra_ her, no doubt about it. 

Most of all, it was driving Draco insane that someone other than him would be allowed to touch Potter, to kiss Potter, to love Potter. To have what was supposed to be his. 

_MINE_

"No!" His fist struck out, cracking the glass, but not breaking it, and then his knuckles were bleeding and Draco felt dizzy again, and hurt, it hurt so much Mommy make it stop hurting make my heart stop hurting so much, and he just needed to crawl into his bed and cry.

So he did just that.

***

Harry Potter was sleeping the sleep of the innocent. He was sleeping the sleep of the content, of the peaceful, of the satisfied. He slept the comforting sleep of someone who found out the Malfoy was, in fact, not dating Pansy, and by the looks and sound of it, abhorred her very presence near him. 

He snuggled deeper into his bed, hugging his extra pillow to himself.

Sometime during his deep sleep, his dreams turned to Malfoy and his sucking abilities, and his heart gave a hard thump and adrenaline rushed through his relaxed body as he blushed and grinned to himself in his dreams, squeezing his pillow even tighter with barely contained excitement.

To Be Continued…!


	4. Chipper

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 4: _Chipper

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes: **Thank you (again!) to the reviewers, it means so much to me! It's fun writing, but it's even more fun to know people read them! I'm so happy…tomorrow's my last exam, I got wonderful reviews and WAS it Harry with Ginny in the Tower? Hmmm…no idea! Happy Reading! And by the way, Draco gets piss-ass drunk. Heeheehee…Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, and Marionette!      

I changed this chapter!!!!! Just corrected the vodka error that everyone noticed. 

***

Harry bounded down to the Great Hall, smiling cheerfully at everyone, waving occasionally, chirping a "Hi! Morning!" every now and then, and being all-round happy. Ron stalked next to him, eyelids still heavy with sleep, grunting at those who spoke to him, and throwing Harry a suspicious look every now and then. Harry wasn't usually much better than Ron at six thirty in the morning.

The dawn of the new day had seen Ron's covers being thrown off with a strangely awake Harry Potter going, "GOOD MORNING RON! Wake up! It's SIX O' CLOCK ALREADY!" Said Weasley had then been dragged off to the bathroom and similarly dragged through the halls towards their ultimate goal – breakfast. He also had some toothpaste foam still stuck to his face, he felt grimy from his half-shower (if almost drowning yourself counted), his hair was sticking up in bunches and his robe was on backwards. And was that stubble he felt on his face? Harry, on the other hand, had clear skin, a bright smile, wide eyes, and lacking the bed-ridden look that usually ruffled him considerably in the mornings

Something was up.

"Good MORNING, Hermione!" Harry pulled Ron down into the seat next to him. "Wonderful day today, isn't it?"

Hermione, who had been studying, looked up from an enormous tome. "I suppose so. Good mood today, Harry?"

"Not really!" he twittered. "It's just such a _nice_ morning, don't you think?"

"Mm. Yeah?" She tossed Ron a Look. Who returned it with a Look of his own and gestured to his garb. Hermione gave a tiny nod and turned back to Harry, who was currently stuffing his face none too elegantly.

"So. I guess your walk in the gardens last night really did help you sleep?"

"Yup!"

"I heard a rumor that Pansy and Malfoy were there as well."

Harry paused, before continuing to cram food into his mouth. "Yeah."

"No duel, name calling, hexing, or slaughters of any kind?"

"Mm. No. We had a tiny conversation and then I left."

Hermione and Ron exchanged a meaningful look. "Oh," was all she said. "So…Pansy and Malfoy were there, you three talked a bit, and then you left?"

A slight hesitation, and then, "Not really. I was there, Malfoy came, Pansy came, Pansy left, and I talked with Malfoy and then I left."

"O-oh."

"Mhm."

It still didn't explain anything. And Hermione Granger _always_ got an answer _with_ a full, clear, descriptive explanation. "Nice…Harry, are you feeling alright? You don't have to eat so quickly you know. Breakfast is until eight thirty. You have another two hours." 

Was he on drugs? Good Lord, what if someone really did give him some sort of…after-school special type of…pill? How long had he been taking it? Should she bring him to Madame Pomfrey? She should tell an adult she trusts. Oook, Professor McGonagall, then? Or perhaps the Headmaster? Would they have to send him away for detox? What if he gets back on drugs _after_ the detox? Will it affect his NEWTs? What about his career? His future family life? Will he be destined to be a druggie while his wife is wailing at home, pregnant and trying to feed a dozen hungry children?

And most importantly, were points going to be taken away from Gryffindor?

"Yup! Feeling great. Hey, you know Malfoy and Pansy aren't dating after all? And after their PDA's I'd think they were engaged."

Hermione and Ron exchanged a LOOK. Oh. _Oh._ "Uh, Harry, didn't you know?"

"Know what?" Still blissfully eating his twentieth pancake.

Hermione glared at Ron, who quickly swallowed his mouthful and went, "Well, Harry…didn't you _know_?"

"Know _what_?" The three of them stopped and stared at each other. Ron was trying to broadcast messages to Hermione with his non-existent telepathic skills.

_You tell. No, YOU tell. I'M not telling, YOU tell!_

Hermione glared and slit her finger across her throat as a threat. Ron gulped and turned to Harry. "OK, Harry, I realize that Muggles are different to wizards. But we're also different in…other…ways as well, you know that?"

Harry gave him a strange look. "What do you mean, Ron?" 

It was time to break it to Harry about the wizarding birds and bees. And Ron was the chosen one to do it. "Well, remember I told you once, a long, long time ago, that if wizarding-folk hadn't married Muggles we'd have died out?"

"Yeah, so?"

"And, well, have you ever wondered _why_ we'd have died out otherwise?"

"Was I supposed to know? Crap, was it supposed to be part of the essay for History of Magic? I _knew_ I forgot something!"

"No, it's not that," Ron said, now blushing.

Hermione couldn't stand it any longer. "Goodness, Harry, anyone would think you just found out about our kind. We would have died out because most wizards are gay and bisexual, therefore unable to reproduce in a homosexual relationship, therefore diminishing the wizarding population!" 

"Oh." Harry frowned. "So what does that have to do with Pansy and Malfoy?"

Hermione groaned and fought the urge to hit her head against the table. Ron cleared his throat. "Harry, haven't you seen that ring that Malfoy tends to wear? You know, on a chain round his neck?"

"What, you mean that silvery thing?"

"Yes, his silver ring. So you _have_ seen it before, right?" She was _this_ close to tearing her hair out if he _still_ didn't get it.

"Well of course." Harry rolled his eyes. "It's kinda obvious. Really nice, though, you know?"

Ron made a face. -_- "Haven't you seen Bill with it? Or Fred and George?" 

Harry pondered. "Well," he said slowly. "I saw it, but it never really occurred to me. What does that have to do with…oh. Oh. _Oh_."

"Yes, Harry. Oh." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Took you long enough."

"So…" said Harry, rather speechless. "Malfoy. He…likes boys too?"

Hermione looked heavenward and sighed. Deeply. "Yes, Harry. Malfoy likes boys, too."

"Oh!" Harry's face brightened visibly and he resumed eating his breakfast with even more vigor than before.

"Harry." She and Ron exchanged one last Look. "You wear the ring if you're attached to someone, another boy."

A clatter, and Harry's fork fell to his plate. He looked at her, bewildered, shock evident in his eyes. "Hermione." His voice came out strangled, strange, and did not sound like his own. She was looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have – " He cut her off with a wave of his hand. 

"Ron? Is it true?"

The tips of Ron's ears were turning pink, and he coughed uneasily. "Um. Usually they wear the ring on their right pinkie when they're with someone…I don't even need to tell you what they wear when they're partnered for life, but…I don't know, Harry, he wears it on his neck, maybe he's just trying to tell people that he's…you know…"

"I can't believe it," Harry whispered, and got up to leave the table. His throat seemed to clench up and he was starting to feel the effects of the huge breakfast he ate. He wasn't going to throw up, no, but the sickening, full feeling was enough to make him want to stick two fingers down his throat and be done with it.

Ron turned to Hermione, worried. "I don't get it. What's wrong with Harry?"

Hermione glared at him. "Boys." But the two of them knew to remain where they were and let Harry go.

Harry walked slowly out of the Great Hall, head down, shoulders slumped. As he reached the double door entrance, he saw a pair of shiny black shoes.

"Potter."

That sick feeling came to him anew. Add that to increased heart rate and injection of adrenaline into his blood, and it was enough to make him feel light headed, as if about to collapse.

"Malfoy," he murmured softly, and as he sidestepped to pass, he saw the silver ring, dangling on a chain around Malfoy's neck. 

The other boy only turned to watch him go, an odd light in his silver eyes.

***

Draco was one of those people that sobered up when buzzed or high. Especially drunk. His mind was usually so full of thoughts, so fast, thinking so much – too much – that when he was inebriated and the thoughts were slowed down, did he really sober up. And he was one of those annoying people that _remained_ sober until their very end point, as in the second to last drink before they passed out.

So here he was, sitting cross-legged on his bed, staring up at his canopy, surrounded by bottles of liquor. He didn't finish them all, oh no, but rather drank from all of them, and as the common knowledge is that mixing liquor increases the rate at which one reaches drunkenness, he was, to put it simply, completely smashed. He gathered his bottles close to him, hugging them close as one would hug a favorite stuffed animal. They _were_ his favorite stuffed animals, in a way. They made him forget his troubles, they made him feel happy and _young_, they listened to him talk, and they were just what he needed.

Picking a square bottle, he held the label close to his face. "Vod. _Ka_," he said slowly, slurring slightly. "_Vod_. Ka. Vod-_Ka_. _Vod_-ka. Vodka. _Vodka_." He nodded to himself. "Yup." Twisting the cap, he let the flames pass from the bottle to lick at his lips, his mouth, his throat, and then down in a trail to burn in his stomach. It made him feel warm inside. Like your favorite stuffed animal does. Draco snuggled this particular bottle. "You're my favorite. You burn the hottest inside me." He held the bottle at arm's length, regarding it solemnly. 

"I should get over it, shouldn't I? He'll never like someone like _me. _Hell, he'll never even want to be _friends_ with someone like me. Get over it, and be a Malfoy. He's with that fucking Weasley chick, he's probably fucking her as we speak. It's no use how angry or how mad or how frustrated I get because he's with _her_…"

Another sip of that, plus a mix of tequila, put him completely over the edge and he lost his sobriety and giggled, softly, once, before passing out in a dead faint, words half-formed on his lips, but not spoken yet.

To Be Continued…!


	5. Sadomasochism

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 5: _Sado-masochism

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes: **Thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thanks so much! Heeheehee…Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix (no offense taken!), Lady Malfoy II (maybe…!), someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Little Bunny Fu Fu, and scythefire!!!      

**Oh! **Also, I realize that vodka is colorless, just that I was going to put whisky but it isn't as fun for a drunk Draco to say "Whis-Kee!" than for him to say "Vod-Ka!" I apologize profusely for this HORRIBLE mistake. I was also looking over my previous chapters and realized parts of it don't really make sense. Sorry!!! Hmmm. Must make bigger effort in correcting stuff and beta-ing.

Happy reading! Hope you like this part more than the last one! Ick. Seem to be suffering from a slight writer's block. Thx to BleedingEros for beta-ing!

I apologize (again) for run on sentences…

***

It was, rather, official.

Draco Malfoy was a part-time sadist, part-time masochist. What else could he be with the very existence of Potter? If he wasn't thinking up things that would hurt Potter the most (whether he did it or not was a different matter), then he was thinking of Potter, and that alone was a masochist act in itself. It burned inside of him, burned so deep that not even Draco knew how to stop it, burned so strongly that it gradually swallowed his whole being, consuming his entirety, and – 

Stop. It. _Stop it_. He was doing it again. He was thinking about Potter again, and the dagger already buried in his heart twisted a little more, and his heart bled a little more, and he died a little more as _[he couldn't help it]_ an image of Potter formed before his eyes, smiling, beckoning, waiting. Wanting. Ready. For him. For Draco.

Sleep would be unsuccessful once more. It was a strange, foreign concept to him now, sleep. Ever since the reality of the situation hit him, Draco tossed and turned endlessly every night, thinking about Potter, wondering how he slept (right side left side stomach back mouth open legs arms sprawled?), replaying every encounter they made that day, going over every spoken word, every exchanged glance, every secret study of Potter's profile, Potter's back, Potter's habits, vices, and every little quirky detail about Potter that usually remained hidden like the way he'd finger his wand with his left hand before attempting to Transfigure any object, and it was _only _when he Transfigured. He would rub it with his right thumb right before performing any other spell, but Transfiguration was – ack. _Stop._

Draco tossed and turned endlessly every night thinking about Potter and the Weasley girl (he could not cannot _would not_ call her by her _wretched_ name), thinking about the way her lips would find his, thinking about they way her hands would stroke his, thinking about Potter stroking _her_, thinking about Potter's lips forming sweet words of forever, and then Draco would a frustrated sob and think about not thinking about Potter.

It was as if Fate was playing a cruel joke on him. And laughing loudly while doing it.

The _really_ sadistic part was that Potter completely missed the whole subtlety of the sadistic acts themselves. And the _really _masochistic part was that Draco completely missed the realization that whatever he was doing, it was subtle, it was sadistic, and most of all, if affected Potter tremendously.

He had no idea that it drove Potter _insane_ when Draco accidentally brushed his hand reaching for an ingredient at the Potions cupboard. It _crazed_ him when, during non-contact hours, Draco would strut around school wearing clingy black trousers and a fitting black turtleneck, parading around him the whole damn day. It was simply _maddening_ in an _infuriating_ manner the way Draco's eyes smoldered and his perfect lips curved into a smirk whenever they threw insults at each other.

Potter had no idea that Draco's heart stopped, oh so very painfully, every time the slightest contact was made with his own skin. Potter had no idea that Draco dressed like that all the time and, during the struts, found the ache inside deepening with each glimpse of him. Potter had no idea that Draco's eyes smoldered with desire and the knowledge that acting upon said desire was unthinkable and impossible because of a certain (damned to be sure, in Draco's opinion) Weasley girl.

Potter had no idea that the pain their encounters caused was because of Draco. Similarly, Draco had no idea that the pain _he_ felt was _because_ of unknowing sadistic actions towards Potter which caused _him_ the aforementioned aching in his heart.

Oh, it was all such a huge mess. Fate was sure having a ball.

"Hey, Draco, you awake?"

"What _is_ it, Goyle?" 

A chuckle. "Listen, Vincent just told me a joke, you wanna hear?"

"No. Go away."

"Come _on_, Draco. You're no fun anymore. You used to _like_ joking with us."

"Used to. Now go away."

"Draco…what's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong." Draco sat up and flung his curtains apart. "Now tell me and go away and let me sleep in peace."

Goyle eyed him warily. "OK. So. This masochist goes up to a sadist and goes, 'Hit me' and the sadist goes, 'no'." He grinned expectantly. "Well? What do you think?"

Draco just stared at him.

"OK, OK." Goyle held his hands up defensively. "I'm going back downstairs. You _sure_ you don't want to come to the party? It _is_ Pansy's birthday. And it _is_ only ten o' clock."

Draco stared at him some more before snapping his curtains shut and falling back onto his bed. He could hear the sound of heavy footsteps as Goyle left the room. "Night, Draco."

Gregory Goyle was grinning as he made his way to the Slytherin common room. Vincent Crabbe looked up at him impatiently as he entered. "Well?" he said. 

Goyle grinned. "I was right. He is _so_…well, you know." To say whatever he was going to say was worse than swearing in front of McGonagall, in the eyes of Slytherin. "He'll be bringing out his violin soon, maybe even tonight, you see if he don't."

"Doesn't," corrected Crabbe absently. "How do you know about his violin?"

"I just do. Intuition. Just like you can feel what you paint, and make us feel it when we see it."

"I suppose I get what you mean. Is he going to be OK?"

Goyle nodded. "Sure. Give it a while. He'll make a move soon…see if he don't."

"Doesn't."

"Whatever."

***

Harry was wandering through the school, trying to seek places he had never been before. He was, at present, walking down a corridor that was dim, dusty, and appeared ill-used from neglect over time. There was currently one door to his left. The others had moved, or were pretending to be walls, and Harry couldn't be bothered to search them out. He was looking for a fast, new hiding place ever since his third-floor closet had been discovered. 

He had also decided _never_ to go to the rose gardens again, for very private and very personal reasons, namely that a certain someone may be there with _their_ certain someone as well.

He opened the door slowly, amazed that something so old and rusted could still open noiselessly. And when Harry looked in, he felt as if it was too large a coincidence for it to be real. Malfoy was in the room, most obviously. Though he tried to tell himself to just calm the _fuck_ down and _stop blushing_, he nevertheless felt his throat close momentarily and his face heat up immediately, but simmer down again just as quickly. The door was silent as Harry inched in and shut it behind him.

Harry was facing Malfoy's right, and he could see that Malfoy was holding a violin. A gentle hand held the bow lovingly, moving it in smooth, soothing strokes, the magnificent instrument tucked tenderly under his chin. Long, slim fingers were spread on the fingerboard, and they moved slightly as the sound of a rich, warm vibrato filled the room. Malfoy had his eyes closed, and Harry could see the outline of his lashes through the bright moon (was it brighter tonight, or were his pupils dilated?), curving upwards softly like a feather, and the sweep of his brow, and the arch of his cheekbones against the moonlight pouring in through the large window, and the sleek waterfall of silvery hair flowing past his shoulders, one single stray lock falling into his face. 

But it was the expression on Malfoy's face that made Harry's heart leap almost as soon as he forced himself to calm down. Harry, were he the most eloquent person in the universe, would not be able to put it into mere words at that moment. To do so would be tainting the dear, sweet perfection he was facing right then; it felt, to Harry, dangerously close to blasphemy to try doing so. Just the look of pure bliss, of the unadulterated ecstasy, of the simple passion that Harry knew glowed from the depths of Malfoy's soul made Harry want to sigh in pain and pleasure – pleasure from the music, from Malfoy so close to him, from the whole situation, and pain from the music, from Malfoy so far away, from the whole situation. __

Whatever Malfoy was playing, Harry liked it. A lot. Perhaps because it suited Malfoy, suited the whole atmosphere of the room, suited whatever Harry was feeling right now as _[oh dear God, when did I start?!]_ he just stood there, Invisibility Cloak as his cover of darkness, heart beating so hard and fast that he could feel the pulsation in his fingers, neck, toes, head…and in his nether regions of which Harry would not like to admit. All because of Malfoy and his goddamn violin.

_by the time you realize you're already deep in the middle of it and there's no cure you'll just have to drown or burn or fly fly fly high into the sky and be loved and be cherished and be sacred but that's not the path you are free to walk that's not the path you can choose that's the path that they must choose for you all these escapes from the middle of it are not chosen by you but by them they choose because you are not yours anymore and every action you do is dictated by them because oh dear God you love them just SO MUCH_

Harry must have gasped, or breathed a strangled breath, or moaned _sotto voce_ because Malfoy's fingers froze, his right hand stopped its movement, and the soft line of his jaw hardened as he removed the violin from under his chin and faced the room, eyes darting, mouth set in a thin line, brow furrowed, hands clenched around the violin and bow, only moments ago held so affectionately. He couldn't stand it – perhaps this was also part of the Gryffindor bravery, but Harry felt the urge to throw his cloak off, and so he did.

Malfoy blanched as Harry swept his cloak off. "Malfoy," he said.

And after a long pause in which Malfoy stared at him, he replied, "Potter."

To Be Continued…!

P.S. The horrible sadist/masochist joke was told to me by my SAT teacher…


	6. Decadent

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 6: _Decadent

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes: **Thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thanks so much! Heeheehee…Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, and Mistic!!!

I _would_ hurry the story along if I could…but it doesn't seem to want to…

**AND I WENT TO SUMMER SCHOOL IN ENGLAND FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY FOR THE DELAY!**

***

_Malfoy blanched as Harry swept his cloak off. "Malfoy," he said._

_And after a long pause in which Malfoy stared at him, he replied, "Potter."_

***

There was a pause before Potter spoke again, long, dark lashes over his eyes, which were lowered to the floor around Draco's feet. "What were you playing?"

Draco scowled. "The violin."

Potter nodded. "I know. But what was the piece?"

"Just a little something. Part of a concerto for the violin."

"Who was it by?"

"Mendelssohn." Draco watched as a brief frown of confusion blinked across Potter's features. Obviously, he was not a patron of the arts, nor did he even have basic knowledge of them. 

Another pause. Potter's lashes fluttered up and shockingly green eyes flashed at him briefly before they fluttered back down and covered those simply _scandalous_ eyes once more. "It was beautiful."

Draco was surprised. Baffled. Speechless. Stunned. Astonished. Completely and utterly bowled over. Had he not been biting the inside of his cheek nervously, his jaw would have dropped open. As it was, he just felt his heart stop in the now familiar manner when he caught a glimpse of the famous Potter Green Eyes that seemed to _glow_ from the moon.

This time, there was an understandably long pause. "Mm," was the noncommittal answer. Draco was vaguely aware that he was staring at Potter, and averted his eyes to a lone patch of moonlight on the floor. He could see his shadow in it, could see the long thin blackness stretch along the stone floor and just about reach the end of Potter's robes. He could see the moonlight glittering off Potter's eyes as they traveled along the floor. And he could see the way Potter's skin seemed to glow with moonshine and the way his own shadow seemed to be an extension of himself, trying to reach out and touch the light of the brightest star in the sky that was Harry Potter.

Draco looked up from his shadow and the hem of Potter's robes to find a strangely lit pair of Green Eyes looking straight into his own. _Stop. Looking. At. Me. Like. That. _And then a plethora of little voices, all his own, filled his head, talking endlessly. The like of it had never happened before, and Draco couldn't keep the little strand of astonishment from floating across his eyes, his face otherwise remaining expressionless as always.

_don't look at me like that please stop I can't stand it when you give me THAT LOOK like you want me like you want to grab me and kiss me so hard I won't be able to resist or fight back against you or push you off and just have to stand there and be kissed by you so - _

_don't look at me like that don't look at me like you want to throw me onto a bed and do naughty wonderful things to me with your fingers and hands and tongue and mouth and your… please please please I can't stand this I - _

_don't know how to take it when you look at me like you want to kiss me under the stars surrounded by roses – I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO! – and kiss me so gently with petal lips and kiss so tenderly that I will give up my soul for more kisses like these_

Draco stared back at Potter blankly, barely even blinking. He couldn't remember how long they stood here, just staring, but he finally broke the silence and snapped, "What are you staring at, Potter?"

Potter blinked, heavy black lashes going down and up, twice, quickly. "Just wondering when you learnt to play the violin. And I didn't know Hogwarts had a music room."

"Rooms, Potter. Plural," Draco corrected. "There are four in total, all along this corridor."

"Really," Potter mused. "I never really noticed. So when did you pick up the violin? Wouldn't think you have much of an ear for it, you know."

Draco glowered. That was very obviously an insult. "I happen to have a very good ear for the violin, Potter, unlike you, of whom I am sure wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a violin and tuba if they jumped up and bit you in the ass."

Potter bristled visibly, but made no answer, forcing out his next sentence instead. "So? When did you start?"

"Before I turned three, Potter. I happen to have a gift in this area."

"Sure. Whatever you say," Potter said, rolling his eyes.

"For your information, Potter, I am a professional. A maestro, even."

What the FUCK was he saying?! Oh God, oh God, oh God. Draco began to panic.

Potter raised his eyebrows slightly. "Oh?" And that was it. Draco relaxed visibly. 

"Yes. And it would be preferable if you would just leave, now."

Potter's damned Green Eyes (and YES they deserve capitals, nodded Draco's inner voice) were most definitely deplorable and decadent and all things that an innocent Boy Who Lived should _not _be when they now fixed onto Draco's own, unknowingly causing a severe increase in blood pressure, which would be fatal if it rose any higher. 

"Could I stay and listen to you? Please?" The corners of those delectable lips were turned up slightly, hopefully.

Draco's heart seized and his brain seemed to have become a puddle of grey muddy liquid in his cranium, mouth opening and speaking before he could stop himself. "No."

"Oh. Um." Potter looked down at his feet and shuffled, rustling his Invisibility Cloak. "Well. Um. I, ah. Um." He shuffled around again, head still down and turned slightly to his right so Draco could see the red in his cheek. He seemed to look up, but bent his head down once more. "I guess I should go, then." A hand reached up to run through black hair that didn't reflect any of the moonlight shining in, but rather seemed to soak itself in it.

At this point in time, Draco had no idea how hard he was clutching his violin, but later he remembered that the morning after saw imprints of the four strings on the joints of his fingers where he had been gripping the fingerboard. 

He held on even tighter as Potter turned and reached out, pulling the door open noiselessly, movements slow, lethargic. "Wait." 

Potter spun around, eyes wide. "Yes?" he asked eagerly.

Draco scowled. "If you really want to hear me play that badly, then you have my permission. But for only one song." Nervously, his right hand, the hand holding his bow, went to his neck to play with his silver ring.

"Only one?" Was that disappointment Draco saw? Or was he merely seeing what he was hoping for? He watched Potter's eyes flicker to his ring and back to meet his own.

"Yes."

"Alright," was the quick answer.

After a slight moment's hesitation, Draco tucked his violin under his chin once more, looking away from Potter and standing in the same position as he was before being interrupted. He gave Potter a sideways glare. "And stop looking at me like that."

A slow smile curled around Potter's lips. "Why?"

"I don't like people watching me when I play. Stop that." 

Potter shrugged and looked down at his feet once more, a definite grin hidden under a shock of wild hair, but jerked his head up to stare unabashedly at Draco as the first note echoed around the room.

***

Harry's head hurt like hell. The quiet hum at the breakfast tables now felt like a thousand tiny hammers striking at his head all at once, in continuity with the pulsing blood that he could feel in his head, his fingers, his toes, everywhere.

His eyes felt dry and achy, and each blink was like dragging sandpaper across his delicate corneas. The bright morning sun seemed all too garish now, and caused him to squint behind his glasses, wishing somehow he was allowed to wear sunglasses.

His skin seemed dirty and grubby, even after a morning shower, and his mouth was dry, even after downing four glasses of pumpkin juice. The simple act of picking up knife and fork had never seemed so straining a task before.

He had never felt better in his entire life.

Though heavy-lidded and ringed in black from want of sleep, his eyes were twinkling brightly, and the tired expression on his face was overshadowed by his happy smile. 

Harry couldn't resist, and lifted his eyes so that they looked through the Hufflepuffs, and straight into Draco Malfoy's seat. For some reason, Malfoy didn't even look tired, but was as composed and alert as always, ready to draw his wand at any second.

And his heart beat faster and his smile grew a little brighter and his eyes widened more and he couldn't help but blush and duck his head down to his plate as Malfoy's eyes latched onto his and a tiny semblance of a smile curved Malfoy's perfect pink lips.

TBC!!!! I'm working on C7 already! Should be here soon (I hope!)


	7. Trouble

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 7: _Trouble

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes:  **Much thanks to J for beta-ing! Welcome back, dude! Thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen – _thank you for your very kind review!_, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, and Hoshiko-Malfoy – _thank you for your review, too! Nice to know people are reading_!!!

And in answer to your question, ILLK, of what Harry was thinking when he heard about the ring, it was that "Malfoy is attached to another boy!" even though Ron says that the ring is usually worn on the right pinkie and not on a chain around the neck. I think that by then, he's not really absorbing what everyone else is saying, and is just heartbroken and thinking over and over, "Malfoy is with another boy," etc, etc, etc…anyway, westward, ho! And please ask if you have any more questions…!

**This continues on from the last chapter. If there is any confusion about the timing of this chapter, please email me at the address specified in my profile. Thank you!**

***

The next night saw Draco in the same room, standing, holding his violin in the rest position, in the same position as the night before, only that his gaze was at the window and the scene outside. That was how Potter found him, slipping in as silently as before, and dropping his Invisibility Cloak. Draco heard the sound of silk rushing towards the floor, and, without turning, said, "Good night once more, Potter. Back again for an encore?"

Potter nodded resolutely. "Yes."

***

Harry entered the room, removing his Invisibility Cloak once he was safely inside. Malfoy was sitting down tonight, back against the wall, facing the door, violin cradled in his arms as he plucked the strings. 

"Well, hello, Potter," he said, without looking up. "What will it be tonight?"

"Whatever you want it to be, Malfoy." 

Malfoy looked up inquisitively.

"Whatever you want it to be."

***

"You know, I never knew that," Draco said, astonished. His violin was on the window sill that was really a seat because it was so roomy. 

"Not much people do," said Potter, shrugging. "I guess they just don't really like to think that their wonderful Harry Potter would be living like that. Or maybe they can't imagine that their golden boy would"

"Really? Well, when I was young, I used to imagine you living a horrible life because I hated you so much."

Potter looked at him with large, luminous eyes that seemed to consume the whole room, swallowing Draco in their entirety. "And do you still imagine a horrible life for me now?"

Draco only stared back.

***

"So I blamed Dobby for it – and my father actually believed me! Honestly, though, no house elf would be bold enough to even _think_ of such a thing, much less _do_ it. I simply can't imagine why my father fell for it."

Harry couldn't answer – he was laughing too hard, sprawled onto his back, clutching his stomach, streams of tears flowing down his cheeks, which already hurt from laughing too long.

Malfoy scowled at first, but couldn't hold the expression and instead pounced to kneel over Harry, knees on either side of him, and pushed down on Harry's shoulders to prevent him from wriggling around so much. Malfoy smirked. "What are you laughing at, Potter?"

Harry's laughter stopped rather abruptly at the sight he met when he finally forced his eyes open. Wiping them hastily, he grinned somewhat lopsidedly. "You."

Malfoy sat down on his stomach, hard. "I was only four, Potter!"

Harry's grin grew. "I know. I was laughing even harder trying to imagine what you looked like back then."

Malfoy growled, and tackled.

***

"What do you think of love, Malfoy?"

Malfoy gave him a strange look with those weird silver eyes of his glinting dangerously. "What sort of question is that, Potter?"

"I don't know. I was just wondering."

The two of them were sitting on the window sill, facing each other, looking out into the night sky above. "What about you, Potter?"

"I asked you first." Harry seemed timid all of a sudden. "Malfoy, do you believe in love at all?"

"I don't know. I guess not, not really."

"Oh." Somehow, Harry felt rather disappointed. "I do."

"Really?" Malfoy looked at him again, the same strange look in his eyes. 

"I do. I believe in love. True love, love that is everlasting. Real, pure love. I believe in it. And I believe that everyone is blessed with it."

"Everyone, Potter?"

"Yes," Harry said, firmly. "Everyone."

"Everyone including me, Potter?"

"Everyone."

***

"Is that why you wear it?" Potter whispered.

Draco nodded solemnly. "I mean, it's no big deal here. Of course, I don't think Muggles have any idea what it means, and I couldn't care less about them, either, so it all works out."

"Oh," Potter whispered again. "But you don't have a boyfriend now?"

"No, but I have my eye on someone." Draco turned his head and stared at the opposite wall. 

"Really?"

"Yes, Potter, and would you stop whispering? No one's going to hear us anyway."

"Well," he said in his normal voice, "I was just being careful. Anyway, who is he?"

"What do you mean, who is he?" 

"You're blushing, Malfoy!"

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!" Draco swiveled round to glare at Potter defiantly. 

Potter shut up and leaned back, eyes fixed on Draco's face, making him feel decidedly uncomfortable. "Well, since you told me that…I'll tell you something, too."

Draco sat back as well, relaxing his posture. "What?"

There was a hesitant pause before Potter spoke. "Well. Me too, I guess."

Draco went to bed that night, head full of Potter as he drifted off to sleep. 

---

He was being kissed. He was being kissed by the most delicious, luscious lips ever to grace Earth. He could feel them moving against his, the tip of a tongue licking occasionally, shooting electric tingles through his entire body. He opened his mouth to the sweet ministrations and hesitantly touched the tip of his tongue to the other. This ensued a deep, trembling groan from the other, and Draco felt a warm weigh on him as two hands clutched at his arms and he was body-tackled, falling backwards onto a soft bed. 

"Do you know what you do to me?" came a husky whisper.

Draco couldn't resist smiling. "That is _such_ a cheesy line," he opened his eyes, "Potter." 

Potter laughed and Draco could _feel_ the laugh in the body on top of his. "I know. But I just had to say it." He buried his face into Draco's shoulder, voice dropping back to its low whisper. "You turn me on so much. Can you feel it? Can you feel how much I love you?" Potter let his full weight fall flush onto Draco, moving his hips just slightly, just slightly enough to make Draco shiver.

A heated blush flamed Draco's cheeks. A tiny "Oh!" of surprise escaped his lips, and his blush deepened. It seemed to be a signal of some sort, as Potter kissed his earlobe softly, licking and pulling, teeth barely scraping sensitive skin. Unable to resist, Draco wrapped his arms around Potter, holding him closely.

_more_

He wanted – no, he _needed_ more. He needed more of this closeness, more of this heat, more of this raw, naked passion. He shifted under Potter, accidentally pushing up at him with his hips, eliciting a deep moan from Potter, who rocked back, unembarrassed, unashamed, and who kept on rocking and moving back and forth, gently, until Draco couldn't take it anymore, he was going to burst, and he felt his muscles tighten, and small whimpers were forcing themselves out, and then and then and then and then 

_oh oh oh oh oh_

---

Draco woke up. 

"Fuck."

***

Draco was in the same room once more, and at the same time, but his violin was on the floor in a dark corner, silent and invisible. It did not bring him salvation tonight. He sat on the large, roomy windowsill, leaning onto the closed window. A single piece of parchment drifted from his shaking fingers, floating gently to the floor, words still facing up, staring at him mockingly, angrily, sneering up at him from where they lay.

He turned his head away and closed his eyes as he felt two hot tears trail down his cheeks. His defiance was worth nothing, was for nothing, and came to nothing. No use, no use. It was all no use. Nothing would save him now, not even the illustrious Dumbledore, or the golden Boy Who Lived. Draco buried his head in his arms, tucking his knees in close to his chest, and thought about Voldemort's sick desire for him, thought about his father's willingness to sell him, thought about the weakness of his mother and thought about The End Of It All.

He didn't notice the door that opened and shut swiftly, silently, or the soft breathing that came afterward. He was too busy rocking back and forth, holding himself tight, humming a favorite song of his in a broken voice to try and calm himself.

---

Harry entered the music room, excited and exhilarated, wanting more of the quiet closeness he had for the past six nights stemming from the one where he dared to reveal himself in the music room. Instead, he found Malfoy curled into a tiny ball on the windowsill, swaying unsteadily, cradling himself in his own arms. Bits of a song wandered over to Harry's ears, but they were sung by a voice so cracked that he could not distinguish a tune.

Harry pulled off his Invisibility Cloak. "Malfoy?" he whispered. 

There was no answer, nor was there a change in movement of the other boy that indicated he even knew Harry was there.

"Malfoy?" he said again, louder.

Malfoy unfolded his head from his arms, eyes narrowed, lips and cheeks a deadly shade of white. "Potter," he said hoarsely, tersely. "You're here."

Harry took a step forward, letting his Cloak slip from his fingers onto the cold stone floor. "Of course. I came to see you, Malfoy."

Malfoy gave a short laugh. "Ha." The clouds outside shifted and a shaft of pearly moonlight struck Malfoy's face, drawing deep shadows and highlighting the tear tracks on his cheeks. "I'm not really in mood for music and chatting tonight, Potter."

Harry took another step. "That's alright, Malfoy. I'll just stay here with you." And he sat down on the floor, right beneath Malfoy's window seat, knees curled up just like the other boy's. 

They were silent, as Malfoy watched the stars outside, and as Harry watched the boy above him. Suddenly aware that he had been staring for too long, Harry frowned slightly and looked away, staring at the violin in the corner, wondering why it had been banished from Malfoy's little world by the window. He caught sight of a piece of parchment on the floor next to his left foot; clearly, it was a letter, hidden in the shadows.

Malfoy looked down at him. "It's alright, Potter. Just read the letter. It will explain everything. And it will save me the trouble of having to explain it to you myself." 

Harry frowned. "Malfoy, your voice…"

"Just a bit of a sore throat, Potter. If you're not going to read it, then just sit, or leave."

"No, I'm reading it." Harry snatched the parchment off the floor and scanned his eyes over it before reading it carefully once more, just to make sure he didn't miss any of it.       

_Draco,_

_You will be coming home for the Christmas break, I assume? Your mother and I_

_will be waiting for you at the platform; I have some free time to spend. Did you_

_receive mother's gift for this week yet? If you have, you must remember that_

_the box of sweets should be shared. Sharing is very important. I know you like_

_dark chocolate, so I sent you two boxes. One of them has a very small pink _

_mark; it is dark chocolate filled with wine. I know that those are your favorite._

_On the doily covering the wine chocolate is mother's letter. It is regarding your _

_Christmas-Eve birthday, we have something very special planned for you. _

_Don't forget mother's Christmas gift this time, try not to be lazy again and not_

_bother getting her anything. You know she will give you grief if so. It is no use _

_resisting, or she WILL have Jacques redecorate your room in red and gold._

_Our house elf Pupai has been sent away. She dared to embarrass me in front of _

_Lord Nemberfaul. Do you remember him? He visited seven years ago, and he_

_has already promised attend your seventeenth birthday. Mother has already_

_ordered decorations and preparations for the ball, and the cake's design has_

_already been decided._

_Must go now, so see you soon._

_Your father,_

_Lucius Malfoy_

"Um, Malfoy?" Harry looked up at Malfoy questioningly. "The letter…"

"Did you read it, Potter? Did you read it carefully, word for word?" Malfoy was looking up at the sky again. 

"Yes, but –"

"Now read it again. And only read the first word on each line. Read it aloud to yourself, to tell yourself that the message is real, that it is real and that it is meant for me."

Harry read over the letter again, mouthing the words to himself one at a time.

_Draco,_

_You _

_will_

_receive_

_the_

_dark_

_mark_

_on_

_Christmas-Eve_

_Don't_

_bother_

_resisting_

_Our_

_Lord_

_has_

_ordered_

_already_

Harry bounced up from his seat. "Malfoy!"

"Do you get it now, Potter?"

"Yes, Malfoy, but –"

_but what it says couldn't possibly be true_

"It's final, Potter. When Voldemort says it, it's final. Whatever my father wanted of me I could defy, I could disobey, but when it comes to Voldemort…" Malfoy trailed off, and Harry wanted to know what he was thinking just then.

"Why don't you go to Dumbledore? He'll think of something, _something, _I know he will." 

I know he won't let me down he won't let you down he won't let me lose you not now not ever

"Dumbledore? I think not. He won't be able to do a thing. Probably tell me I'm just going to have to be a casualty of war." Malfoy's tone was cynical, and he hadn't moved from his seat, nor had he turned away from the window.

"Malfoy…" Harry trailed off. What was he supposed to say?

"Forget it, Potter. Forget me as well. Forget me, and hope that I stay forgotten when we have to face off in the final battle." 

"Malfoy," Harry said again, softly. "Malfoy, I won't lose you. I won't let them take you. I won't."

Malfoy finally looked away from the window, turning instead to Harry. "Oh?"

Harry nodded firmly. "I won't let anything happen to you."

To Be Continued!!!!


	8. Beg

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 8: _Beg

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes:  **Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair, AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv (heehee!), K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, and chrisseee67!!!

**I JUST REALIZED THAT I MISSED A LOT OF REVIEWERS THE LAST TIME I CHECKED…EEEEEE…SO I'M THANKING SOME PEOPLE HERE THAT I SHOULD HAVE THANKED A WHILE AGO…SORRY!!!!!!!!!!**

Oh, and as to how Malfoy managed to squeeze in the time to become a master violinist…well…you'll see :)!!!!

***

_run_

Dumbledore. Dumbledore! Dumbledore, where are you?!

_run angel, run_

I need help, I need it, I need it now more than ever before, I just know it!

_run away, my angel, run_

Faster, faster, must run faster. Oh, why do the music rooms have to be so far away from Dumbledore's office?

_Draco…Draco, my angel, run, run away before they catch you_

Can't. No. Gods. Must. Now. Dumbledore. 

Harry turned a corner and ran straight into a hard body, bouncing off and stumbling backwards. "Oh, fuk…hello, Professor Snape."

Snape glared. "Potter. Ten points for running in the corridors."

Harry glared back before thinking – _Snape! Snape, Draco is…Snape!_ Trying to sound as least hostile as possible, Harry took a deep breath and said, "Professor, I need your help. It's something to do with Draco Malfoy."

Snape sighed impatiently. "Potter, I have no intention of involving myself in this little feud between you and Mr. Malfoy. Would you please do us all a favor and grow up a little? You are a member of the seventh form now, and should be capable of acting like one."

Gritting his teeth, Harry shook his head. "No Professor, you don't understand. Malfoy received a…a letter from his father." He stared meaningfully into Snape's black eyes. "A _letter_, Professor, from his _father_."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "And…where is Mr. Malfoy now?"

"He went back to his dormitory, Professor. I walked him there myself."

Snape's other brow shot up as well. "Oh, did you?" There was a pause as Harry nodded. "Well then. I am assuming that you are heading towards the Headmaster's office?" Harry nodded again. "Very well. Go. The password is Fizzy Wizzy Twizzies."

Harry ran off down the corridor, as Snape strode away just as hurriedly in the opposite direction. His sides were beginning to hurt from running so quickly through the enormous castle, but he urged himself on, forcing himself to breath in rhythmically as his legs began to drag and leaden. It seemed forever before he reached the gargoyle, but he did, and went up the stairs as fast as he could, he could not run any longer. He paused to knock on the door, and rushed in when he heard Dumbledore's voice saying, "Come in, Harry."

Dumbledore eyed Harry as he entered, gasping, face red with exertion, robes a mess. "Do take a seat, Harry, and regain your breath first. We are in no rush."

Harry shook his head, panting. "No, sir." _gasp wheeze_ "Not much time. At. All."

Dumbledore nodded from behind his desk. "Perhaps a cup of tea?" In a blink, there was a steaming cup of tea floating before Harry.

Nodding, Harry reached out and swallowed the entire contents in one gulp. "Headmaster," he said again, still out of breath, but able to talk. "It's Draco Malfoy. He. He received a letter. From his father. And…and…" He drifted off, not knowing what to say.

"Ah. I understand. I have been expecting this for a while." Dumbledore stroked his beard. "And. Has Mr. Malfoy told you of the contents of the letter?"

Harry's red face reddened a bit more. "I read it, sir. But with his permission," he added quickly.

"But of course." A pause. "And when is this…event scheduled to occur?"

"Christmas Eve, sir." Harry looked at Dumbledore plaintively. "On his birthday."

"I see." Another pause.

"I saw Professor Snape on my way here, sir," Harry offered. "I told him that Malfoy received a letter from his father, and he's gone to the dungeons."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, of course. But as to the event…Harry, I may need you to make a very difficult decision soon, but as for now, I think that you should try to provide Mr. Malfoy with as much support as is possible." He gave Harry a Look. "I am assuming that the two of you have reconciled your differences as of late?"

Harry blushed again. "Yes, I – I guess we have."

Smiling, Dumbledore nodded. "Good. Very good. Why don't you go to him now, Harry, and send Professor Snape to me?"

"But sir, he's in the Slytherin dormitories. I can't get in. I'm not allowed."

Continuing on as if Harry hadn't spoken, Dumbledore said, "Perhaps you should stop in your room and pick up some small amusement for Mr. Malfoy. Perhaps some hot chocolate. I assume you have been using the Prefect's private entrances to your room? No more going through the common room – I imagine it must be much more convenient for you."

_WHAT *PRIVATE* ENTRANCE TO…_

_Oh._

"Um. Yes. Of course, sir. I think. That. That, er, is a very good idea. Something to cheer him up." Harry nodded emphatically. "I'll be off now. Thank you, Headmaster."

Dumbledore smiled and winked as Harry gave a nod and almost ran from the room.

Off went Harry, running through the halls once more, dodging people, skidding around corners, jumping up and down the stairs two at a time, all the while mumbling to himself, "Private entrance, I should have remembered, Prefect's private entrances, GOD I should have remembered…"

He ran and ran, back to his room, throwing his trunk open and tossing out its contents until his fingers closed around the desired object before he ran again, deeper and deeper into Hogwarts, until he reached the dry, cold dungeons, deeper than the Potions classroom, where students dare not enter and only Slytherins walked, coming and going without being seen. Unfolding the Marauder's Map, he whispered the words, tapping his wand to the sheet, and watched impatiently as lines of black ink unfurled and folded into the map. Draco, Draco, Draco…there! There he was, in his private room, which was only…about three yards down this corridor, and first statue on the right. 

Harry was still out of breath as he wiped the parchment clean and tucked it safely away into his robes, chest heaving, drawing in deep breaths as he tried to steady himself and walk towards Draco's room. He reached it, finally, and spoke the Prefects' password to the statue, which moved aside with a piece of the wall, revealing a long, dark corridor. Taking a deep breath, Harry stepped in, feeling goosebumps rise on his arms as the stone wall slid back into place behind him.

***

A red, blinking light caught Draco's attention.

"Someone is entering," he said to Snape, who had his back turned to the flashing. "Must be either a Prefect or a Professor."

Snape mumbled something unintelligibly and Draco squinted in confusion. "I beg your pardon, sir?"

"Nothing, Draco. I expect that the Headmaster has sent for me." At that moment, Harry Potter ran into the room, and Draco gaped briefly before turning away. 

"Malfoy!" gasped Potter, making a beeline for him.

Snape stepped in his way. "Potter. I expect you have been to the Headmaster?"

Potter's green eyes were most certainly forced away from Draco's figure to give Snape a quizzical look before an obvious flash of recollection caught up with him. Draco could practically hear the light bulb clicking on. "Oh! Yes, um, he requests your presence as soon as possible."

Snape nodded. "Very well." He turned slightly to Draco, who was still standing stiffly, back to the two of them. "Draco, I'm going to the Headmaster's now. You know where to find me if you receive any more…tidbits." With that, he stalked out of the room, robes billowing in Classic Snape fashion.

Once Snape exited the room completely, Potter turned to Draco again. "Malfoy!" 

"Go away, Potter," he said, curling his hands into fists. Fuck, they were trembling again. Or were they trembling still, having never stopped since the moment he received his letter?

"Malfoy," Potter said, gently, taking a step forward, hand reached out. 

Draco frowned and walked forward a few steps, putting more distance between him and Potter. "I mean it, Potter. I am in no state to receive any guests, nor do I have any wish to be pitied."

"Malfoy." Another step.

_stop saying my name like that_

"I mean it, Potter," Draco continued, voice wavering as well. "Leave. Go, now, before I _Avada Kedavra_ you."

"Malfoy." Still so softly, still so gently.

Silence. Silence, where Draco stood, frozen, fists shaking, eyes squeezed shut, head down, not wanting to look up. Silence, where Draco could feel Potter's slow steps towards him, where Draco could feel Potter reaching out for him.

Silence. Silence, until Potter's hand rested gently on Draco's shoulder, and Draco could feel Potter's hot breath on his neck as he whispered, "Malfoy."

Trying desperately to regain control over himself, Draco whispered back, fiercely, "Go away, Potter."

"No," said Potter, voice rumbling in soft tones. "No, Malfoy, you need someone right now."

Draco stayed silent. Potter fell silent. And the two of them remained silent until Potter inched closer to Draco, so close that Draco could feel the heat radiating off Potter's body as arms curled around his middle and pulled him in close.

Then, Draco tipped his head back to rest on Potter's shoulder as Potter tipped his head forward to do the same, and two slow tracks of tears escaped Draco's closed eyes.

To Be Continued!!!!!!!!!


	9. Slumber

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 9: _Slumber

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes:  **Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair, AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv (heehee!), K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, chrisseee67, Rosetta, deadredsocks, JadeDragon, and Chiaki Dark!!! **Thank you very very much for your reviews :)**

***

Snape was pacing.

Dumbledore watched him, half-amused, half-contemplating the situation they were in. 

After ten minutes of silence and non-stop pacing, Snape whirled and strode to Dumbledore's desk, slamming his palms onto the surface. "We must think of a way to prevent this!" 

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, Severus. We must. But we must consider what is to be done, how it is to be done, and who will be sent to do it." There was a speculative pause. "Severus, have you thought about adding another spy to our network?"

Snape immediately knew what Dumbledore was trying to say. "No!" he roared. "Do you know what you are saying, Headmaster?! I will _not_ have a student of mine sentenced to become Death Eater. Let me be the only one to suffer, and spare the children from the evil we call the Dark Lord." He paused, somewhat embarrassed by his outburst, and continued, lowering his voice. "Headmaster. You must consider this very carefully. Draco Malfoy has the potential to become a great wizard –"

"Perhaps even greater than myself," mused Dumbledore.

"Stop fishing for compliments, Headmaster," scowled Snape. "You know that the chance of that is highly unlikely. Even the little scoundrel Potter has little chance of surpassing you in terms of magical ability."

"Oh, do stop flattering me, Severus," said Dumbledore, smiling. "You're making me blush." Snape rolled his eyes. "Do continue."

Clearing his throat, Snape did so. "As I was saying, Headmaster, Draco Malfoy would clearly be an asset to either side, should he decide to choose one…an asset that we cannot afford to lose, and one that the Dark Lord needs."

"Needs, Severus? Does Voldemort _need_ anyone or anything?"

Flinching at the name of his master, Snape crossed his arms. "He relied on Wormtail and other Death Eaters to hide him when he was weak and fragile. Now, of course, he does not _need_ anyone because he has regained his powers." Snape tried unsuccessfully to suppress a shudder. "Like I said, Headmaster, Draco Malfoy would be an asset to us, as he would be an asset to the Dark Lord. If we can somehow convince him and Potter –" Snape scowled – "to cooperate, then we would have a force that even the Dark Lord would be loathe to encounter in a battle situation."

Dumbledore nodded sagely, stroking his beard. "Yes. Yes, Severus, you're right. We should not just give up Draco to Voldemort so easily. But we should also think of Harry. You know now that this matter concerns him as well."

"What do you mean by that? How does this concern _Potter_?" Snape was incredulous.

"Well, I've been thinking about this, and Harry could come to make or break this…especially with his new…development in his…situation with Mr. Malfoy. May I ask…does Harry appear much altered when he is around Draco?"

Snape sniffed disdainfully. "Completely ignoring my presence and heading straight for him, you mean?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he smiled. "Excellent." His smile was gone, replaced with a neutral look. "However, the decision that Harry must make on this matter is…well, I just hope that –"

"Do you have a plan already?"

"A plan?" Dumbledore blinked as if surprised. "Well, yes, I do, I suppose. Not a perfectly formed plan, as of yet, but I have some idea what to do."

Snape sighed, somewhat relieved slightly, though the problem had not been given a solution yet. Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, a plan would be just the thing." He pressed a button on his desk. "Minerva, would you please come to my office?"

"Right away, Albus," came Professor McGonagall's voice. A minute later, the witch was knocking on the door.

"Do come in, Minerva," said Dumbledore, smiling pleasantly. 

The meeting of the Inner Circle had begun.

***

How long had they been standing there, unmoving? How long had they been standing, not saying a word, Harry still holding Malfoy tight, as if he was something too precious for him to ever let go? How long had they been standing, time frozen, gone in a world that only consisted of Harry and Malfoy?

He could feel warm tears slide onto his skin, and he could feel cold wet patches on his robes and neck, but he still didn't move, still didn't remove his chin being tucked over Malfoy's shoulder, still didn't open his eyes, just concentrating on breathing slowly, on the warmth of the body he held so dear to his, on Malfoy.

Finally, the tears stopped, and Harry stood for a while longer, not willing to let go just yet. He lifted his head slightly, rubbing cheeks with Malfoy. _Such soft skin should be illegal, especially on a seventeen-year old Malfoy. Or on an almost seventeen-year old Malfoy._

"I'm fine, Potter." Malfoy lifted his head. Harry instantly missed the warm weight on his shoulder and the delicious feel of scandalously smooth skin against his cheek, even more refined and delicate than the softest of silks. And what a hideously improper time for him to be thinking such thoughts…

Harry squeezed tighter. "It's late, Malfoy." He caught sight of a clock on the mantelpiece. "It's almost two in the morning. We have classes tomorrow at nine, even if we skip breakfast."

Malfoy tensed in Harry's arms. "We, Potter?"

"Yes, we," said Harry in a very matter-of-fact manner. He tensed himself, ready to argue with Malfoy.

Instead, he felt the man – boy, really – relax, and say, "Alright then."

They stood like that for a little while, Harry still holding Malfoy from behind, before speaking again. "Malfoy, I think we should get some rest. You need it."

"You seem to need it more," retorted Malfoy, as a huge yawn rendered Harry speechless. "But alright, I'll go lay down." He broke away from Harry and walked tiredly to the edge of his bed. Pulling up his comforter, about to get in, Malfoy hesitated and looked at Harry. "Will you…?" he began.

Harry's heart began thundering at an alarming pace. "Yes?" he squeaked. He cleared his throat, blushing slightly. "I mean, yes?"

"Will you…" Malfoy ducked his head down and Harry _swore_ that the tips of Malfoy's ears had turned pink, or was that just his imagination?

"Yes?" he asked again, a bit too eagerly.

"Potter, I know this is asking a lot, but. Would you mind. If, you know." Malfoy tugged on the comforter a bit more.

Harry fought back a smile. "Would you like me to tuck you in, Malfoy?"

Malfoy looked away again, but said nothing. Instead, he began undoing the clasp on his school robes. Harry moved closer, biting down hard on his lower lip, until he was next to Malfoy, but standing slightly behind him. "Here," he said, softly. "I'll help you with that." Malfoy's hands were shaking so badly they couldn't even grasp the fastening, much less undo it. 

Harry turned Malfoy until they were standing face to face, and began to unfasten the clasp for him. It was a very ornate silver one, much grander and aesthetically pleasing than the regulatory school ones, and Harry found that it was also a lot stiffer and harder to undo. Malfoy was just looking down at the hands on his robe, but whether he was embarrassed, pleased, or just plain tired, Harry couldn't tell. "There," he said, finally, and slid the robe off Malfoy's shoulders, revealing black silk pajamas. "You have your pajamas on already?" asked Harry, feeling somewhat disappointed, but not knowing why as he folded Malfoy's robe and set it over a nearby chair.

"Of course, Potter," said Malfoy, turning back to the bed and pulling on the comforter and sheets to loosen them from their tightly tucked positions.

"…why?" Harry frowned slightly. "Aren't you supposed to put them on when you go to bed?"

"There are no rules for clothing on non-contact hours, Potter."

"I know that," he said defensively. "I just don't know why you chose pajamas."

"Well, why not? After shower, ready to jump into bed…They're comfortable as well."

"But you'd get all icky."

"Night time showers, Potter. Not right after dinner, like you, but right before bed, like me."

"Oh." A pause. "Hey! How do you know when I shower?!"

Malfoy toed his shoes off and bent down to take off his socks as well. Harry was rather distracted by the view, but still blushed when he heard Malfoy's answer of, "I see you with your hair wet when you're in the Great Hall doing homework after dinner." 

It was when Malfoy pulled at his black ribbon, releasing his hair from its ponytail, that Harry lost the ability to breathe, speak, and think. 

"Oh."

Malfoy tossed his socks off to the side and climbed into bed, getting in on all fours before crawling to the center of his huge bed. It _must_ have been enhanced magically; no other student bed in Hogwarts was that enormous. And…Malfoy was _still_ crawling slowly. 

_oh. my. GOD._

Harry gulped. After what seemed eons, when it was really only half a second, Malfoy settled in and lay down in the midst of a million fluffy pillows. Harry reached for the comforter and pulled it over Malfoy until it reached his chin. Patting down the edges, he felt Malfoy's eyes on him, but refused to meet them as he smoothed down the fabric.

"Potter?" Malfoy whispered.

"Yes, Malfoy?" Harry straightened up. Leaning over Malfoy was a _not_ good thing and DEAR GOD he was a pervert, wasn't he, when Malfoy was depressed and about to receive the Dark Mark – the fucking DARK MARK – and all Harry could think about was kissing those tears away from the pallid cheeks and bringing a smile back to the melancholy face and Malfoy's whispers whispering more than he was now and that it wasn't hoarse from screaming at the injustice of the world but from screaming his own name – _Harry!_

"Potter, would you…? Nevermind." Malfoy looked away.

"I'll be staying right here, Malfoy. I could sleep on your sofa – why do _you_ get a sofa?"

"I get a sofa because I transfigured a sofa, you dumbass." Malfoy looked up at him again, sitting up. "Why don't you…" 

"What?"

Malfoy shook his head, then began scooting across the bed to the other side. "It's big enough for two, Potter, and I know you've been running around the castle all night and that you'll be aching tomorrow and…company is nice."

Harry grinned, and his robe went to join Malfoy's on the chair as he kicked off his shoes, yanked off his socks and –

"You could borrow some of my stuff, you know, Potter. Sleeping in Muggle clothing isn't very comfortable, I should think," came Malfoy's drawling voice, still scratchy and horribly misused. "Look in the top drawer over there," he said, pointing to a dresser. 

Harry opened it to find more pajamas of the sort that Malfoy was already wearing, and took the top set off the stacks that were neatly folded inside. "These?" he said.

"Yes."

"Where's your toilet?"

"Honestly, Potter, you've been seen naked in the showers by other boys and you're asking for a toilet to get changed in?" Malfoy looked slightly annoyed, and somewhat disappointed as well.

"Yes." Harry lifted his chin defiantly.

"Over there, that door," said Malfoy, pointing, before flopping down onto his bed, bouncing slightly.

Minutes later, Harry emerged and folded his clothes on the same chair that the robes were on. The lights were off, save for one tiny nightlight on the other side of the room. Malfoy was an unidentifiable lump on the side of the bed. Harry made his way silently across the room and to his side of the bed – years of practice at the Dursleys' had given him the amazing ability to move around silent, like a shadow.

Slowly, trying not to disturb Malfoy, he lifted a corner of the comforter and slid in, reveling in the luxurious textures and plush mattress. How come Malfoy always had it so much better than any other student? It didn't matter as Harry moved unhurriedly into a sleeping position, staring at Malfoy's back. 

He closed his eyes, sighing, not believing that he was here, in Malfoy's room, in Malfoy's bed, wearing Malfoy's pajamas, and sleeping next to Malfoy himself. Fatigue washed over him – the events of the past few hours had taken too much of him, and he was exhausted as he had never been.

Snuggling in deeper, he turned to face Malfoy, and he couldn't resist open his eyes just a little bit to catch a glimpse of him.

Malfoy was awake, staring at him with those unreadable silver eyes of his.

Rubbing his eyes, Harry muttered, "I thought you were asleep, Malfoy," as he moved closer to the center of the bed. Closer to Malfoy, who, unconsciously, was doing the same. 

They were right up next to each other now, as Malfoy whispered, "I don't sleep, Potter."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so, Malfoy. I know more about sleep than you do. No one doesn't sleep at all."

"Fine then, I only sleep for four hours on a lucky night."

Sighing again, Harry inched closer again, until he could feel Malfoy's breath on him. "Malfoy, it's not good for you. We need at least eight hours a night to stay healthy."

"Perhaps," said Malfoy, waving it off as a trivial matter.

Their fingers and toes touched. Malfoy touch was freezing, but Harry didn't even feel the slightest shock as his fingers came into contact with what seemed to be blocks of ice. Instead, he curled his fingers so they became intertwined with Malfoy's, pulling the two of them even closer so that their legs became similarly entangled. His other hand went to touch Malfoy's chin with the tip of his index finger, caressing tenderly with short, light strokes.

The two of them had been staring at each other the whole time, never blinking, never breaking the contact they had. Malfoy's mouth had opened slightly and little warm gushes of air kissed Harry's own lips, of which he chewed the bottom one nervously.

"Sleep, Malfoy, please."

"Potter…"

Moving even closer, Harry wrapped his free arm around Malfoy and pulled him in tight. His fingers found stray locks of silver hair, so fine and lustrous they appeared to be spun into fine silk from the light of the moon. Pressing his bitten lips to Malfoy's temple, he whispered again, "Sleep, Malfoy, please." And Malfoy sighed and nestled in deeper and closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

To Be Continued!!!!!!!!! 


	10. Sighs

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 10: _Sighs

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Notes:  **Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair, AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, chrisseee67, Rosetta, deadredsocks, JadeDragon, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, Chireel, Scap, TanisaFyre, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, AmZ, and to the other anonymous reviewers!!! **You guys are so sweet!**

**Thank you to J – for tossing ideas around with me because of this stupid writer's block! **

***

_O beauty, passing beauty! Sweetest sweet!_

_How can thou let me waste my youth in sighs?_

_I only ask to sit beside they feet._

_Thou knowest I dare not look into thine eyes._

_Might I but kiss thy hand! I dare not fold_

_My arms about thee – scarcely dare to speak. _

_And nothing seems to me so wild and bold,_

_As with one kiss to touch thy blessed cheek._

_Methinks if I should kiss thee, no control_

_Within the thrilling brain could keep afloat_

_The subtle spirit. Even while I spoke,_

_The bare word "kiss" hath made my inner soul_

_To tremble like a lute string, ere the note_

_Hath melted in the silence that it broke _

***

Draco had his eyes closed, but was not sleeping. No, he had finished already. It was now – he peeked his eyes open to glance at the clock on his night table – four-oh-two a.m., and his mind was awake, zooming, ready for the day. Which brought with it the crushing reality that he was one day closer to his birthday, and one day closer to the 'surprise' his parents had in store for him. He had more than a month, but it was not long enough.

He sighed deeply, and in some strange reflex response, he felt the warm arms around him tighten as their owner responded with a matching sigh of his own. This prompted another sigh from Draco, this time softer, and he inched closer to Potter, squeezing his eyes as tightly as possible, trying to get back into a dream state.

He heard Potter sigh again, and this time, the arm that he was sleeping on wiggled slightly. Draco kept as still as possible, wondering if his fidgeting had woken the other boy up. And then he felt hot breath on his forehead as the arm the was draped around his waist moved so that the hand began stroking his back slowly. Suddenly, the warm, toasty feeling under his comforter got too warm for his liking.

Draco squirmed slightly, so that when Potter's hand hitched onto the edge of his pajama top and swept upwards, revealing smooth, pale skin before Potter realized what happened. And then the callused fingertips paused, delicately poised midway down Draco's back. And there they stayed, tentative, afraid, and Draco could sense the hesitance in Potter from the way Potter froze, and the humid air was no longer being breathed onto Draco's forehead. So Draco squirmed, again, so that Potter's fingers moved against him slightly, and it broke the hesitance, and five fingertips trailed up and down his back, down, and up, and down, and up, and then down and then it stayed there for a minute until Potter gently rested his entire hand against Draco's lower back, down where his skin met his pajama bottoms. 

Draco could feel the heat coming from Potter's hand, and he wasn't aware that he was holding his own breath, and let it out slowly, so that Potter wouldn't know he was actually awake for this. Potter lifted his hand then, leaving only the tip of his index finger in contact with Draco's skin, painting designs onto translucent skin. Draco shivered – he was ticklish, _sinfully_ so – and Potter's finger stopped immediately as the boy held his breath.

"Draco?" came the airy whisper. If Draco hadn't been so tense, every nerve ending poised and ready, he would have missed it.

Looking back, Draco had no idea what possessed him at that moment – perhaps it was the realization that he may as well live his life out in the days before…the _thing_…but he made tiny purr, much like the miniature rumble of a newborn kitten.

Potter let out a great _whoosh_ of air, ruffling Draco's bangs slightly in his relief. Long silver locks of molten moonlight were draped elegantly across his face, which was half buried in the fluffy pillow. Pursing his lips, Draco felt Potter blowing gently at the strands until they floated away, revealing dainty features, almost effeminate but not quite. And then his finger began tracing patterns on Draco's lower back once more.

Draco purred again, this time louder, deeper, longer. His right arm was curled under him, so he reached out to Potter with his left, and grabbed the pajama top around the waist, bunching up the opulent fabric. Between Potter's legs was his own left one, and Draco curled his knee inwards so it rubbed against Potter's inner thighs.

"_Oh_!" 

Draco opened one eye slightly to glance at Potter when the small gasp broke the silence. The other boy's eyes had widened, pupils dilating until they seemed to swallow up the irises, which had in turn darkened to a deep forest green. A blush began to form high on Potter's cheeks, and his mouth had opened as the small sound had broken through while his finger stopped its movement on Draco's skin. Draco squirmed once more, so that his body was flush against Potter's. He could feel warm hands on his back, holding him close, and he moaned slightly, just slightly, so that it was no more than a whisper, knowing that his humid breath would settle on Potter's lower lip.

"Draco?" came the voice once more, but this time it was louder, as if the caller wanted to wake him. A hand was removed from his back and reached to stroke his cheek softly. "Draco?" Potter shook him slightly, calling to him loudly. 

Still he made no answer, except a small sigh.

The hand drifted down to his chin, and began caressing him there. He could feel Potter's presence nearing him, and he parted his own mouth just slightly in pretense of what was to come.

Draco remained perfectly still as Potter's lips gently touched his. There was no pressure, only the slightest contact was made, and it stayed there for three seconds until Potter's bottom lip quivered and he pulled away hastily, but it was too late for Draco, who had already felt shivers shoot from his lips down his spine from the tremulous lips. He was definite the hair on his arms were standing on end.

It was then that Draco decided to 'wake up'. Fluttering his lashes, he opened his eyes slowly to find Potter's own looking back at him, alarmed. "Malfoy!"

"Potter," he said lazily, blinking just as languidly. "What were you doing?"

Potter jolted, and hastily retrieved his hands and shoved them behind his back. The action, however, resulted in Draco losing a very comfortable arm as a pillow, and his head dropped rather unceremoniously to the bed. "Well, Potter?" he asked, slightly disgruntled.

"Nothing," came the squeaky answer.

Potter seemed rather unaware that Draco's hand was still clutching his top tightly until he let go. "Well, then, Potter." Draco closed his eyes and settled onto his back comfortably, leaving a good many inches between him and Potter. "Do nothing again, and this time, do it properly."

There was a pause, and Draco could feel Potter's hesitance. He was ready to push him away when 

_FUCK_

Potter lunged at him, pressing his bitten lips against Draco's soft ones, gripping his shoulders tightly. Draco was so shocked he didn't know how to respond, and didn't – _couldn't – _respond. Just a press of lips to lips, but Draco's mind was already going through a meltdown.

After – how long? – ten seconds? half a minute, an hour, forever? Potter broke away, and Draco lay there for a second, eyes still closed, before opening them slowly to see Potter gazing down at him with an intense look in his eyes.

The look was predatory. It was dangerous. And by the Gods, it thrilled Draco to no end.

A huge burst of air expelled itself from Draco's lungs. "Your first time, Potter?" 

Hesitance, and then, a quick nod. Draco smirked, and reached up, pushing Potter's head closer to his. "I'll tell you a secret," he whispered. "Mine, too."

"Oh?" He could feel Potter relax and smile into his shoulder. 

"Mhm. But you know what, Potter?" Draco pushed slightly on Potter's head, and it came up willingly to face him. "It goes better if you open your mouth. Like this." And with that, he grabbed Potter's shirt and pulled him down for another kiss.

***

Harry was panting afterwards. Panting, and lightheaded. Feeling that the world was fuzzy, and warm, and happy, and the tingly feeling all over was good, especially the raw sensitivity of his lips, which had been licked at, nibbled at, kissed at tenderly, and rubbed against the softest of all skins that Fate had given to one Draco Malfoy.

He had no idea what he was doing, what he had done, and what was to be done about the whole situation, but there was still a slight gnawing feeling inside of him that screamed _Draco Dark Mark stupid Potter you pervert _over and over again. Harry had collapsed beside Malfoy after their little session, watching the other boy close his eyes and breathe deeply. He couldn't help but smile to himself at the sight of Malfoy's long, long hair tangled and tousled from his fingers, of lips, usually so pale and peachy a pink, but now scarlet and glistening as the tip of a tongue extended from his mouth to lick at them.

Malfoy let out a deep sigh of satisfaction, and smiled slightly as well. Harry couldn't help but be shocked, as this was the first time Malfoy had ever smiled in his presence. This, perhaps, marked a Significant Moment, and Harry felt something deep inside of him stir. Not even during their late-night violin chat sessions had he seen Malfoy crack a smile until now.

_I wonder if he likes cuddling_

Harry inched closer to Malfoy, and slid his arm under his head as an offering of a pillow. Lifting his head slightly, Malfoy now rested in the crook of his arm as Harry wrapped a leg and arm around him, pulling him close.

"What are we now?" whispered Harry.

Malfoy wouldn't look at him. "What do you think, Potter?"

"I don't know."

"Look, I know that you and the Weasley skank –"

"Ginny? There's nothing between us," Harry cut in hurriedly.

Malfoy went quiet, and opened his eyes to look up into Harry's own. "Oh?" he went, with a tilt in his brow.

"Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, there's just nothing. No one for me right now."

Malfoy's brow went higher. "Oh?" he said again, and he slithered off Harry's arm and under the blanket so that only trails of silver hair were all Harry could see. "Then I guess you should go. The Weasel and Mudblood have probably been worried sick all night over you."

Harry felt something clutch at his heart and he immediately tried to lift the blanket off Malfoy, but to no avail. "No, Malfoy, that's not what I meant! Malfoy!" He began scrambling over the bed, trying to follow the lump that just evaded his fingers. "_Malfoy!_"

The lump stilled in the middle of the bed. Harry had somehow gravitated towards the opposite corner from where he started off, and he knelt on the covers, sitting back on his heels. He felt cold without the warmth of the blanket and of another body, and he rubbed his arms. "Malfoy, you know when I said that, that wasn't what I meant."

He could almost _see_ Malfoy raise an eyebrow at him through the fabric. "Malfoy, stop being such a child. You know what I meant."

"Oh, so I'm a child now, aren't I?" came his muffled voice, arched and a little piqued. "I was pampered and spoilt rotten until I came to Hogwarts, thank you very much. Eleven years of work is hard to undo, even in seven years. And if you've forgotten, I have a very special birthday present waiting for me from my dear father and his _master_," he said, spitting the last word out as if it tasted bad. "And no, I _don't_ know what you mean." Harry knew he added that just to try and annoy him.

"You do know."

"I don't."

"Are you insisting?"

"Fuck, yeah."

Harry sighed. "If you insist, then, Malfoy. I meant that there was no one else for me until just now. I meant that there had been no one for me until now, either. _Now_ do you know what I mean?"

Silence, then, "Maybe."

"And do you maybe want to get out from under the covers now?"

"Only if you stop sitting on it. They're stuffed with handpicked down feathers and the cover is made from the finest of silks ever produced. My father sent it to me from France." The lump moved until it emerged back at Malfoy's pillow and Harry scooted back over so that they were sitting next to each other.

"So, what are we?" Harry asked again.

"Potter, are you _really_ going to make me ask you this?"

"Yes."

"Why." Malfoy wasn't too happy about it.

"Because. I can't."

"Fine." Malfoy wouldn't look at him as he said, "Harry, will you go out with me?"

"Of course." Harry beamed, and wrapped Malfoy into a hug. "Things will be perfect, you know. And everything will be just fine."

Malfoy sighed and leaned his head on Harry's shoulder. "Mhm."

"Just fine. I promise."

To Be Continued!

Notes: _O Beauty, Passing Beauty! _poem by Alfred Tennyson, used without permission, sorry! :p 


	11. Simply Because

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 11: _Simply Because

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

**Notes:  **Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, Hoshikio-Malfoy, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, **vanityfair** – _I'm actually trying to work the violin in, lol, and the Tennyson poem is one of my faves :D,_ AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, **chrisseee67** – _glad you liked this chapter, thank you so much!_, Rosetta, deadredsocks, JadeDragon, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, **Chireel** – _thank you for your review, hope you continue to read on!_, Scap, TanisaFyre, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, AmZ, **mistykasumi** – _thx for reading, hope you like this chapter!, _**Morien Alexander – **_thank YOU for reading and reviewing!, _**Jubilee** – _hope this update is quick enough for you!, _**amethyst – **_thanks for your support!, _**TanisaFyre – **_thank you so much for reading! don't cry, chapter 10 was supposed to be fluffy! glad you enjoyed it anyway!, _**Portuguese-Girl – **_Your review was very sweet and I was very happy when I saw it, thank you!,_** IamtheLizardQueen – **_thank you very much for reading my fic and, lol, I liked your pun!, _**Green-and-Silver – **_I hope I won't give you a reason to set your chipmunks on me!_, **Bizzle – **_Thank you very much for your review, and I wrote in a couple snogs just for you!_

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TOM FELTON! This present might be a bit late, but…(heeheehee…) **

***

_If thou must love me, let it be for nought_

_Except for love's sake only. Do not say,_

_"I love her for her smile – her look – her way_

_Of speaking gently, - for a trick of thought_

_That falls in well with mine, and brings_

_A sense of pleasant ease on such a day." –_

_For these things in themselves, Beloved, may_

_Be changed, or change for thee, - and love, so wrought_

_May be unwrought so. Neither love me for_

_Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry, -_

_A creature might forget to weep who bore_

_Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!_

_But love me for love's sake, that evermore_

_Thou may love on, through love's eternity._

***

They were standing at the end of the corridor to the Prefect Private Entrance. Malfoy was clutching at Harry's sleeves just above his elbow, and Harry had his hands on Malfoy's waist. 

Harry was staring at Malfoy, who was staring at the floor. Green eyes raked over beautiful silver hair, remembering the feel of them as they tangled in his fingers. They swept over eyelashes, long, dark, and curled so they rested gently on hued cheeks, covering the steely gaze that had softened into molten warmth not long ago. They gazed hungrily at perfectly formed lips, full, tempting, addictive. One would fall drunk after one taste of those lips, and Harry was sure that, were those lips wine, he had become an alcoholic already.

"I have to go now," Harry whispered.

"I know," Malfoy replied, just as softly. 

"Draco – I'll see you in class today. And I'll come by again tonight. After dinner." To Harry, though, his words sounded more like he was trying to convince himself to leave rather than for Malfoy to let him go.

"Mhm." 

"I really should get back to my dorms…I need to change into my school robes, you know."

"Mhm."

"So…I guess I'll see you at breakfast then?"

"Of course." Malfoy let go of Harry's sleeves. "Go change into your uniform. I'm going to get myself washed up."

"Alright then." Harry's hands were still resting on Malfoy's waist.

"Alright then." Malfoy made no move to go.

A pause.

"You know, you really should get going. The little Gryffindors will have their panties in a twist when they discover their hero isn't in the dorm when they wake up."

Harry sighed. "I guess you're right. It's only six, though. No one's going to be awake yet. And we have half an hour after breakfast to go get our books and stuff…I could meet you early before Transfiguration."

"Yeah. So I guess you're not going to tell anyone, are you?" Malfoy's head was still down. He had been staring at the floor the whole time.

"Well, no, obviously."

Another pause, in which Harry continued staring at Malfoy's bowed head. He could feel the other boy take a small step back to go, and impulsively fisted his hands into Malfoy's robes, pulling the other boy forcefully to him into a tight embrace. Slowly, Malfoy's arms reached up and circled him, holding him close, burying his face in Harry's neck. They stood there for a good several minutes until Malfoy shifted and they broke apart.

"You should go."

Harry breathed in deeply. "Yeah." He pulled back and stepped into the stone corridor. "I'll see you soon."

"At breakfast, I know." Malfoy was still looking down, but Harry could tell that there was a tiny smile playing on his lips. He tilted his head up and kissed Harry on the cheek briefly. "See you. You better get going now, or there'll be hell to pay."

Harry nodded and took a deep breath before turning his back, walking solemnly down the long, dark hallway. About halfway down, just as he was about to disappear into the looming shadows, he couldn't resist, and turned his head quickly to catch one last glimpse of Malfoy before he left. 

A tiny figure was at the end of the passage, surrounded by light, head bowed towards the floor once more and slightly turned to the side, torn between leaving and staying, wanting to watch Harry's departure, but wanting to spare himself from the sight.

Harry's breath caught in his throat when he turned and saw.

***

He looked up again at the sound of footsteps running towards him, confused mercuric eyes meeting with wild green ones. "Harry – ?" was all he got out before Potter grabbed him by the shoulders, shoving him against the wall, hard, before pulling him into a ferocious kiss. And another. And another. And another, until they couldn't stop, Potter's hands weaving through this long silver hair, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs, trailing down his back to press them closer together. 

Draco was dimly aware that he was making little sounds, purring into Potter's mouth as Harry kept on moaning, "Draco, Draco, _oh, Draco_…" over and over as they kissed and kissed and kissed and it didn't matter that it was almost half past six and that was when the stupid Muggle lovers in Harry's dorm would begin to wake up, nothing mattered any more, just Harry and more Harry and as much of Harry as he can get his hands and his lips and his skin on – 

"Wait." Draco pulled back as Harry's hips pushed against his slightly. They were both panting, hands tangled in hair, in robes, in each other. Draco took a deep breath, trying to regulate his breathing once more. "Wait," he said again.

Potter nodded. "I know. You're right. I just couldn't resist." 

"Oh?" Draco refused to look at him, and desperately fought the blush that threatened to appear.

"Yeah." Potter sighed. "I guess I should be going now," he said, moving away. 

"I guess."

An intense stare was shared between the two of them. "Breakfast, then," said Draco. 

Potter nodded. "Breakfast." 

And the two of them turned, and refused to look back.

***

_Dammit_

  


He had crossed a line. He knew he had because Malfoy had pulled away. 

_Dammit!_

He had rushed too fast. Malfoy clearly hadn't been ready – fuck – they hadn't even on speaking terms until that night when he walked in on Malfoy in the music room. And now – things progressed so quickly – too quickly – and he didn't know what to think, or feel, or do, except wonder at how they came to be like this. 

_DAMMIT_

The final goodbye he shared with Malfoy had been uncharacteristically cold – well, uncharacteristically cold when compared to events at dawn. He banged his head on the bathroom tiles.

_DAMMIT!_

What should he do now? By the Gods, but was he lost. And confused. And a little scared, too, because this was nice and everything, but it was so fast, and there were exactly thirty-eight days until the end of term and exactly forty-two days until Malfoy's Christmas Eve birthday. He sighed.

He stood, thinking, until he heard the distinct sound of Dean's snooze alarm go off in the boys' dorm next door. Shaking his head, Harry reached for the tap and turned the water off. 

Outside, it began to snow.

***

Hermione eyed Harry at breakfast. Strange. Her eyes narrowed as she studied him carefully until the pretence of looking at a particularly thick tome. She then sneaked a look at the other Gryffindor boys, who were rubbing their eyes sleepily. Seamus was trying to finish off a Herbology essay, Dean looked as if he was going to detach his jaw with his yawns, Neville had the Early Morning Stares, and Ron was asleep in his scrambled eggs. Harry was hunched over the table, taking small, even bites of his porridge. Nothing seemed to be out of place, everything seemed to be in order. 

Except for the exceptional case of Shifty Eyes Harry had this morning. The Shifty Eyes seemed to scan the table to check if anyone was looking, before flitting across the Hufflepuff table and landing in a particular area on the Slytherin table. Strange, especially since Harry didn't have his Death Glare in place.

Now, Hermione was nothing if not observant. And she was also the farthest thing possible from stupid, and so it was not difficult to locate who exactly it was that Harry's Shifty Eyes kept Shifting towards.

To her credit, she did not even flinch upon the realization of who it was, but merely raised an eyebrow as she sighed and turned the page. No wonder Harry was being so secretive this past week. Their midnight escapades to the kitchen and various expeditions around the school had lessened to none at all for the past eight nights. While Ron accepted Harry's excuse of tiredness and need for rest, Hermione would take one look at Harry the next day, and know – he had been out the night before.

Hermione sighed again, and Harry looked over at her. She hadn't realized her sighs sounded so piteous until the worried eyes of her friend were on her as he said, "Are you alright, Hermione? You really shouldn't be working so hard – you'll wear yourself out soon."

She shook her head. "I'm alright. Just…thinking." 

Even as she said those words, Harry glanced around him before looking towards the Slytherins once more. But this time, when he turned back, he met the knowing brown eyes of Hermione, who sighed and shook her head slightly.

Harry blinked. Once. Twice. And then realization sunk into him and a fierce blush flamed his cheeks. "Oh," was all he could say.

"Oh." A confirmation of her suspicions.

"Oh." Surprise that she figured it out.

"Oh." Surprise that he couldn't figure out that she would figure it out.

"Oh." A strange urge to bang head against table, muttering, "Stupid, stupid, stupid…"

"Look, Harry, I just…" Hermione sighed again. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded earnestly. 

"Is it wise?"

Harry frowned.

Hermione sat back, letting her book rest on the table, and folded her arms. "We need to talk."

All the colour drained from Harry's cheeks.

"Now."

***

Draco sat at the breakfast table, actively trying to ignore Potter's stares. It wasn't as if he didn't _want _to look over, but he knew if he did, a silly grin would spread of his face, and for such a thing to happen…well, such a thing _wouldn't_ happen, and so he wasn't looking over. 

He could still feel the stare on him, though, warm all over, and it made him feel special, loved, invincible. Except maybe against his father and the Dark Lord and Potter himself, as well as maybe Dumbledore, and Snape, of course, and maybe even McGonagall, and…

He shook his head slightly. Potter _always_ made him babble, even in his head, and in a most unattractive manner. 

There was a flutter of wings, and a stupid first year at the Hufflepuff table shouted, "Mail!" and everyone looked up as hundreds of owls descended upon them. Draco could see his family owl making his way towards him and held out a hand for the parchment that was dropped directly into it.

Unfolding it, his face turned ashen, and he gathered up his book bag and swept from the Great Hall.

***

"Why?" 

They were in the Transfiguration classroom, using the half hour before class for their talk.

Harry shrugged. "I can't explain it…it just, sort of…_happened_."

Hermione gave him a sceptical look. "So, one day, you and Malfoy took one look at each other and decided that you two would…would…" She gesticulated wildly to convey her meaning. "…you know, just…Oh, forget it." She crossed her arms, giving him a hard stare. "So. Tell me how it happened."

Harry blushed.

Hermione sighed. "I don't want to know, frankly, but I want to hear it from you so I could somehow understand why you could possibly…you know…" She sighed again. "It'd be easier to understand. Don't you at least want a chance to explain how it happened? He _is_ a Slytherin, and not just any Slytherin, you know. I just…I just want to understand why."

"I know, I know, I just…"

She leaned back and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Go on, Harry. If you tell me now, it'll make it a lot less painful for you." She gave him a Look. "Believe me."

"Er…I know." Harry took a deep breath. "It just…started last week. Well, not exactly last week, more like the Friday before last week. I was taking a walk around school, at night, and I went into a room and Malfoy was there." His eyes glazed over, remembering the past, and the words that followed were savoured as much as the memories that accompanied it were. "He was there, and he was playing the violin, Hermione, the violin!" He almost squealed. "And I was there, under my Invisibility Cloak and the music was so beautiful, Hermione, it was so beautiful, and Malfoy was creating it…he was creating such beautiful music, and he looked _different_, somehow, I think it was the music that was coming from him, but it gave me such strange feelings." Harry's right hand rested over his heart as he looked down, embarrassed. 

"And then I just knew I had to show him I was there, and so I did, and we didn't fight, Hermione, but I asked him to play a song for me, and he refused at first, but when I turned to leave he said he would, and it was so _beautiful_, Hermione, I can't describe it to you, I can't…"

Hermione cleared her throat. "Harry, are you referring to Malfoy or the music?"

Until that day, Hermione had no idea that any human being at all – Muggle or Wizard – could blush plum. Apparently, it _was_ possible.

Refusing to answer, Harry went on. "And so I went back the next night, and the next, and the next, for the past few nights." He deliberately glossed over the events of last night, not knowing if Draco wanted anyone to know or not. Besides, he was still worrying over the last kiss he shared with Malfoy – if he had gone too far, how was he going to make things fine again?

Hermione's voice shook him out of his musings. "I guess some things happened in between, right?" Harry nodded. She sighed, again. "I won't ask what happened – it's between the two of you. But, if you really think that it's safe for you to do this, then, the only thing I can think of to tell you is congratulations, and…you'd better tell Ron, somehow."

A little shocked, Harry could only sit for a minute. Then he relaxed, and a smile lit up his face. "Thank you, Hermione."

"One last question."

"Yes?" Harry was busy taking his quill and books out.

"Why?"

Harry smiled to himself. "Simply because, Hermione."

_Simply because I do._

***

Draco threw his books across his room, shattering a lamp on the dresser. "_Fuck you! I'm not, I'm not, I'm NOT!!!!"_

He grabbed onto a little cupboard he had, and hurled it against the wall. _"NO I WON'T I'M NOT I WON'T!"_

And so he went on like this, until his already hoarse voice was gone, and his room was broken and shattered, much like himself, and he flung himself against the wall, beating, kicking, cursing, until all the fight drained out of him and he just sat.

And sat.

And sat.

And sat.

To Be Continued!

Notes: _If thou must love me, let it be for nought_ – poem by Elizabeth Barret Browning, also used without permission – my apologies!


	12. Always

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 12:_ Always

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

_If I never ever say that I love you_

_Then just remember, girl, I'm saying I do_

_You can know that from this moment_

_You are always in my heart_

_If I never ever say that I love you_

_Then just remember, girl, I'm saying I do_

_Love you_

_You'll be always in my heart_

***

Harry was worried _sick_.

He had been a little annoyed when Draco hadn't appeared early before their first class of the day – Transfiguration – as they had planned. When he hadn't shown up to class at all, Harry had been a little confused. When he still hadn't shown up to _any_ class by lunch, Harry had been beginning to get worried. And when Draco was still absent for afternoon classes and even Slytherin Quidditch practice, which Harry spied on from his tower room window, he was so worried he thought he was going to throw up.

And now, at dinner, when Draco was still missing, Harry was _beyond _worried. He was completely _agonized_ and _scared_ and the smell of dinner and the thousand voices all clamouring for attention around him did _not_ make the queasy feeling in his stomach feel any better.

If Ron noticed anything strange, then it was thanks to Hermione that no comment was made on it. She was lecturing Ron while quizzing him on a Charms test tomorrow, all the while shooting anxious looks in Harry's direction, but he was too distressed to notice or care.

Pushing his plate away from him, Harry stood up. "I'm full. I think I might go for a walk. Don't wait up for me tonight."

Ron looked up, moving as if to stand as well. "Wait, Harry, what –"

Hermione hit Ron's arm lightly and pulled him back down into his seat. "Ron! Concentrate!" she bellowed. "Your wrist movement is still all wrong. How do you expect to pass tomorrow's test with that _atrocious_ flinging…_thing _you're doing now?"

Ron turned to her. "Hermione!" he said, exasperated. "Why can't you go and pick on Harry for a change? You're annoying enough as it is!"

Recoiling as if slapped, Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Fine," she sniffed. "Fail. See if I care." And she turned back to her dinner, eating stoically as if nothing happened, ignoring the stares from the rest of Gryffindor table.

Sensing the damage done, but not wanting to do anything about it, Ron made as if to follow Harry, but it was too late. He was gone already. Suddenly furious, Ron rounded in on Hermione. "Look what you've done now, Hermione!" he shouted, looming over her petite figure. "Something's wrong with Harry, but you just wouldn't stop with the talking, would you? Now he's gone, and it's all your fault! He probably had something to tell us, but couldn't, not with you nattering on about Flitwick's test."

Standing as well, the top of Hermione's head scarcely reached Ron's shoulders, but the clear rage in her eyes was enough to make anyone quake in their shoes. "Have you ever thought that maybe it's the fact that Harry _didn't_ want to speak to us about whatever's bothering him? Gods, Ron, you're not smart, but I never thought that even you would be this thick! He clearly wanted to spend time by himself, without us hanging all over him, trying to get him to talk to us, especially with so many people around! If he wanted to talk, _he would bloody well wait until HE WANTED TO!_"

The sections of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw tables around Hermione fell silent. Only Slytherins were far enough not to hear. Most wore shocked expressions at the words that flowed from their Head Girl's lips, and some were shocked that she was so angry at all. Immediately, whispers drowned out the brief silence with rumours of Hogwart's favourite not-quite couple.

_"…well, with Ron Weasley with…all the time…tower…no WONDER Hermione Granger would…"_

_"…I heard that…Granger…Weasley…lots and lots of girls…"_

_"…I mean, if MY boyfriend were…dump him…Weasley…behind her back…"_

_"…no, not even secret…torrid affair with that Ravenclaw, shocking, really…"_

Red-faced and embarrassed, Hermione was determined not to let Ron get the better of her, and sat back down to resume eating her dinner, fighting the urge to snap and scream at everyone to just shut _up_ already. Incensed beyond belief at Hermione's outburst, Ron just glared and stomped out of the Great Hall, muttering, "I'm going anyway. I have a date."

The whispers grew, though the other seventh-year Gryffindors dared not speak in Hermione's presence. "Erm," said Seamus. 

Hermione fixed her Death Glare on him, challenging him to speak.

Seamus gulped. "Erm," he said again. A long pause, and then, "Hey, don't you all think the chicken tonight tastes especially good?" He gave a shaky smile. 

She merely raised an eyebrow and turned back to her food. Meanwhile, the people around her exploded into conversation as Hermione shovelled food into her mouth, ignoring the lot of them.

_Damn you, Ron Weasley._

***

Draco sat. Blinked. Sat.

***

Harry was walking in the gardens again, basking in the moonlight, shivering in the cold. Should he go and find Draco using the Map? Or did Draco have a reason to be absent the whole day? Did he not want to see Harry? Did news from home reach him again? He had been at breakfast, though Harry could only remember seeing him there for the first part of it – when had he left?

Shaking his head, and feeling the cold wind billow his robes, Harry decided to return to Gryffindor tower. Sighing, he glanced around the common room as he went through the portrait hole, and was surprised and thankful to find it void of everyone. He looked at the clock on the wall – the hand was pointing towards "time to sleep". Harry blinked. He had no idea he had been outside for so long. 

Still, the fire crackled on in its merry way, and Harry decided to sit rather than go to bed. He sighed once more as he sunk into the plush velveteen armchair closest to the fire, and leaned back, watching the shadows dance over the walls and furniture.

"Harry?"

"Eeee!" He shrieked and jumped up, spinning around. "Oh," he said, relieved. "Hermione. What are you doing up so late?" He sat back down again, and Hermione sunk into the sofa that was next to it.

"Oh, nothing much." She was dressed in her nightgown, but had thrown her robes over it and had her cloak draped over an arm – obviously, she was planning to go out. "I heard you come in from my room– I wasn't sleeping yet, so…" She smiled. "You know."

"I know."

Hermione cleared her throat. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about, Harry? I know that Malf – Draco – is on your mind a lot. And he wasn't in class today."

"I know." Harry sighed again. "I just – I don't know."

"Harry?"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"Well." She clasped and unclasped her hands, ducking her head as if shy. "How did you know – about Malfoy, I mean. Or rather, Draco," she corrected herself. "How did you know? I mean – it's a pretty big change, isn't it, going from rivals to…well, to whatever you two have now. And even though you told me this morning that – well, you know – I still." She stopped, and sighed. "I don't know. I just want to understand more, I guess. I don't know. I feel rather stupid talking to you about this, you know?"

"It's not stupid, Hermione. And it's always been this way, since first year. He was always the only one that could draw my attention no matter what I was doing. Remember Cho?" Hermione nodded. "I would remember how I felt when I saw her. But with Draco…it's just different. He's on my mind all the time – he was on my mind all the time before that, as well, just in a different context." 

Hermione nodded. "You didn't have to tell me all that, Harry, but I'm glad you did."

"Thanks for not letting Ron ask me about it. Still have to think of a way to tell him, you know? I do hope I hadn't given you any trouble at dinner."

Hermione's smile began to look a bit forced. "Well, we had a bit of a rumble, but nothing for you to worry about."

Harry frowned. "Is he in bed yet?"

Hermione's forced smile began to look rather painful. "Well, no, he's not back yet. He has a date – with a Hufflepuff. Fifth year. Pretty little thing, I suppose, if you have a thing for dumb blondes that giggle too much. Didn't catch her name, though." 

"I thought he was with that sixth year Ravenclaw? Or was it that _other_ sixth year Hufflepuff – you know, the brunette?"

"No, those were last week. This week it was with the Ravenclaw Chaser Su Li – you know, seventh year? – and then it was Megan Jones, Hufflepuff, our year as well. Gods, Harry, and you say you're his best friend," she smirked.

"Haha. Very funny, Hermione," Harry grumbled. "Just because I can't keep track of Ron's millions of weekly girlfriends, and you can."

She took her pocket-watch out. "I guess I better be going anyway. I'm meeting someone."

"On a date?" Harry gave a wicked grin.

Hermione actually blushed as she stood up from her seat. "Well, if you must know, yes."

Harry bounced onto his feet as well. "Oh, do tell!"

"Justin Fitch-Fletchley."

"The Hufflepuff?"

"Which other Justin Fitch-Fletchley do you know?"

Harry shrugged. "When did you two…I mean, I never thought that you and…" 

Hermione gave a carnal smile that rather frightened Harry. "Have you _seen_ him lately, Harry? Were the Gods nice to him over the summer or what? But then I guess you were too immersed in your…own matters to have noticed how incredibly good-looking he is now? I understand anyway, Malfoy is _so_ much better looking than Justin, but Malfoy has that evil thing going for him, and Justin is just sunny and…"

"You know what, Hermione? Hearing you talk about boys that way is seriously disturbing. I think we should stop. Starting right now."

Hermione smirked, and Harry coughed. "So where are you two meeting?"

"His prefect's dorm." 

"_WHAT?!"_

Both of them whirled around. "Ron!" said Harry. "You're back!"

"Of course I'm back," Ron said crossly. "Hermione, did I just hallucinate, or did you really just say you were going to meet with Fitch-Fletchley in his dorm?"

Hermione lifted her chin. "I am."

"You can't do that!" Ron took a step towards her, hands clenched tightly into fists.

Harry shuffled back a few steps. "Oook," he mumbled. "Not good. Not good at _all_."

Hermione stepped forward as well. "And why not?" Her voice was quiet. Deadly. Dangerous. And at her words, Ron's flushed face darkened, and the wild gleam in his eyes flickered.

Poor Harry stood off to the side, not knowing what to do, or say, or think, or…or…

"Well…well…_because _you bloody well can't go meet a _boy_ in his own private dorm!" Ron spluttered.

"And I'm asking you again. _Why not?_" Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Don't _you_ go round meeting girls in private rooms? Don't _you_ go around the school, meeting with girls in private places that you _know_ teachers do not search at night? Don't _you_ get intimate with those girls in such private places? And what is to stop _me_ from doing the same?"

"Because! You're a _girl_!"

"And the ones that you fuck aren't?! What makes me different from those girls? And who are you to comment on what I'm doing with my love life _or_ sex life?"

Ron shrunk away slightly at her words, but then his possessiveness washed over him again. "You just can't! Not with that Hufflepuff!"

"Oh? And what about Megan? And Darlene? And Shelia? And those hundreds of other Hufflepuff girls that you've been fucking since sixth year? And let's not even _mention _the other girls you've been with. There is nothing wrong with Justin! He's smart, he's funny, he's nice, he's good-looking, and he actually treats me like I'm worth something!"

_Uh oh…Ron, don't…don't say it!_

Ron blew up at the implied meaning that everyone in the room was well aware or. "Worth something?! Do you think he'll treat you like you're worth something when you're going to meet him in his own private dorm? That he'll think you're worth something when you're going dressed like a fucking tuppence _whore_ –"

A resounding slap echoed around the room. 

Ron and Hermione stood in the middle of the room, frozen like two statues. She had her left hand still balled into a fist, her right arm crossed over her chest in the curve with her strike. His face was turned to the side by the force, red locks of hair shading his eyes from view, mouth a firm thin line pressed tightly shut. She looked up at him, tears refusing to fall as they filled her eyes. He turned sharply to face her, and the two shared a long, hard look before she turned and picked up her cloak from the sofa.

"Harry, I'm going out. I'm late. Don't wait up for me, I'll be fine."

And then she was gone. 

There was silence and complete stillness for several minutes as Ron and Harry just stood there, staring at the exit. 

Ron turned to Harry, still angry. "Can you believe her? Going to him dressed in her _nightgown_, and going to his _dorm_ as well? Just like that?"

Harry, on the other hand, was rather annoyed with Ron's attitude, but tried to restrain himself so he didn't do something stupid as well, such as punch Ron square in the face, and settled instead for shaking his head. "Why don't you just...get to bed?"

Ron stared at him, incredulous. "How can you sleep when she's out _there_ with _him_?"

Sighing, Harry pushed his glasses up his nose. "Look, if you're here when she gets back, you two will just end up fighting again. I don't want my best friends to fight. Why don't we all sit down and talk about it – calmly – like the seventh years we are – tomorrow?"

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive. Look – tomorrow we have the library session for Advanced DA. We'll find a quiet corner in the Restricted Section and have a talk. We could always catch up on the classwork later."

Thinking it through, Ron nodded. "Alright. I'm going to bed, then. It's late. You should sleep, too."

"Yeah, I am."

_How am I supposed to sleep like this?_

"Good night, Harry." And then Ron was gone, disappearing up the stairs into the dorm.

Prefects' rooms were on the same level as the common room, with their entrances a good way deeper into the tower, and it was towards his room that Harry headed, already deciding to check his location on the Map. He couldn't help himself – waiting any longer to see him was simply too much. 

His footsteps became quick patters as he suddenly felt the panicked urge to run. Throwing the door open and then slamming it shut, he went to his trunk, grabbed his Cloak and Map, and then dashed out again, tapping on the Map as he struggled to put on the Cloak.

Music room. Draco was in the music room – their meeting place for their illicit nights together.

And Harry was off, heart pounding, towards _him_.

_I'm coming…hold on, I'm coming…_

***

Harry slowed down from his run and paused outside the door to catch his breath. Slowly, carefully, he opened the door and slipped inside, eyes seeking Malfoy immediately. And then – there he was, standing in front of the wide windowsill they had sat on so many times. He looked exactly the same as the first night Harry had walked in on him, but this time, the moon was hiding behind a cloud. Malfoy had his violin with him, and he was cradling it more lovingly than any other time Harry had seen. His fingers balanced the bow gently as he stroked the strings with it, fingertips pressing softly against the fingerboard – just enough pressure for it to sing the most beautiful notes that ever graced Harry's ears. Malfoy's face was hidden in the shadows, but Harry could still see his silver hair glinting – he hadn't tied it back tonight, and several strands fell against the violin, the colour contrast stark between the dark wood and the light hair. 

He felt his breath catch – everything was alright. Malfoy was here, he was here with his violin, he was still playing beautiful music that saddened and delighted Harry at the same time, everything was as it should be. Malfoy probably had been absent because of his problem with the Dark Mark, but now that he was here, with his violin, everything wrong would be right again.

At least, that was what Harry thought until the clouds shifted and moonlight pierced the room, illuminating the room with its deathly pale light, reflecting the tears that fell from Draco's closed eyes. The sudden moment caused Harry to notice the striking similarity and difference between now and the first time. It was as if tonight was a sick replication of their first meeting. 

Flinging his Invisibility Cloak off him, not even caring when it fell to the dirty floor, he dashed towards Draco, stopping himself from reaching out. Draco opened his eyes and Harry panicked even more at the unreadable expression in them. Carefully, tenderly, he laid his violin down onto the windowsill before turning and flinging himself onto Harry, burying his face into strong, steady shoulders.

"What? What, what, Draco, tell me what?" Harry held onto Draco tightly, scared. "Is it the thing with the Mark? Please, Draco, talk to me, what's wrong?" And then he thought himself incredibly stupid that he hadn't remembered. "Is it the letter you got today? Is it from your father? What is it? Please, please, tell me, you're scaring me." His voice rose in pitch as he spoke, and his grip on Draco tightened.

"No," came Draco's voice, eerily calm and cool. Harry could feel moist breath on his shoulder, and could feel Draco's lips against his robes. "Not the Mark. Not my father. It was from my mother."

"What is it, then? Please, tell me."

"Lord Nemberfaul. He'd been visiting – said he'd stay for my birthday party and the thing. He was mentioned in my father's letter yesterday. One of the Dark Lord's inner people. Has one daughter."

A part of Harry's brain knew where this was going, but refused to acknowledge it until Draco said the words.

"My mother has been holding negotiations. They want us to marry by New Year's. She'll be eight years older than me after my birthday – but it's a good match in their eyes. Already a – a Death Eater. Good family, and with a title. Which I, too, will get once I marry her."

"But – how – _this _New Year's? How – I don't understand…"

"They want me to leave Hogwarts after this term…Harry, they're making me leave. The Dark Lord is planning something big – and that is why they want me to get the Mark and to marry. The Dark Lord likes having married couples – everyone in the Inner Circle is coupled. And he hands out missions in pairs. And…after I turn seventeen…I'll be old enough to work for him, to have a family…"

Harry could only stay silent, fingering the strands of Malfoy's hair. Silence pounded against their ear drums until Malfoy spoke again.

"Do you…do you want me to…to be the bad guy again, Potter?" Draco's connotation changed suddenly and Harry knew he was trying to make light of whatever he was going to say. 

"I don't understand."

"I mean, Potter, do you want me to break this off now? It's only been a day – but I will do it. And better I do it now than if I do it later. After all – it's only been a day," he said again.

"I don't know."

Draco pulled away harshly and Harry stumbled a bit from the force. "How can you not know, Potter?" he asked, scowling. "You can't not know. Give me an answer."

Harry sighed. "I really don't know. What about you? What do you want?"

"I want us, Potter – there, I said it. And it's no secret that since I asked you out that I like you as well. I'm not ashamed of saying it, Potter. And I want to know what you want. As in, is it worth it. Are _we_ worth it."

"I…" Harry sighed again. "Look, Draco, I don't know how long we'll last. I don't know about the future. But I will say that right now, I do want to be with you. We have…we have until Christmas."

"Which is a month away, Potter. You know what I'm saying is right. Until Christmas…who knows? If we have to break, then I'd rather break it off now before I fall deeper into this. Unless I can be saved – which I highly doubt – the ritual and the marriage will happen."

"You _will_ be saved! I won't let anything happen to you! Dumbledore will –"

"Dumbledore will _nothing_, Potter. Don't you see it? I am a Slytherin, and a Malfoy at that. Don't you see how Dumbledore always seems to be less than caring of us than the rest of the entire school? We have a bad reputation – there's no use denying it – because some of us _do_ come from Death Eater families and everyone in the House _is_ a pureblood. If Dumbledore really wanted to stop Slytherin from being the House of Young Death Eaters, then he should have done something more active than just sitting here and watching us being outcast from the entire school, being beaten down for what we are – it's not a crime to have Slytherin traits, and yet here, in Hogwarts, it is. It's no surprise to me how many of my housemates turn to the Dark side, if only to gain the acceptance they have been deprived of here!" Draco ended his short tirade, eyes shining with unshed tears, cheeks completely drained of colour, hands shaking even as they were curled into fists clenched tightly at his sides.

Complete and utter silence. The two of them stared at each other, Draco breathing heavily as if short of breath, Harry still, like a statue.

"If Dumbledore doesn't, then I'll save you instead. I'll be your hero instead of the world's. I'll be The Boy Who Lived For You. And I won't let anything happen to you." Harry took a step forward, and grabbed onto the rich fabric of Malfoy's robes. "I won't."

Draco's silver eyes glinted in the moonlight before the clouds shadowed his face once more. Yet, Harry could still feel those eyes boring into his, searching, wondering, knowing, before Draco collapsed onto him again for the second time that night, holding him, trying to bring him closer as he gave a soft whisper directly into Harry's ear. "Then I will never let you go."

**DOES THIS ENDING SEEM LIKE A HORRIBLE ANTI-CLIMAX TO YOU?!?!?!?!**

To Be Continued!!!

**Notes:  **Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, **ClarKeRaVen** – _that was one of the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me! I hate the thought of letting people down with a bad chapter…but sometimes the chapters need to be written…so we can all move on with the story, maybe?_, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, **Lunadeath** – _schoolwork beckons, but this was as fast as I could muster_, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair_,_ AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, chrisseee67, Rosetta, deadredsocks, **JadeDragon – **_hope this chapter was good enough…hehe…I'm not much for thinking up evil things, but I try…lol, I'm glad you liked the Hermione-Harry interlude, thanks for reading!_, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, Chireel, Scap, **TanisaFyre** – _LOL! the anger management is definitely going to be an issue with Draco, I should expect…keep on reading!_, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, **AmZ** – _I hope you liked this chapter, even though it is decidedly less sexy than the last_, mistykasumi_, _Morien Alexander_, _**Jubilee – **_I wonder if this freaky thing is freaky enough?, _amethyst_, _Portuguese-Girl_,_IamtheLizardQueen_, _Green-and-Silver, Bizzle, **Anna** – _It's very nice of you to offer, but I have a beta already…I acquired one immediately after I was informed of the vodka incident…it is probably one of the most embarrassing experiences in my short career as a fic writer...and that's saying a lot!, _**jay – **_thank you for reading!,_ **Tsuyuno – **_wow! your reviews are very kind…I WOULD email you, except that I usually forget to do so after the first time…sorry!,_ **nightwing – **_thank you! I love writing…and plan to keep at it!_, **Shades – **_thank you for reading! more coming up…soon, I hope…if school decides to stop being evil!,_** Bubblie Bunnie – **_you're so cute!! thank you for reading and for your review!, _**FatalDreams-Seducer of Fantasy – **_hmmm…I spent all biology class thinking of a evil thing to happen to Malfoy…hope you enjoy the rest of the story to come!_


	13. Prince of Darkness

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 13:_ Prince of Darkness

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

Draco was dreaming.

He was in his summer estate in Switzerland, up in the beautiful mountains, all lush green fields and bright, round flowers. It was night time, so these were all hidden in shadows, merely different shades of dark blue and black. He was at the front door, welcoming guests. Did he invite his year group? It seemed like it.

_"Hello, Hermione, Ron. Good of you to come."_ He kissed Hermione's cheek, and shook Ron's hand cordially as they entered, smiling, waving, saying pleasant things that Draco could not understand as Hermione gave him a hug, and Ron clapped his shoulder, grinning. A flood of people rushed in behind them, and Draco could not keep track of them all, and could only nod and smile, passing out hugs as easily as handing out candy (why was he smiling?! He was _not_ a smiling person…and why was he _hugging_? He definitely was _not_ a hugging person…) and wave them all into the enormous living room.

The door was shut, and the doorbell rang. He opened it, and Harry was standing there, the porch lights giving him a golden glow. He stepped in. _"Draco,"_ he said, smiling hugely. 

_"Harry."_ Draco suddenly felt timid. He knew that this dream Harry did not like physical closeness, and so only held his arms out jokingly, a stupid grin on his face. _"Give me a hug."_

And to the surprise of his dream-self, who had been expecting only a laugh in return, he found himself swept up in a pair of strong arms that wrapped around him tightly. 

And then they were standing in the kitchen, looking through the curtains into the night sky above. The moon was round and white tonight. _"Look at the moon,"_ Harry said, smiling at Draco. _"Look at the moon."_

_"I am."_

A voice called to him. _"Draco, Draco, look over here. Look, Draco, Draco…"_ Draco turned towards the voice. It seemed to be mocking him. Laughing at him. Mocking. Yes, mocking.

_"Look at the moon,"_ said Harry. _"Look at the moon, Draco, look at the moon. Look at the moon."_

_"Draco, look over here. Over here, look, Draco, look."_

Draco kept turning his head quickly. _"I am, I am, I am,"_ he said desperately, trying to look both ways at once.

Harry's hand was a sudden warm weight on his. Draco stopped all movement and looked straight into deep green eyes. For a minute he thought he stopped breathing. And then chapped lips brushed against his before the entire house suddenly was empty and Draco was on the second floor, east wing, walking as he trailed fingers over smooth painted walls. He could still feel Harry's lips on his, could still feel the warmth of Harry's arm around his, and he felt strangely light and tingly as the sound of his footsteps soaked into the thick carpet.

And he sat down on the in the middle of the hallway and hugged himself.

And woke up.

He needed Harry. Desperately. But what was he to do? Was he to sneak into the Gryffindor dorm and crawl into his bed? Impossible. Preposterous. And what was he to say? _I had a dream about you and missed you._ Stupid.

Draco was seriously contemplating it.

But then he rolled over and began humming concertos and sonatas and symphonies as the four fingers on his left hand tapped the mattress rapidly under the covers, playing out imaginary music on his imaginary violin.

He stopped, head beginning to ache, fingers aching too, but in an entirely different way. Three fifteen in the morning. He got out of bed, washed up, dressed himself, and got his violin out, casting a Silencing Charm around his room just in case the music reverberated into the corridors echoed in the stones, amplifying the notes until they woke the Snakes in the dungeon.

Music was his life essence. It kept him alive every night. It kept him alive in day, if only in anticipation of its touch at night. 

***

"Draco." Crabbe and Goyle fell into step beside Draco, two huge looming figures on either side of him. Draco continued walking, glancing up at them and giving a small nod of greeting.

"Draco." Goyle tugged lightly on Draco's sleeve. "Me and Crabbe –"

"Crabbe and _I,_" corrected Crabbe.

"Whatever. We got letters from our fathers. About your…er, Christmas-Eve birthday party."

Draco stopped short in his tracks just as he was about to enter the Great Hall. Flashing a Look at them, he nodded once and led them to a dark corner, away from the trickles of students wandering to breakfast.

"So. You know." He looked up into their eyes, unafraid, calm and composed as always.

The two of them grunted in acknowledgement – "Uh" – and Goyle spoke again. "Draco – have you any…I don't know…ooooh _cookies_!" He cast an appreciative look at a passing Hufflepuff, who was holding a large plate of chocolate chip cookies she made herself. He shook his head, as did Crabbe, and the two of them focused on Draco again. "You know…like, any ideas?"

Draco sighed. "No."

"Would Potter have any ideas?"

Draco's eyes narrowed. "What?"

Crabbe coughed not quite surreptitiously. "It was. Rather. Eh. Obvious. Breakfast, you know." He waved his hand vaguely.

Goyle raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Well." He turned back to Draco. "Does he?"

Draco looked at the floor. "Does he what?"

"Have any? Ideas, that is."

"I don't know."

Crabbe spoke up again. "He must have gone to Dumbledore. I don't trust the old man."

"Neither do I."

"And neither do I," sighed Draco. "But he's the only thing we have right now. Or, rather, I have right now. You two still have some time, thank Merlin."

"My father said I had until I graduated. I guess that yours just wanted you to be the first out of us." By 'us', Goyle meant the collective children of all the Death Eaters. Crabbe nodded in agreement. He had gotten almost the same letter from his father.

"I'm not prepared to let myself get Marked and married just so I could become a minion that will breed miniature Death Eaters. I refuse to be my father all over again. Remember that pact we made all those years ago?"

"Of course," Goyle said. Crabbe nodded earnestly. How could they forget? Those solemn words they made, the three of them in a circle, swearing by their blood not to go down without a fight. All of them could still remember the exact detail of that day – how the moon was just beginning to rise, their dim lantern showing millions of dust particles floating in the room. How Crabbe had breathed so loudly with this mouth they thought he was hyperventilating or having some type of attack…How Goyle had covered his eight year old face, wanting yet unable to keep from peeking between chubby fingers. And how Draco had just looked – not stared, not gaped, just looked – looked and didn't move, didn't breathe loudly through his mouth, didn't squeeze his eyes shut, didn't look scared – just looked, and he was blank, indifferent, composed. As if it didn't matter, as if he was just looking because it was there. It made him appear arrogant and cold-hearted, but all three of them knew that it was his heart that was breaking as they all stood there one warm summery evening.

"It won't happen, Draco." Crabbe spoke quietly, in a firm, determined voice, and Draco instantly nodded, knowing he could trust his two best friends. 

Goyle jabbed Crabbe in the ribs, cracking a huge grin. "Yeah. In any case, Potter's gonna save 'im, eh?"

Crabbe rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to say how many errors you made in that sentence. But, yes. Draco – Potter may be your only hope."

Draco scowled sourly. "I don't like that. My _only_ hope?" He shook his head. "I _really_ don't like that. Worse than Dumbledore."

"Do be reasonable. Is there any other way…?" Goyle raised his eyebrows at Draco.

"No," Crabbe answered for him. "Dumbledore isn't going to risk anything for us. For _any_ of us, much less you. I hate to point it out to you, but you're a Malfoy."

"I know all that!" Draco snapped. "I'm not _stupid_ you know!"

"Duh," said Goyle. "Who whined because he got three hundred and twenty two percent on his History of Magic exam last year and wouldn't shut up about it because a certain _Mudblood_ got three hundred and twenty _three _percent?"

Draco glared. "It was a bad mark."

"Three hundred and twenty two percent?" 

"I got twenty two percent," offered Crabbe.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Look, we're moving away from the point here. Number one – you two know. I was wondering how to tell you anyway – saves me the trouble. Number two – I am at the point where I am going crazy. And number three, I am even willing to accept help from Dumbledore and Potter, but I won't go begging for it."

"Number four, you've started again, haven't you?" said Goyle accusingly, tone of voice changing suddenly. He blinked, and his eyes went from glazed over to sharp and beady. 

"What do you mean _started again_?" Draco looked away.

"I mean, when you said that you were going crazy. I remember the last time you told us that, Draco, don't think I don't."

Crabbe grunted in agreement.

Draco started tapping his fingers against his robes, mimicking violin playing. "And what _happened _exactly, _Gregory_?"

Goyle glared menacingly, looming over Draco. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, _Draco_. You and your – "

"Perhaps we should get to breakfast?" Crabbe cut in. "I'm rather hungry." He cast them meaningful looks as a horde of Gryffindors stumbled past them into the Great Hall. In the middle of the throng was Potter, tired and haggard, but eyes alert and watchful, already darting around the Hall, searching, watching, seeing.

"We must keep up appearances, Draco. If Goyle and I received letters, the rest of Slytherin did as well. Those that are not jealous are genuinely happy about the…arrangement, and I think perhaps that is even more dangerous."

Draco nodded and lifted his chin. "Right. Breakfast." He took a step, and Goyle and Crabbe watched as their friend vanished and their leader took his place, eyes cool and calculating, looking down at everyone else present.

***

Breakfast was a stony, silent affair at the Gryffindor table. After the events of dinner last evening, plus the not quite secret argument last night, the atmosphere was more than a little chilly.

Harry sat between Hermione and Ron, picking at his breakfast. He could already feel a now-familiar pressure against his temples. Hermione was eating methodically, seemingly indifferent to the subdued people around her.

"Hermione?" said Ron quietly, so only the three of them would hear. "Hermione, come on. I just want to talk to you."

"There is nothing to talk about." She spoke in short, clipped tones, and Ron frowned at her words.

"Come on," he wheedled. 

"Leave me be. Go…fuck a girl or something."

Ron bristled, and his voice rose to a shout. "Well _excuse me_ for trying to be nice to you, _Hermione_. You're the one that's not trying here. I'm _trying_ to make things right again."

Hermione continued eating her breakfast, head down. "There is nothing to make right again."

The look in Ron's eyes flickered, and Harry cast him a worried look, watching the exchange between them like a tennis spectator. Trying to compose himself, he stuttered, "Fine then. If you want it that way."

Harry's headache was _blistering_. This was _it._ He dragged them to the end of the Great Hall, away from all gossiping ears and eyes. "You two," he began crossly. "You two should just stop all this and _grow up_. We all said things that may have hurt each other, and I'm _not_ about to choose between the two of you just because you guys can't be mature and talk things through and apologise for whatever hurt you may have caused. Ron – I was very disappointed in you last night. I didn't say it then, so I'll say it now. You're my best friend, and I go along with almost everything you say or do, but what you said last night to Hermione was just _too much_. Hermione – you're my best friend too, and I want you to try and forgive Ron, or at least allow the two of you to work through this together because by the _Gods_ you two are _scaring _me, okay?"

He sighed, and rubbed his eyes. Hermione looked at him carefully. "All the stress, Harry," she said softly. "It must be getting to you. We aren't helping, are we?" 

He shook his head. "You two are my best friends," he began.

Hermione held up a hand and cut him off. "That is no excuse. I know the pressure you're under right now, Harry, so yes, I am willing to work things out with Ron so you won't have to worry about us." She glared at Ron. "Right?"

He glared back. "Yeah."

Harry sighed. "Good. Now. Let's get back and you two can find a time and place to just _talk things through_." He said this all through gritted teeth, and Hermione could see the beginnings of a vein showing in his forehead.

_Fuck_, his head hurt.

So the three of them sat down again, and even though the tension between them was not entirely resolved, it was enough to start the usual chatter at Gryffindor table again.

Harry's headache amplified, but he managed a weak smile as Hermione and Ron sniped at each other, but in a much friendlier way.

And then Draco and his goons swept into the Hall, his robes swirling around him, footsteps steady and sure, arms swinging loosely by his sides. They sat down at the Slytherin table, and immediately, at least half the house began swarming around Draco excitedly, while he just sat there in the middle of it all, glaring, speaking words that made some back away, almost in tears from their cutting harshness.

Harry knew what they the Slytherins were so excited about. The morning's deluge of owls to their table had concluded one thing: the Death Eater children knew. He scowled into his plate of eggs and bacon. How could Draco manage to stay so calm through it all? How could he just sit there, pretending that it's all he's ever wanted because that's what he worked towards when it's not and when he was in Harry's arms last night worried sick that he would have to go through with it?

Unable to look away, Harry watched Draco as he played his part perfectly. Prince of Darkness. Ice Prince of Slytherin. He sat up straight in his chair, barely moving, staring unblinkingly as some tried to fawn over him. Harry watched his lips part and move gently to release sharp words that cut them down. Cut them _all_ down. The jealous ones tried to glare at him from their seats, but were unsuccessful and had to lower their gaze when Draco's own steel-grey one met theirs. And then Harry's heart froze when Draco's eyes suddenly shifted to look directly at him. It was a hostile look, but Harry knew that if Draco let his mask slip, it would be the death of the Prince.  

Harry blinked. He hadn't realised that they had been staring at each other so long that his eyes hurt. 

Draco didn't blink.

***

"Right-o then." Headmaster Dumbledore clapped his hands together delightedly. "It's all decided then. Severus, Minerva, I trust you remember your assigned tasks, no need to go over them again. We'll have another meeting tomorrow evening to discuss the events of today's agenda again." He checked the time. "Ooh, lucky us, twenty minutes left of breakfast. I hope that there are still pancakes left. I do love pancakes, you know."

Snape sniffed, while Professor McGonagall merely raised an eyebrow before rising out of her chair. "If you'll excuse me, Albus. I still have some work to do before class starts."

After she left, Dumbledore turned to Snape, twinkling merrily. "Severus! Do join me for breakfast. Come along now." He stood up and began dragging an unwilling Snape out of his office in a manner most _unbecoming_ of a Hogwarts professor, much less the Headmaster.

***

Narcissa Malfoy hummed as she applied her makeup on just so. She hummed as she pinned on her earrings and slipped on her bracelets and rings. She hummed as she draped chains of diamond and gold around her neck, and she hummed as she went down to breakfast.

Narcissa Malfoy was an optimist.

Unlike her pessimistic Capricorn son, she was an overly optimistic Sagittarian. 

She could not see the silver lining in _this_ motherfucker of a cloud, but she was determined to persevere and make the best out of it for her son. She frowned. Her son? Lucius' son. The Malfoy son, perhaps? Her son? No.

She shrugged her shoulders and went to breakfast, sharing a large table with Lucius, each of them at one end, barely able to make out the other's features, never mind talking.

But then, Malfoys never were big on mealtime conversations.

Narcissa Malfoy was happy. Because she knew that if she let herself know she was so unhappy, she would lose her sanity. And her son, especially her son.

Narcissa Malfoy loved her son. Draco. The dear, sweet angel that used to come to Mommy for hugs, but stopped when Lucius slapped the four year old and told him to "be a man". Narcissa remembered crying on the other side of the door as her four year old Draco-angel scratched and wailed and screamed, wanting out of the "big dark" and wanting the safety of Mommy's arms.

Narcissa Malfoy adored her husband. Hated him, but adored him.

If she hadn't married Lucius, she wouldn't have had Draco. 

Narcissa Malfoy was an optimist.

And she loved her son very, very much.

Narcissa Malfoy never remembered fighting with Lucius. She was smart enough to know that she would die for such insubordinate behaviour. So she nodded and agreed to join the Death Eaters with him, agreed to go on Muggle-killings and tortures with him, agreed to inch closer into the Dark Lord's Inner Circle with him until the Malfoys became the most trusted Death Eaters.

Like how she agreed to conduct marriage arrangements for Draco when Lucius told her to.

Narcissa Malfoy knew why the Dark Lord preferred couples. She knew it was because they work so much better as partners – and wizards scarcely ever divorce because their magic has to match for them to match as well. 

Wizarding marriages have a 0.001% divorce rate all over the world. 

Narcissa Malfoy also knew that the Dark Lord preferred couples because it meant that baby Death Eaters would be born and trained early on and be able to fight early on and would be _better_ because they started everything earlier on. Because by teaching their babies about their Lord, it means that their babies will have it hardwired into them to obey and be obedient. 

Narcissa Malfoy knows that this will mean that the number of security leaks will decrease, and the Dark Lord's force will become all the more stronger.

Narcissa Malfoy knew this seventeen years ago. And seventeen years later, now, she knows that the Death Eater babies are all grown up and itching to join the ranks of their parents.

Narcissa Malfoy loves Draco more for his stubbornness. She doesn't know why, but she loves him even more for it. She couldn't tell him, of course, because Lucius would say that she was making Draco soft and vulnerable, so she doesn't.

Narcissa Malfoy loves her son.

To Be Continued!!!

I'm so sorry this took so long! I had so many exams and tests and it was all just so crazy! Plus, I had an extra strange case of writer's block – I am writing bits of the future chapters but nothing for the current ones. Future as in the second part of this fic future. As in after all the stuff happens future. As in…you know. Future? Strange. Anyhow, thank you very very much for reading, and for your patience as well! :)

**Notes:  **Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! I appreciate it so much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, **Anne Phoenix** – _I'm glad you liked "The Boy Who Lived For You"…it's one of my favourites as well!_, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair_,_ AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, **chrisseee67** – _I'm really happy that you liked the chapter! This story will be in two parts, and the first part will probably be** at least 20 chapters**, perhaps? I'm not sure whether or not to but the two parts together or separate into story and sequel…we'll see!_, Rosetta, deadredsocks, **JadeDragon** – _I'm so so so happy you liked the last chapter! Your comments were beautiful, thank you!_, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, Chireel, Scap, **TanisaFyre** – _Hi! Thank you for your review! As for your curse…well, I guess by this point we can safely say that Lucius might be subjected to it?_, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, AmZ – _I hope you liked this chapter, even though it is decidedly less sexy than the last_, mistykasumi_, _Morien Alexander_, _**Jubilee** – _Sorry I couldn't update any soon! School is *really* bad right now…and thank YOU for your review! Made my day :) (p.s. go Hermione!), _amethyst_, _Portuguese-Girl_,_ IamtheLizardQueen_, _Green-and-Silver, Bizzle, Anna_, _jay_,_ **Tsuyuno**_ – I tend to 'lose' fics as well, since ff.net is so big! Thank you for your review!,_ nightwing, Shades_,_ **Bubblie Bunnie **–_ I'm really glad to find out that the sad parts really are sad and not lame attempts at trying to *be* sad! GO SLYTHERIN!!!! YAY!!!!, _**FatalDreams-Seducer of Fantasy** – _Thank you for reading! I hope you like this chapter as much as the other ones!_, **Aurenne** – _Thank you for reading! I'm glad that at least some people read the beginning quotes…but no quote this time cause I didn't really find a suitable one…, _**ruz** – _Your review was very sweet, thank you!_, **Silmarien** – _Thank you for your review, and I hope you keep on reading this not-so-little fic!, _**Anita Blake – **_Thank you for reviewing! I'll see what I can do about Snape and Dumbie…and I'm *definitely* going to consider your comment about Hermione and her fist in Ron's face…interesting!, _**Rings of Saturn – **_Let's all keep our fingers crossed and hope that Draco doesn't get Marked…cause I sure am!, _**Black Night – **_I'm afraid it's taken a month again…or has it been longer? eeee! don't explode!!!,_** ljp **– _Thank YOU for reading and reviewing! It really means a lot to me, thank you!, _**Kitori – **_Thank you for all those wonderful comments about the characters! I guess I needed Draco to have someone besides Harry to talk to, you know? I made up an OC because, like you said, he's usually engaged to Pansy…_, **crimson nightmare** – _Thank you for your beautiful comment! Voldemort's sick desires are rather…perverted in nature…*shifty eyes*…I hope this chapter answered why V likes couples, in the very least! And…I don't write very good summaries, so…yes.,_** But Siriusly – **_Oh my, I love your name! I'm sorry I don't have a chapter/mailing list thing but perhaps I will set one up soon? Thank you for reading!, _**Natalie – **_Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.,  _**Silent Angel – **_To be honest, I'd feel the same if Harry was paired with anyone but Draco…heeheehee…thank you very much for reading!_,**Cathy – **_Er…sorry??? I *would* write sooner, but I really *do* have a lot of schoolwork. It'll lighten up soon, I hope…because I'm itching to write as well! Hope you continue to read my little story!, _**Shikala**_ – Okie :) I guess it would also help if I know what's going to happen…but thank you for reading and reviewing!_


	14. Memories of Forever

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 14:_ Memories of Forever

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

_"I'm bored," Draco whined._

_Crabbe grunted. Goyle didn't even reply. _

_"What shall we do now?" asked Draco, swinging a leg off the bench. He was lying back on it, lengthwise, arms crossed behind his head. The three of them were in one of the gardens on the Malfoy estate, trying to entertain themselves while their parents had a meeting with other parents about "important business"._

_"Dunno," Goyle muttered. It was a bit too hot under the afternoon sun to talk. Crabbe just grunted again._

_"Let's go into Father's study. It'll be nice and cool, and there'll be lots of interesting things to look at."_

_"I dunno," said Goyle warily. "It's a bad thing when you go somewhere when they say people can't go in."_

_"Trespassing," Crabbe corrected._

_  
"Whatever," said Goyle._

_Draco glared. "Let's go."_

_Goyle sighed and stood up, brushing his trousers off. "Sure." Crabbe grunted, and started to get himself off the ground._

_---_

_"Oh, _wow_," said Draco, taking a slim book out from the tall bookcase. "Look, a book on the different potions that can mute someone. Volume one," he read off the spine. "Temporary, but painful."_

_Crabbe took the book eagerly, seeing the lavish illustrations as Draco flipped through it quickly and tossed it down, and Goyle tried to peek over his enormous shoulder as Draco continued to rummage amongst the titles, perched on the rolling ladder that carried him around the room from ceiling to floor._

_The three of them had been here all afternoon, and now the sun was setting outside, casting long, dark shadows into the room. "Draco, I'm lighting a lamp. Can't read the books – too dark."_

_"Whatever," came the reply._

_Goyle shook his head and lit a lamp, setting it on the stand where he and Crabbe were standing around before lighting another one and passing it to Draco._

_"Look, here's an encyclopaedia on hexes. How simply _splendid_." Draco practically squealed, and Goyle suspected he would have done so, were squealing not a forbidden act for Malfoys._

_"Eh," said Goyle._

_"Eh," said Crabbe._

_"Hey, look, this one doesn't have a title."_

_"Lots of books ain't got none."_

_"Don't have one."_

_"Whatever."_

_"But Father always labels them anyway, so he can keep track of which ones are cursed and which ones say which and which ones burn your eyes out if you read it. He never has a book without a title or label." Draco climbed down from the ladder gingerly, steadying himself with one hand as his other arm clutched the thick, thick book to his chest. He dropped the book onto the reading stand, and it fell with a muffled 'thump', dust wafting from it and illuminated by their lamp._

_The book itself was spectacularly covered, and its thick ebony wood cover had designs carved on so they protruded like molten piles of silver. They didn't know what the symbol on the front stood for – only that it looked – "Cool," said Crabbe, trailing fingers over the motif. _

_"Come on, let's see. I want to see," said Draco, pulling on Crabbe so that he now stood in the middle._

_"Draco, do you think your father would mind if we looked at it? I mean – it doesn't have a label, you know. What if it's not…safe?" Goyle pulled at his sleeve worriedly._

_"Father would not mind. The unsafe ones always have labels. And if anything happens to us, he'll fix it when he gets back," replied Draco, with the air of one that had complete confidence that Father would make everything right for Draco because he always did and always will._

_"Alright then," Goyle said, but he was still unsure._

_Crabbe was biting on his fingers. He had a bad feeling about this. One that he couldn't pinpoint, but he knew it wouldn't be a good idea if they read this particular book – even though it _did_ have an _awesome_ design on the front, and the 3D carving on it was _SO AWESOME_…but Draco wanted to see it and he didn't want to get hexed for being a coward._

_The three of them held their breath as Draco opened the page._

_They stood there, silent, as they drunk in the images off the page. They stood there, silent, as the image finished playing itself and Draco reached out with one pale, slim hand and turned the page. And they stood, silent, until the image finished and he turned the page again._

_The horrors seemed to increase with each page, as did the volume and number of screams that accompanied it._

_Upon the opening of the cover, Draco immediately knew what this book was. He didn't know if Crabbe and Goyle knew, but by the fifth page, it was obvious even to them. How could it be not? The sight of their parents there – father and mother in a pair, always father and mother together – working – WORKING – is this what they called working?_

_Crabbe felt his throat constricting, and the room suddenly felt too small. He was dizzy – but he wanted – no, he _needed_ to keep on watching. Oh, but how his lungs hurt with each painful breath drawn. It hurt. It hurt so, so bad._

_Goyle let out a small 'meep' as Draco turned the page and this time it was his parents – his parents only – and who was that figure? A Muggle girl, no older than they, stripped naked and chained to the dungeon walls next to the similarly naked bodies of her parents. All three were bleeding from cuts and lacerations, but these were nothing compared to the Cruciatus curses hurled at them over and over again, seemingly on a whim. Goyle's hands instinctively went to cover his face, but he could not restrain himself from peeking between his fingers – wanting – needing to see his parents creating such horror._

_And then Draco turned the page again and just stood. And stood. And stood, unblinking, unmoving. He didn't even seem to be breathing. The image stopped, but this time, he did not reach out and turn the page. He merely stood, watching, as the image paused and began to play itself again. And again. And again, as the screams and pleas echoed through the room, ringing in their ears._

_At that moment, Crabbe knew that the three of them would never forget these screams. Especially not Draco, who had been standing, watching, lost memories of soft hugs, sweet perfume and melodious lullabies clogging his senses as the unmistakeably Malfoy blonde hair glimmered on the page, the unmistakeably Malfoy eyes crying and a pair of unmistakeably Malfoy eyes filled with rage. Draco can't remember having seen her before, yet he knew her as a dragon would know its cubs._

_Grandmother Malfoy. Hung on the wall by chains, the rich fabric of her designer robes torn and caked with mud and dirt, hung like a common Muggle or Squib. _

_Torture. For what seemed hours on end…and then murder. By her own son. _

_Lucius Malfoy._

_Father.  _

***

He should have known.

He should have known that he didn't deserve such love. He didn't deserve the daily rose and heart-shaped chocolate he found every morning on his nightstand – he loved roses, and he loved chocolate, but he loved Harry more. He didn't deserve the hidden embraces and stolen kisses in dark corridors at all times of the day, just around the corner from teachers and students alike. He didn't deserve the short loving notes tossed onto his desk in the middle of classes, and in Potions, the notes that couldn't be read because bad aim threw them into his bubbling cauldron instead. He didn't deserve any of it. 

He didn't deserve the love of Harry Potter. 

Love – _love!_ He was loved – perhaps for the first time in his life, someone loved him. And for the first time in his life, he wanted to laugh, laugh and shout _look, mother, I'm in love with Harry Potter – and he loves me back so much!_

He was not worthy of it, not from Harry. Not for someone like him.

" - scum like you deserve nothing more than nothing," Weasley spat at him. "Not even hatred from Harry, and certainly not anything more."

_I know, I know…_

"Then I wonder what he's doing with a beggar and a Mudblood to the likes of you and Granger," he snarled in retort.

"Ron, stop that! Draco, please, _please_," Harry tugged weakly at his sleeve while fending off Weasley, blocking the much larger boy from Draco with his own body. Draco _knew_ that if Harry wasn't using himself as a shield, then Weasley would have begun pummelling him to the ground already.

"Harry, he's gotten you bloody brainwashed! Didn't you just hear what he called me and Hermione?!" Weasley was livid, face darkened enough to almost hide his freckles.

Harry turned to his best friend. "Of course I heard, I'm not deaf! Just – stop with your comments, you're only going to provoke him further!"

"Oh, so you're taking _his_ side now, aren't you?" Weasley sneered.

"He's not _taking sides_, you dirty sewer rat!" Draco roared, at the same time Harry screamed, "_I'm not taking sides!"_

Silence, except for the sound of heavy breathing from Weasley and Harry. 

It was Harry who spoke first. "Ron, why don't you go to Hermione – she's been waiting for quite some time now. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Weasley moved to speak again, glaring daggers at Draco, but Harry cut in again, speaking in a firm, no-nonsense voice. "Ron."

Weasley swept from the room, still glaring at Draco.

Harry sagged against Draco. "I'm sorry," he whispered, clinging to him almost desperately, stroking his hair so, so gently.

Draco was shocked. Harry? _Harry_ was sorry? What?!

Light kisses traced his skin, and Harry was still murmuring to him, "…don't listen to him, so sorry you had to hear that…_I love you still_…don't listen to anything he said, they're lies, all lies…"

He hadn't really listened to Weasley's mad ramblings and so had no idea what Harry was talking about.

"That's alright." 

Harry stopped his feverish kisses and looked him straight in the eye. "Draco…Hermione knows already. But Ron…Ron's my best friend. Do you think maybe…?"

"I have nothing against Granger," said Draco airily. "And I suspected she knew because she actually talked to me privately after one of our Prefect meetings. Really nicely as well. Called me Draco and everything. Just because she's a Mudblood –" 

"Draco!"

"Shh. I'm not done yet. Like I was_ saying_, just because she's a Mudblood doesn't mean that I have to hate her, you know. I actually quite like her now. It's just rickrack like Weasley I can't stand."

"Draco!" wailed Harry. "That's so mean!"

He pulled away. "Well it's true," he said firmly. "I haven't insulted him, I haven't insulted his family, I haven't insulted _Granger_ since we…you know. Do you know how difficult that was? And it was all out of respect for _you_. And now, he finds out about us, and it's _still _my fault? What, is _everything_ my fault? _You_ came to _me_, you know, and I think that's something you're going to have to tell him."

"I know, I know, but." Harry sighed. "Couldn't you have been maybe a bit more accommodating just now?"

"What, with him spitting insults at me, my father, my family, at my _name_ and at what I _am_? You know very well yourself that I am not a Death Eater – yet," he added, looking away. His gaze darted back to Harry quickly, icy and fiery all at once. "And I just _stood_ there, sucking it up until he mentioned you." Draco scowled fiercely. 

Harry sighed. "I know. I was there."

"Then you should know it's not my fault." Draco twisted away from him, crossing his arms in a huff. 

Harry immediately tried to pacify him, sweeping him into his sturdy hold, nuzzling into his neck. "Don't be mad, Draco. I wasn't angry with you, I was just…I don't know. You know? It's Ron."

"Eh," Draco grumbled. 

"I have to go now. I'll talk some sense into Ron. Hermione will, at any rate. Just. Will you be alright? I _knew_ I shouldn't have come today, I really shouldn't have." Harry sighed again as he stepped away from Draco.

"Great, now it's _my_ fault again for _making_ you come?"

"No! No, Draco, I didn't mean it like that. I just. Even if you didn't want to see me, I would have tried to find you just the same. Just. I don't know."

"Well _find out_ then. You can't always not know."

"I just. I don't want you to be mad at me. And I don't want you to be mad at Ron either."

"I'm not mad. Who said I was mad?"

"I can just tell, Draco. You're frowning again."

"So? I can't just frown?"

"I never said that."

"No, but you said that you can tell I'm mad just because I'm frowning." 

"I have to go now."

"So go." Draco's head whipped round to glare at him viciously.

Harry just looked at him, a strange emotion in his eyes. Draco sniffed and turned back to his original position, but he could still sense Harry's slow movements towards the door and the soft click as it shut behind him.

Crumpling to the floor, Draco's hands went to his face and he clutched at his head desperately.

_oh it hurts it hurts it hurts_

Pain. Pain so pure, so full of anguish it surprised Draco that he lasted so long without blowing up – literally. He wasn't sorry for anything he said to the fucker Weasley, but he was sorry for being so harsh with Harry. But it didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered, because the slow pounding was all that counted.

_so sorry Harry but it just hurts so much I can't - _

He fished a small bottle out from the folds of his robes and twisted the cap off, taking a huge gulp of it, wincing at its bitterness. 

_One, two, three…_

Counting slowly to himself, he waited until his head felt sufficiently light before getting up clumsily and stumbling out of the room. He knew he really should stop – it was going to kill him sooner or later if his doses increased any more – but he didn't care. Just a mouthful – sometimes two – and his pain subsided until the effects wore off and he needed another sip.

He crashed into the wall outside, having overbalanced as he closed the door, and his head knocked harshly against the sharp stone. He wiped at his head clumsily and wondered idly why his fingers came away red and glistening before toppling off down the corridor once more. 

Sleep sounded good just then.

***

"_What do you mean YOU KNEW?!_" Ron's enraged shout rang through the Great Hall, and all eyes turned towards the pair at the end of Gryffindor table.

Hermione glared. "I figured it out myself. And sit down, you fool." She reached across the table and pulled Ron back down into his seat.

"Hermione," he hissed. "You _knew_ about Harry and Malfoy and you never _told_ me? How long? For them? And you?"

"I knew you were going to act like you are now. So I told Harry to tell you himself." Hermione frowned. She wasn't feeling especially compliant towards Ron at the moment, and he was already getting on her nerves. "I've known for a couple weeks."

"And how long have they…" He couldn't even say the words.

"A couple of weeks."

"So you knew since the _beginning_ and you never even _hinted_ it to me?!"

"He wasn't supposed to tell you!"

"But he didn't!" 

"He was probably just waiting for the right time, Ron. After all – he knew you'd react like this, and he had to think of a way to tell you that would be least traumatising."

"Least traumatising?! Anything he has with Malfoy would be traumatising no matter how it was put!" Ron was standing up again, and he leaned over the table, looming over Hermione. "And _why didn't you_ tell me about it?"

"I told you already! It wasn't my secret to tell! And I knew you'd be acting like this, so I never pushed Harry to tell you!" Hermione had stood up as well, and the two were almost nose to nose over the wide table.

"Of course not," he sneered. "Harry was too busy sucking cock and you were too busy fucking your bloody loyal Hufflepuff."

It was a small blessing that he said all this in a tight, angry whisper so no one but Hermione heard anything he said. Most of the students in the Hall thought they were just having another not-exactly-lover's spat.

This time, Hermione was more angry than hurt. "Ronald Weasley! You should be _ashamed_ of yourself. Yes, Harry likes boys. Half your brothers do. Yes, Harry likes Draco. Is that so hard for you to accept? And _don't_ –" she held up a hand to stop him cutting in, " - try to bring me into this. We were supposed to have settled this two weeks ago, Ron. I'm saying this for the last time – _my love life is none of your business_. Now if you know what's good for you and Harry, you'll listen to what he has to say when he comes in."

"I don't have to listen to anything," he growled, and stalked out of the Great Hall.

Hermione sunk back into her seat, brushing her hair out of her face tiredly. She rather wished Ron would just _grow up_ and mellow out a bit. Sighing, she opened her Arithmancy textbook and resumed her studying.

"Hey Hermione."

She looked up and smiled. "Harry."

Harry looked around. "Where's Ron?"

Hermione shrugged. "He just left."

"Oh." Harry fidgeted and drummed his fingers on the tabletop. "Um, Hermione. Um. Ron kinda walked in on me and Draco just now when we were – ah." He blushed brightly.

Hermione nodded and patted his tapping hand. "I know."

"Did he – say anything particularly…bad?"

"Well. It's just the usual prejudice he has against Malfoy." But something in her eye must have given her away because Harry began wringing his hands in a strangely maternal way.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione!" Harry looked distraught. "If I had known he'd blame you, or drag you into this, I would've told him so much sooner. It's just – well, with schoolwork and all the meetings with Dumbledore I have now and Draco, I just. I just…"

"I know, Harry. I know." Hermione smiled comfortingly at him. "Draco needs you right now, Harry. I know something big is going on, and I know that Draco hasn't been well – ill a lot, am I right?" 

Harry nodded. "I would tell you except it's not my secret to tell – you know how it is. I just needed to see him today because he had one of his migraine-type headaches again. It makes him hurt all over, and he hurts even when I touch him, no matter how gently I do, and it kills me to see him like this, Hermione, I just couldn't stand it, and somehow Ron just walked in on us when I was kissing him, and…" He sighed.

"Did they fight?"

"Ron did. Draco held off until Ron mentioned me."

Hermione looked impressed. "You do realise that Ron is making himself into a total git? He's become the bad guy here, not Draco."

"I know." Harry sighed. "I just feel so…bad…about the whole thing."

Hermione sighed. "Believe me, Harry, I know."

***

Crabbe and Goyle found Draco passed out in the corridor just in front of the Slytherin common room. They sighed, and Goyle muttered a quick healing spell for the cut on Draco's forehead before Crabbe lifted the delicate boy into his arms and the two of them brought him to bed, tucking him in.

Goyle sighed. "It's gonna kill you if you keep at it, Draco."

Crabbe looked confused for a second. "His arsenic? All Malfoys can hold their arsenic."

Goyle slapped him. "No, you bloody idiot. The _thing_. Remember – he made us never mention it ever since…last time."

"Oh."

"I wonder if we should tell Potter."

"But…"

"I know, I know. Just. He needs some control over it, you know?"

The two of them were silent for a while, just watching their friend sleep.

It was Crabbe who spoke first. "Do you get the feeling sometimes, Greg, that we're all just living a story? When sometimes you look at Draco and you think 'There's no way life can suck that much'?"

Goyle laughed quietly. "I sure wish we were in a story then, Vincent, because then Draco wouldn't be killing himself this way and we wouldn't be our father's pawns and somehow – just somehow – there'd be a happily ever after out there for us – especially for Draco."

And then Goyle clicked off the lights as Crabbe switched the nightlight on, and they left silently, shutting the door gently behind them.

To Be Continued…!

I just want to thank everyone that's still reading – I know my writing hasn't really been up to standard for chapters 13 and 14…I don't know. Ah well. I hope it'll improve soon, because things should start to pick up soon. Really soon. 

And now…for very very lengthy thank you notes – because your reviews just make me want to glomp you all!!!!!

**Notes:  Thank you so so so so so much for bearing my stupid block so patiently. It's still here and I think it's getting worse. Eh. Hee!** Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair_,_ AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, **Aurora** – _Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you liked this chapter!_, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, chrisseee67, Rosetta, deadredsocks, **JadeDragon **– _I am *relieved* that you liked the last chapter. Being as superstitious as me, I believe that 13 and 14 are bad numbers (14 meaning 'must die' if pronounced crookedly in Cantonese) and I have this dark cloud hanging over me that these two chapter would be really really bad. LOL, your encouragement means a lot to me – thank you!!!!_, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, Chireel, Scap, **TanisaFyre** – _Ooh, interesting point you have about Narcissa. *nods* But do you think maybe she's unwilling to do anything about it because it might mean that Draco might be harmed as a result of her actions? A mother's love overrides everything…Very very interesting point though, I'm going to have to think seriously about it._, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, AmZ, **mistykasumi**_ – Thank you so much for your review…and yes! The strange writers' block you mentioned drives me completely up the wall as well!!!, _Morien Alexander_, _**Jubilee**_ – Wow, my first threat! (well, kind of…) Thank you for your review, and I'm *so* glad you like Clear so much…I actually had this chapter done a lot earlier (at least a week and a half), but I really hated how it turned out, so I rewrote it…, _amethyst_, _Portuguese-Girl_,_ IamtheLizardQueen_, _Green-and-Silver, Bizzle, Anna_, _jay_,_ **Tsuyuno**_ – I'm glad you liked the beginning, and is mellow at the end a good or bad thing? Hm. Maybe exciting the whole way through is better, hee! Hope you keep on reading – and thank you SO much for putting me as a favourite. I feel all cuddly now!,_ nightwing, Shades_,_ Bubblie Bunnie_, _FatalDreams-Seducer of Fantasy, Aurenne_, _**ruz** – _I guess my Narcissa is a bit of a weird one…and the part you were confused about – I think she was having some internal dialogue, since that part was written in her POV. She mentioned Draco as her son, but then decided that it wasn't the correct label for him, so she called him Lucius' son, and the Malfoy son. And then she said "Her son? No." to mean that even though he *was* her son, he wasn't really, because strictly speaking, he wasn't *her*son…um. You know? I think it is because she was never a proper mother, and so he could never be "hers". I just hope I didn't make it more confusing for you…_, **Silmarien**_ – Thank you for reading and reviewing! Your comments really mean a lot to me – I completely understand about waiting for stories (I do it a lot, too), and I wish I could hurry it up sometimes, but it's hard…hope you understand., _**Anita Blake**_ – You are so very right about Draco! He will be snapping, soon, but it may or may not be in a very obvious way. Or maybe he'll snap *after* Christmas? I'm glad you liked the blinking part – I liked it too. Narcissa will play a part at a crucial time, but will unlikely to become a very very important and main character, I think. Reviews make my day completely, and thanks are definitely in order :D, _Rings of Saturn_, _Black Night_,_ ljp_, _**Kitori** – _Hmm, I hope this chapter provided a little background into that pact of theirs. Draco's b-day is Christmas Eve, and I'm not so sure about Narcissa – since she's a Sagittarian, I think she has a greater-than-usual interest in stars, or perhaps just people's personalities and their sign. Thank you for your review!_, **crimson nightmare**_ – Wee! So happy you like my Narcissa. I hope she gets a better life, too. Maybe soon. Maybe next life. Maybe…heehee! *waves little Harry flags* there'll be some problems along the way, but hopefully Harry will still be our hero! or rather, Draco's hero! I still need to work in Voldie's sick SICK desires for Draco, so keep a lookout!!!! :D Thank you for reviewing!!!,_ But Siriusly_, _Natalie_,  _Silent Angel,Cathy_, _**Shikala** – _Eee! Don't cry! *hands tissue* I do hope you're crying because you liked chapter 13!!_, **TheUnknownJedi – **_Thank you very very much for reading and reviewing! I hope you like this chapter just as much as the others. I love that you love it!!!!, _**M-chan – **_my brother is a Capricorn as well! Except he was born on the 26th, not the 24th like Draco. I'm glad you liked Crabbe and Goyle – I know they're stupid, but I like to think that there are more to them than just being mindless henchmen. I share the same view as you about Narcissa – her love for her son is enough to keep her quiet and obedient even to someone like Lucius – at first for her own life, and later, for her son's., _**Spike Shinizzle – **_Woman, actually, lol! I'm glad you enjoyed my story so much, it makes me so happy to know people like what I write. As for Dumbledore – he probably has a few somethings up his sleeves…and I guess Draco grew his hair out to be more like his father???, _**LunarGlow20 – **_Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing! I'm happy to know that you stayed up reading because you found it addictive – though I can't say that staying up is a good thing to do (so naturally, I'm practically nocturnal, lol!). Hope you like this chapter!, _**Mystic-Flower – **_Oh wow! I'm so happy you gave my little story a chance…and Harry/Draco a chance as well! Thank you for your review, and keep reading!!!! :D_


	15. Home

_Title:_ Clear

_Chapter 15:_ Home

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

Fourteenth of December.

Exactly a week until end of term. 

Between the fight last month and now, Harry had been cornered by Crabbe and Goyle, the next day after the "Incident", as they called it, and had been told using no uncertain terms that they would literally beat him to a pulp if anything else happened to Draco and that counted being yelled at by Ron. Ginny and Seamus had come out as a couple and in the Great Hall, when this became public knowledge, Harry had seen a sudden light in Draco's eyes, as if a previous matter was now gone. Hermione had broken up with Justin two days ago, and Ron was still mad at the world.

Meanwhile, the Earth had continued to spin, the Moon had continued to wax and wan, the Sun had continued to rise easterly and set in the west, and the Universe had continued to expand.

Harry, however, had begun to feel the strain on Draco's and his relationship. Draco was turning away from him, pushing him away, and when  Harry had gone to Crabbe and Goyle, worried, they had given each other looks that spoke of secrets, and told Harry to try his best to be patient with Draco.

So he had tried. But it had been hard. Many, many times he almost lost patience, but then he remembered it was Draco – Draco who cried, Draco who smirked, Draco who could make his most biting words sound like loving caresses towards him. Draco, who he loved.

And so he had kept trying.

But now he failed.

Only a week to go, but he couldn't do it.

And at the moment of his failure, the Earth, Moon, Sun, and Universe froze in anticipation of what was to come.

***

"Please," Harry whispered. 

"Why?" Draco refused to face him. He was staring out the window, looking up at the moon. 

"Please," Harry whispered again, a hand reaching out to him.

"How?"

"_Please_," he whispered.

"Can't."

Harry felt tears fill his eyes and he blinked, trying to stop them from falling. It didn't work. "_Please_."

"Never again." Draco turned around, but his eyes never looked at Harry. He made a move for the door, but Harry moved to block his path.

"Look at me, Draco, please. _Please_." Harry dared not touch him.

Draco still refused to look at him. "No."

And he sidestepped Harry and left and the last thing Harry saw was the swirls of Draco's cloak disappearing around the heavy oak door.

Harry wept, tears falling silently onto the stone floor.

***

Narcissa looked around the Leaky Cauldron. Sitting down at the bar, a sudden figure stepped out of the shadows and knocked into her shoulder roughly. 

"Oh, my apologies, madam." Black coal eyes looked into hers.

"Quite alright, sir." She turned back to face the bar.

And unfolded the note under the table.

She called the bartender. "Tom, a glass of Bumble sherry for me, please."

The man with the black coal eyes watched the bartender hand her a bright purple drink, and he slipped out of the pub, answer given to his question, and information crumpled in a ball of parchment inside the curl of his fist.

***

Harry stared at Draco for the whole of Potions. If Draco felt the stares, he took no note of it. 

Harry's stares cost Gryffindor a total of twenty five points, but it was well worth every point lost. 

Draco ignored him, and the notes that Harry tossed him were thrown into the fire beneath his cauldron, unopened.

***

Dumbledore paled, the twinkle in his eyes gone. "Oh dear," he said. "Severus – are you sure?"

"Quite sure, Headmaster. You know who my contact is, after all."

"Yes, yes, but to think that…this is even lower what I thought Voldemort was capable of. And _Lucius_. My dear Severus, Draco is his own son, surely he would…?"

"I don't think so, Headmaster. You remember the business with Charisse Malfoy, don't you?"

"Yes, yes. Murdered by the Death Eaters for keeping Muggle-borns as refugees. Hid them within the Manor, right under Lucius' nose."

Snape twitched. "Sir, there was something I didn't…exactly…tell you back then. Charisse Malfoy…her murderer was…Lucius."

"Her own son?" Dumbledore's face was grave with worry and lined in shock.

Snape nodded. "Yes, sir. And knowing the Death Eaters, it wouldn't have been a clean death. Especially since it was Lucius' own mother. And the eyes of the Lord were on him, because he was appointed to kill her. So Draco…"

"Oh dear," Dumbledore said again. "This is indeed much, _much_ worse than what we had thought at first. Well then, let us hope our plan succeeds, and that young Mr. Malfoy would be spared from…" He had no wish to finish the sentence, only sighed, and Snape nodded in agreement.

"Yes."

***

Harry tried to see if Draco looked at him – ever – in any of his other classes. 

He didn't. 

Harry spent those classes staring at his parchment, quill held tightly in his hand, trying not to cry.

***

Wild, frantic music exploded from Draco's room as he played, bow flying across strings and fingers a blur, oblivious to the world around him. He couldn't stop playing. He couldn't. Never. No. Never part with his violin. 

Never.

Crabbe and Goyle were at his door inside the Slytherin dungeons, ears pressed against the wood. 

They exchanged a Look. 

"He's playing the Devil's Trill." 

"I know."

"Not good." 

"I know."

***

"It's _your_ bloody fault," Hermione said, crossly. "All your _bloody fault_."

Harry hung his head. "I know."

"Then don't come to me for condolences. I can't believe _you_ of all people would – Don't ask me to take sides, Harry, because you're my best friend and I love you to bits, but there's no way I will side with you for this."

"I know."

***

Draco was sitting calmly in front of the Slytherin fire. 

Too calmly.

A letter was burning among the firewood, and Crabbe nudged Goyle as they sat down on either side of him. They each took one of his hands and held it tightly, trying to thaw the chill and stop the shaking.

"Hey, Draco."

"Heh," was the answer.

"What is it, Draco? What's wrong?"

"It wants to fuck me."

They exchanged a confused look. "What? Who?"

"You know."

"Who? What?"

Draco smirked, tilting his head down until he looked alarmingly feral. 

"_You know_."

And Crabbe and Goyle shivered as a strange breeze blew past and dimmed the fire until it was mere glowing embers.

***

"That's great then!" Ron exclaimed. "Don't mind Hermione, she doesn't know what she's talking about. You finally got rid of that bloody git. Sickening bastard."

Harry felt his shattered heart being ground to powder. "Yes." _I am. A sickening bastard. Sickening. Bastard. Yes._

"Come on, let's celebrate. I'll treat you to a butterbeer. Or two. Or hell, three, since it's cold out."

Harry nodded, numb. "Sure. That'd be great."

Ron slung an arm around his shoulders. "In fact, I'll treat Justin, too."

Harry almost spat out his guts. "No, Ron. Let's…catch up. Just the two of us."

Ron nodded. "Sure. Come on."

***

Crabbe cracked his knuckles. "Why can't we beat him up, Draco?"

"_Because_. It'll seem as if I _was_ hurt by whatever he did. I am _not_ about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he got to me." 

"But _Draco_…"

"_No_, Goyle."

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes,_ Crabbe."

***

Crabbe and Goyle glared at him non-stop. They were now situated permanently on either side of Draco, and their figures were even more menacing than before because their eyes now had a gleam in it that was truly frightening. Draco was always between the two of them, a delicate flower needing protection.

Harry dared not speak to them, and his eyes darted away quickly whenever Crabbe or Goyle noticed him even looking in Draco's direction.

Harry would hang his head then, because it was all his fault.

***

A snowy owl dropped a letter next to Draco's dinner. 

"Who is it from?"

Draco scowled. "Potter."

It was just a short note, too short to even be rolled up or folded.

_You will have to tell me you don't love me to my face before I will believe you. ~ HP_

Draco laughed harshly. To ask such a foolish thing of a Malfoy? They can say or do whatever they want, regardless of their true emotions. Pity Potter hadn't figured it out yet. 

Draco looked across at the Gryffindor table, and Potter was staring at him plaintively. He clearly hadn't slept well for the past two nights.

_Or maybe he was just…kept up_, Draco thought, glare narrowing his eyes. He stood up and stalked out of the Great Hall, ripping the note to shreds and dropping the bits carelessly to the floor. He knew Potter would follow.

"Draco." Potter was gazing at him tentatively. They fell to his neck, and widened imperceptibly when they saw the absence of Draco's silver ring. The silver ring – always worn around Draco's neck – a symbol of his love for him. Draco never wore it on his finger, for fear of rumours – and now it was gone. "Draco," he said again, but this time his voice was tight, biting back tears.

Draco just stared at him.

"Draco, you never gave me a chance to explain. It never was – I never meant it to – I didn't mean – you couldn't – you didn't…"

"Spit it _out_, Potter."

Potter reeled back as if slapped. Tears filled his wide green eyes, and Draco's heart clenched tighter and his foul mood turned fouler as he steeled his nerves. He was tired of being the weak one – the one to be protected by the _famous hero_ Harry Potter while he cried like a girl in the dark. 

"I just. You got my note. You read it."

"Of course. I know what you want from me. You feel so guilty, don't you?" Draco sneered. "The precious _Saint Potter_ has done a _bad thing_ – a sin, even. But of course, it wouldn't _be_ a _bad thing_ if I say I don't care for you anymore, would it? Then you would be free to be with that horrid _Mudblood_ of yours, and you won't have to worry about _me_ anymore because it will be _me_ who dumped you, _n'est ce pas_?!" He almost shrieked the last words out, unable to hold back his mother tongue. 

Draco stopped, breathed, and waited.

A single tear flowed down Potter's cheek. "No, Draco, no, no, it's not like that. It's not like that at all!" He stepped closer, and Draco stepped back, pulling his cloak tight around him as his touch burned. 

"Get away, Potter!"

Potter shook his head wildly, tears flowing freely now. "No, no, Draco, please. _Please_."

Draco just stood, glaring, unmoving. 

Potter stretched out a hand towards him. "Please, Draco. Don't do this."

"You wanted me to. You asked it of me yourself."

"That's not what I meant, Draco!" He clenched his hands into fists.

"Then what _did _you mean?"

"I – I just – if you were willing to give this up – give _us_ up – then I have to hear it from you before I am willing to do the same!"

"Why _wouldn't_ I be willing to give you up, Potter? You're the one fucking around on me – why wouldn't I give you up? And for your information, you _have_ given us up. You're not willing, you already _have_."

Potter's arms fell to his side listlessly. "No, Draco. No. No, no. If you love me, Draco, please. If you love me, you'd give me another chance. You'd be able to accept what I did for a mistake."

"No, Potter, it was not a mistake. I saw it for myself, you know, and it was not a mistake. So you know what, Potter?" Draco's tone was light and his step easy as he glided towards him. "I'll grant you what you want – what you asked of me personally."

Potter looked up at him, eyes bright with tears that wouldn't stop falling. "No," he whimpered, shaking his head ever so slightly, eyes never leaving Draco's. "No, Draco. No. No. No. Nonononononono…"

Draco held his gaze steadily until he was barely two inches away and could feel the breath of Potter's whimpers on his lips. He enunciated each word clearly, slowly, as they rolled off his tongue and pierced his own heart.

"I don't love you." 

Potter's eyes were wide, features still in shock, mouth slightly open as he breathed heavily, gasping in air.

And then Draco whirled and stalked down the corridor towards his room. He didn't feel much like dinner anymore.

When he had taken maybe ten steps, Potter seemed to fall out of his stupor and shouted after him, "_Draco! Draco, I don't believe you! You don't, you don't! You still love me, I know you do, you do, you do, you DO!!!"_

Draco didn't look back, but he knew Harry had fallen to his knees, sobbing into his hands, his cries echoing down the corridor towards Draco's ears.

Draco didn't dare look back.

---

That night, Draco cried silently, alone in his cold bed as Crabbe and Goyle banged on his door and pleaded to be let in. "Go away!" he would scream at them, throwing something at the door. "Go away!" And then he would fall back onto his bed and try to suffocate himself with his tears.

And that night, Harry sobbed into Hermione's arms as she petted his head and tried to soothe him and his tears. He mumbled over and over, "He took his ring off, Hermione, he took his _ring_ off! He _never_ took it off, _never_, and now he – he – " and then he would choke and sob some more before bawling the same sentence over and over again.

Hermione fought to bite back her reprimands as she whispered comforting words and made comforting noises and patted and stroked him comfortingly. It _was_, after all, his own bloody fault in the first place.

***

Eighteenth of December. 

Two days until end of term. 

Dumbledore called Harry into his office. 

"It appears, Harry, that you and Mr. Malfoy are now back to your previous…disagreements?"

"No, sir."

Dumbledore must have seen something in Harry's eyes because he motioned for Harry to sit down. "What do you mean, Harry?"

Harry fidgeted just the slightest, unable to look the Headmaster in the eye. "I did something terrible to Draco, sir."

"Ah, but you were so good to him at the beginning, when all the trouble about his future began. You've been very good to him all the while, Harry, with your extra training and the knowledge of the risk. I'm proud of you."

Harry shook his head. "No, sir. I'm not proud of what I did. I don't think there's much to be proud of – after all, all the hard work means nothing if it doesn't secure his freedom and, therefore, his happiness. I'm not proud of myself, sir, because three nights ago, I undid all the good I had done, and I have harmed him instead."

"What do you mean, Harry?" Dumbledore asked slowly.

Harry flushed with shame. "I. I. I almost ended up, um…with…with," he stuttered, trying to find an appropriate word, "Justin Finch-Fletchley. And. Draco came, and he saw," he finished miserably.

Dumbledore's smile disappeared. "Ah," he said. "Harry, I must say, that type of behaviour seems most unlike you. Especially compared to the times I saw you and Mr. Malfoy together – the bond between you two _was_ something special. Ah well," he said, stroking his beard, and Harry's heart fell at Dumbledore's use of the past tense.

"I know, sir," said Harry unhappily.

"Wasn't Mr. Finch-Fletchley involved with Ms. Granger?" Dumbledore mused.

"No. They broke it off before I. I." He couldn't seem to finish his sentence.

"I see. Then am I correct to assume that Ms. Granger has no particular feelings towards recent events?"

Harry nodded. "Well, she's really angry at me for doing such a thing to Draco, she's become rather protective of him, and she told me before that she was uncomfortable with Justin wanting to be so close to me, but that her boyfriend trying to get along with her best friend isn't really supposed to be a cause for suspicion. She was the one that broke it off, sir."

"Ah." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

They sat for a while, each mulling over the conversation.

And then Dumbledore spoke again. "Harry, do you think it would be a good idea for you to proceed with our earlier plans for Christmas? I could call it all off, and we this will buy us some time to further prepare you."

Harry shook his head. "No, sir. I still want to do it. I need to save Draco, if only to make it up to him."

Now it was Dumbledore who shook his head. "Harry, I don't want you to do this out of guilt. It will do harm to you, Professor Snape, and all the members of the Order I have asked to help you. I'm afraid I have to cancel the arrangement."

"Sir, please, don't cancel."

"I'm afraid I have to, Harry. Like I said, I don't want you to do this out of guilt. The mission will very likely kill you if you are burdened by such negative emotions."

"Professor – I want to do it. Please. And if you stop me – if you cancel the plan, then I'll do it myself. You know I will – and no one will be able to stop me – because – because – " tears filled Harry's eyes. "Because I _do_ love Draco, sir, and I never want to see him unhappy and now he is because of me and he will be unhappy forever if he gets the Dark Mark and I don't care how angry he is at me, I'm not about to let him suffer even if – even if he does become a spy like Professor Snape." 

Harry's head was bowed, and his fists were clenched tight in his lap, his entire frame tense and nervous, waiting for Dumbledore's judgement. 

After a short pause that lasted for infinity, Dumbledore spoke. "Very well," he said, and Harry let out a breath of air. "However." And Harry's chest tightened again. "However, Harry, Mr. Malfoy may have an opinion of his own. I must do my best to accommodate both of you to the mission – for it really is an ideal time to attack – Voldemort will have no idea…we are usually so passive."

Harry nodded. "I'm going no matter what anyone says, sir. Even if Draco doesn't want me there – I will be."

***

_A serpentine tongue flickered out to lick at non-existent lips. Red slits that served as eyes glowed in delight. "Lucius," it hissed. "Your son is…ravishing."_

_Lucius' head was bowed, but he somehow still managed to nod. "Thank you, Master. We have raised him in hopes that you will find him satisfactory when the time comes."_

_"Satisfactory…yes, indeed. Why, Lucius, he's even better than…you." It spoke with great glee, as if hoping to provoke an adverse reaction._

_"Thank you, Master."_

_"But then, of course, you have aged. You are now a father. A father to a most…*delicious* boy. I believe you were just as…exquisite when you were seventeen, but alas, you were already married when you came to me."_

_Lucius fell to his knees, and kissed the robe hem of the vile creature he called Master. "Master, my humblest apologies. If I had known you would take pleasure from me, I would not have married so soon."_

_Liar. He knew exactly what was wanted of him. And now, of his son._

_"I am giving you a chance, Lucius, to make up for your most unpardonable offence. Your son, Lucius…?" The snake-like tongue flicked out again hungrily._

_Lucius nodded wildly. "Of course, my Lord, anything, anything! Draco is not to marry until the New Year, and you will be able to have him on the night of his seventeenth birthday, my Lord, just as you like it, any way you want!"_

_"Excellent. Most excellent."_

***

"No!" 

"Mr. Malfoy, do think of the circumstances, the causes and effects, the entire situation at hand," said Dumbledore mildly.

"No!" Draco stood up from his seat and began to pace. "Excuse my lack of decorum, Headmaster, but I refuse – I simply _refuse_ to be rescued like some helpless dame, and by _Harry Potter_ of all people." He spat the name out more venomously than ever before. 

"Mr. Malfoy," began Dumbledore.

Draco spun to face him, silver eyes meeting twinkling blue. "I would rather die."

Dumbledore smiled. "We all die eventually, Mr. Malfoy. Or perhaps you are willing to meet with a fate worse than death?"

"I would rather be a Death Eater than have to rely on Harry Potter to save me." Draco resumed his pacing, a frown creasing his brow.

"Ah," said Dumbledore. "Interesting."

Draco stopped, and sat down again. "What's so interesting?"

Dumbledore's smile turned secret. "Oh, nothing much."

Draco just stared. 

"Tell me, Mr. Malfoy – what happened between you and Harry for you to have such adverse feelings towards him now? I seem to recall my last meeting with you two – last Friday, when we had hot chocolate and sugar cookies and discussed some details…ah, those _were_ good sugar cookies…" Dumbledore began to drift, but then returned to the present. "You two appeared extremely close then."

"That was then, Professor. This is now. And what is to come is determined by what happened in the past, is it not? And what happened in the past few days, sir, severed any sort of ties Potter and I could possibly have had and will _ever_ have."

"Do you care to elaborate, Mr. Malfoy?"

A cloud shaded those famous Malfoy eyes. "Not really, sir, if you don't mind."

Dumbledore smiled. "Quite alright, Mr. Malfoy. No worries. I will make further arrangements for you after the Christmas break. I trust you intend to become a double agent?"

Draco nodded stoutly. "Yes."

"And I assume you have seen Professor Snape after attending some of the gatherings?"

"Yes. I tended to some of his wounds myself – I know of the Dark curses that caused them, so I'm more efficient than Madam Pomfrey in that sense."

"And you are fully prepared to live the rest of your life branded as something you are not? Shunned in light when people learn of your unwilling branding?"

"Yes."

"All this because you are unwilling to be saved by Harry Potter? He is the only one that possesses the power we need to destroy Voldemort, you know. I would send others to save you, but I cannot risk it. You know how it is, of course."

"I understand, Professor. To me, I'm refusing aid because of the nature of it. I don't want to be a coward, sir, and I don't want to be charity either. I assure you, Professor, that if Potter will insists on completing the mission, it is for nothing else than to satisfy his guilt," Draco said, eyes flashing, face betraying no emotion.

"Ah. I see." Dumbledore hid a smirk behind his cup of tea. It simply did not _do_ to have a Headmaster smirk. "Very well then. I will see what I can arrange. You do realise, Mr. Malfoy, that I will do anything in my power to prevent you from receiving the Dark Mark, even as a double agent. You will have to prove your loyalty many times and I am loath to let a power such as yours fall into Voldemort's hands. This is just to give you warning, Mr. Malfoy, in case the plan does go into action. With some adjustments, of course."

Draco nodded. "That's fine with me, sir."

Too bad Draco forgot to ask what adjustments those would be.

***

The sun had barely peeked over the horizon of the last day of school before Crabbe and Goyle were awoken in their respective beds by a flap and a hoot of Draco's eagle owl. They were, of course, well trained to wake up whenever they heard Draco's pet.

"Huh?" said Goyle, sitting up.

"Uh," said Crabbe, sitting up.

They drew aside the curtains around their beds, and Goyle batted the owl away from his head as he reached for the parchment that it dropped onto his bed. "It's from Draco," he announced. "It's long," he added, eyeing the thickness of the envelope.

"Too early to read," Crabbe grumbled. "You read it out."

Goyle gave a pointed look at the supposedly sleeping figures around them. 

Crabbe grumbled. "Fine, I'll come over." He slid into Goyle's warm bed next to his friend, and they drew the curtains, casting several charms before Goyle read the letter aloud, which was written on wide parchment for letter writing.

_Dear Crabbe and Goyle,_

_     Well, it certainly looks as if I'll be the first to go. It can't be helped – that's the way life goes. You must not give up on what we had planned for the future – do it without me if possible, and do not follow me when it is time for you two to make your own decisions. _

_     Go to Dumbledore – he is a good man, though a bumbling fool – and he will save you from my fate. He tried his best, and is still trying his best to save me, but I think it best not to keep my hopes up. There is nothing much he can do, and I have personally rejected the original plan he thought up. You two probably feel like strangling me now, don't you? I know, I know, we said we would do all in our power to stop from getting the Mark, but Dumbledore's plan was basically a heroic save by - guess who – Harry Potter. And you two know how I now feel about that._

_     Do not blame Potter for my refusal of aid – it is merely my pride that refuses to accept such charity._

_     I want you two to remember as I was – as a boy, as your friend, as a student at Hogwarts…however you want to remember me, just as long as it was in the past. I don't want you to recognise me when we meet in the future because – dear Gods – I can't stomach the thought that all three of us succumbed to the future we were bred for, and neither do I want either of you to recognise me if and when we meet during the battle that we all know is coming. _

_     Forget me as I will be, and remember me as I was. Please. That is all I ask._

_     And, finally, because I am a drama queen, I will leave you two with a poem:_

_Remember me when I am gone away,_

_Gone far away into the silent land;_

_When you can no more hold me by the hand,_

_Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay._

_Remember me when no more day by day_

_You tell me of our future you planned:_

_Only remember me; you understand_

_It will be late to counsel then or pray_

_Yet if you should forget me for a while_

_And afterwards remember, do not grieve:_

_For if the darkness and corruption leave_

_A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,_

_Better by far you should forget and smile_

_Than that you should remember and be sad._

_     You two are my oldest, dearest, closest friends. I am not truly gone if the memory of me remains, and I will not be truly dead until my memory is dead also._

_     Do not bother coming to find me – I have gone to Dumbledore already and will be travelling to the train station with Professor Snape. They don't want anyone to see me as I go._

_Your friend forever,_

_Draco Malfoy_

Crabbe looked at Goyle. Goyle looked at Crabbe. 

And the two of them bowed their heads and hugged each other awkwardly as their eyes scanned over the letter once more, words blurring in their efforts not to mourn for their friend. They trusted Dumbledore no further than they could throw Hagrid. And so they tried not to cry on that sunny winter morning as they sat side by side, the farewell letter from their best friend lying on the cover's of Goyle's bed.

Draco was lost to them, now. 

***

Hogwarts Express, going home for Christmas. 

The rest of the train was loud, boisterous, and happy, but Draco's compartment was completely silent and devoid of any joy or emotion. Perhaps it was because he was asleep, but even in sleep, he seemed to suck in happiness like a Dementor.

Harry slipped into the compartment, unseen, unheard and unnoticed under his Invisibility Cloak. He stood in the doorway, leaning back on the closed door, watching Draco sleep. Long slim legs were propped up on the seat across, arms were crossed, and Draco's normally rigid posture was slumped, but not relaxed. His head was leaning on the window, and the steady rocking from the engine caused a steady bump with each chug of the train. Draco was fast asleep, and did not notice.

Harry sat down next to him, watching Draco's head knock against the glass two more times before he tucked his arm behind Draco's neck and cupped his head in his palm to cushion it from the window. 

And there he sat, for the entire day's train journey, Draco's head leaning against his palm. He didn't move and became numb and stiff and hurt like _hell_ all over, but still he didn't move, wanting to cushion Draco from the unyielding glass and wanting that excuse to touch him again. His eyes roamed Draco hungrily – he hadn't had a good chance to stare properly ever since – and they went over each of his features one by one, burning them into his memory forever. 

The scenery outside shifted, and Harry's glanced at it before realising that they were nearing King's Cross Station. He leaned in, gently touching his lips to Draco's, so like the first time he kissed Draco in his sleep. Only this time, there was an Invisibility Cloak in between their lips, a cruel metaphor for the barriers that separated them; this time, Draco would not wake and demand more kisses, and this time, Draco hated him. The train jolted as chimes rang to signal the near arrival, and Harry's lips slid from Draco's in the sudden movement. Hastily, Harry removed his hand as Draco began to stir and he stood up, backing away towards the door. 

Draco opened his eyes then, and the first thing he did was look up towards the door. And look directly into Harry's startled gaze. Harry stopped breathing then, and clutched desperately to the folds of his Cloak – were they in disarray? Was a part of him exposed? 

The two of them held the stare, Harry's heart thudding painfully in his chest expectantly, until Draco dropped his head and got to his feet. 

Harry breathed a sigh of relief and sadness as he slid out of the door when Draco wasn't looking.

---

Draco exited through another route – distinguished wizarding families did not associate with Muggles at all, not even at the train station. Instead, he went through another wall to Vertik Alley, where the car was waiting for him. One manservant opened the door for him while the driver collected his things, and as soon as Draco gave the command – a slight raise of his hand -  they were off, moving speedily through traffic towards Malfoy Manor. 

Draco turned towards the window, eyes staring outside, seeing nothing. He did not move for the entire journey.

The trip was long, and it was dark long before they arrived at the bottom of Murani Mountain, home to the Malfoys. Draco imagined it had to be nine, ten o' clock at least. Just enough time for a late supper and shower before heading up to his room to do nothing.

The car moved up the enormous mountain with surprising ease, considering the steepness of the road. Of course, it was charmed to do so, but it still came as a slight surprise to Draco that they could move almost vertically as easily as they moved on flat road. 

In less than fifteen minutes, they had travelled over thirty thousand metres to the top, where the grounds and estate of Malfoy Manor lay, looking down on the rest of the world.

The door was opened, and Draco leisurely slid out of the car, a cold, chilly wind streaking across as he did so. The manservant shivered. Every time he opened the door and the family, or one of the family, stepped out, this wind would blow. _It is not a natural wind_, he knew. 

Draco looked up at the foreboding manor before him. The wind blew again, swirling the light droplets of snow upwards, and Draco realised that it was snowing. He didn't even feel cold. He knew the manservant and driver were shivering – he could see them out of the corner of his eye as they unloaded his things from the car. 

Two straight rows of servants were at the entrance steps to the manor, lined up neatly – males on one side, females on the other, by order of rank. They bowed deeply as Draco began walking towards the entrance, and a chorused "Welcome home, Master Draco," made its way to his ears. The house elves were not there – they were not important enough to greet him on return.

He could see that the main doors were open, and warm golden light flooded out, silhouetting two figures. Lucius Malfoy stood at the top, holding his walking stick stiffly, and Narcissa Malfoy stood next to him, hands folded, chin up, looking down at the steps that Draco were ascending. The two of them looked cold and forbidding, dressed in thin clothing that did not belong in the middle of December. But then, so was Draco, whose light school cloak blew out behind him as he walked up the last few steps. 

The three of them were silent for a bare second, unblinking, unsmiling, while the unnatural wind blew again. 

Lucius spoke. "Welcome home, Draco."

Draco nodded his head in greeting. "Good evening, Father, Mother."

"I trust there were no problems with your journey?"

"No, sir."

Narcissa had been standing, trembling with barely concealed excitement at Draco's return. She held her arms out then, and Draco entered her embrace willingly. She kissed both his cheeks, smile wide as she said, "My dear son, Mother missed you so much while you were away." Her voice was low, comforting, and beautiful like the rest of her.

"I missed you too, Mother." Draco smiled happily as Narcissa stroked his hair with the gentle love that only a mother could give. 

Lucius sniffed, and tapped his walking stick on the ground. "Come. We are to have supper in half an hour. Go to your room and wash up."

Narcissa released Draco from her hold, then, and smoothed back an errant strand of his hair as she smiled and took Lucius' arm to enter, Draco trailing along behind like a good son as the doormen bowed for their entrance.

They stepped into the Entrance Hall and behind them came the sound of the heavy mahogany doors creaking close as it echoed from the walls with a resounding slam that held a foreboding note of finality.

Draco was home.

**End Part 1**

**_Part 2 Coming Soon_**

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**_Merry Christmas everyone!!!_ If I left anything out in this chapter, it'll definitely be in Part 2. I don't think I'll be writing the details of what happened, but the main gist will be known, I hope :) Part 2 will mainly be about Harry and Draco, with much less outside pressure from Lucius and Voldemort. Something will be very wrong with our favourite violinist, and Harry has to try and repair his treachery to an unforgiving Draco. Thank you all so very much for reading this story – you guys make my days! - and hopefully I'll have the next part up before my exams begin!**

And…my excuses for taking so long? Well, to be honest, I'm not exactly a healthy person, and so have been bedridden for the better part of the last month or so. Plus, my A-Level exams start in January (yes, January…I take the other two thirds of them in May) and I had my Biology coursework, and the Yr 13 Pantomime rehearsals and Carol Concert rehearsals to do. *nods* so yes. My excuses for this chapter, teehee…

**Oh! The Devil's Trill was taken from the anime/manga series Yami no Matsuei, and the poem "Remember Me When I Am Gone Away" was by Christina Rossetti, both used without permission…sorry! **– Supposedly the song (in the manga), was given to a composer who sold his soul to the Devil for the music, and it is the most beautiful, yet most difficult song that was ever written and no one can play it – that is, no one without a contract binding them to the Devil, granting them the skills to become the most talented violinist in the world. Hehehe…Of course, in _this_ story, Draco is just a good violinist playing an eerie song :)

**Also, thank you to everyone that reviewed my other two stories: _Two, Four, Six, Eight_ and _Dreams_ – Thank you SO much!**

_Though you might like to know: **Lucius **means **" bringer of light"**. Strange. I thought it'd be a derivative of Lucifer rather than Lucas, heeheehee…and his mother's name, **Charisse**, is French for **"grace, beauty, and kindness"**__which I think she certainly has, heehee. And **Draco **and **Narcissa** I think we all know already. I just thought Lucius' name is such a HUGE oxymoron with his character, hahaha. _

Edit: Made a minor change – added a sentence about the ring, because I have the impression that many people forgot about it, heehee.

**Notes:  **Oodles of thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair_,_ AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, **Aurora**_ – Thank you so much for reviewing! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, chrisseee67, Rosetta, deadredsocks, JadeDragon, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, Chireel, Scap, **TanisaFyre**_ – I have been preparing to protect myself with heavy armoury since I wrote a future chapter for Part 2 and imagined your reaction…heeheehee…and no, Draco won't die…at least not in Part 1, as you just read…LOL! I love the comment you made about Ron needing some…because YES…yes he DOES need to get some…from Hermione!_, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, AmZ, **mistykasumi**_ – Well, actually, I think Draco gets stress headaches, it's just that he makes it worse because of the…thing…Hmmm…not sure, myself, heehee…Hope you like this chapter!, _Morien Alexander_, _**Jubilee**_ – Yes, arsenic! Apparently, it's true. Humans can take very small quantities of arsenic. Of course, the toxins build up and it causes premature death, I think. The Emperor Charlemagne did it, and he took arsenic every day with his meal. I confirmed it with my Chemistry teacher – it CAN be done, and not just by wizards! Something about keeping your colouring pale (heehee)…Sorry this was a rather depressing chapter, but I *did* put Angst as a partial genre, lol…I promise, though, Part 2 will be so fluffy, I'll be calling it 'cotton candy'. Thanks for reading!, _amethyst_, _Portuguese-Girl_,_ IamtheLizardQueen_, _Green-and-Silver, Bizzle, Anna_, _jay_,_ **Tsuyuno**_ – LOL! "It Which Can't Be Named" will be coming up in Part 2, and features heavily in the beginning…thanks for reading!,_ nightwing, Shades_,_ Bubblie Bunnie_, _FatalDreams-Seducer of Fantasy, Aurenne_, _**ruz**_ – Thanks for your review! The 'thing' will be coming up REALLY soon, I absolutely promise! Promise! Really! No, REALLY!!! Hope you liked this chapter!_, **Silmarien**_ – Thank you so much for your review! I'm really really happy you like the story!, _Anita Blake_, _Rings of Saturn_, _Black Night_,_ **ljp**_ – I'm glad you like the suspense (I'm not so sure I did it ok) and I'm so so SO happy you liked my little Crabbe sentence about life being a story! :) Happy reading!, _**Kitori**_ – Thanks for your review! I wonder if you'll figure out Draco's mystery problem before I put the next part up? Probably, since I write so slowly, heehee. Too bad I didn't add it into this chapter…I'm really glad you think C&G are cute, and thank you for reading!_, **crimson nightmare**_ – I know what you mean! I love this Harry! I must admit, though, that I modelled him after guys I like personally, but I did give him some pretty unforgivable flaws, hehehe…And you're welcome for the line! Sometimes it's hard to wiggle out when you're cornered for a secret :) I'm glad you like my Crabbe and Goyle – I think they're sweet…and thank you so much for your review – it's so sweet of you!,_ But Siriusly_, _Natalie_,  _Silent Angel,Cathy_, _**Shikala_ – _**_Thank you so much for your review, and I'm really glad you like this story! I hope you like this ending, but then again, it's not really an ending, because there's a second part in the making already!_, TheUnknownJedi_, _M-chan_, _Spike Shinizzle_, _LunarGlow20_, _Mystic-Flower,** [name not given] – **_Crabbe and Goyle are rather 'schizophrenic' mostly because, I guess, that's just how they are. They aren't smart, but they possess amazingly lucid minds that can see through many things, such as the fact that they can tell Draco was having a secret affair with Harry while they got only twenty percent on their exam. They don't exactly try to appear stupid, but they do hide their 'smartness' from others because its is their trump card. Thanks for review!_, **lime** – _If the chapters aren't accessible now, you could give me your email address and I'll mail you the chapters all at one go (or a couple at a time). Thank you for reading!_, **kirahardymalfoy** – _Thanks for your review! I'm really glad you like this story :D, _**Yoink Daydurfurits** – _:D I hope you like this chapter, and that you keep reading when Part 2 comes out…thanks!_, **secret08**_ – thank you! Your review was very sweet!, _**Silver**_ – Thank you so much for reviewing! Like I said above (in bold…look ^) I won't be giving much details, because the logistics are *terrible* to work out, but hopefully you'll understand mainly what happened. I think…heehee…keep reading!_, **shy girl**_ – Thank you for reading! Hope you like this ending!_, **elseedy**_ – I'm glad you like chapter 4! Never too late to start reading, hehehe…, _**Fleur101**_ – Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hope you'll stay around to read the next part!, _**El**_ – I'm not too sure how you spell cyncher/cincher either, but thank you! And, why, YES! Draco IS drinking something worse! It'll come up real soon, and plays a big part in the beginning of Part 2, where Harry tries to win Draco back., _**Colli**_ – Thank you for reading! I'm assuming you like Draco? (yup) Why thank you! LOL…yes, I am crazy :) I thought torrid was a negative word, but I guess it still works, lol!,_ **I Am The Bunny Slayer**_ – I promise…no Draco killing in Part 1…*ducks at the tomatoes being thrown*…OK, OK. There will be, obviously, angst, in Part 2, but since I love Draco, I don't think I'll be killing him off any time soon…*gulps nervously* even if only to keep the mob of raging fans from tearing down my apartment building, hehehe…Thanks for reviewing!, _**Sierra Sitruc**_ – Wow, thanks for your comment! I'm really glad you like the Slytherin side to the story! Keep reading!, _**Shinigami**_ – Am I right in saying you're an YnM fan? Heeheehee…The thing about Lucius' mother…Well. Heehee. I guess you know now, even though it was only mentioned vaguely. LOL! What spells do you plan to use on our DEAR Ronald?_ **People who emailed me – **_Thank you!! Thank you so much! _


	16. Locked

_Title:_ Clear -  Unmistakably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 1:_ Locked

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

Draco knew, even without opening his eyes, exactly where he was. 

He could feel the same marble floor on his lower back, _[the tiny body of a child tossed onto the floor unceremoniously] _and his upper body was cushioned by a large, furry rug. He knew, without moving a muscle, that there were no windows in this room, this favourite room of his father's to use, and this most hated room of Draco's to be in. It was, naturally, as well furnished as any other room in the house – how could it be not? There was no artificial light and natural light was a laugh – they _were_ underground after all.

The darkness was suffocating _[short, sharp breaths as small lungs struggled to fill] _in a most literal way.

Draco sat up with a gasp, eyes flying open as an ice cold grip clutched his heart, squeezing tightly as he clawed at his own chest.

_Out_

He needed out. 

_Out_

He _needed_ out.

_Out_

Now, now, NOW he needed out NOW

_OUT_

"Mummy!" he screamed, crawling on the floor, searching _[out of Big Dark] _for the smooth polished wood amongst the wall of textured wallpaper. "Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy _Mummy MUMM-EEEE _help me help Draco help me Draco wants out Draco wants _out_ Draco wants _OUT _Mummy Mummy _Mummy Mummy_!"

He was crying, he knew, as desperate, trembling fingers found the wood, and he scrabbled to find the doorknob _[a child hopped hopelessly, stretching up arms in hope of reaching a knob on the door]_ but he knew it was in vain because no doors in Malfoy Manor had such trivial things as _doorknobs_. 

Perfectly manicured fingernails were torn and ripped as his fingers _[tiny delicate fingers of a four year old]_ scratched at the door, Draco screaming endlessly for his mother.

He could just about make out the sound of his mother's voice on the other side of the mahogany, crying to him. "Draco, Draco, darling, Mother is here, Mummy is here, darling, Mummy's here, Mummy's here, shh, shh, darling, shh, Mummy's here…"

And his own voice _[the shrill soprano of a toddler]_ unable to calm down because this was Big Dark where Father kept him when he was naughty but Draco tried so_ hard_ to be a good boy and Big Dark was so _scary_ and he couldn't stop his wails.

His mother's voice was gone now, and Draco scratched at the door ever more fiercely, mind numb to the pain as all he could do was blemish the thick varnish painted over the wood. "Mummy! _Mummy! MUMMY! Mummy don't leave Draco here! Draco be good boy Draco be a man Draco want out want OUT want out out out out OUT!"_

And then Mummy's voice was back again, still crying_ [a mother's heart wrenching at the cries of her child]_, sounding desperate. "Draco, Draco, darling, Mummy brought you Booboo, you want to see Booboo, don't you? Darling, shh, Mummy's here, Mummy's here and I bought you your Booboo, shh, shh, be a good boy and sleep – there's a bed inside, darling, go to sleep, and when you wake up Mummy will be here and Booboo will be here and you can come outside with Mummy again, darling, shh…"

"_Mummy_," Draco hiccupped, sniffing, still screaming as he _[baby scared need get away baby needs away away AWAY]_ banged helplessly against the door. "_Draco want Mummy want Booboo want out of Big Dark Mummy me want out Draco want out OUT OUT OUT OUT_…"

"Shh, Draco, my angel, darling, Mummy's here, Mummy's here with your Booboo, we aren't going anywhere, darling, shh, shh, Mummy's here, Mummy's here, Mummy's here…"

Outside the manor, a thick black cloud moved over the round, fat moon, and the night became as black as the Big Dark.

The servants trembled as they heard Master Draco's screams echo through the East Wing of the house from the basement, but they dared not speak up for him when they caught Master Malfoy's look. Nor did they dare try to persuade Lady Malfoy to move from her place _["Get away! My child needs me! Get away from me or I kill you!"]_ on the floor where she knelt all night, clutching Master Draco's favourite toy in wild hopes that she could calm her angel down. She wanted her baby to have his Mommy and Booboo when he was released, and nothing, _nothing_ would be able to sway her.

The house elves cried in the kitchens, for they were underground too, and they heard the full brunt of Master Draco's screams and wails and hopeless cries. They ran around, tearing about the kitchen, wanting to do something but not knowing what and not daring to do anything in case Master Malfoy got angry. _["Oh, poor Master Draco! Dobby is bad elf, Dobby can't help Master Draco, oh, Master Draco!"] _"Oh, poor Master Draco," his elves all wailed, crying in unison as the other house elves frantically tried to do something by doing nothing. 

The animals in the forest behind Malfoy Manor stirred uneasily as a chilling wind blew from the house, carrying with it the sound of Draco's screams. The same unnatural wind carried the screams down the mountain, where it echoed pitifully and those at the bottom, who could barely make out the top of the mountain, much less see it, could only look up and shiver at the mournful wind.

***

"Professor, what's wrong with him? Why can't we wake him! What's happening to him?!" Harry was alarmed at Draco, who was scratching, wailing, clawing, eyes wide open but unseeing. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape were trying to hold him down, but he was thrashing with inhuman strength as he screamed endless cries that demanded _out out out out out OUT – _

The Headmaster looked sufficiently ruffled. "I'm not sure, Harry, but I can guess that Mr. Malfoy has…regressed, shall we say, and at present, his mind and his memories are locked in the past. He has no idea where he is, who we are, and I'm not so sure he can even see or hear us. All he knows is the time frame that he is currently trapped in."

"Professor – Professor, surely, there must be _something_ we can do? Anything?" Harry's eyes were pleading, red-rimmed with worry.

"I'm afraid not, Harry. Come, let us not disturb Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape, and come to my office for some tea or hot chocolate. You need rest, Harry, and it will do good to rest now before the rest of the world discovers what happened last night."

***

When Draco regained consciousness again, he knew he had escaped from the Big Dark. He could see the sunlight even with his eyes closed and feel the warmth on his skin.

"Mother," he mumbled, instincts taking over as he blinked sleepily at the figure by his bed, heaving himself into an upright position.

"Yes, darling. Mother's here." Narcissa took one of Draco's hands into her own. "And look what Mother brought you." From her lap, hidden in the folds of her robe, she produced a round, fluffy brown bear.

"Booboo!" Draco exclaimed happily, stretching out both arms for his beloved toy. As he cuddled it, he looked to his mother. "Mother," he said. "How did you know I wanted…?" There was a faint blush high on his cheeks because, for Merlin's sake, he was _seventeen_ now, a man, and still holding onto his bear as Mother stroked his hair. It seemed right, though, just then.

"You had us all so worried, darling." Narcissa said, turning her face away in pretence of looking through her handbag.

"Mother – " Draco began, but was cut off.

"Turn around, darling. Your hair is simply screaming out for a brushing."

Draco shifted obediently, still clutching his Booboo.

Narcissa began to speak again as the brush made its smooth path down the length of Draco's hair. "Do you remember what happened after your party, darling?"

The muscles in Draco's shoulders and back tensed visibly. "Yes," he replied, fingers digging into his bear. 

"By the time I could let you out, you were unconscious. But when you woke…well, it seemed as if your consciousness couldn't – or wouldn't – wake, and you were stuck in…the room." They never actually had a formal name for it, and Narcissa certainly wasn't about to start with one now.

"Ah." She could see him tense up even more. "I see."

"You understand why I was so worried, darling."

There was silence, and Narcissa hummed happily as she brushed Draco's hair. Her son was awake. And now, everything was going to be fine again.

"How long has it been?" he asked finally. 

"Nine days, darling. I was starting to fear you'd never…wake. The doctor from St. Mungo's told me that…well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Narcissa put the brush down on the side table and produced a length of ribbon out of thin air. 

"Did anyone visit?"

Narcissa looked up from tying Draco's hair at his strange connotation.

"Well, the Headmaster, obviously. Came at least twice, sometimes three times each day. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin came once, on the morning after – they wanted to thank you for something but hadn't heard about your situation yet, so it was only that one visit. I suspect they're rather busy – court trials and everything. Severus came every day, of course, and the Muggle-born Head Girl came several times as well."

"Granger," Draco said automatically.

"Yes, I suppose it was her. All done now, darling." Narcissa smoothed back non-existent stray hairs and leaned back slightly to admire her work.

"No one else?" Draco hadn't moved, back still facing her as he stared down at the bear cradled in his arms.

"Well, there were some Ministry people wanting a statement of account. They want to present you with an Order of Merlin as well, darling, isn't it wonderful? They know that the attack wouldn't have been successful if you hadn't cast those spells beforehand. Dumbledore wouldn't let them anywhere near the Hospital Wing, so they don't know the details of your condition. Why? Are you expecting someone?"

"No." But Narcissa knew that meant a yes.

"Who, darling? Anyone…special to you?"

Draco gave a short laugh, and at the sound, Narcissa's heart broke. Her baby was unhappy – she could see it written all over him, plain as day. "No," he said, holding Booboo close. "Just wondering, that's all."

At that moment, Madam Pomfrey entered, clutching several bottles. For some reason, she looked genuinely happy that Draco was awake. "Wonderful," she said, as Draco shifted back to lean against the headboard. "We've all been wondering when you'd wake. Got us all worried and worked up as well."

Draco said nothing, and Madam Pomfrey took his silence as the opportunity to run a few checks on him. As the last traces of glitter disappeared, she tucked her wand back into her pocket and nodded. "Right. Now. You – rest. You're welcome to stay, of course, Mrs. Malfoy, but Draco needs plenty of rest, and you should see to it that he gets some."

"Of course," said Narcissa gracefully. 

The two of them watched as Madam Pomfrey went off into a little room that served as a makeshift pharmacy.

"Aren't you going to say hello to your Booboo, darling?" Narcissa smiled indulgently.

Draco held the bear up, so that he looked directly into two round eyes. "_Bonjour, Booboo_._C'est un tres beau de jour._"

The bear nodded slowly, moving its paws stiffly, trying to smooth out its movements. "Hey-yo, Day-co."

"I expect Booboo will be feeling a bit stiff after sleeping for so long. I'm sorry I haven't been able to play with it when you were gone, darling, but you do know that Papa hated for you to have it around."

He nodded. "Yes, Mother."

Booboo finished stretching and patted Draco's hand that was holding it around the middle. "Day-co a'ight?" 

"Yes, Booboo. I'm alright."

Narcissa smiled happily at Draco's expression as she watched her dear son play with his favourite toy.

---

"Harry? Harry? It's Professor Dumbledore."

"Sir, I don't want to see anyone yet."

"He's awake."

Silence. 

Harry opened the door then, staring at Dumbledore, eyes wide. "Then I want to go see him."

"If you want to. And if he allows it." Dumbledore fluidly manoeuvred himself into Harry's room. 

"I have to. If only to thank him for – sir, you know Sirius is free now? His trail ended yesterday, with a full public pardon from the Ministry. Sirius is free – and Pettigrew is in Azkaban waiting for the Dementor's Kiss. If Draco hadn't cast that spell on Wormtail, then…then, he would have escaped again, and Sirius…" Harry couldn't finish.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, Harry, I know. A very complicated spell it was, too, and the changes he made to the protection spells under Malfoy Manor, deep inside Murani Mountain where the Death Eaters would gather – those spells, too, were remarkable. All were very difficult to cast and very difficult to hold. Most advanced work for a seventh year student, surpassing even Ms. Granger's abilities, definitely, and even rivalling that of Professor Flitwick's for the charm work. He's to gain an Order of Merlin for that, too, Harry."

"I know. He deserves it. I didn't." He had received a First Class Order of Merlin as the defeater of the most feared Dark Lord in the past five hundred years – Lord Voldemort.

"Nonsense, Harry. Like I said before – you are the only one with the innate power to destroy him. Draco was the one to help you on your way, and to tidy things up so the aftermath would be easier to handle."

A pause. "Can I go see him now, sir?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course, Harry. No one is stopping you."

---

His heart felt like it had stopped when he walked into the infirmary and saw Draco there, at the furthest bed on the left, next to the window that looked into one of the courtyards. Draco's profile was turned to him, and a blonde woman was sitting with her back to Harry, and he knew immediately from her looks and posture that it must be Narcissa Malfoy. Draco was playing with something he had in his lap, and there was a tender look in his eyes as he flashed a smile at whatever he was holding and looked up at his mother, who Harry assumed was smiling back at him.

The silver eyes shifted from Narcissa then, and landed on Harry, who was still standing in the doorway. The warmth in them dissipated and turned cold, smile disappearing almost immediately. Narcissa must have seen the change, for she, too, turned in her seat to see who Draco was glaring at.

Harry just stood, feeling his heart beat rapidly, feeling his stomach churn, feeling his blood pulse fiercely through his veins, feeling happy hungry wanting yearning hurt painfear.nausea.sick.faint.want.desire…_guilt_.

"Harry Potter?" said Narcissa, surprised. Her voice carried surprisingly well through the large room without being brash.

"Yes, ma'am," Harry said, blushing. "I…I came to see how Draco was doing." He walked down the room, towards Draco's bed. 

"Oh?" Narcissa's intense blue stare watched him come forward. Draco had his head lowered, gazing down at his empty hands, refusing to look at Harry.

"Yes, ma'am." He stood at the end of Draco's bed now, and smiled somewhat nervously. 

"How kind of you to come. Draco just woke up not fifteen minutes ago. You are the first to visit."

"Really?" His smile grew.  
  


"Of course. Would you two like to talk? I believe I should go find Severus for – "

Draco looked up then, and tilted his chin up. "No, Mother. I do not believe Potter will be staying. And I don't want to see him or speak to him. Nor do I want him here. At all." Draco's eyes were fixed on a point behind Harry.

Harry's smile fell. "Draco –" he started, but was cut off by Draco's next words, addressed to Narcissa as well.

"Mother," he said, gaze shifting to her. "Send him away."

Harry's stomach dropped to the floor, and he felt a sudden stab in his heart – a dull, tarnished butter knife forcing its way through skin and flesh and muscle and tendons and veins and arteries to his beating heart and then twisting to widen the wound.

Narcissa was looking between them like a tennis spectator, eyebrows slightly lifted, but otherwise expressionless. At Draco's demand, she lowered her head slightly in semblance of a nod and then smiled up at Harry. "Terribly sorry, but I'm afraid Draco doesn't quite feel up to visitors yet." She stood up, and made to steer Harry away. "Come along now. I'm sure Draco will speak with you later."

Harry stumbled along, Narcissa's firm hand on his shoulder, but his head was still facing Draco, body unwillingly led away. A brown fluffy _something_ crawled out of Draco's shirt collar then, and sat on his right shoulder, grabbing onto Draco's ear for balance. Harry's eyes widened. 

"Day-co?" It said, in an impossibly small voice. "Day-co, tell Booboo wha' wrong?"

"Mrs. Malfoy, what's – "

Narcissa glanced back, and tried to push Harry out of the infirmary without being rude. "Oh, it's just a toy, nothing important. Now, run along now."

"But Mrs. Malfoy, I want – "

"I know you mean well with your visit. My son likes to make a bit of a fuss when he's ill, but don't worry about it, and maybe he'll be well enough to see you later." She smiled, and closed the door.

Harry stood, frowning at the wood, wanting to cry. Again. He sighed, and turned away. 

His eyes were beginning to hurt, raw from all the tissues being pressed to them.

---

"Day-co? Day-co, tell Booboo?" Booboo was currently sprawled, stomach-down, on top of Draco's head, two tiny fistfuls of hair in its paws to prevent it from slipping.

Draco was refusing to answer.

Narcissa sat back down in her seat. "Darling. Is Harry the one…?"

"No."

_Yes,_ she knew. 

"Day-co?" whimpered Booboo. 

"Shh, Booboo." Draco reached up and plucked Booboo from his hair. "I'll explain to you later – tonight, okay?"

Booboo nodded. "Tay, Day-co. Tiss-tiss to make betta?"

Draco kissed it on the nose, and held it tightly to his chest as he bent his head, eyes closed, trying to stop his tears.

His mother made a comforting noise, and moved to stroke his cheek, wiping it of the few stray drops that leaked through. "Darling," she said, softly, "Tell Mummy what happened. You know I'll try and make it better, darling, you just have to tell me what happened." She moved to sit on the bed, and Draco felt the secure embrace of his mother.

His posture didn't change, but Narcissa felt his muscles relax – just slightly – but enough for her to know he would talk.

"He found me one night, Mother, with my violin. I was careless, I was stupid, I was suffocated in my bedroom, and I was using one of the school music rooms – have been ever since the winter term started. He found me there, one night, and came back the next, and the next, and the next, and the next, and every night – including the one where I received Father's letter regarding my initiation."

Narcissa didn't say a word, only focused her intense stare on Draco as he continued slowly, head still bent, Booboo pressed against his chest, listening also.

"It started that night. I was…distraught. He went to find Dumbledore after walking me back to my room, and I'm guessing he crashed into Professor Snape halfway because he came to my room to speak to me about…details and decisions. And then he came back, and Snape went to Dumbledore. I don't know why it happened, or how, but it did. And he was just holding me from behind as I leaned on him and cried. I _cried_. I never cry. I'm not _supposed_ to cry. But I was – because Father's letter had made it very clear that there was no way out for me. And, I guess, I just didn't want things to go that way. Things weren't _supposed_ to be that way. But they were, and he was there, and he was holding me."

Draco's voice was calm, cool. Stoic. 

"He pretty much invited himself to stay the night – I think he was worried about me, perhaps worried about what I might have done? I invited him into my bed. My mistake started there, Mother. He meant well, and I felt uneasy about letting him sleep on my couch after being so nice to me. We just slept, but the next morning, he kissed me. And then I asked him for another. Afterwards, I made the third mistake in my life."

There was a pause, and Draco took a deep breath. 

"I asked him to be my…boyfriend. And he said yes. I blame that entirely on my own weakness of character. I blame myself – for exposing my vulnerability to someone outside of the family, and for willing to succumb to it. Anyway. It was fine for a while, but…I – I guess we began drifting apart around middle of December. I was having…problems. And he needed more than what I could give. So. So he went to find it somewhere else."

"Did you break it off with him, darling?"

Draco shook his head.

"He broke it off with you?" Narcissa asked gently.

Draco shook his head again. "No, Mother," he said quietly. "He cheated on me."

---

Dinner at Hogwarts. 

There were a few visitors– an ecstatic Sirius and Remus and, of course, Narcissa. They were all along one long table – there weren't many students staying at Hogwarts over the Christmas break, and those that did were mostly clustered at the far end, as far away from the adults as possible. 

  
Except, of course, for the Trio. Harry sat between Remus and Sirius, with Ron and Hermione across them. Snape sat next to Remus, and the teachers were clumped at the front, Dumbledore at the head, with a space across from Snape for Narcissa, who would ultimately end up sitting next to Hermione. 

Dinner had begun – and everyone was eating merrily, laughing, joking, talking loudly – for the worst was over before it even started. 

The door to the Great Hall opened, and all chatter stopped as eyes turned to the figure of Narcissa Malfoy. There were whispers among the students immediately, but she ignored them as she slowly walked towards the only empty space left at the head of the table. 

"Ah, Narcissa," said Dumbledore jovially, standing up in his seat, waving her over. "How good of you to join us. Come, come, we saved a place for you next to our Head Girl, Ms. Hermione Granger. Is Mr. Malfoy not going to join us?" he asked, settling back down in his seat.

"Draco is most unwell, Headmaster," she said, stopping at her seat and sitting. "He is still too frail to leave the infirmary." 

"Ah. My condolences. I hope his health recovers soon so that he may join us here at the table once more."

Narcissa nodded demurely, and everyone returned to their meals.  

"Mrs. Malfoy?" came Harry's hesitant voice.

Narcissa looked up at him. "Yes?" she asked, voice cold. It was rather a drastic difference from earlier, and Harry couldn't help but feel nervous when her eyes were fixed upon his. 

He squirmed a little. "I was just…wondering how Draco was doing."

She paused, watching Ron hiss something at Harry, kicking him under the table. "Very poorly."

"Oh. Um. I hope he gets better soon."

She just stared at him, the same look on her face he had seen at the Quidditch World Cup almost three years ago. The same prim, downturn of her perfectly shaped lips, and the same haughty, disdainful expression in her eyes.

Harry squirmed some more. "Do you think I could go see him? Maybe after dinner? Or tomorrow?"

He realised that she was giving him the Malfoy Stare – designed to make the recipient break into cold, nervous sweat. He had seen Draco use it many, many times before, and some students had been so scared that they had run off crying. Needless to say, from Narcissa, the results were just as effective.

"No," she said coolly. 

"Is he too ill to receive visitors, Mrs. Malfoy?" Hermione asked, from beside her.

"I just do not believe it would be a good idea for Mr. Potter to go visit him," she said, eyes never leaving Harry. "Besides," she continued. "I believe you've been rather busy lately with a Mr. Finch-Fletchley."

Harry's heart stopped.

To Be Continued!!!!

**Notes:** Ok, ok. I realise that Draco's recap of what happened is rather tedious and boring, but I thought it'd be nice to see what Draco thought of their relationship. You know…? Oh, and **please** tell me if you like/dislike **Booboo_. _**I am _perfectly willing_ to remove a teddy bear from this story – I just think it's cute that Draco has a childhood toy. 

**Next Chapter:** Will probably feature how Draco found out – will probably be rather disjointed, so if you get confused, remember to tell me. It'll be a long time until it's out – because my exams are for the whole of January. So I don't think I'll update until February, at least the end of the first or second week.

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:** **Akemi** – _Sorry! Yes, I'm mean, but angst is supposed to be half of this story, and the romance half has already had a lot of fun. It'll have fun again near the end of Part 2, promise! Thanks for your review!_, **mistykasumi_ – _**_I edited the chapter and added a bit about the ring – you wear it when your partner is of the same sex. Draco wore his on a necklace before, but never switched it to his finger, not even when he and Harry were going out, because they were supposed to keep it secret. Hope you like this chapter!_, **Aurora**_ – my computer hates me, too, hee…I'm so, so glad you like my story! :D How Harry did it, and why, will be the topic for the future. The very near future… thanks for reading!,_** Callisto Firestarter** _– I'm really glad you like Narcissa! Thank you very very much for your review! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_, **Tsuyuno** – _Hope you had fun in Japan :D And yes, I agree, Harry is an idiot. Heeheehee. I'll tell you why in a later chapter. I'm so, so happy you liked the chapter, and yes, I admit that the sentence and the paragraph regarding the "Incident", etc, was rather confusing…hee…the details about what happened exactly on Christmas Eve won't be given in detail, I don't think, but hopefully you have picked up some stuff from this chapter…thank you for your review, and hope you keep reading!_, **Playboy Bunny** _– Hmm…Maybe you reviewed this story before? My eyes are going fuzzy from being on the computer too long, heehee. I'm really glad you liked the chapter – I've never written something like that before, usually I write everything…it's nice to know that I don't have to, because sometimes it makes things worse…thanks for your review!,_** chrisseee667** – _Thank you so much for your review! I'm sorry if the past chapter was confusing…And you'll know why Harry did it probably by chapter 18 or 19…I hope…,_ **havelock** – _merci beaucoup…:D_, **Mi Su** _– Thank you so much for your review! Thank you very very much for liking the way I write – it's a wonderful encouragement to keep doing it! Hope you like this chapter!,_ **Anna** – _Thanks for reading, and thanks for telling me! I'm Buddhist, so I wouldn't know…_, **Jezebel** – _I'm so happy you like my story! Draco doesn't say their real names because…well, I'll show you when they come back to school after the hols, heehee…I'm glad you like my characterisations of Crabbe, Goyle, and Narcissa…I think they're cute, and they're major people in Draco's lives, so they couldn't be that bad, I think. And yes, Voldie had the hots for Draco. I'll join you in saying "ew". It's not vodka…and it'll play a part later into the story, heehee…keep a watch for it, though it'll be painfully obvious, lol. I'll try and think of a way in which Ron will get beat up. :) Thanks for reading!,_ **Shikala** – _Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm delighted (^^") to hear that my story inspires – because this is exactly why all writers write and keep publishing/posting…Happy plot bunnies to you, too!!,_** crimson nightmare** – _*chuckles* dragon breath…ooee…lol! Ooh, your description of Draco was *haunting*…it was amazing! AMAZING! Heehee, glad you liked my description of Voldie and his desire for Draco…and I LOVE Yami no Matsuei! I just can't seem to get my hands on episode 12 and everything else after episode 13…I know there are more…*cries*…heehee…Hope this part lived up to expectations,_** Milady69** – _There's more to come! It won't be depressing after a few chapters…I think! Keep reading!!! Please? Draco is incredibly possessive, as stated in the first few chapters of the story – but I suspect everyone's forgotten, lol! Hope you liked this part!,_** Queen Vegeta** – _Thank you thank you thank you!!!! I don't know what to say, so thank you!!!,_** mystic-flower** – _I guess Draco has his reasons…and Harry has *his* reasons…we'll see…heehee…The sad turn is, I guess, important to the plot. It's H/D – they're angsty, they're dark, they're depressing, they're…*fluffy as hell*. So I thought angst might be fun…,_ **Jubilee** – _I agree…I agree! But I'm sure Harry has his reasons…we'll be hearing them, soon, I hope, when he tries to explain to Draco :D Thank you so so SO much for your review – it's been great hearing from you all the time :D And thank you, I've been recuperating over the holidays, though I don't think it bodes well for my exams this week. Ah well. Hope you stay well and happy and be careful with your arsenic, heehee…,_ **S. Wing** – _I'm so so glad you like my Crabbe and Goyle as well! After all – if they really *were* that stupid, would they be in the house for "cunning" and "ambition" if they could barely read/spell/function as someone without mental deficiencies? Heehee…_

**Final notes:** I *have* to stop writing such long replies to every review. It takes almost as long as writing the chapter, LOL…But I love you all, so that's why I do it – too happy when I read reviews, lol! ****


	17. Broken

_Title:_ Clear -  Unmistakably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 2:_ Broken

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

**Notes: **I guess this chapter is more true to the R-rating that the rather PG-13 chapters before. Hee. Hope you like!

P.S. Last exam on Monday. (Yay!) And thank you to all those that wished me luck :) Thank you!!!!!!

***

Draco doesn't understand why everyone makes out Malfoy Manor to be dark and forbidding, a sort of haunted house with a shadow of eternal night hanging over it because of their tainted name. He doesn't understand why everyone thinks that the interior of Malfoy Manor holds walls painted in shades of the night, has heavy curtains that block out the bright sunshine, and that the colours inside are more suited for a tomb than for a home. 

_Au contraire_, the Manor is more a palace than anything else, with huge white marble pillars and floors and white, white walls and light, light cream carpets. There is very little colour in the Manor except for white and shades of cream and the reddish-brown colour of the wooden doors.

When Draco was very young, he had been taught to be very careful and very clean because if he had been playing, or writing, or working, there was the chance that he would stain something. 

So when Draco used to practice writing, he would wash his hands very carefully afterwards to make sure that all ink stains were removed from his fingertips before his hands touched anything else. When Draco used to play outside, he would change shoes before entering the house, leaving the outdoor shoes outside for the house elves to clean and put away. When Draco used to make his potions, he would keep his work area painfully neat and tidy – always afraid of spilling something that would stain the floor or that his dirty hands would stain the white rim around the lacquered mahogany door or the white, white walls that he was constantly surrounded by. 

Draco became rather obsessed with cleanliness over the years. 

And, so, now, he was standing in the shower, soaping himself up and then washing off the bubbles, shampooing his hair and washing off the foam, and then soaping himself up and beginning the process all over again. 

He felt dirty all over.

The water was hot. Oh, so hot.

It burned, scalding his skin as thin rivulets ran down his face.

It hid the tears.

---

_"Hey, Granger, where's Potter?"_

_"You know, I think he said something about his Muggle Studies project." She sniffed rather disdainfully, obviously not approving of Harry's procrastination. "It's due in tomorrow. Ten feet of parchment, including diagrams. Of course," she added, "I already finished mine last week – ten feet, eleven inches."_

_"Oh. So he'd be…"_

_"He's working with a partner – if you're working by yourself you only need five feet."_

_Which explained why Hermione produced over ten feet of parchment._

_"Oh. So he'd be…" Draco said again, raising his eyebrows in question._

_"Muggle Studies classroom, I should expect. Why?"_

_"Just wondering. Wasn't at dinner. Wasn't at the Prefect meeting just now."_

_Hermione nodded. "Yeah. Probably hungry." She gave him a sideways look. "You could always bring him food as an excuse you know. His partner won't suspect a thing." She grinned rather evilly._

_Draco pretended to look shocked. "Moi? Bring food to Potter and his little study buddy? I don't think so." _

_He was already planning what to take from the kitchens._

_"Anyway," he said, turning to go, "I'll see you later, Granger."_

_"Bye, Draco!" she called, smiling as she gave a little wave._

---

Crabbe and Goyle were stuck at their respective homes, trying to take over family businesses and run the household in the absence of their parents. They wrote to Draco, explaining the need to make sure everything ran smoothly before they could return to school – which shouldn't take more than another couple weeks, maximum. They hoped. 

The two of them met up and spent an entire afternoon composing a letter to Draco, Goyle concentrating hard as he wrote, neatly striking out misspelled words as Crabbe moved around the desk, decorating the margins with little cartoons and beautiful ornamentation. 

Draco read the letter in his room – he had requested to be moved from the infirmary on the night he woke up, claiming that he slept more comfortably in his own bed. For the past two days, he had holed himself up in his room, refusing all visitors, not even bothering to answer the door and seeing no one unless it was Narcissa's voice through the door.   
  


He sighed, and stood in the middle of his room, dressed in pyjamas after his shower, and opened the letter from his friends.

_January 5_

_Hey Draco!_

_     xxxxx Vince and I got news today from Prof. Snape _

_that you woke up – great news, you know. We're xxxxx _

_really happy, me and Vince both. We want to go see you, _

_but we need to take care of our xxx xxx xxxxx xxxx xxxxxx _

_xxxxxxxxx businesses before we can come back. It really _

_sucks, Draco, but I gess we was all expecting it – we new_

_our fathers and mothers xxxxx wouldn't be here no more_

_if a war had started anyway. I gess we're just glad that _

_they aren't dead, you know?   _

_     Anyway, the work isn't hard, it's just tiring. I mean, all _

_our Papas did was stay home and wait for the money to_

_roll in. We do the same now – just have to xxxxx transfur _

_everything to our names first, and sign a lot of stuff._

_     We hope to be back soon – this xxxx shouldn't take _

_more than 2 weeks, max. I think. Vince says earlier, in _

_time for school, but I dunno._

_     REST._

_Your friends, _

_Gregory Goyle_

_Vincent Crabbe_

The two of them had painstakingly signed their names at the bottom in wobbly script. The parchment was blotted, the writing was all over the place, and when Draco scanned his eyes over it again, he noticed a postscript at the bottom, almost hidden by Crabbe's designs.

_P.S. We no Potter's at school with you. How are things_

_     with him? Are you anywhere near forgiving him yet?_

_~V.C and G.G_

Draco sighed and slumped into his bed. Booboo crawled out from under the pillow when it felt his weight on the mattress and settled down next to him. "Why Day-co sad?" it asked, rubbing a paw on Draco's jaw. 

Draco just sighed again.

---

_Draco opened the door._

_There was silence for that brief, fleeting second his heart broke, the pieces cutting deep inside him. Draco just stared, as his heart stopped beating for a millisecond, as his nerves frantically sent the message to his brain for process, as his muscles tensed just enough to push himself away from the door and run._

_So he turned. And ran._

---

"Nothing's wrong, Booboo." 

"Day-co read letta fum Cabbie and Goyle?"__

"Yes, Booboo. I'm happy they wrote, even though I feel a bit sad that they have to handle so much now."

Booboo nodded. "Booboo knows. And Booboo knows Day-co sad from Hay-wee Pottie." 

"Harry Potter? Why?" Draco closed his eyes painfully, trying to stop the assail of memories. Of a particular memory.

"Booboo knows. Booboo he-ah for Day-co."

"Yes, Booboo. I know you're he-ah, um, here for me. It's just. I don't know."

"Wud Day-co mind telling Booboo?"

"You know what happened. I told Mother already. You were there, too."

Booboo climbed to sit on Draco's neck and held his face between its paws. "Booboo want to know _exactly_ what Pottie did to make Booboo's Day-co so, so sad."

"Booboo…I…it's…"

Booboo nodded and bent to give Draco a small kiss, like that of a child to its mother. "Ookie."

---

_Harry looked up at him, a guilty expression painted over his features, eyes widening at recognition. Too late he pushed himself away, shrugging his shirt on properly, grabbing his robes as he lunged towards the Draco in one smooth motion. Too late. Harry stood, halfway out into the corridor, shirt still hanging open, tie fallen from around his neck, belt half undone, and robes bundled in one hand as Draco ran._

_Run, run, run, never to go back again. Never. It was a strong word, but Draco was a strong person, and what did it matter if he didn't go back when it would never come to him again?_

_Draco slowed down to quick, long strides down the crowded corridors of Hogwarts, students flowing away form him as soon as they saw his figure down the hall. No one dared to stand in his way. No one dared._

_He was suddenly aware that his eyes were stinging as he made his way to his bedroom, roughly pushing some stupid Slytherins out of his way. Quickly tearing his clothes off and falling into bed, he willed away the image burned into his neurons, burned into his memory for all eternity – the image of – of – Gods, he can't even voice in his head what he had just borne witness to._

_Harry – no, Potter – Harry with his robes in a puddle on the floor, Harry with his tie undone and his shirt open and pushed off his shoulders, Harry with his head thrown back, eyes closed in ecstasy, Harry with another boy's mouth on his crotch as clumsy hands fumbled with his belt. Harry's look when he knew he had been caught – there could not have been any misunderstandings about the situation._

_Draco took a deep, shaky breath and closed his eyes tightly._

---

Booboo was _enraged_. 

Well, as enraged as a cute little stuffed animal can get. To be honest, Draco was rather amused at an 'enraged' Booboo and was hiding a smile beneath his fringe, even though the smile was rather bitter.

"Grrrrrrrrrr," Booboo said, jumping up and down on the pillow, unsuccessfully trying to stomp on the bouncy material and squash it flat. "Bad, bad Hay-wee Pottie. BAD, bad Hay-wee Pottie. Grrrr." It couldn't really shout or growl properly since it was a plushie, but still, it did its best.

"Yes, Booboo." Draco grabbed it mid-jump and held it up to eye-level as it continued to 'growl'. "Baby, listen to your Mummy." 

Draco blushed instantly, reprimanding himself for his childishness. 

"Booboo, look at me. Am I mad?" Booboo shook its head. "Then why should Booboo be mad? We are _above_ him, Booboo, we are above human emotions. We are above lowly, petty feelings of anger, hurt, fondness. We are Malfoys."

Booboo had listened to a lot of such speeches through the years, and so only nodded and patted Draco's hand in agreement. 

Draco opened his mouth to continue, but instead slumped over and fell back onto his bed, holding Booboo above him.

There was silence as solid black eyes looked into mercuric silver. "Does Day-co love Pottie?" Booboo asked quietly.

Draco only stared back. "Lo…love?" he stuttered. He kissed the top of Booboo's head and held it close, smiling. "You know I love you most, Booboo." 

Booboo's voice was muffled against Draco's chest. "Day-co love Booboo like Mummy love baby. Does Day-co love Pottie like…like…" Booboo was momentarily lost for words. It pondered for a few seconds. "Like Wo-meo and Ju-et?"

_Like Romeo and Juliet?!_

"Uh…" Draco didn't know what to say. 

"Day-co dun have to answer. Day-co knows answer within." Booboo tried to nod sagely, but was unsuccessful with Draco squeezing it so tightly.

"I…" 

Draco fell silent.

***

Sometimes it hurt to look at him. It did, really, _literally_ hurt his eyes to look at him, to look at his brilliance, his beauty, his grace, his – his everything. It was the kind of ache from looking at beautiful things that made you want to turn away to soothe your eyes, but was unable to because you just _couldn't_ turn away from all the _beauty_.

Harry couldn't stop staring at Draco. Narcissa had left that morning – Malfoy family business. Somehow, she had managed to make it sound sinister when she announced it at dinner last night, sitting next to Draco, who finally left his room to pick and stare at his plate. 

It was morning now, and Harry knew Draco must have just seen his mother off because his cheeks had just the faintest touch of wind on them and his robes had a tossed look as they fluttered with Draco's movements.

Draco's first meal with the rest of the school last night had been tense. Harry had spent the entire time staring at him. Ron had spent the entire time kicking Harry under the table and shooting glares at Draco. Hermione had spent the entire time trying to keep Ron from just going over and killing Draco flat out. The teachers had just sat, staring at them.

It had been a little stressful, to put it lightly. 

Breakfast now was no different. However, with Narcissa gone, Ron felt comfortable enough to make loud, rude, _untrue_ comments about Draco, and Harry felt a surge of anger. 

He saw Hermione glance at him quickly before slapping Ron on the shoulder hard enough that everyone in the Hall heard its echo.

Draco didn't even look up. 

Harry continued staring. His eyes hurt with the reflection of the bright morning sunlight on silvery blond hair, and the porcelain white skin glowing harshly beside black fabric made his eyes and head ache just slightly.

Draco stood up suddenly, and left. Harry's stare was unwavering as he watched Draco stalk out, head held high, every inch of him perfect, beautiful, so beautiful that Harry's eyes hurt even more now and no he wasn't going to cry but he could feel them tearing up because – because – because of the beauty, not because he was watching his heart's greatest desire walking away from him, not because he had what he wanted in his hands but he let go of it and it was just stupid to cry over something that you caused intentionally because it was intentional but why did he do it why was he so stupid why didn't he have a stronger resolve why – 

"Harry?" Hermione's touch was light on his arm. "Is everything alright?"

Harry blinked suddenly, rapidly, and took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes, everything's fine."

---

_"Hey, so the batteries give electricity how? Justin?" Harry's head turned to see Justin's face inches away from his, eyes focused on his lips. "Uh, Justin?" he asked, and winced inwardly as he registered how incredibly squeaky he sounded._

_"Mhm?" the other boy said, shifting closer on the bench so that their sides were now pressed up against each other as he slung an arm around Harry's shoulders. Harry's cheeks flushed and he ducked his head slightly. _

_"The batteries, you know. How do they – what are you DOING?!" Harry gasped, horrified as a hand found itself on his thigh and Justin leaned all the closer to read Harry's parchment. _

_"Reading what you wrote. And they don't actually give electricity per se. They give the energy. You see the cells here – " Justin's other hand pointed to the diagram of a cell battery drawn on the parchment, twisting around Harry's neck and brushing against bare skin. "It gives off an electric current and this gives power. Electricity. In a small quantity."_

_"Oh." Harry wrote it down, and was painfully aware that his right arm was sliding across Justin's chest as he did so. _

_"You smell nice."_

_"What?!" Harry jumped slightly, and Justin gave a small laugh. _

_"I said you smell nice."_

_"Oh. Uh, thanks, I guess?"_

_Justin's smile widened and he leaned in closer to sniff at Harry's neck, who held very still, shocked and unsure of what to do. He didn't want to push Justin away – would that be rude? He didn't want to offend anyone. Most of all, he didn't want to leave the project half finished and end up doing the whole thing himself. As long as Justin didn't take it too far, right? As long as nothing *real* happened, then Harry could let it go, right?_

_Right?!_

---

Harry walked slowly to the library. The students had been given permission to visit Hogsmeade today, and so, naturally, they had all disappeared after breakfast. 

He sighed, mind full of Draco-thoughts, and sighed again as he watched his feet make their way down the hall. 

Harry stopped suddenly as he turned a corner.

Draco. 

He had his back to Harry, and was walking very slowly down the corridor, one hand on the wall to keep his balance. His hair was tied back neatly in a ponytail at the nape of his neck and a teddy bear was hanging from it, tiny paws around the hair like a koala hugging a tree. Draco was talking quietly to the bear, and Harry watched as Draco stopped his lethargic walk and leaned against the wall, holding a shaky hand against his forehead.

Was he dizzy? Harry fought the urge to run over, and instead just stood, watching the bear hastily climb over to sit on Draco's shoulder and rub its paws against his temple.

Harry inched towards them, and could make out the bear asking, "Day-co a'ight? Day-co sit down! Day-co don' scare Booboo!!" Draco nodded weakly and slid to the floor, still propped up against the wall. He curled up, head resting on his knees, and Booboo asked something Harry couldn't hear and Draco nodded and Booboo climbed off and waddled off as fast as its short legs could go. It went back towards Harry's direction, and didn't even see Harry until it ran straight into his ankles. 

It looked up, and Harry looked down. For a second, he was so shocked all he could do was stare. "Hay-wee Pottie!" it said. "Hay-wee Pottie _must_ help Day-co!" It tugged at the hem of his robe. "Day-co hurt!" 

Harry was sure that if it could cry, it would be blubbering away right now. He nodded, and picked the bear up, cradling it in the crook of his arm. "It'll be okay," he said softly, quickly striding over to Draco, who was at the end of the corridor, a good twenty metres away. 

"It'll be okay."

---

_Justin's hand continued sliding up, fingers brushing Harry's inner thigh lightly, sending a sharp tingle right to Harry's groin. A tongue licked at the pulse point on his neck, and Harry bit his lip, eyes fluttering shut. _

_It felt so *good*. _

_Firm hands on his shoulders twisted Harry towards Justin, who continued nipping at his neck as he slowly undid Harry's tie and unbuttoned his shirt, one button at a time, fingertips barely brushing against Harry's skin._

_The last button, and then Justin's hands went to cup Harry's cheeks, green eyes opening wide at the touch. He leaned in for a kiss, and Harry scrambled away suddenly, running a distracted hand through his hair._

_"I…I can't. This. I can't. It just. You. We. I."_

_Justin got up and moved towards Harry. "You liked it," he said, voice low and rumbling. "You liked it when I touched you. Why don't you let me? I can make you feel good, Harry. You know you liked it. You *do* like it."_

_"I…this…"_

_"You want me to. And I'll make you feel more pleasure than you've ever felt before."_

---

Harry pulled the covers up and tucked Draco tightly into bed. He sighed, glad that his Prefect status gave him a "skeleton password" that allowed him to enter. 

The bear, Booboo, was sitting on the pillow, playing with strands of Draco's hair. 

Draco had somehow fainted, collapsed, whatever – just that he had lost consciousness and Harry had to carry him back here. Harry tilted his head, and his eyes roamed Draco's sleeping face hungrily, tracing over his features like a blind man seeing for the first time. He knew Draco was still incredibly frail – his breathing was so shallow that he didn't seem to be breathing at all, the sheets were so still around him.

Booboo was humming a song now, and rocking back and forth, still clutching Draco's hair. It looked up suddenly, and gave Harry a Look. "Why Hay-wee Pottie still he-ah?" 

"I just want to make sure he's alright."

"Day-co a'ight. Booboo takes care of Day-co. Unlike some." 

It was hard to believe that Draco's teddy bear could pass off the Malfoy Look as well, and Harry felt distinctly uncomfortable and shifty. "I do," he said weakly.

Booboo just stared. 

Harry frowned. "I do," he said, louder this time. 

Booboo kept staring. 

"I did," he said, and then sighed. "I didn't."

Booboo nodded like a wise old man, and started to knot Draco's hair messily, finally looking away from Harry. "Hee," it said. 

Harry supposed it was supposed to be said disdainfully rather than cheerfully, and so replied, "Yeah." 

"Hee," it said again. 

Harry hung his head. "I know."

"Hee."

Harry sniffed, pressing the heel of his palms into his closed eyes. "I know, I know, I'm so sorry, I just…"

Booboo stopped, and looked up at him again. "Pottie. Just. You know."

Harry nodded. "I guess. Yes. I just wish – no, you're right. He needs…I need to…He wants…I will."

---

_Harry threw his head back, not caring at as he struck painfully against the stone wall. Justin's tongue flicked across his nipple, and Harry couldn't help but cry out as his fingers dug into Justin's shoulders._

_"Justin," he said, breathless._

_Justin bit lightly on Harry's nipple and lifted his head. "More?" _

_Harry chewed on his lip for a bare second before giving a brief, hesitant nod. Justin grinned, and resumed his previous task before making his way lower as his hands slid up Harry's thighs, one of them stroking him through his trousers as the other tried to undo his belt._

_"Oh!" Harry squeezed his eyes shut, arching against the wall, towards Justin's hands. He could feel the gritty stone slide against his exposed shoulders, and knew they would be red and scratched when this was all over. _

_~so close so close~_

_He could feel Justin's breath through the fabric of his trousers, wet and hot, and Harry suddenly wanted Justin to hurry up and get his belt un-DONE already so he could feel that mouth on his straining erection._

_"Justin," he moaned. "Hurry."_

_In reply, Justin licked him through the fabric, being in no hurry to rush things along._

_Harry almost screamed, letting out a strangled groan instead. _

_The door slammed, and Harry frowned, the noise cutting through his haze of arousal, and he opened his darkened green eyes to see silver ones staring straight into his._

---

Harry touched Draco's pallid cheek softly. "Take care of him for me," he said.

"Pottie knows Booboo will."

"I – I do love him, you know."

"Why Pottie tell Booboo?"

"I – I just."

"Hay-wee Pottie can't stay he-ah. Day-co don' want and told Booboo to keep you away. Booboo already bad baby for asking Pottie's help."

Harry nodded. "Yes. I know. I." He leaned over and brushed his lips on Draco's forehead. "I love you," he whispered, fighting back tears as he straightened and walked out of the room without a second glance.

Booboo watched him go, tilting its head to its side, the expression in his eyes somehow human.

To Be Continued!

**More notes:** Sorry this was a kinda short chapter. All in all, I think it was alright (winces) but not best. I'm getting myself confused with how Booboo talks, heehee. Ah well. I don't know why Booboo was so mean in the last part, but maybe it's because his respect for "Pottie" decreased rather dramatically after hearing what he did. Of course, he heard when Draco told Narcissa, but I don't think Draco told Narcissa _everything_ because he just isn't that type of person. 

**Next Chapter:** Well, I did most of what I said I'd put into Chapters 18/19, so maybe this part will be shorter than Part 1. Or, rather, definitely shorter than Part 1. Or maybe I'll add in something else *ducks flying tomatoes*. Hee! Happy ending though, I promise, because I need one for them! 

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:** **Akemi**_ – Hee, yes he has a booboo. Heehee. Couldn't resist. Thank you for reading and reviewing!_, **mistykasumi**_ – Thank you so much for your review! I think Narcissa would be a good mom, why not? Heehee…_, **Aurora**_ – Thank you for reading! Had exams, so didn't really work on this until…last night, hee. Hope it was okay!,_ **Callisto Firestarter** _– Thank you so much for your review! I took French at GCSE level, so I'm not really good at it, but I'm glad I managed to sneak that little sentence in! Um. Hee, chapter 16 is actually the start of Part 2…sorry for not making it clearer!_, **Tsuyuno**_ – I'm sooo glad you like Booboo! Harry *was* wrong, and he's feeling like crap for it, but I think Draco still can't find it in him to forgive Harry yet. Maybe cause the wound is still fresh? And you're welcome, by the way. I *always* get sick on planes. I think it's because of the circulation thing. You breathe in everyone else's air for the whole flight. Ick._, Playboy Bunny_,_ **chrisseee667**_ – Hope this chapter answered your questions! If not, ask me again, heehee, but I'll definitely give more details as the story goes on. I think Part 2 will be a lot shorter than Part 1, but I might add something, so I'm guessing…*maybe* in the twenties? 23? 25? It's a really, really rough estimate right now. Thank you for reviewing!,_ havelock, Mi Su_,_ Anna, Jezebel_,_ **Shikala**_ – Thank you! I'm really really happy that you think so highly of the way I wrote the story and characters! Hope you enjoyed chapter 17!,_ **crimson nightmare**_ – I got part of all 3 reviews, thank you! I sometimes get annoyed with ff.net too, but then they have such a HUGE website with so many hits and users and…you know? I'm so glad you liked chapter 16…hope you like chapter 17 too! If you get confused about the story (I can be a really confusing person) please feel free to email/ask!,_ Milady69_,_ Queen Vegeta_,_ **mystic-flower**_ – Hmm. Well, I think cheating is something that hurts Draco a lot. Pride issues, trust issues…He trusted Harry, which I think is saying a lot, and he had genuine feelings for Harry…and then it all gets spoiled and he gets betrayed, probably at a time when he needed Harry most…,_ **Jubilee**_ – Ooh, I'm glad you like Narcissa and Booboo…and yes, there *are* problems with having a magically enhanced toy. I think most children are weaned off it, but in Draco's case, he probably remained so close since there was no other alternative and because Narcissa was such an indulgent mother. I agree with you about Justin. Hee. Will have to think of some way to "deal" with him, hee. And yes…I don't ever remember the big huge war being half an hour long either, LOL! Hope you like this chapter, especially with the delay!!,_ **S. Wing** _– Why not try skipping? Sometimes it's more fun, heehee. And I'm glad you like all the angst in this – hope you enjoy this chapter!_, **Yoink Daydurfurits**_ – Thank you for your review! Hm…Sorry that chapter 16 was confusing. I basically separated this story into 2 parts, before fight and after fight. Chapter 16 begins Part 2 and starts after the fight, so it's mentioned as a thing of the past._, **Bunny-kuo**_ – Eeee! Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad it lives up to its angsty half-genre, and I'm so happy you like the characters and the writing and oh, I'm just so happy you like it! Hope you liked this chapter too!, _**Amy-la**_ – Thank YOU for reviewing *bear hugs*, and I think I'll definitely make Booboo a stronger supporting character for Draco, so thank you again!,_** Cheyseri@aol.com**_ - Um…Harry and Seamus?! Um…do you mean Harry and Justin? And you didn't miss anything – I wrote it as an event that had happened…I kinda skipped over that part and put it as something that happened between the last chapter and then. Hee. Feel free to ask about anything else that might be confusing. Thank you for reading!_, **TanisaFyre**_ - *severely sweatdrops* hee? Um. I absolutely *promise* a happy ending, really! Promise! And…and…I'm already building up protection for this chapter and the ones to come. I think I'm THIS CLOSE to getting fatally tomato-ed. Heehee…Happy is…hard right now…heehee? *ducks for cover* Did you like this not-so-happy chapter? Maybe made you want to hit Harry? Or Justin? Or both? And PROMISE there'll be a happy ending. I myself *live* for happy endings!,_** Liliku**_ – Heehee…Harry wasn't quite thinking. At least not with his proper head. As for the one in his pants…*blush*…,_** real bluefalls dark.ness** – _Hmm, hope this chapter answered your question. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!!,_** queenofgondor21**_ - *ducks flying monkeys* Exams! I plead study leave for exams! Heehee. Things will work out in the end…stay around for it!!, _**The Insane Floo Pot**_ – Oh, I love your s/n! Heehee, sorry about the chapter confusion. My fault, sorry! Chapter 16 was the beginning of Part 2, and the series is called "Unmistakeably Clear". Harry's heart stopped cause he realised Narcissa knew about him cheating on Draco. I guess it was just a moment of panic? Heehee. Hope you like this chapter!,_** GLow – **_Heehee…heeheehee…hee…hope you keep reading long enough to find out! Oh, and neat little fact about Lucius (the emperor dude)…heehee…Thank you!,_** Silmarien**_ – Thank you for your review! Hope you liked this chapter!,_** Anne Phoenix**_ – eee…sorry about the cliffhanger. I didn't really continue with it in this chapter…it didn't flow very well the first time I wrote it…anyway, hope this chapter is a good enough substitute for the other…!, _**throbbing-squirm**_ – Thank you thank you thank you! Hope you like this chapter, too!,_** Anita Blake **_– Heehee…wrote snippets of the Harry/Justin thing here…hope that this was what you had in mind…? Thank you for your review!,_** Klea** _– LOL! Hope you don't get too lost…! And thank you for reading!,_** Aurenne**_ – Thank you sooo much!! The Night of Draco's Initiation will be a topic for the future, heehee, but I definitely *will* write a chapter which gives *some* detail of what happened…Thank you for reading and reviewing and everything!,_** Lia Santana**_ – I'm so so glad you like this story! I definitely *will* have flashbacks of That Night, heehee, and I hope that questions about That Night will be answered in the chapter…until then…shh…! And thank you, exams are almost over!! I lived (barely)!,_** I Am The Bunny Slayer**_ – Evil author classes? *hides* maybe? :D? I will fix! But not before some more 'fun' happens! *hides again*…,_** jeannie81** _– Thank you for your review, and also for your reviews of my other stories! Thank you (I needed the luck for exams) and hope this chapter answered the question about C&G…Thank you!!!!!!_

**I REALLY need to stop writing such long thank-you notes. I am such a long-winded person, I swear. Hee.**


	18. Questions

_Title:_ Clear -  Unmistakably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 3:_ Questions

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

"Don't you _dare_ say those things about him _ever_ again!" Harry glared at Ron, hands still curled into shaking fists. 

Ron's nose was bleeding, and a bruise was rapidly spreading on his left cheek. Hermione stood between the two of them, shocked. "My God, Harry…" she mumbled, but then was silent as she watched her two best friends stand off against each other.

"You know bloody well that whatever I said was true!" Ron shouted, moving towards Harry, wiping at his blood furiously.

"Well I know more, and everything you said was fake! They're just the lies you made up to yourself because you hate him!" Harry's eyes flashed, and he took a step forward as well. 

"Well how the fucking hell do _you_ know you have the truth?"

"Because I fucking _saw_ it with my own eyes! I'd have died if it wasn't for Draco!" 

"And how the fuck do _we_ know? Or anyone else, for that matter? You've never even tried to prove it to us and you just expect us to believe you just like that?!" 

"Yes! Because you two are _supposed_ to be my best friends! I thought that you would understand that I needed time before I was ready to tell you, or anyone else, what happened that night because I almost lost him for real and I wanted to fucking _die_ when I saw him in the hospital wing after the attack!"

Complete and utter silence.

"He's a _bastard," Ron spat, "and you are the hero, Harry. It just doesn't work like that."_

"How is it supposed to work then? Am I supposed to hate him forever, for things that he didn't do, would never do, but would commit his life to if he thought it would help me? _I love him_," he said tightly, voice quite and strained in the stillness of the room. "And nothing is going to change that. I loved him well before anything happened, and it's time you accepted that _I_ was the one who went to _him_," he said, unconsciously mirroring Draco's past words. "I choose him because I love him and I love him because he's brave and strong and kind and…and…and everything and anything that I could possibly ever want…" he trailed off and lowered his head, hiding his suddenly bright eyes.

"Well what about Justin?" Ron said challengingly. "You go and almost screw Justin and then you turn around and say you love Malfoy?"

"Yes!" said Harry desperately. "I was caught in a vulnerable moment. Draco and I were having problems, yes, and when Justin paid so much attention to me then, I weakened and betrayed Draco."

"_Betrayed," Ron sneered, face twisting into an ugly expression. "You make it sound as if it had nothing to do with Malfoy."_

"It was just _my fault!"_

"And what about Malfoy's fault?"

"It had nothing to do with him, you understand? It was just me, me, ME, ME, _ME!!!"_

Ron stared.

"Draco had dozens and dozens of lives in his hands – lives belonging to those of the light. I had nothing riding on the Christmas attack except for my own well-being and life. Everything – the whole thing relied on him. Could you possibly imagine the pressure he was under? And he did it all without a murmur, without a word, merely nodding at all Dumbledore asked of him." Harry began to pace the room, running a distracted hand through his tousled hair. His eyes rested on Hermione, who was sitting, still, on the sofa. He had completely forgotten that she was still there. 

"I could do nothing to help. I was trained to avoid the Death Eaters and trained on the method of destroying Voldemort. I was trained to keep myself alive, whilst Draco spent all that time alone, left with only his morbid thoughts on what was to happen. True, his pain and distress was caused by his father, but I had the ability to relieve him of it, and I ignored him in favour of the 'greater good'. There _can_ be no greater good if he is unhappy, but I, too, bowed to the wishes of the Order."

"Harry…" Hermione began softly, but stopped when Harry spoke once more.

"He was unwell too, you know. Can you imagine, being sick and tired and in physical pain and yet having to practice with Snape all those nights, to perfect his incantations, having to go to meetings with Dumbledore and sometimes the Order. It was so much, and was too much for him – I've had experience, he had none. And so he started pushing me away during what little time we had together, not literally of course, just in the way that he got so much more snappish and angry with me more often as well. I just…I wanted his attention, but I didn't know how to get it. I wanted to comfort him, but he wouldn't allow me – I think he was afraid he'd somehow hurt me."

"You can't blame yourself for all this, you know," Ron said, much more calmly now. "He had a part to play in it, and it was his fault as much as yours. You were lonely because he pushed you away – you just said it yourself."

"You don't understand," Harry said. "You _can't_ understand. It was so much more complicated than I'm making it out to be."

"How complicated?" Ron asked. "Tell us."

Harry sighed. "I. It's just. So hard to. You weren't there, and it's just impossible to explain how things were. And that's not the point anyway. I just want you two to recognise that Draco was the hero of the war, not me. And I hope you two could give him the respect he deserves, even if you, Ron, can't bring yourself to accept him."

Ron just stared. "I don't want to," he said grudgingly, "but I'll try."

"Thank you," Harry said, exhausted, collapsing on the sofa next to Hermione as she gave him a sideways hug and smile.

---

Draco sighed, and woke up. 

"Boo?" he mumbled wearily, blinking at Booboo's face pressed right up against his.

"Day-co wake up!" Booboo exclaimed happily. "Booboo happy!"

Draco smiled a little and stroked his bear behind the ear. "How long have I been asleep?"

"All day. Booboo _so_ worried."

"Oh."

"Sum-fing wrong?" Booboo asked, jumping off the bed in pursuit of a cup of tea.

"Just had a strange dream."

"Tell Booboo. Booboo will tell what dream meant."

Draco frowned. "I was with you, walking down the street. And then we saw a street performer with his pig, which was a stuffed animal, though it was alive. I went to pet it, but it kept on trying to reach you, and so I kept on pushing it away, telling it to leave you alone, but still petting it at the same time."

Booboo nodded. "Pig was sum-fing you want. You kept wanting to pet. But you also afraid it will take away or kill sum-fing very dear to you because Day-co said it kept wanting to eat me."

Draco blinked. His bear had just psycho-analysed his dream. "It's just a dream Booboo," he said, laughing lightly, not wanting to think about its real meaning. "Wait," he said suddenly. "Who brought me back here?"

Booboo reappeared on the bed, paws empty. "Rest, Day-co," it said, refusing to answer the question.

"Snape?" Draco asked, sitting up. "McGonagall? A teacher? Dumbledore? Madam Pomfrey? Who?"

"Pottie did, Day-co." 

Draco's eyes widened so large that Booboo was half afraid they'd fall out of their sockets. Or explode from the fury that was in them. "Booboo bad?" it squeaked.

"No, no, Booboo good," Draco said, reaching out to hold his bear. "I just. I still can't bring myself to forgive Potter."

"What about later?"

"I don't think there ever will be a later."

---

_Meet me in the music room tonight, _midnight___._

A short note, unsigned, and yet Draco knew that Potter had sent it; he could recognise the handwriting, even though he had only seen it a few times. He rumpled the note and dropped the pieces onto the floor carelessly. Two more days until school started again, fourteen more weeks until their NEWTs, and seventeen more weeks until they graduated from Hogwarts and Draco would never ever see Harry Potter again.

Yet, with all Draco's resentment towards Potter, he knew he would be there, at the music room, tonight at midnight.

By the Gods, he was pathetic.

---

Harry paced the room nervously, waiting for Draco to arrive. He had gone early, to wait, but it turned out to be a bad idea. There were too many memories in this room, most of them good, all of them concerning Draco and him. 

Harry sighed, and trailed a finger on the edge of the window seat, looking up at the moon outside.

The door opened and Harry whirled as Draco entered, the wooden door shutting silently behind him.

There was silence for a brief, short moment, and then Draco spoke. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk with you."

"There is nothing left to say."

"There is."

Draco raised an eyebrow in question. 

Harry's gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet with Draco's accusing glare. "I'm asking you for your forgiveness, Draco. What I did was wrong, and there is no excuse for it. I didn't do it out of spite. I didn't do it so you would be jealous and want me again. I didn't give into Justin because my body wanted it. I was lonely, Draco."

He paused, chewing his inner cheek nervously before continuing. "Something was wrong with us – there was a rift or something, and I didn't know how to close it and you weren't willing to help. I needed – I needed someone to say kind things to me, someone to pet me, and do it as a lover, not as a friend. You were – you were unable to give those things to me for your own reason, and when Justin offered, I. Just. All those lonely feelings kind of brainwashed me," he finished lamely. He looked up at Draco for an answer, a reply, a response, anything, and was Draco's back.

Silence was between them once more, and Harry felt his pulse speeding up as he bit his bottom lip nervously. "Draco?" he said softly.

Draco turned, and Harry stepped back, eyes widening. "Why do you always have to make things so hard for me?" Draco asked in a low voice, as a lone silver tear burned its trail down his porcelain cheek. 

"I – I…" Harry stammered.

"Why won't you let me forget you? Why won't you let me heal after all the hurt you've done to me? Why won't you let me go? Why is it that every time I believe I'm over you, you go and do something that makes me question myself all over again? Like the day in the hospital wing. Why did you have to come see me? Why did you have to look at me like that? Why are you looking at me like that now? Or what about the day before? Why did you have to take me back to my room? Why did you have to be so concerned? Why didn't you find someone else to do it for you? Why do you still care?" Draco finally screamed, clenching his hands into tight fists, a flood of tears now cascading from his eyes. "I know I was cold towards you when we were still together – that's why you did what you did, right? So why are you here now, asking me to forgive you? Why?"

"Because, Draco," said Harry, reaching out to rest his fingertips on Draco's chin. "Because I still love you."

Draco shook his head slowly. "Don't say that. Don't look at me like that when you say those words because you're making me think it's real. I don't want to think it's real because it's not."

"It is." Harry stepped closer.

"No," Draco whispered.

"Yes." 

"No."

"Yes," Harry breathed, leaning in.

Draco pulled back, but Harry gripped him around the waist tightly. "Don't run away from me," he whispered. 

"Please," Draco whimpered. "Don't."

Harry closed the few inches between them, eyes dropping shut, and placed a soft, soft kiss on Draco's lips, salty from his tears.

---

Draco was so shocked he could only stand there as Potter kissed him, so delicately, so gently, and so lovingly that Draco felt as if his heart would burst should it continue. Harry's lips were chapped and rough but warm and so, so tender as they touched to his own.

Draco wrenched himself away, breathing heavily, tears still blurring his vision. Harry's eyes were so full of love, and they gazed upon him with such adoration that Draco's brain screamed at him to _RUN_ and so he did, spinning around and flinging the door open to dash out of the room, leaving Potter alone in the music room. 

He reached his room still sobbing, lungs feeling as if they should burst from their sprint through the castle, and emotionally drained from the few short minutes he had spent with Potter just then.

Draco collapsed onto his bed, and Booboo immediately set to work removing his outer robes and unlacing his shoes. In a matter of minutes, Draco was sprawled on top of his comforter, clutching his bear as he desperately tried to stop his tears, biting down harshly on his lip to keep from crying out.

He sniffed, and set Booboo down onto the pillow, before crawling to the end of his bed, where his trunk stood. Opening it, he rummaged around for a bottle, and pulled it out, ignoring Booboo's pleas and whimpers as he opened it and drank. Only this time, it wasn't just a few mouthfuls, as Draco tipped his head back and the iridescent liquid continued to flow endlessly into his waiting mouth.

---

Draco stayed in his room for the rest of the holiday, not even coming out for meals. Booboo, who had reacquainted with Dobby during its first venture into the kitchen in search of food for Draco, stayed with him throughout, and Dobby brought meals to his room on strict orders that no one should know of the arrangement. 

However, on this particular morning, there was no escape, for lessons started today. The rest of the students had arrived in the late afternoon yesterday, though Crabbe and Goyle hadn't been with them. 

Just as he was working on his composure to go to breakfast in the Great Hall while lingering in the Slytherin common room, he was ambushed by two huge skulking monsters – Crabbe and Goyle.

"I thought you two wouldn't be back until next week!" Draco laughed.

"Couldn't wait to come back and see how you were doing," Goyle said, as Crabbe picked Draco up and tossed him through the air to Goyle, who caught him neatly. 

"Is everything taken care of then?" Draco smiled as he was set back on his feet. 

"Sure."

They fell into a comfortable silence, the two of them eyeing Draco carefully, checking for damages. "So," said Goyle. "How have things been?"

"Not so great. But I'll tell you about it later. We have lessons soon, you know."

Crabbe's eyes narrowed as they scrutinized him, and Goyle frowned as he said, "Draco. You have to stop with the…you know. You'll kill yourself – you know how it is."

Draco waved a careless hand. "I'll be alright."

"I thought we settled this already. Did something happen?"

Draco couldn't meet their eyes. "No."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened, alright? Harry Potter kissed me a couple nights ago, but nothing happened."

Complete and utter silence as Crabbe and Goyle stared at Draco, who was currently busy with banging his head against the wall. Crabbe growled suddenly. "I'm gonna _kill him," he roared, and Goyle nodded in agreement as the two of them rushed towards the common room entrance, snarling death threats._

"Wait! Don't!" said Draco, holding out a hand to them. "Don't," he repeated. "It's not worth the trouble. Really. It's fine. _I'm_ fine."

"You're not!" Goyle said indignantly. "You're anything _but_ fine and it's his entire fault!"

"Just don't! I'm serious. It's not worth it. _He's_ not worth it, not anymore. I need to get over him, and you two are going to, too."

The two of them hesitated for a moment, before Crabbe sighed and nodded. "Fine."

"Good," Draco said. "Because I can't let myself be that exposed to anyone ever again. And I won't. Not ever again."

To Be Continued!

**Notes: I'm SO terribly sorry that this chapter was so late. There is absolutely no excuse, and I apologise for the long wait. Hopefully, this chapter was alright, and I'll definitely try and get the next part out sooner, promise! Thank you especially to **Jubilee**, who gave me the extra "oomph" I needed to hurry and post. :p Thank you!!!!!!**

*****I think that some people didn't/forgot to sign in or something when they wrote me reviews, and so were all lumped under xing@ff.net…If you were, then if you had questions, they'd but answered under that name, and thank you for reviewing, even though I couldn't see your name :p *** **

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:** Akemi, **mistykasumi**_ – Thank you for reading! I'm so glad that Clear is making its way up on your favourites list, and hope you enjoyed this chapter too!, Aurora_,_ **Callisto**** Firestarter**__ – Glad that the French was at least passable! Draco is definitely still frail, and he's definitely making it worse as well…Thank you for reading, and thank you very much for your review!, **Tsuyuno**_ – I actually sketched Booboo during class. I'll see if I can scan it any time soon. Heehee. And yes, it'll take a while for Draco to forgive Harry. But! I've prepared something that should put them together again. Should. Heehee. I think that Draco forgiving Harry will be the end of the story…and I'm estimating this to go into the early 20's, so there are a few more chapters to go. Thanks for reading!!!_, Playboy Bunny_,_ chrisseee667_,_ havelock, Mi Su_,_ Anna, **Jezebel_ – Heehee, you're right, but details will have to come later I'm soo glad you like Booboo, and thank you for your review!,_ **Shikala****__ – Thank you so much for your review! It's always a pleasure to receive and reply to reviews, and I'm happy that you enjoy both just as much as I do :D I haven't lost faith yet, and definitely will finish the story. Thank you very very much for reading and reviewing all these chapters :), **crimson nightmare**_ – I like your explanation of Harry – because, yes, he is human! And a lonely human is also much, much easier to seduce. Plus a hot, lonely human, heehee. There will be a happy ending (have I said this before?!) and I'm glad you like Booboo! Hope you like this chapter!!!,_ Milady69_,_ Queen Vegeta_,_ mystic-flower_,_ **Jubilee**_ – Thank you for your patience! I seriously think that Lucius was the type of father to have seriously warped Draco since childbirth, so I think it's mostly that aspect of Draco keeping him from getting back with Harry so soon. I think. And no, your reviews are not scary! Really! All reviews are encouragements for me to write more and more and (sometimes, heehee) soon…,_ **S. Wing**_ – I'm glad you liked all the angsty stuff. Hope this chapter had enough to sufficiently satisfy you! Thank you for reading!_, Yoink Daydurfurits, **Bunny-kuo**_ – Thank you SOOOOO much for your review! You're too kind, and your words mean a lot to me. I'm glad you didn't get confused with the flashbacks (because it gave me a helluva headache trying to figure it out, heehee) and I hope you like this chapter too, even with all its lateness…, _Amy-la_,_ Cheyseri@aol.com, **TanisaFyre**_ - *hides* Sorry this took so long! Won't happen again, definitely! I'll make things right again, but that will be later, though, as I think I've said, there DEFINITELY will be a happy ending. Thank you SO MUCH for reviewing, and hope you like this chapter!!!!!!!,_ Liliku_,_ real bluefalls dark.ness_,_ **queenofgondor21 – **__Thank you for your review, I'm glad you like the story! Hope you like this chapter too!_, _**The Insane Floo Pot**_ – :D It's alright that you didn't like Booboo at first; I was a bit hesitant about its character at first, and I think it's great how you like Booboo now! Part 2 is "Unmistakeably Clear", and yes, it carries on as Chapter 16 in the "Clear" series. It's because it's not really a sequel, so I didn't want to separate it from the rest of the story. Sorry the update took so long…There will be a happy ending, definitely, Hermione dumped Justin before he made a move on Harry, and I will only say that something is brewing in the clouds…Hope you like this chapter!!!,_ **GLow**_ – LOL! You can't keep Booboo just yet…for now, he's still Draco's. Heehee. Thanks for your review, and I really hope you enjoy this chapter too!__,_ Silmarien_, _**throbbing-squirm**_ – Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Sorry this took so long, but hope you liked it anyway!,_ Anita Blake_,_ Klea_,_ **Aurenne**_ – Thank you SO much for your review! Thank you!!!!!!!! Hope you like this chapter, too!,_ Lia Santana_,_ **I Am The Bunny Slayer**_ – I've been hiding for a long time. Heehee. I suspect I'll remain in hiding for a lot longer as well…Thank you very much for your review!__,_ **jeannie81**__ – Booboo kept on saying 'Hee' in a disdainful way, sort of a "Huh" or "yeah, right"…It was meant to be sarcastic and mean, but Booboo can't *be* mean, so all it could say was 'Hee'. Thanks for your review!, **xing@fanfiction.net_ – I'm really glad that I managed to answer any previous questions! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, too! Oh, and I'm SOOOOOOO sorry this came out so late. I really am! Won't happen again! I think the Malfoy family has French roots, mostly since their name has French origins…And I think it was Justin just because he was there, you know? Hmmm…Glad you like Booboo. I agree, the one in AI is a bit creepy. Draco didn't get Marked…details coming soon, and went completely psycho afterwards…I don't think he was asleep exactly, but more as if your mind is in another time frame…or something. Sorry that it's a bit confusing when I skip over parts, but hope you still understand most of it. Something fun is in the making, and thank you very very very much for all your wonderful reviews!_, **TheUnknownJedi** **__– Thank you for your review! I'm going to have a bit more fun with Harry and Draco, but it will be a happy ending, really!!!, **Alura**__ – Thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked that bit – hope you enjoy this chapter too!, **Marie McBride_ – Thank you for your review! Hope you like this chapter!_, ****Ladyblondhair**__ – Thank you for being honest about Booboo, and I'm so so so so so happy that you like this story so much! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and hope you like this chapter too!, **coriander**__ – Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you like Clear, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much!, **elfee**__ – To be honest, I, too, hate cheating!Harry, but for some reason, I just *had* to put it in because…I don't know what possessed me to. Thank you for your review, it really made me look more closely at my characters and compare them against their canon personalities. I suck at computers, and got desperately confused when I went to the site you mentioned…I don't think I'll go into details here, but I think I'll need to ask a friend to walk me through it first…Thank you, though!!! I really don't want Harry to have cheated out of pure hormones, because, like you said, that would make it into a wrong vs. right situation. I think Draco definitely carries some blame, but is unwilling to admit it. Or something. Thank you *very* much for your review, and hope you like this chapter!, **Lotta**__ – Thank you for your review!,** Dracavia – **__Thank you very very much for your review! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

**Once again, I apologise for the delay, and also if I didn't manage to answer a question you had directly because you were put under the "xing@ff.net" name. I don't know what happened – maybe ff.net went crazy again, but somehow your names got lost in the reviews…so, sorry for that too. See you all soon!!!!!!! **


	19. Portrait

_Title:_ Clear - Unmistakeably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 4:_ Portrait

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

It is a fact of life that when it comes to your mind that you _don't want to see a particular person, they then materialise before your very eyes. Such was the case on the Wednesday afternoon during the second week back in school. _

Harry stopped in his tracks, heart caught in his throat. Draco stood not three metres away, Crabbe and Goyle on either side of him, and they faced Harry, who had Ron and Hermione beside him. To the common spectator, it looked as if the trios were standing off against each other. And perhaps they were…

They stood, staring blankly, until Draco took one step forward, after which Harry steeled his nerves and stepped forward as well. It was in this manner that they slowly travelled the distance between them and came face to face. When Draco brushed by without a word, Crabbe and Goyle pushing the Gryffindor Trio aside, Harry's face twisted into a frown and Hermione put a hand to his shoulder, Ron tilting his head in a quizzical look. 

"Harry –" she began, but was cut off by Ron.

"What was _that all about?" he said, and Harry frowned harder, corners of his lips turned distinctly down._

"I don't know," Harry muttered tersely. "But I'm starting to get frustrated with him. I try – I try so hard, and it's like it doesn't even matter to him anymore. It's like _I don't matter to him anymore. Or perhaps I don't."_

"Don't say that…" Ron said uncomfortably.

"But it's true!" Harry exploded, and the two of them could see the anger in his eyes. "I really do try – I _am_ trying to make up for my mistake – and it was only that one time! One time! And I wouldn't have done it if we hadn't been having problems. I'm not blaming him – I really am not, but I don't see why he has to get so caught up about the whole thing! I'm _sorry, and I'm trying so hard to make up for it – and why can't he see that?! Why can't he see that and forgive me? Why can't he just forgive me so I can just go back to loving him? I just want to love him." Harry dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, embarrassed at his outburst, and his glasses clattered to the floor at his feet. Luckily, the rest of the school was still eating their lunch in the Great Hall, and weren't due to be out for another half hour. _

"Harry…Draco was always…difficult," Hermione said, unsure of what to say, as Ron bent down to scoop up the spectacles.

"I just want to love him again, and he just won't let me," was the pitiful whine.

"Harry – you know how stubborn Malfoy is. Maybe he just needs time to cool down?" Ron offered the glasses to Harry, and he took them thankfully, wiping them roughly with his sleeve and putting them on gently. 

"Maybe – but haven't I given him long enough? It's been almost a month since it happened, you know." Harry growled, low in his throat.

Hermione only gave him a troubled look as Ron pinched her elbow lightly in some sort of secret signal.

---

"Draco."

"Hermione."

"I must speak with you."

"Must it be now?" Draco shifted, gaze fixed on the door. They had just finished their Prefect meeting, and he wanted to leave before Hermione could do something like this. Unfortunately…

"Yes."

Draco sighed, and sat down again. 

Hermione watched him carefully for a few seconds, and then spoke. "What on _earth is going on between you and Harry?"_

Draco sighed again, and refused to look at or answer her. 

"Draco," she said in a warning tone. "I don't mean to meddle, but it's gotten to the point where I _can't_ not meddle."

"I know," he mumbled.

"He's getting angry with you."

"Oh?" Draco still wouldn't look at her. "I suppose he has the right to. And I suppose it _is only right to."_

"So you know why?" Hermione lifted a brow.

"Of course I do!" he retorted, rather angrily, but then softened at the motherly look she gave him. "I caused it – of course I do," he repeated.

"Then why? Why won't you forgive him? Do you know what he said to me earlier today – when you brushed by him so carelessly?"

"Yes," was the unexpected answer.

Hermione stopped saying whatever she was going to say next, and just stared, mouth open. 

"I turned the corner, but then I stopped. I had to – I wanted to – I needed to…listen. To know. And…and…I heard – I heard, and." Fuck, he was _not _going to cry in front of a girl! In front of Granger, no less!

"Draco…I understand. Kind of. I understand where you're coming from – if it were me, I'm not so sure I'd even be considering forgiving my boyfriend for…you know."

"Well, there's that. And then there's…something else."

Hermione waited expectantly. 

"I…" Draco stood up and moved several paces away from Hermione's seat, back turned towards her. "He's so much better than me, you know? No one could ever match up to him, but he's so much better than me. This is the most clichéd thing you'll ever, _ever, hear from me, and I'm only saying it once, but…he deserves better. I'm…broken."_

"You are _not!" Hermione said indignantly. "How could you possibly say or think that?"_

"But it's true!" Draco insisted. "He is. And I am. In so much more ways that he knows. I have. My past. And he has his future, and the two just don't _go together."_

"Well how would you know?"

"I just do." He turned and looked deep into Hermione's eyes, neither of them blinking. 

She looked away first, lowering her lashes and leaning over to pick up her book bag, speaking in a soft voice that Draco strained to hear. "Damn you, Draco, for making this so difficult for Harry. And take care – because I'm worried at how much you're hurting." 

And then she left.

And then Draco sat back down in his chair, sideways, facing the wall.

And dipped his head and let the slow, silent tears come once more.

---

"You've been crying again," Goyle said accusingly. Crabbe grunted in agreement, busy polishing off an enormous ham sandwich the size of Booboo. 

"Granger spoke with me just now."

"Ah." There was only one reason why she would speak with Draco only to have him return in tears.

"How're you holding up?" Goyle asked. "And wait – this might make you feel better." He fished Booboo out of his pocket. "I put 'im in here so the other Slytherins wouldn't see."

Draco nodded, looking strangely tired and haggard. "Put my baby back. We're going to my room."

Goyle nodded, tucking a sleeping Booboo back into his pocket, Crabbe standing to brush crumbs off his robes.

They were silent until they were inside Draco's private room, with silencing charms and locking charms on both entrances. 

"Is there something in particular you want to talk about?" Goyle asked, setting Booboo down on Draco's bed and taking a seat on the sofa next to Crabbe.

"No. Just wanted to spend some time with you two." Draco smiled unconvincingly. "How are your households doing? And what of your parents? Are they well? They're to have their trials soon, I hear. It's been all over the press, you know."

"And you've got the fool of a Headmaster," said Goyle. "But yeah. We're doing alright, I guess. Like I said, you know, there was a lot of paperwork. And it's not like my parents were home much anyway, so things got normal pretty quick. It was only at Vince's house that we had problems – the staff were in a mess, thinking they were going to be arrested and all, and we needed quite a long time to get things settled again."

Draco bowed his head, not looking either of them in the eye as he played with Booboo's ears while his bear slept on. "I'm sorry, Greg, Vince. Everything was…it's my entire fault," he said.

Crabbe rolled his eyes and shivered. "Stop that, Draco. It sounds all weird coming from you."

Draco rolled his eyes as well. "Yes, Crabbe."

"And no it wasn't."

"What wasn't?" Goyle asked, lost already.

"His fault."

"For what?"

"Dunno. It."

"It?"

"It."

"_It, it?"_

"It."

"Like, _it, it-it?"  
  
_

"You know. _It."_

"Like _it-it?"_

"Like, it."

"It?"

"It."

"O-oh. _It."_

"Alright," Draco said, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. "I'm getting a headache from all this 'it' crap. I meant what happened at Christmas."

"We knew," Goyle said innocently.

"We did?" Crabbe asked, and only received a jab in his side for a reply.

Draco just leaned back onto his bed and swung his legs carelessly as they hung off the side. They sat in silence for a while, each mulling in their own thoughts. And then Crabbe spoke. "You miss him." 

Silence, and light breathing from Goyle, who sat slightly forward in his seat, turning back to look at Crabbe with an unreadable look. 

"You do," Crabbe continued, voice even, tone steady, carefully blank. "I can hear it in your sighs; I can see it in your smiles. Your tears speak most loudly of all, and they tell me stories of pain and despair. You call me a poet – an artist – and as both, I see the colours of your love for him, brighter than the sun that we hide from, and all encompassing, like the night sky. It is feeding on you in ugly shades of hurt and betrayal, and you are diminishing – much as one would burn when they try to hide the sun deep within themselves. You cannot contain it within, and it will not be contained, for your feelings towards him are too strong for even your will of iron and nerves of steel."

Draco had sat up slowly during Crabbe's short speech, eyes wide.

"I know he loves you still. I can see it in his eyes; I can read it in his glances. His cries echo in your heart, and they scream to you of love and longing. His love could destroy existence as we know it with one word from you. Could you not see how his heart is bleeding great rivers; he is drowning in their merciless waves. He is the ocean, ever giving to you only, and you are the desert, only desiring from him ever." Thus ended Crabbe's monologue.

They stared at him, silence ringing in the room, until Crabbe grunted and sat up. "Want more food," he grumbled, and stalked off to terrorise the house-elves.

Goyle turned to Draco. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

"I thought I was imagining it," said Draco.

"We should have recorded what he said."

"Should have."

"I wonder if he'll remember what he said when he comes back."

"I wonder if he'll remember he spoke at all."

And then the two of them looked at each other, Draco's sad smile a shadow of itself, and Goyle's wide grin as sunny as ever.

---

Potter was miserable. 

There was no doubt about it – he was moping, going around with a constant shadow hanging over him, an unseen weight dragging down his shoulders, an unhappiness that caused his lips to frown.

Crabbe and Goyle shared a Look, before they cornered him below a stone staircase. "Oi, Potter," said Goyle, looking particularly menacing.

Potter's head snapped up, eyes wide with hope that Draco was there with them, but the light dimmed when he saw that there were only two there. "Yes?"

"We need to talk to you." Goyle moved a bit closer, followed by Crabbe, and Potter backed further into the corner. 

"Oh?" he said, trying to hide his nervousness.

"About Draco."

The colour drained from his face, and both of them correctly guessed that he was thinking _oh God they're going to kill me because I've hurt him again and oh my god I'm evil I'm evil I deserve to die for what I've done and now they're here to do it_

"We know what you did to him before we came back," said Goyle.

"So that's what we need to talk about."

"Oh?" Potter said again. 

Goyle sighed. "He's making himself ill again, you know."

"And you're here to say it's my fault?"  
  


Goyle looked puzzled. "No. We're here to ask you to help him."

Potter turned his head away, and Crabbe knew it was to hide the tears. "How am I to help him when he turns me away so?"

"Love him, Potter," Crabbe said, and Potter looked up at those words, a frown burrowing into his brow. 

"How?" he asked again. "How am I to love him?"

Goyle shrugged. "Are you going to tell me you're going to give up?"

"Never!" was the fierce answer. 

"Then what are you doing now?" Crabbe asked, and Potter hung his head once more.

---

"Booboo, what are you doing?"

"Polishing violin, Day-co!" Booboo said happily, rubbing a cloth vigorously against the gleaming wood of Draco's violin.

"Dare I ask why?" Draco raised an eyebrow. 

"Cause Booboo long time no hear!" 

"Oh."

"Booboo miss violin. Is Day-co not play violin because of Pottie?" 

"No," Draco said stubbornly – too stubbornly for it to be anything but a 'yes'. 

"_Pea-s, Moomoo?" Booboo asked, using Draco's pet name._

Draco turned away from his beloved bear and put an arm up to his eyes. "I can't, Booboo," he said, trying to stop the trembling in his voice. "My music isn't mine anymore. He took it away from me; made a part of it his. I can't – not right now, my baby."

Booboo waddled over to the side of the bed and tugged on Draco's robes before crawling up to his shoulder and smoothing back a few strands of hair. "'Tis ookie," it said.

Draco's arm remained over his eyes, and he stretched out his other hand to his shoulder for Booboo to sit on and cradled him tightly to his chest. A splash of something wet and warm, but at the same time cold, landed on top of Booboo's head and made it look up in surprise. Draco was – crying! Its beloved Moomoo was crying!

"Dun cry, Moomoo!" Booboo wailed, clutching at Draco. 

"I'm not crying," he said, voice wobbling, as more tears splashed onto Booboo's fuzzy brown fur. "_Bon __nuit, Booboo," he said, "__Je t'aime." And Booboo instantly stilled, bright dark eyes going blank. He carefully placed his bear onto his pillow, and fished around in his robes for the bottle._

Oh, how he _hurt. But this could make it go away, even momentarily, and that was enough to satisfy Draco as he drank hungrily, the amber rivulets escaping the corners of his lips and trailing down his jaw and neck to spill onto his robes._

Yes, yes, yes, yes, _yes_. Oh, this was his heaven and his hell, his ruin and his saviour, and all he could do was thank the Gods that Booboo was sleeping and that Crabbe and Goyle had already announced their absence for the afternoon. Because no one would walk in on him, and then he wouldn't have to stop anyone from walking out with his little secret.

Because he'd rather die than have it taken away from him. 

To Be Continued!

**Notes: So, yes, sorry for the short chapter. It's a bit waffle-y, I agree, but it needed to be written, I think, because it serves as a link between what happened and the next chapter, which will, hopefully, have a bit more action in it. Heehee. **

**Next chapter: Potions class because "the _world_ happens in Potions"…and not-so-much-fun-for-Draco-and-Harry galore!**

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:** Akemi, **mistykasumi**_ – Thank you for reading! I'll definitely have a happy ending – I live for happy endings! Thank you very very much for your review!, Aurora_,_ **Callisto Firestarter** – __Thank you very very much for your review! I'm glad you like Crabbe and Goyle – and hope you continue reading this story and that you enjoyed this chapter!, **Tsuyuno**_ – Snacks are good, even kindergarten ones. I still have to get the piccie scanned…I haven't been at school for the past two weeks because I've been really ill and completely bedridden, so. Yes. Hehe. Hope this chapter answered a bit about the absence of music for the time being. I'm *so* partial to the piano and violin it's unbelievable. I think it's because if you play it, then you get attached. Thank you very much for your review, and hope you enjoyed this chapter too!!!,_ Playboy Bunny_,_ **chrisseee667**_ – Thank you for your review! Hope you like this chapter!,_ havelock, Mi Su_,_ Anna, Jezebel_,_ Shikala_,_ **crimson nightmare**__ – Your whole review came through this time! :D Biology does strange things to me too. Like, you know. Hehe. I'm so glad you like how I worked their friends into this little story – and I agree…it doesn't really seem probable that their friends (especially Harry's) would just leave him to be with Draco all the time without knowing, you know? Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and I hope that this chapter was good enough, too!, Milady69_,_ Queen Vegeta_,_ **mystic-flower**_ – Hope this chapter came soon enough, and thank you for reviewing!!!!!,_ **Jubilee**__ – LOLOLOL. Yes, you got me to update. And I've been feeling the urge to write more ever since, so thank you! I'm glad you like my interpretation of Crabbe and Goyle. I must have said it before, but I'll say it again…they can't be THAT stupid to be in Slytherin. You have to be sly. And cunning. To a certain extent, hehe. I myself have issues with cheating, so this story is actually very interesting to work with. I hope you like this chapter, and thank you for reading and reviewing!, **S. Wing**__ – Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter, too, and all the angst that's to come :), **Yoink Daydurfurits**__ – LOL. I'll be ending it soon, I think. Maybe. But then methinks it's about time for some Harry-angst, you know? But anyhoo…*goes into hiding* Thank you for reading!!!!, Bunny**-**kuo_, _Amy-la_,_ Cheyseri@aol.com, **TanisaFyre**__ – Harry's a bit…thick. Dense. Very much a guy, LOL! Draco's rather. Depressed, and, like. You know :) Thank you so so much for your review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!! , Liliku_,_ real bluefalls dark.ness_,_ **queenofgondor21**__ – Draco has almost forgiven Harry…but not quite! And then there's always the 'but'…Thank you so much for your review, and hope you like this chapter!!!, **The Insane Floo Pot**_ – I'm so sorry you had to wait for the last chapter! I absolutely promise it won't take so long again! I have the same dilemma as you about Draco and Harry…Thank you for your review, and hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!,_ GLow_,_ Silmarien_, _**throbbing-squirm**__ - *squeals* don't die!! Thank you very much for your review! I absolutely *promise* a happy ending! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!, Anita Blake_,_ Klea_,_ **Aurenne**_ – I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! Thank you very very much for your review, and hope you enjoy this chapter too!,_ **Lia Santana**_ – Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like the angst – and I completely agree…H/D doesn't quite seem complete without just the tiniest bit of angst. Just the tiniest bit, lol. I'm glad you like Booboo, and hope you continue to like this story!,_ **I Am The Bunny Slayer**_ – I'm so happy you like C&G even though you usually don't!! That didn't sound so stupid in my head, LOL! We have Seinfield here, but I don't watch it because I usually go to my tutor's during that time. *hides* Yes, I'm evil. *grins* But it's fun!!! Hope you like this chapter, and thank you very very much for your review!__,_ jeannie81, xing@fanfiction.net (Anonymous reviewers), TheUnknownJedi, Alura, Marie** McBride, Ladyblondhair, ****coriander**__ – Thank you for your review! Happy endings are definitely in the future. Hope you keep reading, thank you again for reviewing!, elfee, Lotta__,** Dracavia**_ – Thank you for your wonderful review! I think I like the same type of stories as you do – angsty, but with happy endings. Makes me into mush, heehee. I'm so so glad that 'Clear' made it to your favourites list, THANK YOU!!!!!,_ **antarianprincess – _Thank you for your review! I agree, I think Harry will have to…prove himself, shall we say? Hehehe. I hope this chapter was to your liking, as was the last. Thank you for reading, and thank you very much for your review!,_ **YG****__ – Thank you for your review! I think the next part will definitely reveal what Draco's been doing to himself. It's not much, but it's bad enough :) Hope you like this chapter!, **Krystal** – _I think that getting together and putting so much trust in Harry was a really big step for Draco, and so the betrayal cut him more deeply than other relationships might have. He'll have to work through his own insecurities and trust issues first. I think. Maybe, hehe. Thank you for your review!,_ **Kitori** – __LOL. I'm glad you like my Crabbe and Goyle. I'll be revealing what Draco's drinking next chapter – I'm working on it already. Thanks for reading!,** Sunday**__ – I'm so glad that you like my story :) Thank you very very much for reading and giving this little fic a chance, and hope you like this chapter, too!, **Anne Phoenix **_– I'm glad you're honest about Booboo, and I've seriously biting my hand in hopes that this chapter is good enough for the readers…Thank you for your review!,_ **frizzy**__ – Thank you so much for your review! Hope you like this chapter!, **Tasha **__– Longer…will work on that…And yes, Draco is actually French. I gather that from his name, and a bit from his looks, heehee. Besides, him speaking French seems pretty sexy, LOL._


	20. Silver

_Title:_ Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 5:_ Silver

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

**Note to anon:** Please! Feel free to use it! I think it's only logical progression of thought that would lead us to the conclusion about homosexuality and the wizarding world. I'm sure a lot of people have used it elsewhere, to explain the dying out of population…

***

They were in Potions when it happened. Always, always _Potions_. _Everything_ happened in Potions. The _world_ happened in Potions. Today, of course, was no exception.

Draco had been especially sour all lesson, but that may have been because he had been paired with Harry, due to an unlucky draw for a partner. The mere expression on his face when he unfolded his piece of paper had been enough to tell Harry who their partners were to be for the lesson. He had refused to budge from his seat, and so Harry had been forced to move next to him. When he refused to even get up from his seat to make the goddamn potion, Harry had been so pissed off that he just snapped, "Fine!" and got to work himself. It was no use complaining anyway – Snape hated him now more than ever before.

He sneaked a look at Draco as he reached for the Baltrose roots. He was hunched over in his sheet, writing shakily onto a piece of parchment. Was it just his imagination, or was Draco looking almost…grey?

It had to be his imagination. Probably just the dim lighting in the dungeon, that's all.

Harry was stirring the potion – exactly five and three quarters times clockwise, but slowly – when he noticed that Draco had stopped taking notes – was he finished? – and so snatched the parchment up with his free hand, examining the writing. "These your notes, Malfoy?"

Draco glared up at him from his seat – still unwilling to move. "Give that back, Potter." The first words he had spoken to him since…the incident.

"No," Harry said petulantly. "You made me make the potion all by myself, so I think I'll just copy your notes, _thank_ you very much."

"Give them _back_, Potter!" Draco reached up and tried to grab them away – but from his seated position, the action was futile.

"I don't think so, Malfoy. You owe me."

"I _owe_ you?! I owe you nothing, Potter, but you definitely owe _me_ for your damned insolence!" With those words, Draco uncoiled and rose from his seat to make another grab for his parchment, but Harry pushed him on the shoulder roughly so that Draco tumbled back and had to steady himself by grabbing the bench.

"Stop that, Malfoy," he said harshly. "It's your own fault you wouldn't help me make the potion. Now I get to copy your notes, and that's that. It's only fair."

When Draco didn't reply, not even turn to give him another glare, Harry frowned. "Did you hear that Malfoy? I get to copy your notes."

Still, no answer.

Harry shrugged as he finished the stirring and laid the wooden spoon beside the bubbling cauldron. He had to wait until it simmered to a golden yellow colour, which would take approximately seven more minutes. Still holding Draco's parchment in his hands, he sat down and picked up his own quill to copy down the notes. The entire Potions classroom seemed muted, now that everyone had stopped working and were waiting for their potion to finish itself.

Draco still stood, hunched over facing him, shaking slightly. 

"Malfoy, what are you doing? Sit down," Harry said exasperatedly. 

There was still no answer from Draco, but the brief silence allowed Harry to hear short erratic breaths coming from Draco. Harry stood again, leaning over to look into Draco's face. "Malfoy, sit down. Look, I'll give you your notes back – no need to be such a baby about it."

Draco was frowning, eyes closed, a small crease between his brows, lips pressed tightly together. His face was a pasty white, with no spots of colour, and was a rather frightening contrast with the blackness of his robes. 

Harry poked him in the shoulder. "Malfoy, you alright? Sit down. I said I'd give your notes back." He poked him again, hard, before grabbing hold of the sleeve and tugging. "Malfoy?" He felt a surge of anger at being ignored. "Fine, be that way." He took Draco's page of notes and shoved them at him – hard –just under his ribs.

Draco stumbled from the push, and his eyes flew open. Harry caught a glimpse of sharp pain in them before Draco doubled over and twisted away from him before throwing up blood all over their bench. 

Hermione, who had been watching their entire encounter with a close eye, screamed. Snape hurried from the back of the classroom – Draco usually sat in the front row – and shouted for silence, for the entire class of Gryffindors and Slytherins alike had begun screaming as Draco continued to vomit out blood. Harry stood, shocked. The blood seemed to flow endlessly, and there was already such a puddle on Draco's side of the bench that the blood now splattered to the floor, some falling onto Harry's shoes and robe as they dripped off the wooden table.

There was nothing but blood, deep, red, glistening blood that Draco choked out, still bent over the bench, arm around his middle, in a devastating sort of pain and torture as he still clutched his parchment in one hand, only now it was completely soaked in redness. Another arm supported him on the bench, and it was needless to say that his hand, sleeve and robes were now covered in blood.

"Potter, what did you _do_?!" Snape roared, confused and angry and even scared, just like the rest of the class, who were still screaming or standing, staring in shock even as Snape shouted for quiet once more.

"I – I didn't do anything, Professor, I swear I didn't!" Harry was frantic now, jolted out from his stupor, and he reached out to Draco, only to have Snape shove his arms away.

"Stay away, Potter," the Professor snarled, as he turned to Draco, who was coughing now. The torrent of blood had subsided, but red droplets still dripped out as he coughed – great hacking coughs that shook his entire frame. "Draco," he said, gently. "Draco, I'm taking you to Madam Pomfrey, alright?"

Draco nodded once, weakly, and he tried to lift his head up, but instead crumpled over and fell into the puddle of his own blood on the floor, curled up, face down, as his blood continued to drip off the table and landed on him – his robes, his face, his hair.

Hermione screamed again, and Snape shouted at her to "shut _up_, you stupid girl!" He knelt by Draco and shook him slightly. "Draco?" he said, softly. "Right then," he mumbled, so quietly that Harry suspected only he heard because he was standing so close to the pair. Snape picked up Draco from the floor so that he was cradled in his arms, arms and legs hanging limply from his still body. If Harry thought Draco looked pale earlier, the whiteness was nothing compared to the deathly pallor that powdered his cheeks at the moment. 

It scared him.

"Everyone, _be QUIET!_" Snape shouted again, and this time it was enough to shock the class into silence, save for some muted whimpers from scared students. "All of you – continue with your work, and hand in what you have before class ends." He then turned to leave, striding out of the room quickly. When he reached the door, he was stopped by Harry.

"Professor, I –"

"Return to your seat, Potter," Snape snarled. "You have caused enough trouble for a day."

Recoiling, Harry nodded, and stood silently to watch Snape carry away his Draco.

---

Snape sighed inwardly as Madam Pomfrey straightened from standing over Draco's still figure on the bed. "Will he be alright?" he asked. He vaguely realised that he was missing his next lesson with the fourth year Hufflepuff-Gryffindor class.

"He lost a lot of blood, Severus."

"I _know_ that already," he said testily. "I was there to see him vomit out enough blood to drain him and flood my classroom."

Madam Pomfrey glared, and Snape shut up, waving at her to continue. "I'm afraid his condition has worsened to the extent that it is out of my area of expertise, Severus. He is stable, but it would be better if I called in a specialist from St. Mungo's. His liver – his liver is so damaged that…" She trailed off, blew her nose with a huge white hanky, and dabbed her eyes before speaking again. "I'm afraid if I do anything, it'll only make it worse. Please, go tell Albus, and I'll contact St. Mungo's straight away."

"Very well." Snape nodded curtly to Madam Pomfrey, and walked quickly out of the hospital wing. 

---

Harry clamped a hand over his mouth as he heard the short exchange between Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey. He had run back to his room after Snape had left, and went to the infirmary hidden under his Invisible Cloak, hoping to obtain news of Draco.

But not news like this.

He could only crouch from his corner, unseen, staring at Draco's still body – _too still!_ – and try to regain his breath again. His heart was beating rapidly – he could feel his temples pounding with each pulse – and he continued to stare until Dumbledore's presence woke him.

"How is he, Severus?" Harry assumed that Dumbledore hadn't spoken to Snape yet, only rushed through the castle to reach the infirmary first. The two men were standing by Draco's bed, but their backs were to Harry and so blocked Draco from view.

"Bad, Headmaster. Poppy is contacting St. Mungo's for a specialist to come now – I fear his condition to be very urgent."

"Dear, dear boy," Dumbledore said quietly, stroking Draco's forehead. "Severus, did Poppy say what exactly was wrong with him? To have made him vomit such amounts of blood, Severus, it simply…" He trailed off, sighing deeply.

"Apparently it is liver damage, Headmaster." 

The two of them were silent for quite a while.

Madam Pomfrey returned. "They're sending someone straight away. Apparated even as I hung up, and should be here soon. I have asked a member of staff to lead them up here." The usually calm, collected matron was wringing her handkerchief, worry written all over her face. Her profile was turned to Harry as she stood at the end of the hospital bed.

"Poppy, have you any idea of what could have caused such severe damage to Draco's liver?"

She frowned as she replied. "Well, Headmaster, I'm not sure how he accomplished it, but such damage…I'm putting my guess on alcohol or drugs, nothing else could possibly have the potential to be so damaging."

"It's alcohol," Snape said bluntly. Both Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey turned to him, surprised and curious. "Draco does not smoke, nor does he do drugs. But he does drink. When I first became aware of the situation, it was a rare occurrence – he would drink wine quite frequently. Wine, you see, is a very common beverage to the Malfoys from a young age – it is as regular to them as pumpkin juice is to the rest of us. It is only natural that he was familiar with the stronger types of drink – I see him drinking so when I used to visit Malfoy Manor during the holidays."

Madam Pomfrey was well glaring at him, and Snape added hastily, "He was often encouraged by Lucius to take stronger drinks." He sniffed somewhat disdainfully. "Wanted to make a man out of the child. A _Malfoy_ man."

"But Severus," Professor Dumbledore said gravely. "For such damage to be done, it had to be regular drinking, a drinking that was constant for many tens of years, and in which the contents are strong enough to effectively burn away his liver. This is beyond alcohol poisoning, as I'm sure you realise."

"With all due respect, sir, the Malfoys are trained to consume strong liquor I assure you, Headmaster, I would never allow for _any_ student to consume alcohol while on the grounds of Hogwarts. If Draco was drinking, then I had no idea of it."

There was a short pause before Dumbledore replied, "You have my complete trust and faith. But Severus – how did Draco get his hands on such _pure_ alcohol?"

"The Malfoy distillery, sir. Their alcohol is so potent that even the most experienced of drinkers only dare sip a teaspoon of the stuff every two to three months for fear of damaging themselves. Draco most likely swallows it by the bottle every night. It not only has amplified effects of hard liquor, but some other ones that are unique to it only."

"Ah yes. I almost forgot. Thank you, Severus." Dumbledore turned from Snape to gaze down at the still boy on the bed. "If I may have some time with Draco alone…?"

Snape nodded. "Yes, Headmaster." 

Madam Pomfrey nodded as well, wiping at her eyes before tucking the extraordinarily large handkerchief back into her pocket. "It will do him good to know you are here, Professor Dumbledore." There was a knocking on the door, and Madam Pomfrey turned to welcome in the specialist from St. Mungo's. "I will give you two minutes, Professor. Mr. Malfoy's condition should be looked at immediately." And with that, she and Snape swept from the room, leaving Dumbledore with Draco.

"Harry," Dumbledore said gently. "You may come out now."

Hesitating – but only slightly, Harry stood and removed the Invisibility Cloak. "Professor Dumbledore," he said, and then stopped, fearing tears.

Dumbledore motioned him over, and Harry moved robotically, limbs stiff with worry. "I heard, Professor," he whispered. "I heard what they said about Draco."

"Harry…did you know Draco was drinking?"

Harry shook his head wildly. "No, sir! He complained often that he had headaches, really, _really bad ones that made him hurt all over, stemming from his head. Even his clothing hurt on his skin, he told me, and not even I could touch him then without giving him pain."_

"Ah," said Dumbledore, and Harry sensed that he knew what had happened to Draco. "Tell me, Harry. When did Draco begin complaining of his headaches?"

"Um. Late November, early December. It was just a little at first, maybe a couple times a week – and they weren't too bad, I thought maybe he had migraine or something. But then by the second week into December they never went away and they seemed to get worse until it was like I told you just now – he hurt all over. Sometimes he was blinded by the pain, unable to move or see or even hear me call to him." Harry found warm, salty tears sliding down his cheeks and rubbed at them roughly, ashamed to be seen crying in front of the Headmaster.  

When he looked up, he found Dumbledore examining some papers that Madam Pomfrey had set out when she had inspected Draco for his internal injuries. "Sir?" he asked uncertainly. "Do you know what happened to Draco?"

Dumbledore smiled at him. "You told me yourself you heard the conversations concerning him. Can you not deduce from the information you have? I believe that, in this situation, you may be the one that is more knowledgeable."  
  


Harry looked back at the figure lying so still on the bed, silent.

---

When Harry returned to Gryffindor tower with red, swollen eyes, Ron and Hermione instantly led him away from inquiring stares and into his Prefect room. 

"Harry…is Draco alright?" Hermione twisted her hands, pale and worried.

"Yeah," put in Ron, frowning.

Harry was quiet for a moment, before sobbing out very, very quietly, "No."

"What's wrong?" Ron put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I – I – he had – _oh!_" Harry covered his face with his hands, trembling.

"Harry?" Hermione whispered, looking rather frightened. 

Harry shook his head, and they could see several lone tears fall through his fingers. "Not right now," he managed to stutter. "Not right now, please."

"Okay. We'll be in Hermione's room if you need us," Ron said, understanding, rubbing his back as Hermione kissed his temple. 

"Oh Harry," she said, smoothing back his hair as he continued pretending not to cry. "It'll be alright soon, really."

Harry just shook his head again, and the two of them left, casting him worried looks before scurrying off to Hermione's room. 

Ron perched on Hermione's desk chair, balancing precariously on two legs as Hermione slumped onto her bed. He blushed as he turned his head to see the top of her thighs barely covered by her school skirt, sticking straight over the side of the bed, left foot white in all its white knee stocking-ed glory, shoe having fallen off. "Um, Hermione," he said, when Hermione kicked her right foot so the other shoe fell to the floor as well, skirt riding just inches too high.

"Eh?" was the muffled reply, stifled under the covers of Hermione's bed.

"Uh. Your. Um." Ron coughed. "Skirt."

A short pause, and then Hermione bounced up into an upright position, tugging her uniform back down to knee length, blush as furious as Ron's. "Oops," she said, still embarrassed. 

They just sat, both staring at the floor, until Ron looked up at Hermione. "Do you think Harry and Malfoy will…?" He left the question hanging. "I mean," he said, blushing again. "They really. You know. Like each other."

Hermione shook her head. "Love, Ron. Love each other." Her eyes went dreamy and unfocused then, and stared at a point above Ron's left shoulder. "Could you possibly imagine, Ron, what it must be like for them? What it is like, to have the one you love so near, having to see them, hear them, _be with them all day, and yet unable to tell them the things you want to, touch them the way you want to…_love_ them the way you want to…?"_

"Yes," said Ron, so quietly that Hermione thought she imagined it. "Hermione?" he said. "Yes. I said yes. I do. Know what it must be like for them. To…to be so near to the one you…you love…but still…unable to do what you want."

Hermione looked at him with a strange, sad little smile. "Oh?" was all she said; mind running through a list of girls that Ron would possibly even _consider loving._

"Uh huh," Ron said, blue eyes seeming to swallow her whole as Hermione blinked. "What about you…Hermione?" he asked, speaking in a quiet voice that sounded familiar and foreign to Hermione's ears at the same time. 

"Me? Mm. You don't ask a girl these things."

"Oh." Ron ducked his head, cheeks stained red.

"But I do. Yes."

"Oh!" Ron looked up at her, eyes wide, surprised. "Really?"

"Yes."

They just gazed at each other until Hermione blinked, and she stood up, turning away from Ron. "Anyway," she said.

"Yeah. Anyway."

---

Draco woke up; it was night time, silver moonlight shining through the sheer curtains to play with the shadows on his face, and Draco immediately closed his eyes upon opening them. 

He hurt. By the Gods, he _hurt_. 

His eyes shifted to his nightstand where a single card stood. From Crabbe and Goyle, most obviously. Draco took a deep breath and tried his best to ignore the pain in his abdomen. After all, it was just pain. He had plenty of it in his life, physical, mental, emotional…

Draco wanted his Booboo. He felt lonely in a way he couldn't remember feeling for a long time, alone in a castle full of sleeping people, the only one awake while others could escape this reality, if only for the night. 

He had to move on. He couldn't _do_ this anymore, couldn't pine over him every night like this, couldn't…

Couldn't love him anymore.

Biting his lip, Draco forced himself into an upright position, pushing the physical pain into the back of his mind so it became noisy background music instead of something he listened and responded to. 

He had no idea what he wanted, or what he wanted to do as he slipped out of bed, hissing at the cold stone floor beneath his bare feet. Staggering, Draco made his way down the room until he came to Madam Pomfrey's desk. 

And there, on top of a pile of shredded bandages, was a large pair of scissors, the silver metal gleaming in the moonlight. Draco sucked in a deep breath then, and reached out for it.

_"Draco…" Harry looked at him from under his dark lashes. His eyes seemed especially luminous that night, with the setting sun hitting it at just the right angle to give them a warm golden green hue. "I love you."_

_"Oh!" Draco said, eyes wide and surprised. "Oh, Harry…"_

Draco grasped the cold tool in his hand, feeling it slowly warm up as the heat travelled to metal from his skin. He took a deep breath, and opened his hand so that the blades came apart with a smooth sliding sound.

_"Draco, Draco, Draco!" Harry planted a kiss just behind Draco's right ear as his arms hugged Draco tightly from behind. _

_Draco reached up to sink his hands into Harry's hair as he turned his head and Harry leaned in closer for a kiss._

No. Must move on. No more.

Everything had been planned so perfectly. Everything had been implemented so perfectly. Everything had turned out so perfectly. Except for one thing – Harry and him. The wizarding world was safe and all the half-bloods and Mudbloods were safe, but Draco and Harry were torn and broken. Irreparable. It hurt when Draco would think about how things would be different if Harry hadn't…but then would the Christmas attack have gone so smoothly then?

No. Must stop thinking about it.

He closed his hand quickly and the blades snapped as they sliced through the air. 

_"Harry…?" Draco's eyes were opened wide and his lips had fallen apart. "Where are you? Harry?" he whispered again._

_And then a hot mouth found his in the darkness as Harry pulled him towards bed, kissing him feverishly._

A tear slid down Draco's white cheek, and he blinked once to free another drop. He took a deep breath and brought the scissors up so that he looked directly at their sharpened edges.

And then he let the breath out and cut off the first lock of hair.

To Be Continued!

**Notes: Eeee! Sorry that this took so long as well. School. Is. HELL. And I got accepted into Boston University!!!! Pre-med. Yay me. :D Oh yeah. LOL. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter – it's my favourite; I don't really know why. I must be the worst person with updates and deadlines and stuff EVER. EEEEEEE. And yes. I'm finally up and about again – after a month of being ill and being away from school. I literally have stacks of work to catch up on, and what do I do every night? Yes. Write. Heehee. You know I love you best anyway :D**

**Next chapter: I love angst. As long as they come with happy endings. I predict a happy ending for Ron and Hermione, and Harry sees Draco.**

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:** Akemi, **mistykasumi****_ – _**_Thank you so so so much for your review!! Something *did* happen to Draco on That Night, which Harry doesn't know about. Heehee. No more crying. At least from Draco. For now, heehee. Hope you liked this chapter!, **Aurora**_ – Thank you so much for your review!!! It was very sweet; thank you again! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!!!!,_ **Callisto**** Firestarter**_ – Hi! Thank you for your review – I had a lot of fun reading it! :D You're so funny!!!!! Heeheehee. Hope you liked this chapter, and thank you again for reading!!!_, **Tsuyuno**__ – I'm glad you still love my story, even though I'm so horrible with updates and angst and stuff, heehee. The bear would probably get kidnapped if any of us laid eyes on it. I certainly would, heehee! This is it! I'm making my dad invest in Booboos. LOL. Won't *that* be interesting?! Yup, and colds definitely suck. Definitely. Thank you so much for reviewing!!!!, Playboy Bunny_,_ chrisseee667_,_ havelock, Mi Su_,_ Anna, Jezebel_,_ Shikala_,_ **crimson nightmare**__ – Not drugs, but close enough!! Wow…your description of Crabbe is…very refreshing. And very accurate, too, because I just read over it and I think it's just really weird where that came from. It was as if our dear Crabbe had been in a trance or something. wow. Heehee. I definitely hope Draco plays again – and maybe he will – soon! But if it's soon, then…probably won't be happy…*hides*…Sweetness will be here…eventually! Promise!!! Really!!!! Sweetness coming *right* up, but just need a touch more angst :p To get things stirred up a bit more than they already are, heehee. Thank you very very much for reviewing, and hope this chapter was more informative than the last!, Milady69_,_ Queen Vegeta_,_ **mystic-flower**__ – More sad!Draco in near future, but I'm glad you like it!!! Thank you very very much for your sweet review; hope you enjoy this chapter!!, **Jubilee**__ – I completely agree with you about Harry. Yes. He's being a prick. But no one can be that perfect. __Alas.__ I was tempted to make him "perfect" and leave Draco with his flaws, but I couldn't do it. I'm a sucker for angst…and you have permission to throw tomatoes. Though I can't promise I won't hide. :p Pit of despair for Harry…coming real soon. Or something like it, at least! I think near the end (after a while longer), Draco will send Booboo home to keep Narcissa company. And I also hope to resolve those issues before the end. Yes. *nods*. Will do. Thank you very very much for your review…hope you liked this chapter too!!!!!, **S. Wing**_ – Thank you very much for your review, and I'm really really glad you liked the last chapter. Hope you liked this one just as much!_, Yoink Daydurfurits, **Bunny****-kuo**_ – Ohohoh, I feel bad that I made you cry, but *do* forgive me for feeling a tiny bit happy because it means that my angst is working…! And it's perfectly alright that you didn't review the earlier chapters! I'm happy that you reviewed, no matter how many times you do because they're all vvv important to me :D Hope you liked this chapter too, and hope you keep reading! Thank you so much for your review!!!!!, _Amy-la_,_ Cheyseri@aol.com, **TanisaFyre**__ – I absolutely PROMISE it'll get better in the end, but not really sure when the end is coming…! Draco is being. Stubborn. And Harry is being. Ignorant. This chapter will probably get Harry off his butt and make him go after Draco again in earnest again. At least, I hope that's what he'll do. Thank you very very very much for reading, and I really hope you like this chapter! Your review was wonderful; thank you!!!, Liliku_,_ real bluefalls dark.ness_,_ **queenofgondor21**__ – Thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad you like Booboo; I modelled it after a teddy bear I have myself :p. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and definitely hope you keep reading!_, _**The Insane Floo Pot**__ - *hands you tissues* I'm sorry! I really am! I like to think that Potter's crying because of guilt, and not because of Justin. And I also like to think that it was a one-off mistake and that he wouldn't have done it again. Like. Ever. *grrr*. Heehee. Or maybe because I'm rather protective of Draco. Bears *nods*. Awesome, yes. I have, literally, almost a thousand. Yes. And YES!!!!! **HAPPY ENDING!!! :D:D:D **I'm also soooo sorry that the chapters are coming out so late – I really think there's something wrong with me and getting off my butt to do things. Like update when I have everything written and sitting there, heehee. Thank you so much for your review, and hope you liked this chapter!, GLow_,_ **Silmarien**_ – I'm hoping that your review meant that you enjoyed Crabbe's little speech to display his romantic and poetic abilities…(is that the right word?) Thank you so so so much for reviewing, and hope this chapter was just as enjoyable to you!, _**throbbing-squirm**__ - *passes few-weeks-late tissue* ee! Don't jump off roof!! I'm glad Booboo made you laugh, even though the chapter was sad and angry and makes you disappointed (what with, may I ask?) Happy ending definitely coming!! Thank you very very much for reading; maybe you'll like this chapter more? Less? Tell me, please!!, **Anita Blake**_ – Eee! Sorry that I took so long putting this chapter up – there were just little discrepancies I had to fix (I started writing this chapter literally months before), and I hope you like the Ron/Hermione little thing in this chapter – put it in when you reminded me! Thank you very very much, I'm so glad you liked the ending of chapter 19, and hope you like this one too!,_ Klea_,_ Aurenne_,_ Lia Santana_,_ I Am The Bunny Slayer_,_ **jeannie81******__– Draco and Harry will DEFINITELY have a happy ending...they'll just have a (really) bumpy road getting there…I'm sorry if you're hurting, but I'm glad you're still reading :D Crabbe and Goyle didn't tell Harry about Draco's alcohol problem, just mentioned that he was making himself ill because the two of them promised Draco never to mention it again. Hope you like this chapter more, and thank you very much for reviewing!!!, xing@fanfiction.net (Anonymous reviewers), TheUnknownJedi, Alura, Marie** McBride, Ladyblondhair, **coriander****__ – Thank you so so so much for your review; I'm so happy you like Booboo!! Hope you liked this chapter, and thank you for reading!, elfee, Lotta_,_** Dracavia, antarianprincess_,_ YG, **Krystal****** _– Sorry if I made it unclear what Draco was drinking, but hope this chapter cleared any confusion up! I was being deliberately vague about it to confuse people, so it's mostly my fault :p  I'm so so so glad you're enjoying the progression of the story as well as the story itself :D Thank you very very much for reading and reviewing, and hope you like this chapter too!,_ ****Kitori**__ – So yes! I cheated a bit, making up a drink of my own. :p LOL. You're right though, it IS about time! I've been alluding to it for way too many chapters now…heehee. I'm really really glad you like Booboo too! Hope you like this chapter just as much and thank you so much for your review!!!!!,** Sunday**__ – Sorry I changed the direction a bit, but I do hope you found it enjoyable just the same! Definite happy ending in sight, though! Definitely!!!!!! I'm so glad you like my kindasmart!CrabbeGoyle…And yes, I completely agree…sometimes bears are just better thank people! :p Oh, you're such a nice person too, writing me such a wonderful review!!! :D Hope you like this chapter too!!!, Anne Phoenix_,_ **frizzy**__ – Thank you for your review! I'm so glad you like Booboo :D I think Part 2 is mostly focused on them getting back together, so this is what this and the future chapters will be about. I think. Yes. Most likely, yes. Thank you very much for reading!!!!!!, Tasha, **demongirl** __– Thank you for your review! I'm so glad that you like my story; your review was so sweet! I really hope you keep reading, and that you enjoyed this chapter and the future chapters as well :D Thanks for reading!,** musegirl18**__ – New reader! I'm so happy you decided to start with this story, and I'm really glad you like it so far. Hope you enjoy this chapter too! Thank you for your review!,** UltraHighDragonFly**__ – Your review was very very sweet; thank you, and hope you keep reading!,** KittenBabyGirl**__ – Hope this chapter told you what Draco was drinking…I made it up, and there are still some details about it that I haven't made clear, but will be mentioned soon, if they are important in the story :D Thank you for your review, hope you like this chapter!,** obsidian**__ – Sorry I took so long to update, especially last time (and this time wasn't all that fast, either) but glad you enjoyed the chapter. Hope you like this one too – thank you so so much for your review!!,** Lottalita**__ – Happy ending definitely…but I'll be having a bit more fun with their angsty sides before I go back to fluffy chapters. Depressed Draco…makes me incredibly depressed, too, but I'm glad you like Booboo, despite the whole situation in the story. Best character. Wow!! Thank you!!! Booboo thanks you too!!!!!! Thank you so much for your review!, **anon**__ – Thank you very much for reading; hope you like this chapter too!!!!!,** Lunadeath**_ – It's perfectly alright that you didn't review because you're enjoying it and reading it anyway! I'm starting to think your French is better than mine, by a lot! I had to think before I could manage to write down those phrases to turn off/on Booboo…! I'm so glad you like the "minor" characters, and…angst is fun…kinda!!! Thank you very much for your review, and hope you continue to enjoy 'Clear'!, _**J-J**__ – Yay! New reader! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, and Booboo, too!,** anon – and very confused**_ – Sorry about the confusion! When I wrote that chapter, I skipped a time frame between that and the chapter before that…so it's as if there's a time gap and Chapter 15 deals with something that happened but wasn't told to you…Hope the later chapters made you less confused, and shed some light on what happened between Justin and Harry. You're not stupid – I was experimenting and should have known that people would get confused. Thank you for reading!!!, _**Gryffindor1**__ – Wow! Thank you very very much for your review! It really touches me how emotional you get when you read this – most of the guys I know are unemotional ********. So. Yes. I'm really happy you like the angst as well – hope you continue to enjoy this story!_


	21. Sever

_Title:_ Clear – Unmistakeably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 6:_ Sever

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

Booboo was waddling through the corridors of Hogwarts, completely and utterly lost. 

"Hey-yo?" it whispered, peeking around a corner before quickly turning it and running down the hall. There was a whisper of fabric, and Booboo found itself running straight into the open hands of Harry Potter, which were lowered to the ground to scoop it up.

"Booboo?" Harry whispered, one hand holding the bear while the other rubbed the fuzzy head. The fur was just…so…_tempting._

"Hay-wee Pottie!" Booboo exclaimed in a loud whisper, looking up at its captor. 

"Booboo, where are you going? What are you doing outside of Draco's room?"

"Booboo need to see Day-co!" 

Harry was silent for a moment before nodding as he squished Booboo's middle. "Then I'll take you there."

It didn't take long for them to reach the hospital wing, especially with Harry's familiarity with Hogwarts, and when they reached the door, Booboo poked him with a soft paw. "Pottie let Booboo go in first."

Harry nodded. "Alright." He opened the door a crack and bent over to set Booboo back onto the ground, barely straightening up before he heard a scream and horrified _"Moomoo!" come from inside._

Heart leaping to his throat, Harry flung the door open and ran in, almost skidding immediately to a stop.

Draco. 

Draco, holding a large silver pair of scissors.

Draco, holding a large silver pair of scissors, locks of long, blonde hair splayed around him on the floor. He was staring down at his hair, opening and shutting the scissors as if in a trance, a rough, jagged fringe shading his expression from view. 

Booboo was at the edge of the circle of hair, stomach on the floor, one paw stretching out gingerly to touch the silver strands in front of its chocolate nose.

"Draco," Harry whispered, as he slid into the room and closed the door silently behind him. Draco didn't appear to have heard him. "Draco," Harry said again, louder, and went up to Draco to touch him lightly on the shoulder. 

Draco's head turned too peer at Harry over his shoulder, eyes wide, scissors held in front of him, open. "Potter," he said, mouth twisting into a bitter grin. "How nice of you to join me."

"What have you done?" he spoke in hushed tones, as if the sound of his voice would disturb the unnatural stillness in the room. 

"What does it look like I've done?" The same manic smile, and the rest of Draco's body turned so that he faced Harry completely. 

"Your hair…"

"My hair."

"Why?"

Draco tilted his head to the side, twisting his features to form a mockingly contemplative look. "Why indeed." His voice lightened and became wistful. "The Ancient Chinese had long hair, too. They didn't cut if off because it represented their life and those of their loved ones and family. The Empress, in particular, couldn't even trim her hair, for it represented the lives of all the subjects in the country. Old pureblood families still hold a similar custom, do you know, Potter?"

Harry shook his head. He was wondering at the relevance of Draco's little speech.

"My father had long hair. All the Malfoys in their portraits had long hair. Purebloods that _matter still hold true to the custom." His wistful smile changed again into something that sent shivers up Harry's spine. "Hair is an important thing, you know, Potter. When one changes their hairstyle dramatically, then it signifies a dramatic change in their life as well – physically, emotionally, spiritually – doesn't matter."_

"So you cut of your hair because. You." Harry gesticulated wildly with his arms. "Your. I. We. Because you." Sometimes he hated Draco's roundabout method of saying something – Harry could never voice out what Draco meant though he understood it.

"Yes." Draco's eyes hardened. "I need to rid my life of you and start over. And I'm starting with me."

Harry didn't realise there were tears in his eyes until he felt a lone drop slide down his cheek. "Why are you doing this?"

"I told you already."

"No." Harry shook his head, hair flying in all directions. "Why are you cutting me out of your life like this?"

Draco's look became tender and his posture relaxed; the hand holding the scissors was dropped so it hung from his side. "Because I feel too much for you. And you hurt me. So I have to do this."

"That doesn't explain anything!" 

"Of course it does. It explains everything." Draco's gaze fell to his hair lying on the floor and to Booboo, who was sprawled on top of a small pile, bawling loudly. The scissors fell to the floor, metal striking loudly against stone, and Draco dropped to his knees, holding his arms out to his bear. "Booboo," he whispered. "Come to your Moomoo." 

And Booboo, clutching a bunch of severed hair, fell into Draco's hands.

Harry knelt too, across from Draco, and he reached out to touch the face before him, but didn't. "Draco. Don't do this. I'm begging you, please, don't."

Draco was silent, dropping kisses to the top of his teddy bear's head.

"Draco, please, please, I don't want to see you doing this to yourself."

"Then stop seeing me. You never had a problem with it before this year."

"That was before I realised I loved you so much." Harry's voice cracked, teardrops making small trails as they rolled down his face. "And even before I realised it, Draco, you were always there, I always saw you. I _saw_ you."

"Do you realise that your words don't mean anything anymore?" Draco stood up and walked to the window, gazing up at the moon outside as he stroked Booboo gently. 

He was broken. Broken and oh, so _beautiful_ that Harry could _feel_ the pain inside of him.

"Words show nothing," Harry said. "But actions do."

"And what of actions that are not borne of the heart but from force of will instead?"

"And how will you differentiate between the two?" Harry retorted.

"You just _know these things, Potter."_

Harry stomped over, and whirled Draco around before pulling him close into a crushing embrace, burying his face into the remains of Draco's shredded locks. "Then just know this," he said, the fury clear in his voice.

Draco pushed at him weakly with one hand, the other still cradling the squashed Booboo trapped in between, but it was to no avail. "Potter." His voice was faint. "Don't." He didn't sound very convincing.

Harry's only response was to hold him even tighter, ignoring the wriggling teddy bear somewhere in the middle of his chest. "No."

"I – I don't…"

"No."

Silence, and even Booboo stopped moving around between them. And then Harry spoke. "I'm not going to give up, Draco. Never. And what happened with Justin wasn't entirely my fault – I was starved for attention that you wouldn't give me."

Draco tried harder to push him away, but Harry's grip on him was too tight. "Then it's _my entire fault!" he growled angrily, fighting to break free. "And let me _go_ and be at peace!"_

"Never! Have you been listening to what I'm saying?!" 

"Of course I have!" huffed Draco.

"You haven't! You heard me, but you haven't been listening to what I've been saying! I'm saying I love you and don't ever plan to let you go, not now not ever and certainly not over anyone else! I can't believe you're letting something like that come between us so!"

Draco stilled, and Harry loosened his grasp enough to look into Draco's eyes, but holding onto his own wrists tightly to keep Draco locked in. "Draco…Draco, have you any idea how much I feel for you? How much I ache inside – literally – because of you? It's all because of you. Haven't you noticed me watching you in class? Haven't you noticed the letters I asked Hedwig to send you? Haven't you noticed that even though you're being a stubborn prat I still love you more than ever?"

"Love…is a fickle thing." 

"Even if it is – why can't you just live for now? I've spent the last seven years of my life being hunted by Voldemort –" Here, Draco winced. "- and I learnt that the most important thing is to live for now. Because I might not get a tomorrow. And now – now the danger is over, and I could finally be with you without any hindrance, and you're not letting us. Why?"

"To protect myself," Draco practically hissed. "True, you live for the moment. I did – do – too. Because since I could remember, I was always waiting for tomorrow to stop coming. And even though the danger is over, and I can't just stop myself from wanting to stay safe. And I also learnt that danger not only comes from the enemy – it comes from everyone and everything. Including love. Do you understand what I'm telling you, Potter? My feelings for you run too deep; they're dangerous to _me_ – they could take away my tomorrow."

And Harry fell silent. "Is this why you never told me that you loved me?" he whispered.

Draco refused to look at him. 

"Is this why?" He spoke louder now, and grit his teeth. "I remember that night, Draco, after dinner, when I sent you the note. You told me you didn't love me. But you never told me you did, so how could you not?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"You know what?" Harry gave a sudden laugh. "I don't know either. I just know that I'm saying I love you and I'll do anything to be with you. I don't care if you don't love me, Draco. I don't care if you do. I just want to be near you. I want to be able to hold you, touch you, kiss you, and love you. Can't you grant me even that?"

Draco lifted his head quickly in disbelief. "You're willing to…to…just like that? Because you love me?" He was silent for a moment, and then pushed madly against Harry's chest with shaking hands, trying to get loose again. "And how many have you loved," he shouted, "and offered yourself to in the same way?!" 

At this, Harry saw red and raised his hand, about to strike Draco before he even knew what he was doing.

Draco stood, chin up, glaring at him through his tears, waiting for the blow to come any second.

Harry tensed and lowered his arm in his sudden clarity, hand going to his forehead instead as he let go of Draco and stumbled off to lean on the wall. "Oh my God…Draco…Draco…"

Draco just stood, watching him as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I don't want this pain anymore, Harry. I want the pain to stop. I want everything to be as it was in the beginning – because then you were mine and there hadn't been any shadows hanging over us. I just want…" He stopped, and was silent. And then, "_Bon __nuit, Booboo. _Je ___t'aime__," and a rustling of fabric that meant Booboo was tucked into Draco's robe. Harry wondered if Draco was going to speak again when he heard a small sound – the sound of metal clicking against stone, and his heart stopped._

Draco.

Scissors.

_Fuck was all his mind could think of as he saw Draco pick up the large scissors from the floor, holding out his other wrist in front of him._

"No! Draco!" He lunged forward, and grabbed the scissors, but the short struggle that ensued only stopped when Draco cried out and –

The entire world stopped when Harry realised that the blade had slashed Draco's upper arm before its tip sunk into the soft flesh. "Draco!" he gasped, eyes wide and tearful. "Oh God, it's all my fault!"

"Harry," Draco said, falling into Harry as the other hand still had hold of the scissors. "It hurts."

"Draco, oh, Draco! You'll be alright, you will you will, it's not in that deep, see? It's only a scratch, only a scratch." Harry was babbling as the two of them slowly fell to the floor, his arms still supporting Draco's weight.

"Gotta…pull it out." Draco gave a hard yank and the scissors, red with his blood, clattered to the floor. Harry dimly registered that they were surrounded by bits of cut off hair, the ones around the scissors now red and clumped together.

"Hold on, love, I'll get Madam Pomfrey for you, she'll help you."

"Harry. Hurts," Draco whimpered, and leaned into Harry, head resting on his shoulder. "Hurts."

"I know baby, I have to get Madam Pomfrey, I can't heal this for you, love – I have to go get her."

"Harry." Draco burst into tears. "Harry, Harry, Harry…"

Harry hugged Draco tightly as he folded up Draco's wide robe sleeve to press against the wound. "Darling, I have to go get Madam Pomfrey. Can you sit here and wait for me? I'll just be a second – I just need to get over to the bed and press the call button, alright?"

"Harry…Harry, Harry, Harry," was all Draco could say, but he bent forward and Harry scrambled up and shot to the side of the bed closest to them.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, where's the goddamn call button? They're supposed to be right here…" Harry found the small white button on the side of the bed and pressed it several times before Draco's whimper made him return to his side. "Draco? Draco, love, it'll be okay. Madam Pomfrey will be here any minute now."

"Harry…" The tears had subsided, but now Draco's face was ghastly pale and his eyes were half-closed. He slumped into Harry limply, and Harry panicked. Draco hadn't lost enough blood for him to be…but why was he…oh _God.._

"Draco…Draco, you can't do this to me! Oh God, _please_ don't…no…"

Just then, Madam Pomfrey rushed in, wearing a robe and nightgown. "What? What happened?" she shouted, eyes wide at the scene before her: Draco with his jagged hair, the severed hair in strewn across the floor, and a red patch on the sleeve of his hospital robe; Harry, holding Draco, trying to keep pressure on the wound as he shook Draco, trying to wake him; and the scissors, on the floor, blades open and dripping slow, viscous drops of blood.

"Madam Pomfrey! He – he wanted to – I tried to stop him, and – oh God, it's all my fault!"

"Calm down, Mr. Potter!" She knelt by Draco and checked his pulse. "Get him into a bed, now," she snapped, and then pulled the curtains closed, pushing Harry out. "Out!" she said. "Wait outside."

---

"Madam Pomfrey, what's wrong with him? I mean…he shouldn't have…unless the scissors were…"

She shook her head. "It wasn't from loss of blood, Mr. Potter. Draco's already in an extremely weakened state, and tonight's excitement just proved a little too much for him." She eyed the mess on the floor. "Do you know the story behind this?" She gestured to the remains of Draco's long hair, scattered out before them.

Harry nodded. "Yes, ma'am. But I got here afterwards, so there was no way I could have stopped him."

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "You do realise that I'll have to punish you for being out of bed after hours?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ten points from Gryffindor," she said. "And I'll have to tell Professor McGonagall."

Harry paled. 

"Don't worry about it. The most you'll get from her is a lecture and a detention. Now, run along now. Mr. Malfoy will be fine here with me."

"Can I…can I see him before I go?"

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Fine. Two minutes." She held open the curtain, and Harry slipped inside.

Draco was still on the bed, like he had been earlier today after the Potions class incident, and Harry felt the familiar ache again. "Oh, Draco," he said, brushing the uneven fringe away from Draco's face. He leaned down to press a kiss to the pale lips. "I love you."

And then he left.

To Be Continued…and the end is in sight! :D

**Notes: I am a horrible, horrible updater. *hangs head*…*starts bawling*…I didn't mean it! I wanted to write this fast, fast, fast, but I just couldn't get it right!!!!!!! And I'm still not sure if this _is_ right because it's so…SHORT!!! *bawls some more***

**Next chapter: The end is near. If not the next chapter, then the chapter after that. Or the chapter after that. But very, _very_ soon. :D**

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:** Akemi, **mistykasumi**_ – eeeeeeee…sooo sorry for making you cry, but it's a good thing because that means the angst is working! Er. Um. Yes. Happy ending is near! I can see it…almost! And definitely fluff next chapter, so we could break out the toothbrushes to prepare for the sap. Thank you for reading and reviewing!, Aurora_,_ **Callisto**** Firestarter**_ – LOL! I'm loving your reviews! So funny! Hope you're feeling better by now…! And ya! You shouldn't be out of bed when you're sick! *hides away because it's middle of the night and is sick and is still writing this*…ahem. So. Yes. Heehee…Oh! You get to go to ___France__!! Oh, oh, oh, you're SO lucky! I've only been several years ago, but it had the most beautiful towns I'd seen and __Paris__ was just wonderful! You'll love it there…but I'll wish you fun anyway! :D Thank you for your review!, **Tsuyuno**__ – The locks aren't over yet. Er. Um. Yeah…you know what I mean, though? Er. Not very coherent right now. Sorry wasn't very romantic about the drinking thing. Cause Malfoys take arsenic, drinking poison would just flat out kill them, wizard or no…Ooh! Website! *goes off to look*…Thank you for your review, and hope you liked this chapter too (it has Boo!)!!!!!!, Playboy Bunny_,_ **chrisseee667**_ – Uh oh…Sorry! I really am! I just can't ever seem to get them out fast enough! Sorry sorry sorry! But hope you liked this chapter anyway, even though it's a bit short. And thank you for your review! :) You've been here since the beginning, and I really want to thank you for your support after so many chapters!,_ havelock, Mi Su_,_ Anna, Jezebel_,_ Shikala_,_ **crimson nightmare**_ – I'm so so so glad you liked the chapter! I was already writing it in the early stages of Part 1, so I'm really really really happy that you like the result of it! Surprises are…good! I think! LOL! Well…pure alcohol…when you get trained for it? I don't know. Draco probably *did* go blind when he first drank it, but that was…I'm not telling! Will tell later! :p! LOL…the Snape and Hermione interaction was funny, haha. Some of my teachers actually do that! Thank you SOOOOOOO much for your review, and hope you found this (short) chapter enjoyable as well!,_ Milady69_,_ Queen Vegeta_,_ **mystic-flower**__ – Speechless is…good? ^-^ Thank you so much! But thank *you* for your review! Hope you like this chapter…and forecast for the next chapter is…fluff. Break out the cotton candy machines, hehehe…^-^…yes, I'm lame. But it's after __4am_ where I am right now, so I'm a bit irrational! :D,_ **Jubilee**_ – The thing with the hair is not over yet! I will be talking about it again! Er, soon! Like. Soon!!!!! ^-^ Hm. I hope this chapter clears why Draco cut off his hair. And the woman in the movie you mentioned…I think that's why she cut it off as well? It's more a symbolic thing than anything else, I think! LOL. I promised Hermione/Ron, so I put it in! But not a lot. Harry/Draco are still the main characters. In fact, the next few chapters will mostly feature them…and Booboo, because, well. Booboo. Hehe…OOO you're applying to BU too! Ooh, do, do! Of course you could pick my brain…er…not in the literal sense! Exams are soon, but I always have time for questions ^-^ …and I completely understand where you're coming from about Lucius. hehehe. I love how he looks in the movie…so deliciously EVIL! Hope you like this chapter, and thank you so much for your review!!!!,_ **S. Wing**_ – Glad to know you're enjoying it…hope you like this one, too! Thank you so much for your review!!!_, Yoink Daydurfurits, **Bunny-kuo**_ – Wow. Thank you for your great review! And no, you're not creepy, not by far!!! Emotional is good! Because stories with emotional themes are supposed to feed on the emotions of the readers, so yes! Thank you!!! *snogs you back*…and yes. Harry could be quite dense sometimes. Hope you like this chapter!, _Amy-la_,_ Cheyseri@aol.com, **TanisaFyre**__ - *is hiding behind laptop*…*wince*…yup. Late again for chapter update. *hides some more*…hope you like, though! Thank you so much for your review! I never really know what to say when people tell me they cried. It's probably the best thing an angst writer could hear (so thank you!) but on the other hand, we've grown up learning that making other people cry is a bad thing…ah well! I'll take it as good! Thank you!!!!!, Liliku_,_ real bluefalls dark.ness_,_ **queenofgondor21**_ – Draco will get better, promise! Absolutely promise! I can't wait to see how it ends either, to tell you the truth…haven't thought it properly yet! Thank you for your review, and hope you keep reading!!__, _**The Insane Floo Pot**_ – I'm *sososososo* sorry it always takes so long for me to update! I don't know why! Eeee…but hope this chapter was good enough ^-^ The fluff is coming next chapter! Absolutely promise!!!!!! *hands you boxes of tissues* - I know these are late, but hope you find them useful anyway! I've decided to let Harry off as well. Otherwise there won't be any H/D fluff…and we can't have that now, can we? ^-^ As for Draco's hair…it's not over yet *low, menacing voice that doesn't work*…muahahahahah…er. Um. Yeah. Thank you so so so so so much for your wonderful review!,_ GLow_,_ **Silmarien**__ – Me, I thought vomiting blood was way disgusting…but way awesome, hehehe…poison is. Well, you know. And alcohol is actually kinda normal, so I had to make it a special Malfoy Liquor. Fun ^-^ Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for reading!!!!_, _**throbbing-squirm**__ – Yay! Thank you so much for your review! I outlined the last chapter when I was still in the early stages of Part 1…so I'm immensely glad to find out that you enjoyed it so much!!!! But…eee…this chapter is short, so sorry! Will do best to make next one longer! And yes! The end is nigh! I just need to work out how to end it. Hope you like this chapter anyway!, Anita Blake_,_ Klea_,_ Aurenne_,_ **Lia**** Santana**_ – Soooooo glad to hear you enjoyed the last chapter, and hope you enjoy this one too! The hair cutting thing…hope I cleared it up here, because it's more of a symbolic thing than anything else…Um…*blush*…pills? Er. Um. *blush*…It was alcohol…Oh, and Hermione? Definitely book-smart. I don't think she has much street-sense at all, otherwise she wouldn't have been friendless in the first book where Ron was making fun of her behind her back. Ooh, happy you liked poetic!Crabbe as well…and thank you for your review!!!!!,_ I Am The Bunny Slayer_,_ jeannie81, xing@fanfiction.net (Anonymous reviewers), TheUnknownJedi, Alura, Marie** McBride, Ladyblondhair, **coriander****__ – I did too, but then killing yourself is immensely…predictable! I feel the same way about books and fiction. Maybe that's why I *have* to have happy endings…I can't stand it when fiction mirrors real life so well that there's a sad ending. *sobs* Thank you SOSOSOSO much for your review!!!, elfee, Lotta__,** Dracavia**__ – Oh, thank you so much for your review! I love how you summarised Harry so well! ^-^ But sorry that I took so long until the next chapter…I don't mean to, really!! But hope you enjoy this chapter anyway! :D, antarianprincess__, YG, Krystal, **Kitori**__ – *hangs head*…I know…took me long enough…but maybe you like this chapter enough not to throw tomatoes at me? I try not to end on cliff-hangers…but suspense is a good thing as well! Because if I was the reader of the last chapter, I would have smashed my computer if the last few lines had been omitted…hehehe…Thank you for your review!!!!!!,** Sunday**__ – Thank you! And of course you'll get into uni! Harry could be really dumb, I think…*such* a guy sometimes, but not to say that Draco's a girl…just that he's more…insightful? To be honest, I don't really want the story to end yet, either, but if I give them any more angst, it'll start turning into a soap opera…and I could see the end coming. *sigh*. My baby, and it's almost grown up. *sniff*. Heehee. So, yes, completely understand with you for feeling this way. Thank you for your review!!!, Anne Phoenix__, frizzy, Tasha, demongirl__, musegirl18__, UltraHighDragonFly__, KittenBabyGirl__,** obsidian**__ - …so that's why Draco cut off his hair…if you don't get it, tell me! :D Thank you so much for your review…hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!,** Lottalita**_ – Not too short! Just…jagged. LOL. It's ok! Keep offering suggestions, and I'll do my best to make the ending perfect! Thank you very very much for your review, and hope you like this chapter (with Boo in it)!!!!!, _**Lunadeath**__, **J-J**__, **Gryffindor1**, **Nix**__ – I'm so sorry that you had to wait so long – but I hope you found the wait worthwhile with my meagre offering that is this chapter…hope you enjoy this chapter, and the ones to come!, **MOI**__ – Thank you so much for your review! Perhaps this chapter helped explain why Draco cut off his hair? It's a very precious thing…long hair…because it takes time to grow, and it's almost like a body part…Um. Not exactly, but I hop you get what I mean. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!, **PEACHDANCER82**__ – Hi! Thanks for your review. And now for the answers to your questions. Firstly, if you wear the ring on your right pinkie, it means you're attached to someone of the same sex. Draco wears it on his neck partly to show that he is bisexual (or gay) and partly to symbolise his attachment to Harry, which was kept a secret at first, but had to remain so even after they got together, mostly because they were almost the representatives of their enemy houses. Secondly, Narcissa wasn't captured because she was working as a spy, like Snape was; she was an informant to the Order, and so escaped capture. Hope that answered your queries, and thank you very much for your review! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!, **Phoenix Tears**__ – Thank you so much for your wonderful review! Hope this chapter cleared the significance of Draco's hair-cutting. And yes! Booboo! Heehee. It was strange, because I had the first 20 lines or so typed up right after I posted the last chapter, and then I saw your review and was all "dude…she read my mind!" LOL! You rock! Great minds think alike, heh…Thank you again!, **SparkySparkles_ – Thank you for your review! Romance is up next, so Harry and Draco can rest a bit there, and bask in each other's company ^-^. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_, **Lilyria****** Ali_ – Hi!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for your reviews! Just…thank you so much! And yes…definitely happy ending. Definite! Hope you like this chapter too! :D_, **blackunicorn** **__– Sorry this took so long to come out, but thank you very very much for your review, and hope you enjoy the story!, **BurningSilence_ – Draco's okay! Er…I think! Heeheehee…more angsty stuff would be fun…Heeheehee!! And thank you so much for your review, I love new readers! :D Hope you like this (shorter) chapter too!_, **Jennifer01****__ – Thank you for your review! More coming, just maybe not as soon as I always anticipate it to be…! Hehehe…jealous!Ron is a funny thing, because it seems to be a rather…big part of his character, no? Hm…!,** Epitome of Narcissism _– Ooh, thank you so so so much for your review! Crying is a good thing when it's an angst fic! And definitely happy ending. Definite, I swear Booboo on it that it is! School has been closed because of the SARS thing in _**__Hong Kong__, but even more work to do now. Ick. Hope you like this chapter!,** Celtic Flame **__– Thank you so so so much! I'm actually really honoured that I made you cry with the angst…sounds strange, but crying at angst is a good thing…I think! Oh, and I'll have a happy ending, so Harry and Draco will get together…eventually! And thank you, BU was my first choice! :D Ooh, and another thank you for putting me on your favourites list! Thank you so much!, **Lady Malfoy**_ – ^-^ I like how the cutting hair was so unpredictable! It's also kinda symbolic, and probably would do more damage than a suicide attempt. I think. Um. Because. Like. Er. Yeah. ^-^ And thank you for your wonderful compliments! There will definitely be a happy ending…meanwhile, hope you enjoyed this chapter!, _**Mrs. Souma Akito_ – Hehehe…hopefully, you've read up to this chapter…and hopefully, you've enjoyed it so far…and hopefully…you enjoyed this latest one, too! Thank you for your review!_**_


	22. Moonlight

_Title:_ Clear – Unmistakably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 7:_ Moonlight

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

**Notes: ***sigh* This is getting harder and harder to write as I reach the end. This is it. The penultimate chapter. No excuses for the lateness; love you all for reading and reviewing. Wish me luck on my A-Levels – believe me, I need it so badly it's not even funny. Woo. I'm having my exams the same time my characters are. This is just too weird. Am I rambling? Revision can do that to you. Detrimental to health, I tell you. *sigh*. Anyway! Extra long chapter for you!!!! :D

**Thank you to Lilyria Ali, who beta-ed at very short notice. You did a wonderful job, thank you!**

**Happy Very Belated Birthday to Tsuyuno! **So sorry for the lateness! Maybe extra long chapter will make up for it?****

**Oh, and "The Insane Floo Pot"? **Thank you! I think I needed a boost to finish. I'm always like that, aren't I? Terrible person I am, truly! (more at the bottom)…!

**To Everyone: Please, please read the extra notes after this chapter.** It does explain a bit about Draco and Harry and why they are how they are. It isn't only in response to a particular Anonymous review (which I thank you for), but also to the readers in general so I hope you understand where the characters are coming from. :) Thank you!

***

_Hajimari sae_

_Ushinawareta_

_Owaranai geemu wo shiyou_

_(Even when it began_

_It was lost_

_This game doesn't seem to end – will it?)_

---

Draco woke up to see Madam Pomfrey hovering worriedly over him. 

"You'll be alright, dear," she said, patting his hand comfortingly. "You just need a bit more rest. You lost quite a bit of blood yesterday, what with your escapades in Potions and last night." She waved her wand in a circle around his shoulder. "Just a few routine checks. Now, let's see. The wound on your arm should heal completely by dinnertime, and the scar should be gone in a couple more weeks." She smoothed down his bedcovers and turned to go. "There's someone to see you. Try not to excite yourself again, Mr. Malfoy. I have no reason to doubt that last night's events were caused by lack of blood and too much excitement on your part."

"Who is it?" Draco asked, curiosity now piqued.

Madam Pomfrey just smiled as she lifted a side of the curtain to leave. "I'll send them in right now. But only for a few minutes, mind you."

Draco sighed and glanced around himself. He was surrounded on all three sides by heavy white curtains, designed specifically to prevent anyone from spying on the patient inside. He sighed again, and closed his eyes.

"Draco."

Draco's eyes shot open. "Harry." He struggled to sit up, but his head gave a painful throb and he almost blacked out at the wave of dizziness that washed over him and consumed his vision.

Harry's arm found its way around him immediately as he perched hastily on the side of the bed. "No, Draco. Don't sit up, you'll make it worse."

"Harry…?" Draco's eyes were wide as he was slowly lowered to lie down again.

"Mhm. I came to see you." Harry smiled gently, softly.

"Oh." A pause, and then Draco's cheeks almost coloured when he asked, "Was I much…out of control last night?"

Harry shifted so he could face Draco properly, and smoothed away an errant strand of hair. "Not at all." 

Draco sighed and closed his eyes. "Okay." His lips and cheeks were still devastatingly pale, and so Harry just continued brushing Draco's temple with his fingertips, so lightly that Draco thought it was just a figment of his imagination.

They stayed in their positions, feeling strangely content.

"Harry?"

"Yes, Draco?"

"Just wondering if you're still here."

Harry smiled, even though Draco's eyes were still closed. "Of course I am, love."

"Okay."

Draco's breathing was still shallow – too shallow – and the paleness of his skin remained so, and so Harry sat with a worried smile on his face, moving his hand to cup Draco's cold cheek and to run the callused pad of his thumb over Draco's soft, soft skin.  

_Everybody needs a little time away_

_I heard her say_

_From each other_

_Even lovers need a holiday_

_Far away_

_From each other_

"Harry?"

"Yes, Draco?"

"I think…I think we need to talk."

Harry's hand stilled and Draco opened his eyes. "What, now? Why not later? Maybe you should just rest instead."

"Now's a good time as any. And I don't have the energy to throw a tantrum and storm out."

Harry's smile was forced. "Yes, well." He shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Us," Draco said simply.

"Us," repeated Harry dully. He coughed nervously, staring at the bit of Draco's collarbone that was partially covered by the hospital robe and bed sheet.

"Yes. Harry. Harry, you know that – you know how I am. You know that this whole showing emotions thing never was easy for me. I'm not – I've never been – open. Or. And you were – are – the first."

"I know that, Draco. That, and more. You don't have to tell me again, I know." Harry couldn't stop himself from touching Draco, and resumed stroking Draco's cheek.

Draco closed his eyes. "I still think that. It might be best if we aren't. If we don't. If we give ourselves more time to be apart."

Harry snatched his hand back. "Why?" He was extremely aware of the way his voice had wobbled and climbed several octaves, but Draco didn't appear to have noticed; if he had, he ignored it.

"I lo – I love – I…" Draco just couldn't speak the words. "It's just that – I can't – I'm – I'm still trying to forgive you." He blinked up at Harry, some deep emotion in his eyes that Harry didn't have the mind to fathom.

"Why can't you try it while we're together? It's as if you don't want to forgive me."

"I do. Which is why I need some time away from you. Having you around – it makes me remember when I saw you and…"

"Draco. If using the time-turner wasn't illegal, I'd use it. I would've worked with him somewhere public, somewhere where he wouldn't have – have, and then I wouldn't have…"

"Even if you could change that, Harry, could you have changed the way I was treating you then? Or the way you were acting then? Could you have changed Voldemort, Harry?" Draco sighed. "Sometimes, things are. And we have to accept them and deal with it."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Exactly what I just said. We still need some time apart. More time. I'm not saying that we. It's just." Draco sighed again and reached up to touch Harry's cheek with the tips of his fingers. "Perhaps after a while, I'll be able to be with you without thinking of you with someone else."

Harry shook his head. "I can't. I can't accept that."

Draco was silent.

"I love you, Draco. Love you so much. I know you're still looking to forgive me, but. And I know that you must love me because otherwise you wouldn't even bother."

"Harry…goodbye isn't forever." Draco didn't know what to say.

"I know, but it doesn't make it any less hard."

"I have…baggage, Harry. I need to rid myself of them first."

"Why can't you let me help you do that?"

"It's something I have to do myself."

"Then why can't you let me be there for you then?"

"Because I'll never be able to do it if you are there reminding me. Harry, last night…" Draco's hand reached up to touch his bandage lightly. "Last night when I – I was thinking of you then. I needed _that much_ to be away from you."

"Do you hate me that much? Or do you find me so repulsive that you have to resort to such measures?"

Draco looked away, burying himself deeper into the blankets, refusing to answer. Harry's touch followed him, however, unwilling to let go, disappearing under warm covers. 

Harry bent down, pulling the blankets back as he tried to look at Draco in the eye, but failing as Draco squirmed and hid his face from him. "Draco," he said, stroking Draco's hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head, "I didn't mean that."

"You did, you did."

"Draco. Draco, I didn't."

"Do you know how much you've taken from me, Harry? Granted, it was my own fault that I was weak enough for you to take anything from me at all, but you did, and I need to find these pieces of myself again." Draco's words were tinged with bitterness, and Harry felt a desperate sort of ache in his throat. He reached out, needing to touch Draco, to make contact with him somehow. Anyhow. 

"Tell me. Please, tell me. I'll give you all of me until you find yourself. Please, Draco."

Draco tried to push Harry's hands away but Harry was firm, determined, and Draco in his weakened state couldn't spare any energy to do anything other than rest his icy hands, so thin and pale they looked transparent, on top of Harry's large tan _warm ones and sigh. Just at that moment, Harry suddenly felt very afraid – afraid that he would lose Draco – Draco, who was the very personification of moonlight and looked fully capable of just disappearing when the sun would finally peek over the horizon. _

"I've lost my music, Harry, and there is nothing that can take its place until I find it again."

Harry was puzzled. "Your music?" he repeated dumbly.

"Yes. And I've decided, Harry. I'm going to go away. To get well."

"Where are you going?"

"Where my music waits."

"Will you stop speaking in riddles?" Harry stood up, angry because he couldn't get through to Draco, but Draco just blinked up at him impassively.

"I want to sleep now." And he closed his eyes. 

Harry immediately sat back down. "Sorry, Draco. I'm sorry. Really."

"Sleeping now."

Harry sighed. "Could I at least…?"

Draco was silent. And still. And so Harry leaned over and placed his lips gently on Draco's, not liking how cold they were against his. 

A muffled gasp, and Harry sprung back, eyes wide, arms flailing, and met the shocked gaze of Madam Pomfrey. "Uh," Harry croaked. "Madam Pomfrey...I was just, uh. Just."

Madam Pomfrey was blushing bright red as she turned around to leave. "Your time is up, Mr. Potter," she sniffed. "I've already given you over twenty minutes."

Harry looked down at Draco and found him watching him with expressionless silver eyes that glinted in the light. "I'll come back and see you later."

"If you must." Draco closed his eyes again.

Harry hurried out, blushing as he met the enquiring gaze of the school nurse. "Um. I'll see you later, Madam Pomfrey. Thank you for letting me see Draco."

"You're welcome, Mr. Potter," she said, and turned around to continue with her work.

---

_I'll give you everything I am  
And everything I want to be  
I'll put it in your hands  
If you could open up to me, oh  
Can't we ever get beyond this wall_

---

Dumbledore looked at the letter in his hands. It was an urgent owl that had arrived late in the evening, and Dumbledore didn't really know what to make of it. 

He looked over it again, and sighed. 

Dumbledore pressed a button on his desk. "Severus, could you come to my office, please?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

Ten minutes later, Snape stood before Dumbledore, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Look at this, Severus." Dumbledore passed him the parchment. "What do you think of this?"

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_          I am writing to you concerning my son Draco's physical_

_well-being. As his sole guardian and parent, I have decided to _

_remove Draco from school to receive specialised medical _

_attention until he is well enough to return. He will of course be _

_taking his NEWTs in June, and I have prepared for tutors to _

_ensure that his academic progress will not be hindered in any_

_way during his absence from school._

_          I hope you will accept my apologies in saying that there_

_can be no discussion as to the arrangement. _

_          I will arrive tomorrow after sunset. Please arrange for _

_Draco's belongings to be ready for his departure then._

_Thank you._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Narcissa Malfoy_

"Well, sir," Snape began, as he scanned over the letter once more. "I believe Draco wrote to Narcissa requesting his own withdrawal. There can be no question to that. Narcissa wouldn't do such a thing without Draco's consent, and why she would have such an idea in the first place….well."

"I agree, Severus. And as you read, there is no room for argument or discussion. But you as Draco's godfather may be of some influence, and so I wish to know your opinion."

Snape was silent for a moment. "I believe," he said slowly, raising his eyes to meet the Headmaster's, "that it would be a good idea for Draco to leave."

---

Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor common room when Seamus and Dean burst in, shouting "Malfoy's leaving!"

"What?"

"His mother's here! She's just arrived and the house elves are packing Malfoy's stuff into a carriage and she's going to Dumbledore and Malfoy's leaving for real!" Seamus said, turning to Harry, grinning.

"Now?" he said dumbly. 

"Yeah!" And the two of them ran off to tell more people. "We have to celebrate!" filtered back to Harry's ears.

Hermione turned wide, shocked eyes to him. "Harry…"

"I knew he was leaving," Harry whispered. "But I didn't know it would be so soon."

"You what?" 

"I have to see him." 

"Harry, wait!" Hermione called after him, but Harry was already gone.

---

"I repeat. I _refuse to be levitated out." Draco crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. _

Narcissa smiled indulgently. "Of course, darling. I'm _completely_ against the idea as well, since you are."

"Mrs. Malfoy," Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Please, work with me here." She spoke slowly, as if to a child. "Draco is not well enough to walk on his own, and no, you are not strong enough to support a seventeen year old boy. The best possible solution is to levitate him out."

"No." Draco pouted.

Narcissa turned her smile to Madam Pomfrey as she stroked Draco's hair softly, lovingly, her perfectly manicured nails gliding over messy strands of silvery hair. "If there is any other way in which Draco could be moved out into the carriage?"

"No," she said curtly. "I can levitate him on a bed or in a chair if he refuses to be levitated on his own."

"Could perhaps Severus or Albus be of help, instead?"

Madam Pomfrey sniffed. "We have rules, Mrs. Malfoy. Teachers are not allowed to have any physical contact with any of the students. I am the exception. The _only exception. And I, like you, am not strong enough to carry a full grown boy out to the carriage. Hence, the levitation."_

"Well." Narcissa's smile disappeared and her eyes glinted dangerously. "You will just have to devise another method, will you not? I am sure the school board would love to know that Draco almost died under your care, and I find it impossible under such circumstances to entrust Draco to you in any shape or form, for this or anything else." Her words held a definite finality to them, and though Narcissa was just shorter than the nurse, she seemed to tower over her. "My son will not be levitated, Madam Pomfrey. See to it that he is moved to the carriages using an alternative means."

Madam Pomfrey's lips pinched and her gaze turned hostile, but Draco didn't want to be levitated and so Narcissa didn't really care about the nurse's opinion.

All that mattered was what her baby wanted.

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat, and Madam Pomfrey and Narcissa broke their stare to see Crabbe and Goyle shuffling their feet awkwardly.

"Um," said Crabbe.

"We, uh," said Goyle.

"Came to, you know," coughed Crabbe.

"See Draco off," finished Goyle.

Madam Pomfrey glared at them, and then turned back to Narcissa. "Well then, you have your solution. One of them will carry Draco down to the carriage. No levitation. Good enough for you, Mrs. Malfoy?"

Narcissa smiled at Draco. "Darling, is that alright?"

Draco sighed, as if greatly aggravated. "If I must."

"We _do need to make the eight p.m. portkey, darling."_

"Very well then." And Draco sighed again.

Crabbe and Goyle nudged each other, smirking furtively behind Madam Pomfrey's back.

---

_Hold me now_

_It's hard for me to say I'm sorry_

_I just want you to stay_

_And after all that you've been through_

_I will make it up to you_

_I promise you_

_And after all that's been said and done_

_You're just a part of me I can't let go_

---

The wind was blowing hard, and the clouds in the darkening sky forecasted a heavy storm. Harry's robes whipped around his figure as he ran out to the front of the school. Narcissa was there with Draco, who was being carried along by Goyle, with Crabbe trailing just behind them, staring at the ground. Dumbledore and Snape stood with them, talking quietly with Narcissa. 

Harry almost fell over his own feet when he ran closer – Draco was horrendously pale, wrapped tightly in a light summer cloak, the hood pulled over his head. His heart gave a hard thump of worry, giving him a short burst of acceleration.

"Draco!" Harry called, coming to a stop, panting. 

Narcissa moved in front of Draco, trying to shield him from Harry. "Yes, Mr. Potter?" 

Harry ignored her, eyes fixed on Draco's, which were in turn looking at a point to his right. "Are you really going?" he asked.

"Potter," Crabbe grunted. "What're you doing here?" He, too, moved between Draco and Harry, but shot Goyle a look that Harry instantly picked up on. Those two had known he was going to come. 

Draco didn't answer Harry's question, and Narcissa rolled her eyes disdainfully.

"Where are you going? How long? When will you be back? _Will_ you be coming back?" Harry moved closer and closer with each question, and Draco dug his nails into Goyle's shoulder so that they stepped back, away from Harry. 

Dumbledore laid a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Now, now, Harry. Draco is leaving to get better, and once he is, he will return. Do not worry."

Harry gave Dumbledore a mournful look. "Professor…"

"We must take leave now, Headmaster," Narcissa said, ignoring Harry. 

Dumbledore smiled. "Farewell, Narcissa. I hope we may meet soon again. Take care, Draco," he said, leaning sideways so he could nod and smile at him. 

Snape just stood, silent.

"Sir, are you really letting him leave?" Harry gave Dumbledore a plaintive look. "Mrs. Malfoy, are you really taking Draco away?"

Narcissa's mouth pinched. "I am not taking my son _away _from anything. Watch your words, Mr. Potter." She gave a curt nod to Goyle, who carefully set Draco into the carriage as Crabbe rearranged Draco's cloak around him. She climbed in herself, and the door snapped shut on its own.

Harry all but tore into the carriage to try and see Draco. "Draco!" he called. "Please, don't go!"

"Potter." Snape's firm hand appeared on Harry's shoulder, forcing him away from the carriage. "Don't make a spectacle of yourself. Anything you do or say will not make him stay."

Harry shrugged Snape's hand off angrily. "And how would _you_ know?"

Snape gave him a long, cool look. "I have known the boy since he was born, Potter. I can predict virtually everything he will say or do. Of course," he said, turning up his nose and looking away, "you were the exception. As always." Harry wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to have heard the last part or not.

"Now, now," said Dumbledore, smiling benignly at the two of them. "Let us go to the Great Hall for some dinner." His smile grew as his gaze fell upon Crabbe and Goyle, who watched the carriage leave mournfully. "Come now, Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle. Dinner awaits us."

Crabbe nudged Goyle and the two of them appeared on either side of Harry as the strange group made their way back into the school. "We thought you might want to know about Draco," Goyle said, out of the blue.

"He's gone," Harry retorted flatly. "He left me. What else is there to know?"

"Oh, I dunno," Goyle said, looking at his feet. "Maybe where he is. How long he'll be away."

Harry stopped and stared. "You know?" He felt breathless, another rush of adrenaline.

Goyle nodded. "He's in the Malfoy summer cottage. Mansion, really, but." He rolled his eyes and Crabbe gave a grunt – was it a laugh? Harry really didn't know.

"Where?"

"France." Goyle screwed up his face. "I could find you an address. But unless you're going for a visit." He shrugged and let the sentence drop. "You wouldn't want to do that either. I mean."

"Yeah," Harry said, miserable. "He'd probably stay mad at me forever."

Crabbe shrugged and Goyle nodded in agreement. "But that's Draco for you."

"When will he be back, then?" 

"Dunno. Long time. He said that the earliest will be Easter. The latest – well."

"Easter?!" Harry repeated, eyes wide with shock. _No, oh Gods, please, no._ _He can't_. It was just the beginning of February, and their Easter break would come in late April this year. 

Two months. Two months away from Draco, not even able to catch glimpses of him in class, at meals, around school…

"Potter? Oi, you there? Are you alright? Vince, what's wrong with him?" Goyle waved a hand in front of Harry's face, but he didn't respond. He could only stare blankly as his mind whirled aimlessly.

Harry wanted to die. Or maybe just sit down and have a good cry. Or perhaps run away from school and find Draco. But then he squared his shoulders and lifted his head. He was _Harry Potter_ – and there was nothing he couldn't do.

Even if he cried the whole way through, nothing more than a lost boy waiting for his love to come back to him.

***

**

*

**

***

_Uragiru tame ni umaretekita_

_Kuchibiru wo togisumase_

_Muimu na rikutsu ni mata muragaru_

_Orokashisa ni predilection_

_(I was only born to betray_

_My lips, in the end, feel sharp_

_You're lost in a cloud of meaningless reason_

_In your foolish predilection)_

---

Draco was sitting in the back veranda, overlooking the extensive Malfoy estate in southern France, deep in the countryside. 

A servant came out, nodding respectfully to him before presenting a silver tray with several envelopes. "_Mon seigneur, vous courier avoir arriver_."

Draco took them, and waved a careless hand. "_Vous pouvez partir_." The servant bowed and promptly disappeared. Draco held up an envelope. Crabbe and Goyle – their handwriting was unmistakable. One from Harry – Draco quickly put it behind the others. Harry had written him a letter each day since he arrived. Draco hadn't read any yet – he was afraid that he will weaken and return too soon to Hogwarts. And so the letters lay, tied up in a bundle, carefully stacked inside his dresser drawer. All fifty seven of them. And now, with this one, fifty eight. 

The last letter was from…Granger? 

Curious.

He carefully broke the seal and scanned the contents, expression carefully neutral though his heart beat with a strengthening intensity as he read on.

_…must return soon, Draco, please, I beg of you…_

Too soon, still. And yet, not soon enough.

_…grief, all consuming, never ending grief, and…_

No. Not Harry. Not _my_ Harry. Can't be.

_…worry, worry endlessly for you, for him…_

Save it for Harry, soothe him for me while I am away.

_…know you are strong, Draco, so be strong for him and return…_

No. I am weak. Too weak. I can't do it.

_…be strong, as it is he now who is weak…_

I am not strong enough for me, how can I be strong enough for both of us?

_…implore one last time – come home, Draco…_

No. Not yet. Too soon. 

And Draco put the letter down, leaning his head back in his chair, closing his eyes to hide the tears. 

_Soon. _

---

_Can't get enough kanashige na kao kara_

_Don't let me down itami sae fukuetara_

_One more night junsui na ai dake_

_Tookunai mirai kanaeru sa_

_(Can't get enough of your heavy heart or face_

_Don't let me down, I'll wipe you clean of the pain_

_One more night of true love_

_Will you ever be mine?)_

---

There was nothing wrong with Harry. At least, nothing appeared to be.

It appeared to Ron, at least, that everything was as it should be.

Harry  ate as normal – even the same quantities as always: two eggs and half a bowl of porridge at breakfast, a sandwich and a handful of crisps at lunch, chocolates after classes, and a plate and half of dinner. 

He worked as normal, always waiting just a little too late before doing his homework, always needing to repeat Transfiguration exercises four times to get it right, always needing to do a charm twice before it worked.

He played as normal – chess in the evening with Ron, brow furrowed, hair glistening from the light of the fire, and ultimately losing with a laugh and careless shrug; Quidditch practice, always aggressive, always ready, quick, unbeatable. 

But he didn't smile as normal. Hermione knew – her own smile would dim when his appeared, and the slightest of worried frowns would appear on her brow. Harry's eyes fell dully on bright, happy sights, and laughter fell to deaf ears – how could he hear them, when his heart closed itself to all voices but the one who had left him? How could he see any happiness around him when his one happiness was gone, taking with it the light that brought vision to his eyes?

He went to bed as normal, though how well he slept, no one knew. 

In truth, his dreams were plagued with nightmares.

He lived his infidelity over and over again, always ending the same way – Draco's mercuric eyes, cracking from the reflection of tears before he spun and ran off, footsteps echoing in Harry's mind, mocking, blaming, taunting.

He would see that night in the infirmary, except this time, Draco would have succeeded in slashing his wrists and he would always reach him a moment too late. 

He dreamed of Draco leaving, a horseless black carriage slowly disappearing into the evening mist as he collapsed onto his knees, crying, calling, begging and pleading for Draco to come back. 

And he would always wake up drained, cheeks tight and raw from the stain of his salty tears, eyes red-rimmed and sore, but none so aching as his heart would be, longing for something that he had, but chased away by himself.

---
    
    _And I meant, every word I said_
    
    _When I said that I love you I meant_
    
    _That I'd love you forever_
    
    _And I'm gonna keep on loving you_
    
    _'Cause it's the only thing I wanna do_
    
    _I don't wanna sleep_
    
    _I just wanna keep on loving you_

---

Draco sat at the desk in his bedroom, Harry's letters piled on the shiny surface before him. His hand trembled as he reached for the top one – the earliest one. It had arrived hours after he first did, and Draco had promptly hid it away from his eyes, lest he be tempted. Slender fingers gripped onto the parchment tightly, tiny creases appearing on the letter.

_…love you love you love you love you love you…_

_…miss you already, only been minutes, but miss you…_

_…love you love you love you love you love you…_

_…words can only say so much, but they're all I have…_

Not even realising how hard he was breathing, Draco continued reading Harry's letters, reaching for the next when one was done, laying them in a messy stack next to the neat envelopes. The letters became more desperate as they went on, and Draco felt completely wretched as he read them. Dried tear stains covered the parchment, bleeding the letters, running the ink into the fibres of the paper where they were blotted hastily but were irreparable. The familiar scrawl of Harry's words always began neatly but would always end up nothing more than trembling messes as the writer's hand shook with sobs and heartache and Draco realised that Harry must have snapped many quills as he wrote those letters; the grip on them had been so tight, and Draco could see them all in his words, could read them all from that remained unwritten.

_…minutes seem like eternity as I wait for you…_

_…why won't you come back to me…_

_…see nothing but the image of you, hear nothing but echoes of your words…_

_…please come back – come back to me…_

_…come back come back come back come back…_

With a hard shove, Draco pushed himself out of his chair, knocking it onto the floor noisily. The parchment was flung from his hands and lay, unimposing upon his desk.

No more. He couldn't read any more. 

Draco took a deep, calming breath, and whirled, his robes flaring out as he stalked from his bedroom.

***

_I can't go on running from the past  
Love has torn away this mask  
And now like clouds like rain  
I'm drowning and  
I blame it all on you  
I'm lost - God save me..._

***

A letter arrived for Harry – a tiny scroll tied with a thin black ribbon. It contained a single sentence, one lonely word.

_Soon, it said._

And Harry had smiled – truly smiled – for the first time since Draco's departure, and cradled the parchment lovingly. 

***

**

*

**

***

Harry looked sadly at the calendar that hung in the Gryffindor common room. Exams would start tomorrow, and Draco still hadn't come back. There hadn't been any more letters, either.

"Harry, come on." Hermione spoke to him softly, the look in her eyes tender as she reached for him. "It's dinnertime. Maybe he'll be back for dinner."  

Harry shook his head as a strange feeling gnawed at his insides. "No, Hermione. He won't be back yet."

"But the letter, Harry…"

"The letter was…it was to soothe me. To tell me that he knows I'm waiting. He'll come back, Hermione, just not yet. Not tonight."

Hermione smiled sadly. "Alright. But come on down to dinner with me. It's started already – look at the time."

Harry nodded and headed for the portrait. "I know."

_Soon._

---

_Iki mo dekinai_

_Joukyou shita de wa_

_Sugureta ai wo musaboru_

_(Even if you breathe, it isn't possible_

_Under these circumstances_

_The love that stays strong is superior)_

---__

Draco sat at his desk, sighing, head in his hands. He had been rash, impudent, all of those things many times over and yet, he never seemed to learn.

He wished he was a stronger person.

He wished he had been a better student of his father's. 

He wished he wasn't so immature.

He wished he hadn't left.

He wished he could call back Harry's snowy owl. 

He wished he hadn't asked it to stay after delivering Harry's daily letter.

He wished he hadn't sat down then and, realising the date, hurriedly wrote a quick reply.

He wished many things, but he never let himself regret them.

Never. 

---

"Why isn't he back yet? Our first paper begins in half an hour." Harry was pacing, too absorbed in his thoughts of Draco to go over his notes.

"Harry!" Ron burst into the common room, waving frantically. "Guess what I just heard? I was just walking down the corridor when I heard Snape talking to Vector – she's going to be the invigilator for this morning, you know, and Snape told her that Malfoy arranged to have his exams taken in France! France, Harry!" His eyes were wide, panicked at what his friend's reaction might be. 

"Oh." Harry stood, unblinking and unmoving, eerie in his stillness. 

"Harry, mate, you alright?" Ron waved a hand in front of blank green eyes. "Oh Gods, no, Harry! Come on, snap out of it! You have your NEWTs to do, stop thinking about him!"

"I – I'll be fine, Ron. You know how well prepared we are. I just…"

And then Hedwig flew in, clutching a scroll with a black ribbon, and dropped it onto Harry's head, cutting him off mid-sentence. 

"What's that, Harry?" Ron asked, as Harry unrolled the scroll.

Harry smiled widely, eyes shining, his entire countenance brightening, and Ron knew the answer already. "It's from Draco! A real letter from Draco! _Ooh…" And he scuttled off to read it in a quiet corner. _

Ron stood patiently, munching on a chocolate frog, and five minutes later, Harry returned, smiling brightly. "You're not going to tell me what he wrote, are you?" asked Ron, grinning. 

Harry shook his head no, smile threatening to spill off his cheeks. 

"Was it mushy, romantic, sappy and utterly disgusting?" Ron had meant it as a joke. Seriously. 

Harry just smiled wider.

Ron shoved Harry playfully on the shoulder. "Come on then, mate. Better head off."

Harry laughed, and the two of them headed towards the portrait hole. 

"You know, Harry," Ron mused, watching as Harry crawled through after him. "I never pegged Malfoy as a romantic type." He grinned, only half-joking now. 

"He isn't."

"Then why are you so happy after reading his letter?" Ron scratched the top of his head, confused. 

"Just because." Harry's smile began to look rather moony. 

"Uh. Okay." Ron's cheeks turned a light shade of green at the thought that Harry was getting mushy over something that Malfoy wrote to him. _Ugh. Gave him the shivers, too._

But Harry smiled a secret smile, hand wandering into his pocket to graze his fingers on the parchment, neatly folded up and retied with the black ribbon, hidden in the expanse of his robes.

---

"But at least he's in a good mood for his NEWTs," Hermione whispered back, casting a hidden glance over at Harry, who was studying in a corner.

"I know, but…" Ron leaned closer and whispered his next words as if it was classified intelligence information. "It was a mushy letter."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Mushy? Romantic, you mean?" She smiled widely, sighing. "That's so sweet of Malfoy, you know."

"Ick. Don't you ever dare to say that Malfoy is sweet. Ever again. I absolutely forbid it. Or at least not when I'm around," he added hastily, seeing Hermione glare at him.

"Well, Ron Weasley, if you had the slightest inkling of romance in you, you'd realise what Malfoy did _was_ sweet. In a horribly cruel way," Hermione mused, tapping her index finger against her chin.

"I agree with you about the horribly cruel, but sweet?" Ron wrinkled his nose. "No way. Uh-uh. That's just _wrong_."

"Well, think about it." Hermione took a deep breath, ready to give one of her mini speeches. "He leaves, which is just cruel – no explanation needed, but then sends Harry a note at the end of Easter when he knew he wouldn't be back yet. Just to tell Harry that he hasn't forgotten about him, you know? And now – when he isn't coming back for his exams, he sends a letter to Harry – and from what you told me, he probably said some very nice things in it to put Harry in such a good mood."

"Harry would be in a good mood no matter what Malfoy wrote, just as long as he did," grumbled Ron, eyeing Harry, who was now rereading the letter. 

"Exactly!" said Hermione, bouncing up in her seat. "The fact is that Malfoy _did write. The fact that he wrote at all, you know?"_

"Er. No, not really." Ron sighed. "I don't understand you people." He paused. "Or rather, just you and Harry I don't get."

"Huh. Figures." Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron, and fiddled with the cuff of her sweater. 

A comfortable silence hung between them as they watched Harry roll up the parchment and, smiling widely, go back to studying. 

"Hey, Hermione?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do after Hogwarts?"

"Oh. Haven't you thought about it?"

"Well." Ron shifted, somewhat embarrassed. "I thought that was what we were supposed to be doing at school after our exams."

"We are. It's just that you're unofficially supposed to have thought about your future already."

"Oh. Well. What are you going to do?"

"I think I'll continuing studying. In higher education, like."

"But the UK doesn't have any wizard universities. They're all on the continent." Ron's eyes had widened, and he was looking at Hermione strangely.

"Yes, well, I don't mind, really. I hear the one in Germany is one of the best. Or France. Maybe I should ask Malfoy when he gets back. He should probably know – there's no way he'll be going anywhere without studying a bit more and getting a degree. I wonder what Harry's going to do, after we graduate, I mean, because Draco will be schooling in Europe. It'll be this times three years. And then there's the apprenticeship to think about – assuming he chooses a subject requiring one."

"Well. Harry will probably just go with him," Ron muttered, meaning it to be a joke.

"Hm. Probably." Hermione smiled. It seemed only right, somehow, that Harry would get what he wanted – Draco – and so Hermione had already placated herself long ago to the fact that Harry would be with Draco and, since she was a secret romantic at heart, she currently had envisions of her best friend and his boyfriend living happily ever after. 

Ron sighed, and Hermione snapped out of her little daydream.

"What about you, Ron? Haven't you thought about it yet?"

"Yes, no, not really." He ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I'll get a job at the Ministry, like Percy did. I mean, I can go to university if I want, or even Auror College, if Fred and George chip in with the money they're earning from the joke shop, but the burden of it…" He sighed again. "I guess, yeah, I'll be like Percy. Get a job at the Ministry."

Hermione frowned. "I thought you wanted to become an Auror, Ron. I always thought you'd go to Auror College, I'd go to university, and we'd settle down somewhere…Uh. All three of us, I mean." She blushed at her slip of tongue. 

"I guess." Ron looked a tiny bit uncomfortable. "Hermione, do you really want to go to university? Study?"

"Why? Somehow, when you put it that way…"

"Never mind. You're not exactly the type to just settle down early, eh?" He gave a nervous laugh.

"Not to say that I don't want a family, Ron, but I think that I should just. Wait."

"Hermione…" Ron blushed fiercely then, and Hermione felt her heart speed up in anticipation of…what, she didn't really quite know. "I'll wait for you. Like Harry is waiting for Malfoy, I'll wait for you."

"Ron…"

"You don't have to – I mean, I know that – what I mean is – I understand if – "

"Ron!" Hermione said sharply, and Ron shut up, looking away so that she can't read the expression in his eyes. "Alright."

Ron was silent.

Hermione fidgeted just slightly. "Ron? Um. I said 'alright'."

"Alright what?"

"Just alright. Because I'll be waiting, too."

Ron whipped around then, eyes large and round, lips parted. "Hermione…"

Harry ambled over then, breaking whatever sort of tension they had, destroying the moment and scaring their words back into hiding. "Hey. Just wondering. Should I go to university on the continent? I mean. Draco will be there, right?"

And Ron and Hermione couldn't help but laugh then – why, they didn't really know.

---

_Can't get enough utsukushii mayonaka_

_Don't let me down hashiritsuzukete mo mata_

_One more night nigerenai no wa dare_

_Kizukitaku mo nai son shinjitsu_

_(Can't get enough of this beautiful midnight_

_Don't let me down, I'll still run to you_

_One more night, which of us will ever escape?_

_I wish I knew the truth)_

---

Exams came and went, and now, after over a month of exams, there were only two weeks left to the school year – the Leaving Ball was on the last night of school. The seventh years only had to go to morning classes; they didn't actually have formal classes anymore, just sessions where they received talks from various teachers about further education and apprenticeships for their particular field. Speakers from the Ministry came in, as did a pair of Aurors, to promote job applications, and the rest of their time was spent however they wanted to. 

Harry spent most of his time flying idly around the Quidditch pitch, dreaming lazily of Draco and his return. He paid no attention to Ron and Hermione's hesitant courtship, if he even knew of it at all. 

With the imminent Leaving Ball, everyone else was scurrying around, finding partners, getting formal dress robes, trying out hairstyles and makeup and different cosmetic spells. Harry went robe shopping, too, with Ron, and prepared for the Leaving Ball with his head seemingly in the cloud. The entire school whispered of his mystery date – no girl had been asked yet, or indeed, any boy. Ron and Hermione dutifully reported the rumours (he was going with_ X in __Y house but it wasn't made public because of __Z) and Harry dutifully ignored them. _

And then that was it. The last week of school crept up on them, and before they knew it, it was the night of their Leaving Ball.

Even as Hermione dressed for the Ball, she knew Draco would return tonight. It was only right that such an attention-lover would return at such an occasion. The question was what Harry would do when he finally sees Draco again. And what Draco would do when he sees Harry again. She sighed. No use in worrying about it anyway. At least, not _consciously_ worrying about it.

A knock on the door, and her heart sped up just slightly, flushing her cheeks just a little darker as she smoothed out the front of her dress and opened the door. Ron stood, in navy dress robes, holding a bouquet of red roses. "Um," he said, cheeks almost maroon as he thrust the flowers at her with shaking hands. "I didn't know what you like so I just thought I'd get you the traditional ones. You know. They have a freshening charm on them, so they'll keep for a few days. If you don't like them…" 

Hermione smiled, accepting the roses. "Thank you, Ron. They're beautiful." She went to lay them on her bed, and she heard Ron almost choke at the door when she turned around, still smiling.

"You look – you look really nice tonight, Hermione."

Her smile grew. "Thank you. You don't look half bad yourself."

Ron's blush deepened, and he extended his right arm towards her. "Shall we?"

Hermione took it as she rose on her toes and kissed Ron on the cheek. "We shall. Thank you again for the roses. I love them."

Ron cleared his throat, pulling at his collar. "Well then. Best be off now, I think. Harry should be waiting for us in the Great Hall already."

---

_Ni zhi bu zhi dao_

_Ni zhi bu zhi dao_

_Wo deng dao hua er ye xie liao_

_(Do you know_

_Do you know_

_I waited until even the flowers faded)_

---

Harry went to get another drink, getting stopped on the way to talk to some of his classmates. The lights had dimmed and music was playing as the dinner tables disappeared to reveal a dance floor.

He stared enviously at the couples swaying, arms wrapped around each other, some with eyes closed, some with foreheads touching as they whispered secret words only meant for the other's ears.

Harry sighed into his glass, draining it and setting it down on a nearby drink stand. He saw Crabbe and Goyle slink around in the shadows, and with a determined gait, he headed towards them. 

It was Crabbe who noticed him first, nodding towards him with an, "Oi, Greg, it's Potter." 

Goyle turned, eyebrow raised. "Potter."

Harry gave a weak smile. "Hey. So…" He swung his arms back and forth slightly. "…enjoying the Ball?"

Crabbe shrugged and Goyle responded with, "Same as any other we've been to."

"Yeah. So…did you like the dinner?"

Crabbe shrugged and Goyle responded with, "Same as any other we've had here."

"Yeah. So…I guess you guys aren't really going to miss Hogwarts, are you?"

"Potter. Draco isn't back yet."

"I know that," Harry said defensively.

"We don't know when he will either."

"You don't?"

"No."

"Oh."

Crabbe thought for a minute. "But the party's getting settled," he mused. "He should be bursting in just when everyone is nice and comfortable and enjoying themselves."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Oh."

Goyle sighed. "Typical Draco."

Harry frowned. "That's what Hermione's been saying all day as well." He bounced around a little. "The party's getting settled, right? So he should be back soon, right?"

Crabbe gave him a sideways look. "You aren't settled yet, Harry Potter."

"So?"

Goyle rolled his eyes and Crabbe grunted – was it a laugh? One of these days, Harry would know. But for now, well. "Get settled, Harry Potter," Crabbe said. "Get settled, and he'll come."

"But I –" Someone grabbed onto Harry's elbow then, and jerked him away. He spun around to see Ron, glowering even in the semi-darkness.

"Harry," Ron hissed. "What are you doing, talking to Crabbe and Goyle?"

"Just to talk. What, I can't do that now? I'm not allowed to?" Harry's eyes narrowed as he pulled his arm away defensively.

"I just mean, Harry, they're _Crabbe_ and _Goyle. Their fathers are Death Eaters in Azkaban! They're _Slytherins_!"_

"So? They haven't been arrested for Dark activities. Their fathers don't make them, Ron. And what's wrong with them being Slytherins?"

Ron gesticulated wildly. "Be-because!" he stuttered. "They've always made our lives hell. They've always made _everyone's_ lives hell."

"And we haven't done the same for them?" Harry shot back. "The entire school is prejudiced against them; of _course_ they're going to make everyone's lives as hellish as possible!"

Hermione appeared between them just at that moment, and the two of them instantly shut up. "Ron. Harry," she said crisply. "I have no idea what just happened. I don't _want_ to know what just happened. But I don't want you two to argue about something that doesn't matter anymore because we just graduated. Now. Why don't we set this down for now and go enjoy ourselves for one more night? You do realise that half the Gryffindors are worried that something's wrong? Don't you think you're spoiling the night a bit?"

"Fine," Ron grumbled. "Sorry, Harry."

"It's okay. Sorry too, Ron." 

Hermione sighed, and held her hand out to Ron. "Come on, don't just stand there. Dance!" She gave Harry a knowing look before leading Ron away to leave him alone with his thoughts.

Harry watched them for a while, watched as Ron gradually relaxed as Hermione spoke to him, occasionally punctuating her words with a poke at his shoulder. It was nice to know that after so long, what's meant to be will eventually find its way to be. He smiled. Maybe he should go find a dance partner too. 

He set off, walking randomly around the Great Hall, stopping occasionally to talk, but not yet asking for a dance partner. There was something nagging at him that he just can't quite place. 

The heavy wooden doors to the Great Hall were flung open with a bang, and a yellow firelight bathed the entranceway of the Great Hall. The music dwindled away to a stop and for a second, silence filled the room as their eyes only saw a black silhouette. 

Silence then gave way to a low hum that buzzed around the room as the students and teachers whispered amongst themselves when Draco Malfoy stepped away from the light, just far enough into the shadows for all to see his face, his all too familiar smirk in place as he tossed his head and his long blond hair rippled just slightly, curling around his arm as the wind from outside blew into the hall.  

Harry's heart was frozen and drumming at the same time, blood thundering through his temples until all he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat. One hand went up to his chest, clutching at his robe as his eyes widened and mouth fell open. 

_Draco – was this a vision, sent by the Gods to torment – reward him?_

Harry nudged his way between a couple who was blocking his view and paused once more. His chest hurt and his hand clutched harder as Draco took one step forward. The uneasy crowd flowed away, leaving a wide berth on all sides of him. But now, there were also more people blocking Draco from him, and Harry suddenly panicked with the illogical thought that Draco would disappear if he lost sight of him. 

Too many – too many people between them, and Harry pushed and pushed and didn't bother excusing himself, eyes fixed on Draco's figure, mind awhirl with too many emotions and thoughts and things he wanted planned _needed to say. _

Draco took another step in, and this time, Harry was able to push himself out of the crowd and he stumbled to a stop before Draco. He was pale – so pale that Harry wondered if he really was just a dream – an illusion transfigured from shards of moonlight. 

They stared, unsure of the other, all too certain of themselves. Neither of them wanted to speak first, yet neither wanted to speak last. 

The thought of onlookers faded away as they continued staring at each other, Draco's silver eyes like mercury, like a mirror – showing all and yet – nothing. 

Harry's mouth was dry, and he frowned slightly with the effort of opening it to speak. 

"Draco."

It was all he could manage to whisper. 

"_Draco."_

And then the vision spoke. "Harry," he said. "Harry, I'm back."

To Be Continued…for the last time!

**Notes: So there you have it! The second last chapter! Weird feeling. *cries* Don't want it to end. The last chapter will probably be very short. I think I squished a few chapters' worth into this one, but if I had separated them, they would have had a lot of boring detail. So I cut it down to the more important boring details!**

**Credit for the songs: **

Japanese quotations taken from _Predilection_, sung by I have no idea who, but is on the soundtrack for the anime _Gravitation._

"Every body needs a little time away…"**_ – _**_Hard to say I'm sorry by Chicago_

"I'll give you everything I am…"_ – Colour of the Night _by Lauren Christy

"Hold me now…" – _Hard to say I'm sorry_ by Chicago

"And I meant every word I said…" – I have absolutely no idea what sung by I have no idea who – this is one of those lyrics that I remember but can't place. Sorry!

"I can't go on running from the past…" – _Colour of the Night_ by Lauren Christy

"Ni zhi bu zhi dao…" – _Wo deng dao hua er ye xie lao_ by Jacky Cheung (cover. It means "I waited until even the flowers faded")

**_Again, please take some time to read the (more) notes at the bottom. They're about the characters, the plot, the actual writing – might be interesting to know why they're like that, anyhoo. :D _**

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to:**

**Akemi**_ – Believe it or not, I used to be a DBZ fan! Except in Hong Kong they have Cantonese dubs, so I'm not too sure who you're talking about. Is it the pink, round thing with two lines for eyes and a huge appetite? Thank you so much for your review, so so glad to know you're enjoying it so far. Hope you like this part too!_

**mistykasumi**_ – Eep, only one more to go! I feel so sad and weepy all of a sudden! I'm Chinese, too, la! I believe it's true. That's why cutting hair was such a big thing in Ancient China. They didn't like to cut it at all – much less hack off most of its length…yes, well. I could be wrong! Nothing in this story is supported by facts – anything here is pulled out from memory alone. So, yes. ^.^ Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing!_

Aurora_,_

**Callisto Firestarter**_ – Oh, lucky you! I have a feeling I won't get to travel again for quite some time. *sigh*. Wow. Wuuwuu. Maybe Wuuwuu and Booboo could become friends. Have tea. -_-; Hee. Seriously. Your ficlets are SO cute! Funny, too! I don't think this chapter quite lives up to the previous emotional intensity, but I tried, I really did! O.o Hope you enjoy it, even half as much as I enjoy your reviews!_

**Tsuyuno** – _Oh my good lord. I can't believe I missed your birthday. Consider this a very very late birthday present then! Hope you like it! Thank you so much for being a long-time reviewer – your support was very important to me and to this story. Thank you!_

Playboy Bunny_,_

chrisseee667_,_

havelock, 

Mi Su_,_

Anna, 

Jezebel_,_

Shikala_,_

**crimson nightmare**_ - …O.O…O.O…O.O…*speechless* Eeeeeep! First of all – thank you very much for your review! I agree – Harry and Draco are rather blind. Or, rather, *Draco* is blind. Very much so. They'll snap out of it. Now? Next chapter? Hee. We'll see! Hope you like this part!_

Milady69_,_

Queen Vegeta_,_

**mystic-flower**_ – Your review was very sweet – thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Hope you liked this chapter too!_

**Jubilee**_ – Well, I definitely wouldn't go as far as to say that Harry cheating on Draco *wasn't* Harry's fault, but I guess it was kind of. I don't know. A both ways thing? I feel absolutely the same way as you do about Harry, but I personally *live* for happy endings so I *had* to justify it somehow! Hm. As for Draco, well. Harry got the easy way out. Kinda. Thank you so so so much for your review – and definitely hope your fingernails are nice and long again…by now…*hides* The next chapter shouldn't take so long – I have it planned already! Hope you like this part anyway!_

**S. Wing** – _thank you so much! Really, really hope you like this chapter. ^.^_

Yoink Daydurfurits, 

**Bunny-kuo**_ – You're so nice to me, really! Too nice! ^.^ You're so cute, too! LOL. I'm so tremendously glad that seeing an update makes you happy – because the reason why I actually finish stories is mostly (all) because of wonderful reviews like yours! *more tissues* For your month-old tears. *sigh*. Ah well. _

Amy-la_,_

Cheyseri@aol.com, 

**TanisaFyre**_ – I have lots of tissues! Even though this part wasn't so weepy. Maybe this time I went for quantity instead of quality? No idea! Hope you liked, regardless! So so so sorry for putting this out late!_

Liliku_,_

real bluefalls dark.ness_,_

**queenofgondor21**_ – well, at the end of the last chapter when Draco got hurt, I think he just realised his feelings all of a sudden. Er, I think. What do you think?_

**The Insane Floo Pot**_ – You are seriously one of the most encouraging reviewers ever! The not-so-little nudges help, too! The thing about the Chinese is supposed to be real. Makes sense logically, too. Eep. I say 'thank you' a million times, but I bet it still wouldn't be enough. The next chapter is the last – and I'm hoping for an "oh God, I'm in Candyland" type finish. It shouldn't take long – it should be done by the first week of July. Mostly because all my exams are this week (OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD) which leaves me ample time afterwards to sleep (haven't slept for DAYS), write, sleep, and write some more into the wee hours of morning! Thank you so much for your review, and definitely hope you enjoy this chapter._

**Glow**_ – As to whether or not they'll get back together…you'll have to see! But I did promise a happy ending…! Thank you so much for reading!_

**Silmarien**_ – My characters (Harry and Draco) aren't very likeable, are they? But that's okay! Because people in real life are stupid, too. Perhaps even more *glares off to my right* Yes! Well. Hope you like this chapter just as much as the last one, and thank you so so much for your review!_

**throbbing-squirm**_ – The hair is back! And it wasn't supposed to be very short after he cut it. Around chin-length, I suppose? The happy end is in the next chapter…! Hope you liked this chapter, and definitely hope you'll like the next (the last, too!)._

**Anita Blake **_– eeek. Late update. Again. Sorry!!! Thank you so so so much for your wonderful "Oh my gosh"-es! Hope you enjoyed this part!_

Klea_,_

Aurenne_,_

Lia Santana_,_

I Am The Bunny Slayer_,_

**jeannie81** _– It *is* going to get better! Have to get to the happy ending eventually :D Not so much torture here – well, except on Harry's part. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reading!___

xing@fanfiction.net (Anonymous reviewers), 

TheUnknownJedi, 

Alura, 

Marie** McBride, **

Ladyblondhair, 

**coriander_ – Oh, I feel the same way about long hair! I felt terrible for cutting Draco's hair, but at least it wasn't too short. And we all know he'll look sexy anyway, hee. People just call me weird when I say I like happy endings. Huh. Hope you liked this part! One more to go!_**

elfee, 

Lotta_,_

Dracavia, 

antarianprincess_, _

YG, 

Krystal, 

Kitori_, _

Sunday, 

Anne Phoenix_,_

**frizzy _– Hee! Well, this is a bit different from Harry healing him, but, well, hope it worked out okay, too! Thank you so so so much for your review and hope you enjoy this chapter too!_**

Tasha, 

demongirl_, _

musegirl18_, _

**UltraHighDragonFly _– __Oh, you're so sweet! *hands tissues* I'm so so glad you like it, and I really am very sorry about my horrible updating habits…! Hope you like this chapter too!_**

KittenBabyGirl_,_

obsidian 

**Lottalita_ – Eep, sorry to make you wait even longer for this part! But hope it was (long) enough to make it okay! Leatherpants!Draco is definitely a thought. Heeheehee. And no, you weren't babbling! Thank you so much for your review!_**

Lunadeath__

J-J__

Gryffindor1

**Nix_– I definitely don't mind you translating this story – Please please send me the link when you're done? I'll appreciate it very much. Thank you!_**

MOI

PEACHDANCER82

**Phoenix Tears_ – Your review was so sweet, thank you! I'm Chinese too, and very proud of it. Our symbolism is very very interesting, I think. So why not add some into a story? Hee. I know that people used to have long hair in Western societies but was never sure why. So I just stuck the Chinese explanation in. Hee! Extra long chapter – apologies for the extra long wait! -_- _**

SparkySparkles, 

**Lilyria Ali_ – Girl, you made this chapter *happen*! Thank you *so* much for the short-notice beta job – you did *great*! So so great! I couldn't thank you enough, seriously! I have a feeling the email I sent you was weird. Sorry! Still have to work on sleeping. No time, no time! Too much to study, *sigh*. I actually fell asleep at the dinner table and my mom thought I'd died or something. Hee. Thank you so so so much for being such a faithful reader and reviewer and being so fun!_**

**blackunicorn_ – completely agree. Love is immensely fickle. Thank you for reviewing, and hope you enjoyed this part! _**

BurningSilence

Jennifer01

Epitome of Narcissism 

**Celtic Flame_ – Ooh! Imagine – me a favourite author! Thank you thank you thank you! Really really hope you enjoy this chapter just as much, and thank you so much for your sweet sweet review!_**

Lady Malfoy__

Mrs. Souma Akito

**c_ – Love your name, by the way. Thank you so much for your review – hope you liked this one too :D_**

**JumpyPUNKyMonKey – _Being a distraction is a good thing! I get distracted a lot -_- I know this is kinda (really) late, but hope your physics homework went well!_**

**Leanie _– You know what? Your review is a very concise summary of this entire Part 2. Wow! Hope you like this chapter as much as the others, and thank you for reviewing!_**

**anon_ – Update's here! Thank you for reviewing…hope the suspense managed to last this long…oops. _**

**scary stalker person –_ Yay! First death threat! Awesome. Yes, I'm weird!! Thank you so much for reading and especially reviewing. So so glad you like it!_**

**Misako_ – Oh my gosh. Your review just made my day. I am so incredibly serious. For you to put me on the same level as a fic that I practically worship by an author that I practically worship, it is just too amazing for words. I seriously hope this chapter meets up to your expectations. Thank you *so. much* for your review!_**

**Draconian_ – Um. Draco didn't shave his head, per se. I love his hair a tiny bit too much (fetish!) for me to do that to him! Thank you so so so much for your review, and really really hope you like this part._**

**Alexis Sunday _– Oh! New reader! Thank you so much for giving this a chance, even though you were, uh, 'made' to! Hope the plot didn't keep you up too many nights, knowing my record as an updater *wince* - but I'm very very happy to hear that this story made such an impression on you. Thank you, and hope you keep reading! (not much longer to go!)_**

**thrintje_ – Thank you for your review! Not much longer – the next chapter is the last. But, again, knowing my history with updating. Hum!_**

**Meemo _ - Thank you so much for reading! Your review was amazing and I thank you so much for saying all those wonderful things. The thing about the Christmas attack – I can't write action properly, so I just dropped hints (a couple of sentences) here and there…I don't think I'll write it because I can't really see what happened (not even in my own twisted imagination)…I'm so glad you like Booboo. I didn't know he was such a controversial character, so thank you!_**

**The One With Hope_ – Sorry for the lateness, heehee. Hope you liked this chapter, and thank you for your review! ^.^_**

**Ceorl Greysky _– Thank you so so so so so so much for your review! You're too sweet, really! Sex is. Well. I'm sure they think about it enough on their own, I just never put it in here. Hee. Your review was very easy to read, very concise, and oh, I'm so happy that you like it! Thank you again, and really hope you like this part too._**

**Anonymous _– Thank you for your very frank review. I really appreciate the fact that you like this story enough to bother reviewing it all. You inspired me to explain about the characterisations and so I hope that you will read them and maybe understand where I'm coming from, even if you don't agree with it ^^_**

**jean _– Yay, new reader! So happy that you gave this story a chance! As for what happened with Voldemort, I don't think I'll write a detailed account of that. I have hinted at it in Part 2, but I don't think I'll say exactly what happened or what Draco did – I don't write action well, hee. Thank you very much for your review!_**

**yuyin_ – Thank you so much for reading and reviewing – hope you like this part!  
**Rebuky**__ – Oh! *hands tissues* I like to think crying is a good thing when writing angst, so thank you! The end is nigh…not much further to go. ^^ Thank you very much for your review and hope you enjoyed reading this chapter!_**

**Elenora _– LOL! Nothing to be sorry for. I understand Booboo is very controversial, and I honestly have no idea why I wrote him in. But after I did, it looked fun, so I kept him in. ^^ I'm willing to say it's a happy ending because I myself turn away from stories where the authors warn of unhappy endings – and I don't want that to happen here. Some people are looking for sad endings – this is half an angst story after all – and so I just like them to know so they could be prepared. Thank you so much for your review, and hope you like this chapter!_**

**Xander R_. – Thank you! Little makes me happier than when people say they like my writing style. All through secondary school I had English teachers who hated my writing style, so I'm rather insecure about it, hee. And you're right – killing Draco would mean I would have to resurrect him somehow, LOL, and besides. Killing him off is so…common! Er, well, for me at least. Hope you're enjoying the rest of this fic, and thank you very very much for your review!_**

*If there's anyone I missed due to the problems with ff.net, then I'm sorry, but I love you for reading anyway!*

---

**_Stuff in  the story: - _**

**Booboo: **

     Booboo is Draco's childhood toy. He is a SuperToy – a toy that is capable of memory, thought, speech and emotion. Draco has had it since he was born, but was only able to activate Booboo when he learnt how to speak. As can be imagined, Draco got very attached to it and has therefore been unable to drop his old ways when playing/conversing with his teddy bear, hence calling himself "Moomoo" and actually playing with Booboo at all. I have received comments that having Booboo around makes Draco too OOC, and I both agree and disagree to a certain extent. I agree – Draco seems too soft, too maternal, and too _feminine_ (ugh!) around his bear. But shouldn't it be only right if he has kept a childhood toy that grew with him, was the equivalent of having a very young child of your own all these years? And yes, it is perhaps OOC for him to have actually _kept_ the bear, but because of **Big Dark**(below), it seems rather reasonable that Draco would want something to hold onto, something to soothe him when he's alone in his room at night, even after 'growing up'. And what better than a teddy bear? A walking, talking, loving teddy bear? 

**      Booboo and Draco have a mother-child, master-servant relationship – a bit of both, if you will. A bit like Sam and Frodo in JRR Tolkien's _Lord of the Rings_, with Draco as the master – making Booboo run errands for him, such as retrieving his dinner when he wanted to keep away from Harry, and they both taking care of the other. Booboo runs in circles like a headless chicken whenever there's something wrong with Draco, and Draco ultimately turns to Booboo for some much needed TLC. **

     And yes. Booboo *is* disturbing because everything in regards to the Malfoy family is supposed to be a bit disturbing. Their house, while palatial, has a bit of creepiness to all its grandeur. Lucius – well. Narcissa – doting mother. Perhaps a bit too much. She loves and spoils Draco to a point where she's rather a freaky person – just look at how compliant she is to every single one of Draco's (sometimes unreasonable) demands. Draco himself is also just a little disturbing. All in all – they're weird. They're kind of freaky. They're not quite normal. And things like Booboo become strange as well because it is a Malfoy toy. I hope you get this rather incoherent ramble.

**Big Dark: **

**      You might not remember this, but it's actually really important for Draco's characterisation. It appeared in chapter 16, or Part 2 chapter 1. It stemmed from this idea I had: Lucius was abusive, but didn't find it worth his effort to actually place hexes/curses on his son. Not to mention, Dark Curses/Hexes (in my mind) leave scars – physical scars (except for the Forbidden Curses). So, instead, Lucius locked Draco into a room with no light, no windows, no nothing. Of course, this doesn't explain why Draco goes completely crazy inside. There were a lot of spells placed on the room so that its captive would feel fear, endless all consuming fear. Hopelessness, too. All those negative feelings that could drive someone crazy. A bit like Dementors, except the room didn't bring up your worst memory, it'd just keep hammering you with fear and intense claustrophobia. Lucius believed that scaring Draco would make a better man of him. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work that way. Draco's been forced into that room since he turned three and learnt how to walk and talk properly. It was part of the home-schooling Draco received as a child. Instead of detentions, he'd be put into that room. As Draco got older, he learnt how to conduct himself as Lucius wished, but of course, he was never perfect. The sessions inside the room gradually grew further and further apart, but the effects on Draco worsened as he grew older. The effect of the time he spent inside the room at Christmas broke Draco, finally, but more about that later (look below!).**

    Overall, I wish I could explain this concept better, but I'm not that great with words (when explaining) so I don't know if you actually understand what I mean about the Big Dark. Hope you do, anyway!

**Draco: **

     _Draco's practically the poster child for child abuse_ – mentally and (practically) physically, both in canon and in movie-verse and certainly in this little story. On the outside, he was as his father wants him to be – cold, cruel, and a rather calloused character. There is a reason why Draco's character seems so much altered from Part 1 – mostly because of the trauma induced during the events at Christmas, as well as discovering Harry's (one) infidelity. He actually loves Harry very much but is afraid to admit it, having been drilled into him that love is a weakness. Before Harry's little incident with Justin, Draco was already on the verge of a nervous breakdown, consuming extremely potent alcohol and missing sleep. A combination of this gave him headaches (mentioned by Harry in Part 2, Chapter 5) – headaches that were extremely severe, sometimes rendering him void of all his senses save for pain. The only thing that kept him going was Harry. Harry's love. Mentioned very, very briefly was little gestures of Harry's love for Draco (sending chocolate and roses every day, sending love notes during class. Part 1, Chapter 14. Cheesy, but Draco's never received such affection before.) So anyway. Things were starting to fall apart even before Justin happened, but Draco ignored all the signs, mostly because of the side-effects of the Malfoy-brewed-alcohol. 

**      You've seen in the beginning of Part 2 how Draco was in a sort of catatonia – his mind had been so affected by the time spent in the Big Dark after his party (probably only a few hours in total) that he had remained delirious after Narcissa let him out. After remaining so for nine days (at Hogwarts), Draco was weak and mentally exhausted and broken. Booboo became a very important factor in keeping Draco stable after Narcissa left – she couldn't very well remain at Hogwarts because she was still a parent.**

     I mentioned this above, but I think I should talk a bit more about it. Draco liked Harry for a long time, even before the story begins. He is a very jealous character – you see this in Part 1 (the beginning chapters) where Draco is irrationally jealous about Ginny – even though he doesn't know if they are even together. When he started his relationship with Harry, he fell in love – quickly and deeply. Harry was his support – he was there when Draco received his letters from his parents, and he was there throughout it all. Draco's actions before Christmas were rather (okay, okay…very) self-destructive and his diminishing show of affection succeeded in pushing Harry away. Perhaps Draco subconsciously did it because he was terrified of what would happen at the Death Eater initiation – what if it didn't work – what if he was made to become a Death Eater? He didn't believe that his relationship with Harry would be plausible if it had happened – the suspicion and secrets would come between them. He also didn't want Harry to find his growing addiction to his father's alcohol. I suppose he wanted to keep it from Harry in the way an anorexic would hide their eating patterns. 

     I think Draco would have been a very sweet and loving boy if it were not for his father. His father and the Big Dark influenced him in ways that were completely unnatural to his emotional and mental development. Draco is precocious and this was mentioned before, as an introduction to the chapter, where it mentions Draco being very clean during his lessons at home – his learning in Potions was mentioned specifically. He's had training before Hogwarts so he is well beyond the level of a secondary school student, and with Lucius as he primary teacher, he is _well versed in the Dark Arts. _

     **Why Draco cries so much in Part 2:** Mental, emotional, nervous breakdown. The Big Dark, the immense feeling of Harry's betrayal, the pain of his own love for Harry that simply refuses to die, the fear that finally envelopes him when he tried so hard to suppress it while training for the Christmas Eve attack – it just gets too much. The reason why Draco from Part 1 and Part 2 is so different is because of the huge trauma that occurred on the night of his birthday. I don't think my words do my thoughts justice, but it's the only way I can explain it. The Big Dark, the fear from the initiation, his unstable mental health and his dubious physical health are all factors in Draco's character. I don't like to think he's weak because of what he's been through – his past and recent history.

**      Why Draco reverted back to calling Harry "Potter" for a while: He was trying to distance himself, whether in thought or in speech. As I go from different character POV's, I try to write as they would think, even though it's written in third person – and for Draco, during that time, he thought of Harry as "Potter" to try and quench his feelings for him.**

**      Never once have I said that Draco is weaker than Crabbe or Goyle. I prefer to think of Crabbe and Goyle as his friends – stupid, but his friends nonetheless. I've written a scene of them together at eight, and I had hoped that you would see the camaraderie even at that age. Now in their seventh year of secondary school, it is only logical that they should all be that much closer to each other, care for each other that much more, know each other that much better. I recognise that Draco is the dominant one, and even though I may not have shown that so well in Part 2, I certainly hope that I didn't put Draco across as being weak. Crabbe and Goyle do take care of him – but when it comes to decision making, they let Draco handle that himself. They take care of him in terms of healing his cuts, taking him to bed when he's passed out…stuff like that. They worry and they care because they're friends. They certainly do not claim to have any control or dominance over Draco and, again, I hope I didn't put them across as dominant. They're friends, that's all.**

**Harry: **

**      _Harry loves Draco so much he's lost himself_. The reason for falling so deep - well. He hungered, desired, wanted Draco for so long, and seeing the softer side of Draco (violin!) only strengthened all those feelings that had been borne even when Draco was still the heartless bastard that he had known all his Hogwarts life. **

     He loves Draco, and I must say I admire him for not getting cross with Draco when he was being so difficult during December – the time when Draco was abusing himself, and being harsh, cold, and hurtful, above all else. Their relationship at this point was falling apart (have I said this already?!) but he loved Draco so much that he accommodated all of Draco's moods and continued to show his affection. You can't get a more loving boyfriend than him. BUT! Draco's mental and emotional state around the time meant that he was too lost in his own world to notice that Harry wasn't receiving enough affection. And if there is one thing Harry needs, it's love. Being an orphan and having been raised by the Dursleys, I would think that Harry was affection-starved. He becomes very attached to both his best friends, he becomes attached to Hagrid, to Dumbledore, to Sirius…we see this in canon because Harry treasures affection from loved ones. And when the one he loves most of all, Draco, isn't giving him any, he becomes starved for his lover's love and was therefore easily led astray.

     Maybe I feel like torturing Harry subconsciously for cheating on Draco? Is this maybe why I feel as if Harry can't be happy, can't put this down, can't even try to forget about Draco? Or is it because I want him to love Draco so much that the very thought of being without him terrifies him and breaks his heart? I like to believe that Harry, who's more in tune with his feelings, knows deep down that Draco is The One – and maybe that's why he tries so hard. Too hard, perhaps, but that's the point. He cheated, and this is the only way he could prove to Draco that he still loves him. If Harry didn't try so hard, he knows that Draco will be wilful enough to show indifference no matter what he may actually feel inside. And Harry knows that Draco doesn't give second chances, and that's why he's fighting for one. This is a struggle of emotional willpower – see who breaks first: Will it be Harry, who, upon seeing the damage done, realises that it is impossible for them to get back together and therefore give up? Or will it be Draco, who, seeing how persistent Harry is, realise that Harry does love him after all and get to his senses and live out his happily ever after with Harry? 

     Harry loves Draco like he's never loved another. He believes it is worth fighting for, because this is It. That's why he tries so hard. 

**Anything else:**

**      Tell me, and I'll put it in the next update!**

**Till next time!**


	23. The End

_Title:_ Clear – Unmistakably Clear

_Part 2-Chapter 8:_ The End

_Pairing: _Harry/Draco

_Rating:_ R for slash themes

****WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.**

**Disclaimer:** The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.

**LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE. **

**Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.**

***

Harry stared at Draco, chest constricting.

He couldn't breathe.

Draco didn't blink. He didn't smile, either. There was an air of hesitation around both of them and the surrounding crowd held their breath in anticipation of what would come next.

"I…" Harry didn't know what to say.

Draco took a step closer. There was another gust of wind from outside and this time, it scattered Draco's hair over one shoulder. Harry stared at the silvery locks that, for some reason, curled at the ends.

"I…" Harry said again, and his gaze shifted to Draco's almost colourless lips and the sudden hollow feeling at the pit of his stomach dizzied him and he turned, pushing his way through the crowd and running out of the back entrance and out into the school grounds.

_like a nail through my heart_

He swallowed the night air in huge, gulping breaths, hoping to calm himself, but to no avail. He felt dizzy, heart pounding, blood rushing into his head, and he sat down heavily on the floor, right where he was standing.

"Harry." 

Harry started and almost screamed. Instead, he turned around, still sprawled on the ground, and looked up into the impassive visage of Draco, who stood, towering above his prostrate figure. 

"Draco," Harry answered, voice strangled. He made a lame attempt at conversation. "How – how have you been?" 

Draco gave a small, casual flick of his head, thin strands of hair melting into the moonlight that shone down upon them. "I have been well." His eyes were deep and molten and endless as they gazed into Harry's. "And how have you been faring these months?"

"I – I…" Harry couldn't speak. He _couldn't_. He wanted so _badly_ to tell Draco – to tell him how he had waited and waited and waited and how Draco still hadn't come back – to tell him how he had cried endless tears, alone in bed at night, thinking of him and his kisses and his smile and his touch – to tell him how he loved him still…but no words came. No words would come.

Draco deigned to lower himself, crouching before Harry, cloak giving a dramatic flutter as it brushed and slid against Harry's hand. "I know," he said. "I read your letters."

"I – I wasn't so sure you would…" Harry looked away, suddenly abashed, and sighed lightly. 

A pale, ivory hand appeared from the folds of the black, black cloak, and touched Harry's cheek with the tip of an index finger. It felt like ice, and Harry gave a minute shiver. "Only after a while," Draco admitted. "But I did."

"Oh." 

"What's the matter?"

"I'm not so sure it was a good idea for me to have – to have written them, now."

"Why?"

"I…dunno." Harry shifted and pulled his hands into his lap. He glanced quickly at Draco before looking away again. "It seemed a good idea at the time, but now…"

"I thought they were lovely," Draco breathed, and Harry smiled. 

"Really?" he asked.

"Really."

"You…liked them?"

"Yes." Draco's gaze was unblinking, and Harry found himself smiling stupidly at him.

Harry reached out and stroked the side of Draco's face, relishing the feel of velvet snow against his rough touch. "I've missed you."

"And I, you."

"You look tired."

"Not as tired as you."

"Well…" Harry didn't know what to say; he didn't want to make Draco guilty for leaving. "Are you…better, now?"

A pause, then, "Yes."

"Good."

"Harry…"

"Yes?" His word was a trembling whisper and Draco reached out to clasp both of Harry's hands in his smaller, daintier ones. 

"I'm sorry."

It wasn't exactly what Harry had been hoping for, but it was more than enough for Draco to apologise. 

"It's alright, Draco. Really. I – I know you needed it, and – and…"

Draco leaned in and brushed a kiss on Harry's cheek, barely touching his jaw line. "Thank you."

"Draco," Harry said, and reached out for him. Somehow, Draco managed to seat himself sideways perfectly in Harry's lap in a single graceful movement.

"Mind you," Draco said, "I'm only sitting like this so I won't ruin my clothes by sitting on the ground like any animal."

"That's fine," Harry smiles. It dims slightly as his arms twine themselves loosely around Draco's waist. "You've lost so much weight."

"Nervous breakdowns can do that to you," Draco said, glaring. "When I was –" He cuts himself off and his voice softens. "When I was eight, I lost almost two stone in three months."

Harry leaned his head on Draco's shoulder, breathing in his scent. "What happened when you were eight?" he asked quietly.

"That was the year…that was the year when I finally knew what the name Malfoy stood for," Draco said, and then tilted Harry's head up and kissed him barely on his lips.

Harry knew it was a direct distraction, but he didn't much care at the moment and reached up to cup Draco's cheek to stop him from turning away. He spoke, lips so close to Draco's that he could feel their softness moving on his as he spoke. "Why do you always turn from me?"

"I don't want you to know what I am," was the answer.

"But I already know." Harry tilted his lips for another brief press of lips before pulling back just the slightest. "I know you're kinder than you appear. I know you're more caring than you care to be. I know you're smarter than is possible for you to conceal. I know you're loyal almost to a fault. I know you're capable of love, because I had it once – but if there's one thing I don't know, I don't know if you're as forgiving as I wish for you to be."

Draco had looked away by the time Harry finished his little speech, and said nothing for several long moments after Harry posed his indirect question. Finally, he spoke, eyes shaded so that Harry could not read from them. "What are your plans after leaving Hogwarts?" His tone was neutral, almost carefully so, if Harry was to be judge.

"Don't try to change the subject!" He spoke more sharply than intended, and was rewarded with a heavy glare.

Draco pressed his lips together tightly before saying again, tersely, "What. Are. Your plans. After. Leaving. Hogwarts?"

Harry sighed. "I don't know. Why? What are you doing?" He had planned to stick around Draco if possible, anyway.

"University in France. In Bordeaux, to be exact. The best in the world, along with the apprenticeship college in Padua, Italy. But apprenticeship…I'd rather get my degree first." Draco shifted in Harry's lap. "The Malfoys have an estate there, you know. In Bordeaux."

"Oh."

But Draco didn't say anything else, and so Harry held him closer, relishing the feel of him after so many long months. "I'm sorry," he said. 

He could tell by the tilt of Draco's head that he was confused. "For what?"

"For…" Harry's throat seized up. "For Justin."

Draco tensed, hands curling into trembling fists. "Oh," he said simply. "That was. Partly my fault." His voice shook just the tiniest bit with the force of controlling his temper.

"No," said Harry in hushed tones. "No, it was me. All me. And I never got a chance to say it, but I am. And I have to live the rest of my life knowing that I betrayed your trust and I know it might not be worth much to you now, but you have my word, Draco, you have my word that nothing of that nature will ever happen again."

Draco didn't reply, and Harry's fingers pressed nervously into Draco's waist. 

The wind that blew past was cold, and Harry shivered, though Draco appeared not to have even felt it at all. "Draco?" Harry whispered, half afraid, leaning over to try and peer into Draco's face.

Draco turned his head away, and Harry felt a strange tightness in the pit of his stomach. "Draco, please, talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't know. Draco, you know I love you. I've done so much and we've gone through so much together, and my feelings are unchanged. I want you to…I need to know how you feel."

"How I feel?"

"…Yes." There was a certain hesitation in Harry's voice; this was a lot to ask of Draco, especially.

Draco shifted in Harry's lap, and leaned forward, resting his sharp chin on two small fists. "I feel…" Harry waited patiently, but no other words came. 

"Yes?" Harry prompted.

Draco shoved him then, and stood up, walking away. Harry lay, sprawled on the ground, shocked only momentarily before hastily getting up to follow Draco deeper into the Hogwarts gardens. "Draco," he called. "Where are we going?"

Stopping suddenly, Draco turned and caught Harry before he crashed into him. There was a certain fierceness in Draco's eyes, and they gleamed at Harry under the looming shadow of the surrounding trees. 

"Draco?" Harry swallowed hard, aware of how his voice had quaked. A small amount of fear rushed through him, as did excitement, borne from the silver peeking out at him from Draco's darkened irises.

"I love you, Harry."

The world around him froze at Draco's words and Harry was dizzy, everything spinning around him except for Draco – Draco, who was still, unmoving, directly before him, firm and steady and the only constant in this shifting world of his.

"Oh. Oh, _Draco_…" And he opened his arms wide and Draco fell into them and suddenly everything was _right again, everything made sense again, everything now had a purpose that had once been lost on a cold December night. "Say it again," whispered Harry into Draco's ear. "Please, love, say it again."_

"I love you, Harry," Draco murmured, voice soft and honeyed, tasting sweet on both their tongues as Harry lifted Draco's chin and kissed the remnants of his declaration from his mouth.

Harry pulled back breathlessly, for a moment just absorbing the sensation of raw, tingling lips and flushed cheeks. "Oh, I do love you," he said. "Really, truly so. Promise me – promise me you'll never leave me like that again."

"Are words still worth so much to you?" Draco asked, cheeks painted an endearing pale pink.

"Yes. I can't help it, yes."

Draco pursed his lips. "Why do you seek my promise instead of my forgiveness? You've blamed yourself over and over again, you've asked for many things of me tonight, but you have yet to ask for my forgiveness."

"I don't need your forgiveness. It isn't something that you can alter with mere words. When you have completely forgiven me, I'll know. And not being forgiven is alright, too, because it shouldn't be given lightly, if at all, for what I did."

"Then why do you seek such a promise of me? Why not another?"

Harry blushed then, for he had not expected Draco to ask, and so had no prepared answer except for the one in his heart. "Because I'd die without you. If only you had seen me after you left, and with no word at all…Did you know the extent of my worry for you? Of my fear? My love? It is impossible to fathom even for me now, and I have no desire to ever be that way again. I ask for your promise partly because of selfish desire – to have you close to me for ever, but I ask you wholly because I love you."

A heartbeat passed, and Harry was met with silence and the impassive visage of Draco. Another heartbeat, and then several more in quick succession as his pulse quickened.

"Harry – Harry, I…" Draco swayed unsteadily on his feet, and Harry's grip on his hands tightened, suddenly afraid. "Harry," Draco said again, before his eyes closed and he crumpled over to fall, but not before he was caught by Harry.

***

_Dear Hermione,_

_     I hope you are well. I am doing great, and Draco's health continues_

_to improve daily. Of that, I am especially glad. He has been ill for so_

_long that I fear there may long term consequences of his alcohol abuse_

_and of being tortured by Lucius. But never mind that now. _

_     France is absolutely beautiful – we are at the Malfoy villa in Paris at_

_the moment. Narcissa is off shopping in Milan, so it's just me and Draco._

_Don't you be getting any funny ideas now. We're proper. If hot-blooded_

_teenage boys with raging hormones._

_     We went to the Louvre yesterday – Draco spent well over an hour_

_gazing at this painting of a dead girl floating in a cave. He ranted on and_

_on about how famous it was and all sorts of technical arty stuff, but to _

_me, it was just a dead girl floating in a cave. He finally rolled his eyes at _

_me and muttered 'plebe'. I didn't know he even knew of the term._

_     The next stop for us is an uncharted estate in the open fields of the_

_French countryside – the (35,000+ sq. ft.) 'cottage' that Draco stayed at _

_while he was away from Hogwarts. We're heading that way tomorrow, _

_and we'll be staying until university starts, where we will then move to _

_the Malfoy estate in Bordeaux. We plan to commute, and set up house_

_together._

_     What have you been doing lately? Well, I suppose 'Ron' is the answer,_

_but anyways. Miss you a lot – come visit us! _

_Much love,_

_Harry_

_P.S. I almost forgot. Draco wanted to say that he got eight NEWTs, all_

_with Outstanding marks, which is two more than you have. I know, I_

_know, I shouldn't let him gloat like this, but I am proud of him, you know._

_What with all the events that happened this year, and his poor health…I'm_

_just glad that he has the energy to gloat at all. ~H.P._

Harry signed his initials with a flourish, and waved the parchment to dry. 

"Harry?"

He looked over his shoulder to the bed, where Draco lay, rubbing sleepily at his eyes with a fist. Harry smiled. Seeing Draco like this was one of the many times he reminded himself how lucky he was and how strongly his love still pulsed through him. "Yes, love?" he answered softly, knowing how tender Draco's hearing could be after waking from slumber.

"What are you doing?" Draco's arm flopped down onto the fluffy comforter.

"Just writing a letter to Hermione."

"Did you tell her I got eight NEWTs? Bet she'd be glad to hear that." Draco's voice was smug, though still laced with fatigue and sleep.

"I did. Go back to sleep, Draco. When you wake up, we'll have dinner and then we'll go for a walk, how about it?" Harry set the parchment down and went to sit at Draco's bedside and hold his hand.

"Alright," Draco said, without any scathing remarks or smart comments, because he tired so easily that not sleeping wasn't really an option. His eyes were already closed, and his body too tired to move from its spot. 

Harry leaned down and kissed Draco softly. "Rest well, Draco. I love you."

"Love you, too," Draco replied, even as he slipped into the dream world.

**The End.**

**Notes:** Well. My God. It's finished. I can't really believe it. Maybe I'll rewrite this last chapter later, but for now, I like it like this. For now. Hee. I'm sorry that I won't be able to thank people individually here, mostly because I have no time. I'm leaving for the airport in an hour, and I won't have internet access until September, when the semester starts. I will be adding an Author's Notes page later, though, to thank all you readers and reviewers properly. However, I must apologise for this strange note because my brain has apparently stopped functioning. Hope you found this chapter satisfactory, and if not, do tell me why! 

Thank you all so much!

Much love,

venenatus.venustas


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